


Collided

by Kaylabug9203



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ballet, Ben and Kylo are twins, College, Depression, F/M, Mild Smut, POV Ben Solo, POV Rey (Star Wars), Past Sexual Abuse, Police, Rey does not end up with Kylo, Reylo - Freeform, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, Smut, just saying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-04-16 22:20:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 38
Words: 117,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14174598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaylabug9203/pseuds/Kaylabug9203
Summary: **Reylo modern AU** Rey Kenobi just graduated high school and is now starting college at Naboo University to be a better ballet dancer. She lives on her own since she has no family that's alive anymore. Luckily, she still has her best friends Finn and Poe. Ben Solo was just hired to be a security guard at Naboo University and he plans on doing well. It is his first job and he wants to make a good impression. With Rey dancing all the time and Ben being a police officer, they always somehow run into each other.





	1. Chapter 1

Rey's POV:

Being a ballerina isn't easy. Especially when she has to pay for everything herself. She has no family to help her and that's tough on an 19 year old. She won't ever give up though. Her job helps her a lot thanks to Maz, her boss and friend. Rey sees Maz as a mother sometimes because she is so caring and wise. Rey used to dance almost every day at her dance studio but now that she graduated high school, she decided it's time to get more advanced and make ballet her career. Her college classes will be very hard but she knows she can do it. Every day except Sundays, Rey will be dancing from 6 am to 3 pm. Only breaks she will get is Lunch and the 10 minute break every 2 hours. She is glad her classes are that early because she needs time to work at Maz's restaurant.

Finn and Poe are her best friends. She's known them since 2nd grade. They've been on camping trips together and they've been to Disneyland. Once they all became seniors in high school Finn and Poe drifted away from Rey a little bit because they turned out to have feelings for each other. They are still dating and they honestly look really cute together. Rey tries to hangout with them as much as she can. Rey is cleaning up her apartment and getting everything ready for tomorrow. She is extremely nervous for her first day tomorrow. Luckily Finn and Poe are coming over tonight to watch movies with her. They want to wish Rey good luck on her first day. As she was cleaning her room, Finn and Poe arrived.

"Hey Rey!"

"Hi guys!" She gave them both a hug and went to the kitchen to make popcorn.

"So Rey... are you excited for college?" Finn always starts the conversations when they are all together.

"Hell yeah! Ever decide if you're gonna go to college or not?"

"Yes I did. Poe and I are going to the same college apparently."

"Oh really?" If Rey is honest, she does get a little jealous. She gets jealous not because they hangout together more than they hangout with her, but because they both found love. Rey has never been on date, never had a boyfriend, or a first kiss. She's never been asked out and when she asks someone out, they always say no. Is it because she isn't pretty enough? Do they not like her outgoing personality? Or is there someone out there who is waiting for her? Poe finally interrupted her thoughts answering her question.

"I am going to college to be a pilot and Finn is going to be a cop."

"Wow I'm impressed with you two." Rey sat down on the couch as Poe and Finn followed. They decided on watching Pitch Perfect. It's always been their favorite movie.

\---

Rey woke up at 4:30 to get ready. She did a little bit of makeup, put her hair in a bun, and packed her ballet, pointe, and lyrical shoes. She looked at her schedule over and over again making sure she isn't missing anything.

6:00-8:00 Technique

8:10-10:00 Pointe

10:10-12:00 Pointe

12:00-1:00 Lunch

1:10-3:00 Contemporary

It will be very exhausting but she can do it. She left her apartment and got into the car her grandpa bought her when he was alive. All her family is dead and this car is all Rey has left of them. Her grandpa took care of her when her parents died in a car accident until he died. She was 17 so she had to be in the foster care system until she turned 18. Unkar Plutt was her foster parent and a very bad one. Thank goodness she only had to live with him for 5 months. Because of him, she lost all the pictures of her family and anything else that was given to her. Unkar surprisingly let her keep the car and he also let her dance. She has only one picture of her, her mom, and her dad on her phone but that's it. She was 7 in the picture and her parents look so young.

She cries about this quite often. Finn and Poe are too busy to notice how much she's hurting. It doesn't help that Rey can hide her sadness really really well. Before Rey knew it she was at NU (Naboo University). This college is a college for performing arts. Dancing, singing, acting, etc. so she will hopefully make friends easily. She got to her class and the second she walked in, she knew she would like it here. As the day went on the classes were very intense but it wasn't something she couldn't handle. She loves dancing, but she also loves food so she bolted out the door when they were dismissed for lunch. She was so unfocused on where she was going that she didn't even see the person in front of her. She slammed into someone and almost fell but he grabbed onto her arms not letting her fall.

He was very tall with pale skin, brown eyes that look almost black, and black hair that went almost down to his shoulders. His hair is better than hers! He also has a really good build. As she got back on her balance she realized he was a cop. Shit she slammed into a cop!

"Oh my gosh I'm so sorry!"

"It's alright. What's the rush?" His voice was very deep and she was proud to admit that this guy was extremely attractive. No. Hot.

"Just... running late." She didn't want to tell him the real reason.

"Well have a good day." He turned and continued down the hall. Who was this person? He looked quite young to be a cop.

\---

"Hey Rey! How was your first day?"

"Hi Maz. It was fantastic! I absolutely loved it! I'm exhausted though." She grabbed her work clothes and went to quickly change. She came back out to see Maz staring at her.

"What?"

"You met someone."

"Uh... I met a few people Maz..."

"No. Someone that has clearly affected you."

"What are you talking about?" Maz is the strangest person she knows, in a good way.

"You're really energetic. You always are but today you're extra. You also are rarely early for work." She thought about who she met today and she remembered the police officer she ran into.

"I slammed into a police officer..."

"Yep. You did meet someone. Give me details later, you have work to do." Rey helped a few customers and then she saw a familiar face. It was the cop she ran into earlier, literally, but he wasn't in uniform anymore. He was wearing black jeans, black shirt, and black shoes. Wow he really likes black.

"Hi what can I get for you?"

"Just a coffee."

"Alright... oh and again sorry about earlier... if you remember me."

"Oh yeah it's no big deal."

"Are you off duty?" She doesn't know why she wanted to talk to him so much.

"Yeah. It was actually my first day on the job and my first day here in Naboo."

"Well it's not my first day in Naboo but it's my first at NU."

"Nice. How long have you lived here?"

"2 years. I lived in Jakku before that." She doesn't know how it was so easy to talk to a complete stranger.

"What are you studying at NU?"

"Ballet. I've done it since I was 3."

"It's nice to see someone do something they're passionate about." Rey was about to say something but Maz told her to get back to work so she went back and got Ben his coffee. It was around 5 so she didn't have break for another hour. She took more orders while she waited for the coffee and her break.

"Here is your coffee." She needs to find out his name so she can stop thinking cop.

"Thank you...Rey." He must of looked at her name tag.

"You're welcome."

"My name is Ben by the way. Ben Solo."

"Well Ben if you need any help with anything you know where to find me." She turned and got back to work. During her break she ate some dinner a few seats away from Ben. He got dinner too a little bit before her break. She texted Poe and Finn in their group chat about her day.

Finn: Hey guys. Rey how was your first day?

Poe: Yeah how was it?

Rey: It was amazing! I'm really going to like it at NU.

Poe: Meet anyone new?

Rey: I met everyone in my class and a cop.

Finn: A cop?

Rey: I slammed into him on accident. He also ended up coming to Maz's restaurant. We had a nice conversation.

Poe: And he's a cop?

Rey: Yeah...

Poe: Was he hot?

Rey: Yes... Definitely yes

Finn: Uh oh Rey don't fall for a cop. He could be like 50 years old.

Rey: Hey I never said I liked him. I just said he was hot. Plus he isn't 50 years old. He looks way too young. I'm guessing he is about 24ish.

Finn: Still too old!

Rey: Shut up gotta go.

The more she thought about it the more she wanted to ask. How old is Ben? He could be like 35 and just look really young. She saw him leave and she was hoping she would see him again. She cleaned his table up and saw that he left a $10 tip. Geez the highest tips she ever gets is $3. Interesting.

Ben's POV:

Ben had spent 6 years in college to become a cop. 24 seems young to be a police officer but he was able to finish college early, especially since he started right when he turned 18. He wanted to be a cop since he was 15. Leia Organa was always a great mother but Han Solo was rarely home. Because of this Ben acted out and always caused problems at school. His parents had enough of it and sent him to live with his uncle when he was 9. His uncle, Luke Skywalker, is a psychologist. For 6 years, Luke helped Ben through his sadness and anger. During this time though, he made friends with Hux and Phasma. They are brother and sister. They had a really creepy dad though. Snoke. He hates that name still to this day. Him and Hux were sexually abused by Snoke while Phasma had to watch everything happen. After 6 years of being with Luke he finally built up the courage to tell him. Ben was immediately sent back home when he was 15 and went through months of therapy. Snoke ended up being put in jail for 10 years. What's scary is that he is out in a year.

Going through this he realized how dangerous the world is. He wanted to change that so he wanted to be a cop. He wanted to protect people from danger. His only friends were Hux and Phasma so when he left he was really lonely. He still is. He texts Hux every once in a while but that's it. This leads to a lot of depression but he gets through it. He was finally hired to be a cop in Naboo and he was a little worried to move out of state and away from his family. This is his dream so he won't turn it down. Naboo is a large city so it is a big responsibility. He will also have to go to NU sometimes to make sure everything is okay. He woke up at 5 am and put his uniform on. He wants to make a really good impression so hopefully he doesn't mess up today. He just has to do normal cop business and go to NU at noon for a meeting with the head of the school.

The day was pretty uneventful for Ben so he was glad when he finally went to NU. He was walking down the hall and the next thing he knew someone slammed into him nearly making him fall. He grabbed onto the girl before she could fall. When she spoke he was surprised to hear a British accent. He had somewhere to be so he quickly ended their conversation and went on with his day. The meeting was just the head of NU explaining everything. He needs to be at the school Mondays and Thursdays from noon to 4. The rest of his time will be spent doing the normal cop stuff. Thank goodness he gets weekends off because he works from 6 am to 5 pm.

Ben wasn't sure what places there were to eat in Naboo because he's never been here before. He moved here from Chandrila and it was a little hard not being around his family all the time. He drove around until he found a place that interested him. "Maz's Diner". He walked in and was seated by an older woman and he was going to have coffee for now then get dinner a little later. He isn't used to waking up so early. He heard a very familiar voice asking him what he wanted and he looked up to see the girl that ran into him earlier. They talked a little bit and when she walked away he only wanted to talk even more. He can never talk that easily to anyone. Why was it so easy to talk to her? He later learned that her name is Rey by reading her name tag.

Ben watched her work as he drank his coffee and ate the dinner he ordered. She is a dancer so that explains why she is so fit. A lot of girls are fit but Rey has a lot of leg and arm muscle for someone like her. She is very small and has changed her hair into an interesting 3 bun hair do. She is also really tan with freckles and hazel eyes. He stopped observing her after a while not wanting to be creepy. He finally got up and left, making sure he left a tip for Rey. He will probably be seeing her often because she goes to NU and he might be going here a lot.

\---

His second day on the job went well. Maybe even better than yesterday. After work he decided he was going to go for a run in the park he was at earlier. He worked hard in college to get fit for the job so he wants to stay that way. It was around 7 and it was starting to get dark outside but he didn't care. He sat down to take a break and saw Rey walking and talking on the phone. She looked angry so he was just going to pretend he didn't see her. He got up to start running again but he saw Rey trip so he quickly ran to catch her.

"I gotta go Poe." She put her phone away and looked up at Ben.

"You're pretty clumsy for a ballerina."

"Well I'm super pissed right now and wasn't paying attention to my surroundings. Nothing new though. I never pay attention." She laughed a little and he smiled.

"Why are you mad?"

"My damn friends are being assholes right now. It's my break so I decided to go for a walk, but I was surprised with a call from one of them." She rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Sorry about that."

"I need to head back to work so have a nice night Ben."

"You too." She turned around and left. Seriously, how is he talking to a stranger so easily? He could barely talk to anyone without panicking. He doesn't know what's going on with him but all he cares about right now is getting home and going to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Rey's POV: 

Rey's second day went really well. She is really sore from dancing so much but she doesn't mind. Her, Poe, and Finn were going to go to see a ballet called Swan Lake tonight and she was so excited. They only agreed because her birthday is coming up and they won't be here on her birthday. When she got to work she never saw Ben come in and she was a little bummed but she continued work anyway. She was so excited she needed to go for a walk during her break. Poe called her and she quickly answered. 

"Hey Poe!"

"Hi...I have bad news."

"Can we talk about it after the ballet? I'm in a good mood."

"Yeah about the ballet... Finn and I can't make it."

"What? Why not?"

"Uh... we have a party we forgot about..."

"A party? You're going to miss this ballet that only happens once for a party?"

"We can do something else for your birthday..."

"My birthday is in 2 days Poe. And tonight is the only night that Swan Lake is performed." She was starting to walk into a park starting to get pissed. 

"Well then just go to the ballet alone."

"Poe that would be awful."

"Get over it."

"You guys suck! You never hang out with me anymore!"

"Stop being jealous."

"I'm not jealous!" Rey tripped and almost fell but she was caught by Ben.

"I gotta go Poe." After her and Ben talked a little bit she realized she had to head back to work. She already told Maz she had to leave work early so she will just go to the ballet alone. She doesn't need Poe and Finn. 

\---

Rey left work and headed back home to change into a dress and to do her makeup. She grabbed the tickets off the table and headed to where the ballet was being performed. Half way there the car stopped. Out of all days it had to happen tonight. She noticed her gas tank was empty and the closest gas station was 10 minutes away. Good thing the ballet doesn't start for another 30 minutes. She was wearing heels so she took them off and started walking. People passing by kept giving her weird looks but she didn't care. She finally made it to the gas station and got gas to go put in her car. As she was walking back she noticed 2 guys following her but she didn't think much of it. At least until they caught up with her. They both walked beside her and she was starting to panic but she didn't want to let it show.

"What's a pretty girl like you doing out here at night?"

"None of your business."

"You need us to make sure you make it home safe?" He chuckled and it made her really nervous.

"You have a nice body. Do you dance?"

"Yes. Ballet. I can beat you with my Pointe shoes if I have to." 

"Ooh ballet. I wonder what you look like in those things they wear.

"Leotards?"

"Yeah those. But you don't have to beat us with Pointe shoes. We don't bite." While this guy was talking the other stayed completely silent.

"Would you two please just leave me alone?" 

"Oh come on. We haven't even started." He wrapped his arm around Rey's shoulders and she pushed them away and started walking faster. They wouldn't take no for an answer. They both started to pull her and touch her and she was ready to punch them. They cornered her at some dead end and she wasn't sure what to do. They looked a lot stronger than her. She punched the one that keeps talking in the face and kicked the other one in the shin. She made a run for it. She was running for a good 10 seconds before arms grabbed onto her and yanked her into an alley. Both the guys trapped her again. The one that stayed silent held her against the wall while the other spoke.

"You're a feisty one."She went to punch him but someone beat her to it. The guy was punched and fell to the ground then the other was yanked off of her and was thrown to the ground too. 

"Get out of here or I'll do more than what I just did!" She heard that familiar deep voice as the guys made a run for it. When the guy turned to face her she saw that it was Ben. How do they keep running into each other? She lost the gas container during all this but she'll find it later. 

"You okay? Did they hurt you?"

"I'm fine. They didn't hurt me."

"Good. I'll walk you wherever you were going... where exactly are you going?"

"Oh I was heading to a ballet but my friends bailed. So now I'm going alone... my car ran out of gas so I had to walk and get some in one of those container things. Now I have to walk back and find it. I must of dropped it when I was running from those creeps."

"Oh. Is that what your friends were being assholes about earlier?"

"Yep." She started walking as Ben followed. She easily found the gas and started walking back to her car.

"I can give you a ride."

"My car is right there so it's fine." She got to her car and put the gas in it as Ben stood there.

"What ballet are you seeing?"

"Swan lake. It's the only performance so I convinced my friends to go but they cancelled last minute cause they had a party. It sucks cause they won't even be here for my birthday either, which is in 2 days."

"That's lame. I'll go with you...if you want..."

"Really? But aren't you on duty?"

"Yeah but it's okay. I get off work in an hour anyway."

"I could use some company... lets take my car since I went through all that crap to get it going." He got into the passenger seat as Rey got in. She's glad she has a nice car. 

\---

"That was really good!" Rey was so impressed by how well the ballet was. She hoped Ben enjoyed it as much as she did.

"Yeah. I usually hate that kind of stuff but I actually really enjoyed it." He smiled a little and she really hoped he wasn't saying that to be nice. They got back into her car and she drove him back to his. He went to get out but Rey stopped him. He looked at her waiting for her to say what she was about to say. 

"I never said thank you so thank you... for getting those creeps away and for coming with me to the ballet." 

"Your welcome. Drive safe." He got out as she waved goodbye then drove back home. She looked at her phone and it was 9:30. She also had 7 messages from Poe and Finn.

Finn: Rey I'm so sorry we couldn't make it tonight! Can I make it up to you? 7:36

Finn: Pls answer :( 8:12

Finn: Don't be mad at me pls 8:56

Finn: Rey I'm sorry 8:59

Rey: Its okay Finn. It's Poe I'm mad at. He was a complete jerk tonight. Can we hang out tomorrow just you and me?

Finn: Yeah peanut :)

\---

Poe: Rey I'm sorry we couldn't make it. You just need to understand that we had plans we forgot about 7:45

Poe: If you're seriously going to ignore me then fuck you 8:34

Poe: Stop being a bitch and answer me 9:01

Rey: Gosh asshole I went to the ballet alone. Can't text during that. You're being an asshole tonight.

Poe: Well you're being a bitch!

She doesn't know what is up with Poe tonight but she isn't going to talk to him until he apologizes. Rey got a snack and started watching Stranger Things. She was falling asleep around midnight when she got a call from Poe.

"What do you want Poe?"

"I'm calling because you aren't answering your texts!"

"Oh yeah I blocked you..."

"What the fuck Rey?!"

"I didn't want to speak or text you until I calmed down and you apologized."

"Why are you being so dramatic?! It's a damn ballet! You're so damn girly-"

"Now hold on Poe don't go there! You asked me what I wanted to do for my birthday and that's what I wanted to do! You can't even be with me on my fucking birthday! I'm going to be all alone! You know how hard it is for me to make friends!" Rey has always had a hard time making friends and she has no idea why. 

"Well that's your fault! You're just too dramatic and all the attention has to be on you so no wonder you have no friends!" She started to tear up. Why was Poe being this way?

"You are officially the worst friend ever." She hung up and threw her phone across the room not caring if it broke. She calmed herself down and went to pick her phone up. Just as she thought, the screen was shattered. Yay. Now she not only has a friendship to fix, but now she has a phone to fix. 

Ben's POV: 

Ben headed home after his run and he was so tired. He got a call when he was almost home saying he had to work until 8. He groaned when he hung up and drove around for a while. He parked on the side of the rode and looked through his phone. Some movement in the corner of his eye caught his attention so he looked up. He saw a girl dressed really nice walking beside two guys. They were pushing her around so he guessed they were just friends. He continued what he was doing until he saw the girl running from the two guys. He followed them in his car making sure nothing is wrong and he realized something was wrong. He hurried and got out of his car and quietly followed them. When he got closer he realized it was Rey. What was she doing walking around dressed like that? He punched the guy touching her and threw the guy that was pinning her to the ground. He was glad they were scared of him. They should be. 

He found out she was going to Swan Lake and he felt bad for her. Her friends seemed to upset her tonight so he thought it would be nice to go to the ballet with her and it was. He didn't think he would enjoy it at all but Ben actually really liked it. The story line was unique. He easily understood how the dancing was telling the story. He couldn't help but smile whenever he looked at Rey. He loved the expressions on her face and he knows for a fact that dancing is something she truly loves. She is also really pretty. Inside and out. He's never met anyone with so much energy. Even when she is sad she some how stays positive and keeps a smile on her face. Who ever doesn't want to be her friend is insane.

When he got home he immediately threw his uniform off, put sweatpants on, and went straight to bed. 

\---

The next day went by really fast and before he knew it, it was Thursday. It went by so fast because he got involved with a car chase. It was fun but it really probably shouldn't have been fun. It's been 4 days since he started and he's already wanting a break. It's a little tiring. Since it's Thursday he had to go to NU and he knew he would see Rey. When he got to the school he passed Rey so he waved but she didn't look too happy. He hasn't seen her this sad before. Every time he sees her she is happy. She walked into her class and he suddenly got really curious. What does her dancing look like? He dismissed that question and went on with his day. 

His curiosity was killing him. He had to see Rey dance. He walked to the class she walked into earlier that morning and he saw all the dancers doing stuff across the floor. They all looked pretty good but when Rey went across the floor he was amazed. She was the best out of all of them by far. He was interrupted by one of the administrators. 

"Officer Solo?"

"Yes?"

"Good thing you're here. We need you to go in there and ask for Samantha Reynolds. She's been reported to have drugs with her on school property. We will need you to do a bag check in the class then bring her to the office."

"Yes sir." He stepped into the classroom and walked up to the teacher. The dancers were still dancing as they spoke and he got even more amazed every time Rey danced. 

"I need Samantha Reynolds."

"May I ask why?"

"Bag check."

"Ah..." She turned the music off and got everyone's attention.

"Samantha come here please." She walked up to Ben and the teacher and as she did he made eye contact with Rey. He coughed and looked back at the girl. He noticed all the girls were staring at him. Some were biting their lips and others whispered in someone else's ear as they looked at Ben. Ben knew what they were thinking and clearly Rey did too. She looked irritated as she looked at the other girls. 

"Officer Solo?"

"Huh?"

"You needed to do a bag check?"

"Oh yeah." He followed the girl back to her dance bag and she looked pretty guilty. He looked through it and found exactly what he thought he would.

"I'm gonna have to ask you to come with me." She nodded and he pushed her along holding on her to arm. He looked back at Rey before she left and she was looking down at her feet. He wonders what's wrong. He was about to leave the school when a girl walked up to him. She was one of the dancers from Rey's dance class.

"Hi officer."

"What can I do for you?" She bit her lip and he mentally rolled his eyes. He never thought girls would ever do this. Especially to him. 

"Oh I don't know... maybe dinner? Then we could head to my place?" Fuck no.

"Uh sorry mam but-"

"Ben! Hi! Ready to go?" What the hell was Rey doing? She raised her eye brows and he realized she was trying to help him so he went along with it.

"Yeah lets go sweetheart." The girl rolled her eyes and walked away. He owes Rey. 

"Your welcome." Rey started to walk away and he caught back up with her.

"Thanks. That has never happened before."

"Expect it. You're a hot police officer. Girls are going to go after you." Hot? So... Rey must think he's hot. He smirked at Rey and she rolled her eyes.

"Yeah shocking. I think you're hot. Big deal."

"That is 100% not true." She stopped and looked Ben up and down.

"Are you serious right now? Have you seen yourself? You got the world's best hair, you have a great body, which I'm positive took a lot of hard work, you're so fucking tall, and don't forget your face. And that's just you without the uniform. Don't get me started with the uniform." He didn't think Rey thought this at all. 

"Well thank you."

"Your welcome." She still looked irritated like she did earlier when all the girls were staring at him.

"Are you jealous?" 

"What? No! Why would you think that?" 

"You looked irritated when all the girls stared at me in class. What if I said yes to that girl back there?" She looked back at the girl who was talking to her friends now and looked pretty jealous to him. That's cute. 

"You are jealous."

"Shut up." She walked away and he wouldn't let her get away just yet. 

"Why are you jealous?" She stopped and her annoyed expression softened. 

"If I'm honest, I actually have no idea why."

"Oh well. I'm not interested in college kids anyway." 

"We're not kids. We're adults."

"You're an adult. Not them." He winked and walked away. He had no idea what he meant by that. What the hell did that mean? 

\---

He got to Maz's Diner and Rey was pretty sad. He could tell by her face expression and the way she walked. He got his usual and he saw Rey step outside. He quickly finished and went outside. He was tired once again. Nothing new. As he got into his car he saw Rey sitting alone on the curb so he stopped what he was doing and sat down next to her. 

"What's up? You've been looking pretty sad and irritated today." 

"Nothing important."

"Let me be the judge of that." She looked at him then sighed as she looked back down at her hands. 

"It's my 20th birthday." How did he forget? She literally told him 2 days ago. 

"What's wrong with that? Shouldn't you be with your family and friends celebrating?" 

"That's exactly whats wrong. I should be with family and friends but I don't have any. I spent my damn birthday all alone."

"You have to have some family. What about those asshole friends you talked about? 

"Both my friends are busy tonight. Well more like friend. Poe, one of the friends, isn't my friend anymore. We got in a huge argument and now he hates me."

"What happened?"

"Said I was being a bitch and that all the attention always had to be on me. The other friend, Finn, hung out with me yesterday and explained that Poe didn't want to talk to me anymore. Finn also won't hangout with me because Poe doesn't want him to so now I have no friends."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Why aren't you with your family?" She closed her eyes and he saw a tear roll down her face.

"I don't have a family. They're all dead..." She literally has no one. 

"My parents died in a car accident when I was 16. My grandma was already dead and so my grandpa took care of me. He died when I was 17 so I had to go into foster care. I have no aunts, uncles, or cousins. Let me just say, foster care sucks ass." She sat for second and Ben felt so bad. Has she ever even had a boyfriend? Ben has had 2 girlfriends before but he's never really clicked with either of them. Especially when they got intimate... 

"I'm so sorry Rey..." She was trying to hold her tears back and he could tell so he hugged her. As soon as he did she started to cry. He didn't mind. She's probably been holding it in for a while now. After a while she stopped crying and she pulled away smiling a little bit. 

"You're the first person that's ever been there when I cry..." How often does this happen?

"What do you mean?"

"Believe it or not, I actually am a pretty depressing person under all the smiles and laughs. I fake pretty good." She paused and looked at him.

"I'm sure you don't want to hear it though so I'll just get out of your way."

"No I do. I might be able to relate to you in a way." She smiled at that.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Mentions of self harm**

Rey's POV:

Wednesday came and Rey's eyes were hurting from crying herself to sleep last night. She at least got to look forward to dance classes and hanging out with Finn. They decided to go out for lunch during Rey's break. Rey went through her classes pretty quickly and hurried to where she was meeting Finn. 

"Hi Finn!"

"Hey peanut." She sat down and he looked serious.

"What happened between you and Poe last night? He told me his side and I want to hear yours."

"He was getting mad at me for being a little pissed that you two bailed on me. He called me dramatic and said all the attention has to be on me and that's why I have no friends."

"He said that?"

"Yeah."

"Well he isn't happy with you. He doesn't want to speak with you right now so don't bother with texting or calling him."

"Wasn't planning on it." Rey rolled her eyes and Finn looked sad.

"Also... I promised him I wouldn't hang out with you. He doesn't want me to..." Rey was getting so angry at both of them now. 

"You know what? Fine. You two have fun getting married and adopting children and going on cute little vacations together. Might as well tell you now because I won't be there." She slammed her hands on the table, stood up and walked away. 

"Rey! Wait!" She got in her car and drove away. She literally has no friends anymore. She has no one. What did she ever do?

\---

Thursday, her 20th birthday came. She dreaded this day every time it came. Finn called her over and over again but she didn't answer. She ignored it every time. When she got to class she finally was able to get her feelings out by dancing. Her Pointe shoes were pretty dead so she might need to buy some new ones later. She was doing the combo across the floor letting all of her anger disappear. She got nervous when Ben walked in but she continued anyways. Might as well impress him. She finished the leap across the floor when the teacher got everyone's attention. Rey saw everyone stare right at Ben. It bothered her a little bit but when she heard what some people were saying she was getting really pissed. 

"Holy shit he's hot."

"I'm totally asking him out."

"I just want to touch his hair."

"Can he be mine?"

Why was she pissed? There is no reason to be mad. Well... jealous? She should cut the jealousy because Ben wouldn't ever be with someone like her. As soon as he left she started dancing again trying her best to get the jealousy to go away. When all her classes were over she saw a girl talking to Ben and Ben looked a little confused and uncomfortable at the same time. Ben did her a favor, Rey will gladly do him a favor. She got the girl to go away but she was still jealous so she wasn't in a good mood. Well she wasn't in a good mood to begin with. 

Ben was not getting the hint that girls were swooning over him. So she told him the truth. He was a hot police officer. She told him everything she thought about his appearance and really didn't give a shit. If it makes him understand than so be it. What he said though confused her. 

"Oh well. I'm not interested in college kids anyway." 

"We're not kids. We're adults."

"You're an adult. Not them." Then he winked. What the hell did that mean? She thought about it for a while. He isn't interested in college kids... and he said Rey was an adult... not them... the wink added to it. What did he mean? Ugh it's so frustrating. She went to work and Maz didn't even remember that it was her birthday so she didn't say anything. She just wanted this day to end. She went outside during break to get fresh air but she wasn't alone for long. She was a little relieved to see Ben sit by her. He even listened to her and let her cry on him. Not even Poe, Finn, grandpa, and Maz let her. She didn't want to overwhelm him with her crap though.

"I might be able to relate to you in a way." No one listens to Rey but Ben is. She trusts him with everything she is about to tell him.

"Well... as you know my whole family died... my foster parent was pretty awful but I didn't have to deal with him for long. Poe, Finn, and I have been best friends for as long as I can remember and ever since senior year they are getting further and further away from me. They are together just FYI." He nodded and she continued. 

"Now they aren't my friends anymore all because of a stupid ballet...they never understood. I can never make friends. I try so hard. So hard. It never works...hell I've never even had a boyfriend. No first kiss, not even a first date... is something wrong with me?" 

"No. People just need to give you a chance..."

"I know I seem all fun and games all the time but deep down I'm hurting. No one cares about my life... I cry myself to sleep every night... I c-uh never mind. Any way, I just feel like shit."

"What were you going to say?" No one knows she cuts herself. Ben can't know. She is so ashamed. 

"I can't. I'm ashamed of it." 

"Rey... don't be ashamed of anything. I don't judge. I went through a lot of shit too. My parents sent me away when I was 9 because I was acting out in school. My dad was never home so I wanted attention. Well I got more attention than I needed... they sent me to live with my uncle and I met 2 kids I should of never hung out with. Hux and Phasma... their parents were fucking lunatics. Their mom was high all the time and their dad was a damn molester. I was molested by that creep for 6 years and didn't tell anybody until I was 15. I'm pretty fucked up now. Therapy didn't do shit. He gets out of jail in less than a year and I'm honestly fucking terrified."

Rey had absolutely no idea this happened to Ben. This changed her mind about showing him her cuts. They both have scars needing to be healed. She cut her wrists but it's harder to see because she did it so long ago. She did most of the cutting on her stomach and still does because everyone would see her wrists. She rolled up her sleeves and and pulled her shirt up high enough to see her stomach. Right when he looked Ben teared up and ran his fingers over the scars. She started to cry but not like earlier. It was a soft cry and she wished she wasn't alone.

"I've never felt so alone..."

"...You're not alone." 

"Neither are you..." They sat in silence for a while. It was nice to finally let everything out. 

"Can I get your number? I consider us friends so we should have each other's numbers..."

"Yeah sure." He handed her his phone and she handed hers to him. She put her number in and handed it back but Ben was staring at her phone trying not to laugh.

"What's so funny?"

"What the hell did you do to your phone? Geez it looks like you threw it into oncoming traffic."

"That's what happens when your friends piss you off..."

"Remind me not to piss you off." He laughed a little and she was a little glad the subject changed. 

"So... there is a couple of questions I want you to answer..."

"I'm all yours."

"What made you want to be a cop?"

"The whole molesting thing made me realize how dangerous the world is. I wanted to fix it."

"Interesting. What do you do to your hair? I honestly hate that you have better hair than me."

"That's a secret that I will never reveal." He laughed and Rey rolled her eyes.

"Alright fine. How do you have such a well built body?"

"These questions suck."

"Just answer."

"Working out."

"What-"

"Hey it's my turn. What is that little 3 bun thing you always wear? I've never seen anyone do that with their hair before." Her mom did her hair like that all the time when she was a kid.

"My mom."

"How flexible are you?" Time to scare him. She loves freaking people out with what she can do.

"Come here." She pulled him with her and they went to a bench that was nearby. She went into her splits and lifted one leg up onto the bench, doing and over split. Ben's jaw dropped and she laughed at that. She got up and remembered she had a Pointe shoe fitting at 7:30. It was 7:15.

"Oh my gosh! I have to be at a Pointe shoe fitting in 15 minutes!"

"A what?" 

"You know? Pointe shoes?"

"Oh those shoes you were wearing in class? Don't those hurt?"

"Oh honey... you have no idea. I have to get new ones so I had to make a meeting. You can come if you want." She really wanted him to go. No one ever went with her. Only her mom when she got her first pair when she was 12. 

"Yeah I'll go. Also it's your birthday. So after I'm making you do something fun with me."

"Fine. Lets go."

Ben's POV:

Rey's backstory was heart breaking. He wanted to hug her until all the pain went away. He told her about his whole fucked up life so she would be comfortable to open up to him. She rolled her sleeves up and lifted her shirt up and at first he was confused but when he looked closer his heart sank. She clearly still does it because the cuts on her stomach look very new. The ones on her wrist look like they've been there for years. He has never even thought about doing that to himself and he certainly would never of thought that Rey would do that to herself. He wanted her number so he could check up on her every night. He wanted her number so she could have a friend. He wanted her self harming to stop. She could also help him. He doesn't have any friends either. He's pretty lonely. 

As they were on their way to get Rey's Pointe shoes, he was trying to think of what he could do for her birthday. He remembered he had to lock NU up that night and thought of a really good idea. She could show him some more dancing. He can tell she wants to show people her talent and he wants to see it. He will bring her there then he can take her shopping for something. They walked into the store and Rey tried on tons of different shoes. They all look the same to him so why is it so hard to choose? He doesn't know anything about ballet. As Rey was doing her thing a little girl ran up to her and he thought it was the cutest thing ever.

"What are these?"

"These are Pointe shoes. You dance?"

"Yes. I want to be just like you when I grow up. I saw you dancing in those shoes just a minute ago."

"I bet you'll be amazing." The mother got mad at her daughter and apologized to Rey but she said it was fine. This time the little girl ran up to him while her mother was talking to Rey.

"Do you know her?"

"Yep."

"You should marry her. She's awesome." 

"I'm sure she is." He looked at Rey and felt something he hasn't felt in a long time. They left after Rey got her shoes and he started driving towards NU.

"Where are we going?"

"NU."

"Why?"

"You'll see." They got there and he brought her to the dance room. 

"We can get in trouble. Why are we here?"

"I want to see you dance. Plus you have to break your shoes in."

"How did you know that's what we need to do?"

"Common sense? I don't know." How did he know that? 

"Are you sure you wanna watch me dance? I'm not that good."

"Yes. And BTW you were the best dancer in that class today."

"Ya sure." She turned on a song called Missing you by Blake Mcgrath and started doing a contemporary dance. (A/N: Play this song)

"I'll do this before my ballet combo so I can warm up." He nodded and sat down. Her moves were graceful and sharp at the same time. It was beautiful. She is probably the best dancer he's ever seen. 

"Hey come here." Hell no.

"No."

"Please? For my birthday?" Of course she had to say that. Ben stood up and walked to her.

"Okay. I'm going to teach you a little bit of partnering. So... you put your hands on my waist and I put my hands on your shoulders. I'm going to push down and you're going to push up. You're just lifting me in the air."

"Do I have to do this?" She glared at him and he put his hands on her waist like she said.

"Okay. Ready? 1...2...3!" Ben did as she instructed and it was kind of fun. He set her down and she smiled.

"Wow. That was good. Okay now lets just improvise. Just go with the music."

"I can't dance."

"We'll be partnering so I'll help you. Just move with it. Let it tell your story." Rey restarted the song she was playing and gave Ben a count to 8.

"5, 6, 7, 8" They did the lift they just did and instead of stopping Rey continued by dropping to the ground. She did a roll back up and walked back to Ben falling into his arms. He pulled her closer and she spun out of his arms running and did a leap falling to the ground again. They continued dancing to the song and he felt like he didn't have to worry about anything ever again. He had no idea what he was doing but he also did at the same time. The song finished and Rey looked at him with a surprised face. Suddenly they heard someone clapping. It was the dance teacher.

"Wow you two. I'm supposed to be mad that you're in here but that was beautiful. How can I be mad now?" Rey answered first.

"Thank you. And sorry. It's my fault. He was just locking up and I insisted we come in here."

"Oh its officer Solo. I'm impressed. Well I'll only let you two get away with this if you perform it in my class tomorrow." Ben was fucking terrified but he didn't want to say no. Rey was looking really hopeful right now. 

"I'm fine with that."

"Really Ben?"

"Really." The teacher nodded and left the room. 

"Ben... that was... how did you do that?"

"I don't know." He has no idea how the hell he did it. 

"Lets go." 

"I never got to see your ballet-"

"You can watch me tomorrow."

"I was thinking about taking you shopping tonight for your birthday."

"Ben no. You don't have to do that."

"Too bad. I am. Lets go."

\---

Ben ended up buying Rey a bunch of new clothes and some new leotards for ballet. She kept telling him she could buy it herself but Ben wasn't taking no for an answer. He dropped her off at her car and went home. He couldn't wait for tomorrow. Mostly because it's the last day of working for the week tomorrow and he'll finally have a break. He decided he would text Rey to make sure she made it home safe. 

Ben: Did you make it home okay?

Rey: Yeah. Thank you for tonight :)

Ben: You doing okay?

Rey: I'm a lot better than I was. This was one of the best birthdays I've had in a while. 

Ben: I'm glad.

Rey: Really, thank you for everything. 

Ben: Promise me something?

Rey: Depends on what...

Ben: Stay the way you are. Others might not like it but I do. There aren't a lot of people that are themselves. I'm glad you're one of those few. Also, promise me you'll stop cutting...

Rey: I promise.

Rey's POV:

Rey was so grateful that Ben hung out with her tonight. She had a lot of fun with him. Ben was also a natural at dancing. At first he just kind of stood there but when Rey encouraged him a bit he started to move to the music. He was really good for someone who has never danced before. He was really good at partnering so she's sure he would be good dancing alone. She wonders what Ben's hobbies and traits are. When she got home she put all the shopping bags down and went to take a shower. Ben bought her way too much and she feels bad about it. She promised Ben she would stay herself and that she would stop cutting herself. She will definitely keep that first promise but she isn't so sure about the second promise. It's not that she doesn't want to but it might be hard to stop. She will do her best. 

Rey woke up the next morning feeling nervous and she remembered her and Ben have to dance in front of the whole class. If it were a memorized dance then she would be fine but it's not. They are going to improvise. Lets hope Ben does just as good as yesterday. She got ready and got to school a little late so she ran through the school to get to class. She was in a hurry and wasn't looking where she was going so she ran into what felt like a wall. Nope. It was Ben. She almost fell but he grabbed her waist and pulled her up against him. They stared at each other for what felt like hours and something stirred inside her. She suddenly had an urge to kiss him. Where did that thought come from? The tension was getting unbearable so Rey pulled away. 

"Uh sorry about that. I'm going to be late for class so I'll see you later. I don't know when we're performing for the class but I'll find you when I do." He nodded and she walked away quickly. 

\---

"Ben!" He turned around and Rey caught up with him.

"The teacher said to be in the class at 11."

"Okay. Why are we doing this again?"

"So we don't get in trouble. The teacher will probably get you in trouble by telling your boss and she will probably get me in trouble with the administration."

"Right. See you at 11." Rey smiled and headed back to class after her 10 minute break. She put on her new Pointe shoes and started breaking them in before class. Once warm ups began Ben walked in and started talking to the teacher. He looked so good in his uniform. When left she had to refocus. He was distracting her and that isn't good. He came back about an hour later in his regular clothes and sat down in a chair that the teacher handed him. Rey is nervous, and it's not because she is about to dance in front of the class with someone who has never danced in their life. It's because Ben is watching her. Every move she makes he will see.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **I'm a dancer so I know a lot of dancing terms. In this chapter there are going to be many dance moves and if you get confused or know nothing about dancing, just look them up :)**

Rey's POV:

Rey danced better than she ever has when Ben watched her and she isn't sure why. Rey did the combo across the floor trying to forget everything on her mind. She let everything go and danced. She did the final arabesque and went to walk off to practice until her turn again but the teacher stopped the music and told Rey to go to her. Rey did as she was told, knowing she was about to be corrected on her technique.

"That was beautiful. You have a very high arabesque so I want you to do attitude to make it more challenging. Will you repeat the combo?"

"Yes of course." Rey felt a little bit of pride especially since the teacher hasn't done this with anyone before.

"Ladies, watch how well Rey turns out when she turns and how softly she lands. Hopefully this teaches you how it should look." She started the music again and Rey prepared to do the combo again, this time ending with an attitude in arabesque. All attention was on Rey and she'd be lying if she said it didn't scare her. To make things even scarier, she remembered Ben is there. She did the combo again and everyone clapped except for 3 girls. She didn't care until she noticed the looks they were giving her. She also noticed them whispering to each other then giggling. If they are acting like this now, how will they act when she dances with Ben? She studied them and realized one of them was the girl that was asking Ben out yesterday. Why does everything lead back to Ben? Rey looked at the clock and it was 2 minutes until 11 so the teacher dismissed her to get her pointe shoes off and get ready.

"You all can sit down if you'd like. We have a dance that will be performed for us by Rey and surprisingly officer Solo. I came across them dancing last night and I wanted everyone to see how well they connect when they dance. You two can begin when you're ready." Rey just stayed in the leotard she was wearing instead of changing because that would be a waste. She would have to change back right after. She looked at Ben and he nodded. Rey started the song they danced to last night and quickly whispered to Ben to start with the lift she taught him. Throughout the song she would glance over to the other dancers and see a shocked look on their faces. Every time she would press up against Ben she would suddenly get really excited. Her feelings are starting to get more confusing than ever.

She thinks Ben is hot, sweet, caring, daring, selfless, mysterious, and so much more. Every time she sees him she smiles and when she is close to him she gets nervously excited. Her mind is constantly on him. She doesn't know if this is just infatuation for him or feelings. She's never in her life ever been this confused when it came to a guy. Rey is leaning more toward infatuation because she has only known Ben for 5 days. Also, she doesn't even know how old he is. She actually barely knows anything about him. Maybe that should change.

The song ended while Ben and Rey ended their dance, that they literally just made up, by pressing up against each other. Ben had his hands on her lower back while Rey had hers on his chest. They naturally just came into this position and they just stared at each other for a minute. Reality came back when everyone clapped. She quickly pulled away blushing because she just realized how close they were. The teacher dismissed the class an hour early and Rey was grateful for that. She needs to be alone and sort out her thoughts. But of course someone had to ruin it and that someone was that girl who was basically flirting with Ben yesterday.

"Wow Rey. What did you have to do to get him to do that for you?"

"Nothing. We're friends so it was pretty easy."

"Yeah sure. I'm almost positive you had to sleep with him to get him to do that." She was starting to piss Rey off.

"Well you're wrong... but I bet that's what you would of had to do, which by the way he isn't interested." She rolled her eyes and looked ready to slap Rey.

"Whatever. I'm Olivia by the way so remember that. I'm one of the best dancers here so if you need help, I will think about helping you." Rey didn't want to play nice anymore.

"Oh really... then why was I the one that just performed that dance? Oh and don't forget that the teacher used me to demonstrate 'how it should look'." Olivia growled and stormed off. Rey won't let this Olivia girl intimidate her.

Every time Rey tried to leave someone would come up to her and say good job or ask questions, which is nice but Rey is getting really overwhelmed and whenever this happens it leads to panic attacks. It was suffocating when a lot of people came up to her and talked to her. Rey felt herself begin to panic and she didn't know what to do. She started breathing harder and felt like she couldn't breathe. She managed to get out of the classroom but she had to sit down and calm down. Rey knelled down in the hall and covered her head. For some reason this always calmed her down but it isn't working this time. She felt someone tap her shoulder and she was sick of people complimenting her today.

"What?" She sounded harsher than she wanted to sound but she doesn't care, especially since she's is starting to have a panic attack.

"It's just me. You doing okay?" It was Ben and now she felt guilty for being so harsh.

"Clearly I'm not. Sorry I didn't know it was you." Rey sat down all the way and closed her eyes breathing slowly. Her panic attacks are awful. She cries and struggles to breathe and it takes hours to stop. She doesn't need that right now.

"What's going on?" He sat down next to Rey with a concerned look on his face.

"I'm getting overwhelmed. All those damn girls are giving me too much attention and it's freaking me out. I had to get out here before I had a panic attack."

"Do you need me to do anything?" She really is so grateful that someone finally cares about her. Yeah Finn and Poe used to and Maz still does, but Ben is the first person she's connected with and the first person who sincerely wants to know whats going on. Of course her family cared about her but she doesn't have any more family.

"I don't know. My mind is on panic mode so I'm not thinking straight." Ben got up and went back into the classroom but came back after a few minutes with his and Rey's stuff. When he sat back down again he rested his hand on her leg. It was meant to calm her but she got really excited for no reason. What is this guy doing to her?

"I have panic attacks often so I hope what helps me will help you." Rey looked at Ben as he said that. He handed her water bottle to her along with 2 pills.

"It's medicine that helps with panic attacks. It's not prescription so don't worry about that. Sometimes the medicine doesn't work so I go for a run and that helps." Rey nodded and took the pills.

"How often do you have panic attacks?" Rey was curious if he had them as much as she did.

"About twice a week and if I'm lucky only once a week. They aren't huge though, they're pretty minor panic attacks. I haven't had one this week yet so it's coming. I'm sure of it."

"Glad I'm not the only one. Except mine are really really bad."

"How often does it happen for you?"

"I don't even know. Whenever all the focus is on me or I'm in big groups of people I panic. I also panic when bad stuff happens or just for no reason at all. I can't breathe and it goes on for hours and hours."

"Hmm... well when it happens talk to me because talking usually helps too. It gets your mind off of what's happening. Go for runs to or even buy the medication I just gave you."

"Thanks."

"Also, you can text or call me whenever. If your having a panic attack, if you just need someone to talk to, if you're having a bad day, or if you're having thoughts of hurting yourself."

"I would like that."

Ben's POV:

The day was going pretty good for Ben. He isn't supposed to be at NU today but he thought he should since he was blackmailed into dancing with Rey in front of the class. After what Rey said yesterday about him being a hot police officer, he's starting to really notice the looks girls give him. It also clearly bothers Rey so he'll turn down any girl who makes a move. Would he turn down Rey? He's also been thinking about this. Yesterday Ben said he wasn't interested in college kids. Rey had also said that they are adults not kids. What he said must of confused her because it confused him. He is realizing what he meant as he is walking through NU. He isn't interested in college kids but he's interested in adults, which Rey is an adult. Why did he say what he said if he didn't even know what he meant?

So no. He wouldn't turn down Rey. But he's sure she wouldn't make a move anyway. She doesn't even feel that way towards him. Ben pushed these thoughts away and continued walking through the school until someone slammed into him. He knows it was Rey without even looking. How? He has no idea. He meant to just pull her up and just go on with his day, but he pulled too hard. He didn't want her to fall so he used as much force as he could, which was too much. He pulled her right up against him and they both froze. He saw her look at his lips and he wanted to know what she was thinking so bad. He was a little disappointed when she pulled away but then again, they had to pull apart at some point.

Rey was back to her normal self today and he was glad. What he isn't glad about is that Rey is on his mind non stop. It's distracting him from things he should be doing. Like his job. He went to Rey's class to speak to the teacher to see if he can watch until him and Rey have to dance. He had to change first so that's what he did and watched Rey's class. He watched Rey the entire time. Every time he would look at another dancer, Rey would always catch his attention. He finally gave up on watching other dancers and just watched Rey. She is way more intriguing than the others.

Ben would be lying if he said Rey wasn't attractive. Hell she is so damn pretty and fit. With what dancers wear, he can see the muscles in her legs very easily. He can even see them when she's wearing normal clothes. Her appearance isn't the only thing that's attractive. It's also her personality. She is so kind and funny. She is also a very positive person even if she's feeling like shit. As much as he hates to admit it, she turns him on a little bit when she dances. He isn't quite sure what it is. It's probably what she wears. He's so fucked up and he suddenly felt guilty for thinking this. He can't be like Snoke. He can't be the same creepy pervert.

\---

Doing the dance with Rey was once again unbelievable. How does he do that? He had to use all his power not to laugh at the looks everyone was giving him. Some were completely shocked and some were disgusted. He knew almost immediately that the disgust was because it was with Rey. Ben was about to leave when he saw Rey. She looked stressed and left the class so he followed her. He found out it was because she has panic attacks often and there's another thing he could relate to. He was going to get her stuff and his stuff but he also had another idea in mind. He went to the teacher, who goes by the name of Lizzy, and asked if Rey could be excused from her classes for the rest of the day. Lizzy was hesitant at first but when Ben explained what was going on she finally said yes. As Ben went to leave the class he was hearing all the girls talking about asking him out and how hot he is.

"I'm not interested in any of you so don't even bother." He had to make that comment as he left and heard the gasps before the door shut behind him.

\---

"I would like that." Ben stood back up and pulled Rey up too.

"I got you excused for the rest of the day so you can do whatever you want."

"Thanks. Hmm... can I follow you while you work?" She seemed excited so as strange as the request was, he couldn't say no.

"Sure. Why though?"

"I want to learn more about you. So, I can watch you work and talk to you. You already know everything about me so know its my turn to know everything about you."

"You can't know everything about me but I'll let you learn a majority of it." He has secrets he won't reveal. Like how he might have feelings for Rey. Oh and that he's scared of the dark. Yeah, he doesn't tell anyone about that, so Rey shouldn't know either. They started walking to his car as Rey started asking questions.

"What are you good at?"

"I'm pretty good at fighting and singing. Other than that I don't do much."

"Well you workout a lot so... wait. You sing?!" Shit.

"Uh yeah."

"Sing a song for me!"

"I will later. Not now." He has to prepare himself for that because he gets nervous about singing in front of people.

"I'm going to remember that so you better not make an excuse next time." Ben smirked and opened the car door for Rey.


	5. Chapter 5

Rey's POV:

1 month later

Rey thought her "infatuation" of Ben would be gone by now. It's actually gotten worse. She realized it is feelings for Ben. He can't know that though because she doesn't want to ruin their friendship. Ben and Rey have been getting closer over the past month. They hang out almost everyday. Rey has also kept her promise and stopped cutting. She's proud of herself and she doesn't think she could of done it without Ben. Olivia is constantly bullying Rey but Ben always reminds her that she's just jealous. Rey hasn't spoken to Finn or Poe either and it makes her really sad. Rey is glad to say that she's made 2 new friends named Rose and Jyn. She is kind of friends with some band girl named Phasma but only because they both find the band teacher, Professor Hux, extremely annoying. 

Tryouts for the Nutcracker were coming up and Rey was so excited. She was going to try out for one of the leads and she's really hoping to get either Clara or Sugar plum fairy. Any lead would be fantastic but she would be even more excited if she got one of those 2. Today was Saturday and Rey was excited that the school day was almost over. She can't wait to relax all day tomorrow, and most likely hang out with Ben. She got a text, on her still broken phone because she can't afford to fix it, from Jyn. 

Jyn: Hey Rose and I are going to a party tonight. Wanna come?

Rey: Will there be drinking? If so then no.

Jyn: aw come on Rey... why not?

Rey: Do I have to remind you that you and Rose are 19 and I'm 20? 

Jyn: So????

Rey: Bennnnn. My best friend is a cop. If he finds out he will kill me.

Jyn: He doesn't have to know...

Rey: Ugh fine.

Jyn: Yay! I'll pick you up at 9 pm.

Rey knows she shouldn't do this. Rey has been drunk before but now that she has a best friend that's a cop, she has to be careful. He probably wouldn't arrest Rey right? Hopefully... and here comes the annoying red head, Professor Hux. 

"Miss Kenobi may I see you in my class for a minute?"

"May I ask why?" Rey was trying to be polite and that was really hard to do. 

"I need to discuss something with you. It's about Nutcracker." 

"Okay..." Rey was a little suspicious but she didn't question the teacher for too long and followed him to his class. Rey walked in and stood there as Hux shut and locked the door. That scared her a little bit. 

"So... Miss Kenobi... how have you been?" He walked closer to Rey and she got a little nervous. Teachers always left their door open.

"Good. You?" 

"Not too good. I'd probably be better if you'd stay here for a bit..." Rey knows exactly what he's trying to do and it won't work.

"Excuse me? Aren't we supposed to be discussing-" He covered Rey's mouth and got really close. How can she get out of this class? He removed his hand and pushed her up against the wall.

"Sir this is very inappropriate."

"No it's not. I'm not your teacher so it doesn't matter." Rey was scared he was going to kiss her. She hasn't had her first kiss yet and she definitely doesn't want it with Professor Hux. He started to pull her leotard straps down and Rey used that time to kick him in the stomach. He fell to the ground and she ran out of the class as fast as she could. She felt her first panic attack in a month begin and she forgot how they felt. She stopped running and hid in a small hallway. She kept pacing and felt like she couldn't breathe. She decided to text Ben because there is no way she is getting home like this. By the time Ben got to Rey, her panic attack had started and she wasn't calming down. 

"Rey you need to breathe."

"I am!" She is getting frustrated. 

"Look at me. Count to 10 as you're breathing in." Rey did so and it helped a little bit. Ben finally managed to calm her down enough to get her in her car. He sat in the passenger seat until she completely calmed down. 

"What happened?"

"Nothing." She doesn't want to get Hux in trouble. 

"Something must of happened. You haven't had a panic attack in a while."

"I'll get the person in trouble."

"Person?" He sounded a little confused and angry at the same time. Should she tell him the truth? 

"Yes a person but I'm not saying who." 

"Just tell me what happened. I don't care who was involved with this." Rey had to be careful with what she said. If she didn't want Hux getting in trouble then she has to be as vague as possible. Although she doesn't like Professor Hux, he still doesn't deserve to lose his job. 

"Someone... asked me to talk to them about nutcracker stuff. This someone got really really close and wasn't being appropriate at all so I kicked him and ran off."

"So it's a he." Damn it.

"What was he doing?"

"As I said, he got really close... and I thought he was going to kiss me and he started pulling at my leotard straps... so I kicked him and now I'm here. If he would of kissed me I would be so fucking angry because it would of been my first kiss." She saw Ben clench his fists and he looked really pissed off. He finally spoke up after a while and Rey realized she calmed down all the way. 

"Who was it Rey? You have to tell me."

"I don't have to tell you anything. I can't ruin his career-" Shit. Another slip up. She needs to keep her mouth shut. Ben looked at Rey obviously even more angry now and left the car. Did she piss him off by not telling him who did it? Or is he mad at the person? Rey leaned her head against the steering wheel and groaned. She got herself together and headed home. She is off work tonight so she has nothing to do until the party starts. She decided to text Ben to make sure he isn't mad at her. 

Rey: Are you mad at me?

Ben: No... why would I be mad at you???

Rey: IDK. You seemed mad at me earlier when you left.

Ben: Oh I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at the person who bothered you. I am annoyed with you though because you won't tell me who this person is. 

Rey: Sorry.

Ben: Don't be. I'll find out sooner or later. I am a cop you know so I can always find a way. 

Rey: Oh really I totally didn't know you were a cop :o

Ben: Ha ha... 

Rey: I'll talk to you later. I'm meeting up with Jyn and Rose.

Ben: Have fun. 

It won't be fun if Ben finds out she is going to a party. She put on her best dress, which was pretty tight with sequins. She also did her makeup and curled her hair. She was excited to finally have a care free night. Jyn called Rey when her and Rose arrived to pick her up. They all headed to whatever party this was and Rey saw 2 familiar looking guys. She looked even closer and couldn't figure out why they looked so damn familiar. They looked at her and started to walk towards her.

"Oh hey! It's you!" Who are these guys?

"Do I know you?"

"It's us. From a little while back when you were walking somewhere and we decided to talk to you. But we got interrupted by some guy." Rey thought hard and remembered the night of the Swan Lake ballet. She surprisingly didn't panic. She is surrounded by tons of people so they can't do anything. 

"Right." She shoved past them and got something to drink. As she did though, she saw Poe and Finn. Great. Just great. Of course they would be here. Rey had her first drink then her second. Anything to make her forget about her ex- best friends.

\---

It was about 1 am and Rey was completely wasted. She was currently with Jyn and Rose dancing around and Rey pulled out her phone to check the time. She saw a text from someone and she couldn't tell who. She was that drunk. 

Someone: Goodnight. 12:03 

Rey: Idk hoo this ifs butt nighty night..;.

Someone: What the hell is wrong with you? Are you on drugs?

Rey: maaaaybefhh.Fuuck She was having such a hard time typing to whoever she's texting. 

Someone: Where the hell are you right now?

Rey: A partayyyyy. Yu shood come,m..

Someone: Rey I'm going to kill you next time I see you. 

Rey: Yu woulnt dareeee. Rey put her phone away and started dancing with those two guys from earlier. If she wasn't so drunk she would of gotten away from them quickly. If Ben ever found out about this she would be in so much trouble. 

Ben's POV:

His "feelings" for Rey got even stronger as the month went by. He wanted her so badly and in so many ways. He wanted to be with her. He wanted to be her first kiss, boyfriend, and date. He even wanted to be Rey's first "time". He finally accepted these feelings towards Rey and that made things even harder. Literally... if you know what I mean... He has to constantly fight the urge to kiss her and to make her his. He has it badddd. 

Ben was still pretty angry with the fact that someone assaulted her. Why won't she tell him the name of the person? He knows that this person is a guy and that it has something to do with his career. It could be any guy. A teacher, a student, or even some random guy on the street. He is thinking it's a teacher because if it affects their career, then it has to be a teacher. That thought made him sick. He couldn't sleep at all that night. Especially since Rey was texting him at 1 am. All he did was say goodnight and now she is talking a bunch of crap. He is going to kill her. He can tell she's drunk by the way she is spelling and by what she is saying.

Rey: Dancins funnn. espesiallluy with thes guys. 

Ben: Jyn and Rose?

Rey: No silly'/ guys. Idk who they are but they cutee, Ben instantly felt jealous 

Ben: Really...

Rey: They defnetly not asdf cute as my bes friend. 

Ben: Who's your best friend?

Rey: His name is Byn. Bun. ughhhh benn. Why da fuck cant I spell/>

Ben: Cause you're drunk dumb ass. 

Rey: anway,,, my cute best friennd bun. Actuuly no. HOT as fuck best frfiend. That smexy dude will think i insane if he seas this. 

Ben: Do you know who you're talking to?

Rey: nope;.' 

Ben: Well... have fun looking through your texts tomorrow. Lol

Rey: You funn:y

Ben was laughing at the whole situation even though he shouldn't be. He should be mad. She is underage drinking. He found her funny though. What will her reaction be when she sees she was texting Ben the whole time? He is also going to remember her calling him Bun so he can tease her about it. He finally fell asleep around 3 am but before he could even sleep 30 minutes, someone called him. It was Rey so he answered it. 

"Hello?"

"Hey Ben right?" It wasn't Rey's voice but it was her phone that called him.

"Yeah... who's this?"

"Jyn. Rose and I are pretty drunk and can't drive so Rey might need your assistance. We aren't as drunk as her though. She is- Rey stop! Sorry. We would drive her home but you know, can't drive when you're drunk."

"First of all, none of you should be drinking. You guys are damn lucky I'm Rey's friend. Second of all, how are you guys getting home?" 

"Yeah yeah. We're just staying here but we want Rey home cause she could easily be taken advantage of."

"I'm going to talk to all 3 of you tomorrow. Where are you guys at?" Jyn told him where and Ben quickly put a shirt on and straightened his hair out. If Rey was 21, this would be different, but she's not. She could get into a lot of trouble. He got to the party and all the attention was on him for a second but then everyone got back to their partying. He should just stop the party but he had to take care of Rey. He easily found her and holy shit she was hot. He had to calm himself down before he got to Rey. He pulled her out of the crowd as she stumbled and giggled the whole way out of the house. 

"Damn it Rey. Why the hell did you drink so much?" 

"Life sucks sometimes." She sighed and stumbled some more until they made it back to his car. 

"Ben is gonna kill me." her eyes were closed and she was leaning against the window as he drove away. 

"Oh you have no idea..." How has she still not noticed that it's him? She's going to have a lovely hangover tomorrow. He got to her apartment and helped her inside as she stumbled some more. He knows where her room is because they hangout here sometimes, but she's never been to his apartment. She wants to, but Ben doesn't want her to until he actually cleans it for once. He had to start carrying Rey because she is going to fall from being so drunk. He laid her down in her bed and took her shoes off. 

"Shit Rey why did you do this to yourself?" He wasn't expecting an answer. It was more of a rhetorical question but he still got an answer. 

"Gotta get out of my life somehow." She slurred a little but he understood. He thought she was doing okay. Maybe she isn't. That's a discussion for tomorrow. 

"You remind me of Ben. You're just as sweet as he is." He thought of his twin brother when she said this. He never thinks or talks about his twin because of a lot of reasons. They were so close when they were little, but when Ben was sent away, he never saw his brother again. When Ben came back, his parents told him that he left and never came back. When Ben turned 20, he finally came home and explained everything. He was a completely different person. He changed his name to Kylo Ren for some stupid reason. He wears all black, kind of like Ben, and he is a famous fighter in something called "First Order." He has no idea what that is and Kylo never explained. Ben hasn't seen Kylo in years. What would Rey think of him? 

Ben left Rey's room and decided to stay the whole night in the living room because he doesn't want Rey waking up alone. When she wakes up, he's going to be asking a lot of questions.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Mentions of self harm towards the end of this chapter. It's not too bad though.**

Rey's POV:

Rey woke up in her bed with one of the worst headaches she's ever had. She hardly remembers anything from last night. She vaguely remembers dancing with some random people and drinking to forget about Poe and Finn. How did she get home? It must of been Jyn and Rose. She slowly got up and felt like she was about to throw up but she ignored it. Rey was looking for her phone and couldn't find it anywhere so she went out of her room to look for it. She saw someone sitting in her living room but she didn't worry about it. Jyn and Rose probably stayed the night here. Rey probably did a lot that she doesn't remember so she doesn't mind. She didn't until she saw that it was Ben.

"Ben what are you doing here?" He got up quickly and walked to Rey in 3 quick strides.

"The question you should be asking is what were you doing at that party last night?" He didn't look mad but he didn't look happy either. Rey didn't answer and sat down on the couch because standing wasn't helping her headache at all.

"Did you bring me home?"

"Yes. Jyn and Rose stayed at the party but they told me to get you home. You were an absolute mess last night." This is exactly what Rey didn't want to happen.

"I can't remember anything." Rey was thinking really hard and remembered a little more. She remembers texting someone and a tall guy take her out of the house. That must of been Ben. She kind of remembers getting in Ben's car and going in her house but that's all. Maybe she'll remember the rest later.

"Rey, you're lucky I'm your friend. You could get in trouble so I'll keep this between us but as a friend I was really worried. You could have gotten yourself killed or taken advantage of."

"Killed?"

"Yeah killed. You were so fucking drunk I wouldn't be surprised if you walked in front of a car." Rey never wanted this to happen. Ben is making her feel worse about the whole situation.

"I'm sorry. Just sometimes I-ugh." Rey was frustrated because she didn't know how to explain why she got so drunk. She put her head between her legs mostly because of her headache and because of her frustration.

"Say what you need to say. I'm here and I'm listening." Rey sat back up and looked anywhere but at Ben. She was too ashamed.

"I saw Poe and Finn and just seeing them made me want to forget about everything. I was tired of being hurt over them and I'm tired of stress. Drinking was like an escape for me I guess. I also didn't want you to know because you would be doing exactly what you're doing right now and I feel so fucking stupid." Ben nodded and got Rey a glass of water.

"You know where my phone and purse is?"

"Yeah I have your phone but your purse is in my car." He handed Rey her phone and she saw that it was 1 in the afternoon. Holy shit it's late.

"What did I say to you last night when you brought me home?"

"Something about how I remind you of your friend Ben and that Ben would kill you. I'm pretty sure you had no idea it was me the whole time. Especially when you texted- never mind. You can see that for yourself." He smirked and looked away. Rey looked through her texts last night and realized she texted Ben the whole night she was at the party. He probably wouldn't even know if she never would of texted him. Everything she said was stuff she would never say to Ben if she's sober. Now she wants to hide from Ben. Good thing she didn't say anything about her feelings for him. That would of been worse than getting in trouble with Ben. She looked at Ben and wanted to run away and hide in her room.

"Umm Ben... this never happened... okay?"

"It's not Ben it's Bun." He looked like he was about to laugh but Rey just glared at him.

"Fuck you Bun." Now he's laughing and Rey was still glaring at him. This is not funny.

"With the state you were in last night you probably would of tried." Rey was ready to slap him. But now she's ready to also throw up. Between the headache and the embarrassment, she is going to vomit. She ran out of the living room and into the bathroom. She heard Ben's laughing stop and saw him sit next to her in the bathroom. He held her hair back as she threw up and got her another glass of water when she was done. Why is he so nice?

\---

Ben slammed her up against the wall and pinned her hands above her head. They were kissing roughly and he started to thrust against her body. He began to kiss Rey's neck as he started pulling her shirt off.

Rey woke up suddenly and realized it was just a dream and sadly not real life. She was breathing heavy and Ben looked over at her.

"You okay? Bad dream?"

"I guess you could say that..." He shrugged and continued watching the movie. It's almost midnight and Ben is still at Rey's apartment. They've been watching movies all day and eating way more snacks than they should. Her headache is finally gone and Rey remembered almost everything from the party. She isn't exactly excited for tomorrow. She is going to see Hux and Olivia but Rey can handle it.

"I should get home. We both need to get to bed." Ben got up and got ready to leave as Rey turned the TV off. She walked over to Ben and she didn't want him to leave but he had to.

"Need a hug?" Rey nodded and he hugged her tightly, covering her whole body. His hugs are the best because he is a giant compared to Rey and when he hugs her she's never felt so safe.

"How about I pick you up tomorrow and we can get coffee before we head to NU. I'm working there tomorrow." He was still hugging her as he said this and she nodded. Her mind was still on the dream she just had. She has never thought about that before and now that's all she might think about. What would of happened if she didn't wake up so soon?

"Is something bothering you?" Ben always notices tiny details.

"No. I'm just thinking."

"About what?"

"A dream I just had..." She'll tell him it was a dream but she isn't telling him what it was about.

"Was it a good or bad dream?"

"Good... it was a really good dream... but I woke up before I could see the end of it."

"What happened?" What does she say? She's definitely not saying 'Oh just a dream of you kissing me and taking my shirt off. No big deal'.

"uh... I went to... Disneyland. Yeah Disneyland." Great job Rey. That was so subtle. Not. Ben pulled away and they said their goodbyes. She's not sure what she's more excited about. Getting coffee with Ben tomorrow, or going to sleep and possibly having the dream again.

\---

Rey got coffee with Ben and as they drove to the school, she kept thinking about her dream. She did end up having a similar dream but instead of it ended in the middle of it, she got to dream it all. She is so glad people can't read minds. If Ben was able to read hers, she'd die from embarrassment. Once they got to NU, Rey quickly changed and she didn't realize Ben was waiting for her.

"I'm going to walk you to your class. Just to be safe." Rey nodded and they both saw Hux walk up.

"Hey Ben. Long time no see." What?

"Hi Hux. Geez last time I saw you was like almost 10 years ago." Rey is so confused and Ben noticed that.

"This used to be my friend. His dad is the one in jail..." Rey finally understood. Hux was the friend of Ben's that was also abused.

"Anyways, Rey, I'd like to speak to you for a moment. It's important." She nodded and she felt herself start to shake. Ben wouldn't believe her even if she told him it was Hux that assaulted her. Why would he? She said bye to Ben and wished she could tell him. They got to Hux's class and he went from formal and positive to a monster the second they walked through the door. He locked his door and pushed Rey up against the wall hard. It knocked the breath out of her. He put his hand on Rey's throat threatening to choke her.

"You're lucky I don't punish you for Saturday's stunt. Just do as I say and I won't hurt you." Rey tried to fight back but he was too strong. She spit on him and that made him angry. He quickly turned Rey around and shoved her against the wall again. Thank goodness someone knocked on the door. Hux pulled away quickly and Rey left the room just as quickly. She can't tell Ben. He won't believe her.

\---

This day was the worst day she's had in a while. Hux had repeatedly gotten her alone but always failed before he could get what he wanted. Olivia did not only treat her like shit today, but she started a rumor that Rey hooked up with Professor Hux. Apparently she's seen Rey with Hux all day. If people take this rumor seriously, Hux and Rey will both get in trouble. The things Olivia was saying was starting to get to her. No one loves Rey. No one would care if she was gone. Maybe Ben would but other than that no one would. Rey was alone and she was thinking of doing something before she headed to work. She was so tempted to hurt herself again. After all, she deserves the pain. Rey finally gave in and got out the blades she hasn't used in weeks. She promised Ben she wouldn't do this. He would be disappointed but she doesn't care anymore. She was going to cut her stomach but she wanted to do this quickly so she wouldn't be late for work. She cut her wrists instead because it's easier. She'll just wear a long sleeve shirt from now on.

Ben's POV:

Sunday was not how he wanted it to go, but he isn't complaining. He was planning on giving Rey a talk about how she shouldn't drink then leave. After, he would give the same talk to her friends. That never happened though. He decided it would be better to be with Rey the whole day. She probably needs someone right now. Who else is going to take care of Rey? Later that night Rey was asleep and when she woke up she was acting strange. Whatever she dreamed about is really affecting her. The next day he was really worried about Rey. She was acting really weird. She is constantly talking to Hux and Olivia. Why those 2?

He was planning on heading over to Maz's Diner to talk to Rey and make sure she is doing okay once he's off work. Before he left though, Olivia walked up to him.

"Hey Professor Solo we have a serious question."

"Yes?"

"Is it illegal for a student to hook up with a teacher that isn't their teacher?"

"No but it isn't exactly appropriate. Why?"

"Oh good. Rey and Hux hooked up and I don't want them in trouble so I thought I'd check with you." Ben was actually shocked. So shocked his jaw dropped. Why would Rey do that? Well the question he should be asking is would Rey actually do that? Is that's whats bothering Rey? He needs to find out. He got to the diner and asked Maz if he could take Rey for a walk. Maz luckily said yes and got Rey to go with him. They were walking through the park and Rey was wearing a sweatshirt in 80 degree weather.

"How are you not dying of heat in that?"

"I don't know."

"Are you wearing a shirt under it? If so take your sweatshirt off. You're gonna have a fucking heat stroke."

"Yes I have a shirt under this but I don't want to take it off. I'm fine."

"Whatever. Don't blame me when you faint and end up dying."

"I honestly wouldn't mind." He stopped and looked at Rey. Rey was actually being serious. That's when he got suspicious. Sweatshirt in the heat... not caring if she died... she's hiding something. He'll find out later.

"So I heard you hooked up with Professor Hux." Now it was Rey's turn to stop.

"You actually believe that?!" She wasn't yelling but she was close to it.

"No I'm just-"

"Fucking Olivia! She made this damn rumor that I hooked up with him. Not true by the way." She started to walk away from him and he probably should of approached this differently. He caught back up with her and grabbed onto her arm to stop her. She flinched at the contact. What is going on with her?

"Sorry. I sound like an asshole right now. I didn't think it was true. It's unlike you."

"I'm tired of Olivia and her crap."

"You want to go home? I'll keep you company."

"Yeah but what about my job?"

"I'll take care of it." Ben really wanted to figure out what was going on with Rey. She is hiding stuff from him and he doesn't like it.

\---

Back at Rey's apartment she kept hiding her arms and when she washed her hands she awkwardly washed them leaving her sleeves where they are. Ben has had it with her weird behavior. He is starting to figure out why she's hiding her arms but he needs to make sure he's right.

"Rey what's wrong?" They were standing up in Rey's room because she was cleaning as they were talking. He saw blades on her dresser and he's had it with trying to casually find out what was wrong.

"Nothing." He walked up to her and made her face him. He grabbed onto her arms as she tried to pull away but he's so much stronger. He roughly rolled her sleeves up and looked at her wrists. Just as he suspected, there were cuts. Not just cuts, fresh ones. She just did this today. He didn't know what to do. He had so many emotions running through him right now. Anger, disappointment, sadness, and worry.

"Why? Rey, why? You promised me you would stop. You were doing so well. I don't know what I can do to take away your pain...you have to tell me what's wrong. I want to help you Rey... I can't stand seeing you like this." He hasn't thought of his feelings for Rey in a couple of days because of everything that's happened. He cares for her and wants her pain to stop. He needs to be more strict with her if he wants this to stop.

"Give them to me." He saw the shame as Rey looked down.

"Give what-"

"Give them to me. You know what I'm talking about." She got the blades and handed them to him. He will get rid of them but right now he needs to get Rey to open up so he can help.

"Look at me." As she did she started to cry.

"Rey please... tell me whats wrong..."

"I'm tired Ben... no one loves me and no one would give a crap if I was gone... Olivia finally got to me today. And Professor Hux... he... he's the one that harassed me. He still is and I've been lucky enough to get away from him before he could get too far." Is Ben that dumb? How was he so stupid? It's so clear that Hux did this. Why else would he constantly "talk" to Rey?

"Why didn't you tell me this?"

"I didn't want you to be disappointed. You tell me not to listen to Olivia but it's easier said than done. And... I didn't think you would believe me if I told you it was Hux that harassed me. I also didn't want to ruin his career."

"Why'd you cut yourself again? You promised."

"I deserve it...simple."

"No you don't. When you do this it hurts me Rey. I'm also sure it hurts your family."

"I don't have a fami-"

"Yes you do. They may be dead but they still see everything you do. I'm your family too. Including Jyn and Rose." She was silent and crying a little bit.

"Rey...I'll get the Hux and Olivia problem solved."

"Ben don't get Hux fired. He shouldn't lose his job. Please. I'd feel so guilty."

"Fine but I'm staying with you at all times."

"How are you planning on solving the Olivia problem?"

"I'll figure it out." Rey nodded and hugged him. They stayed in the hug for a while and Ben pulled away to look at her. She looked beautiful even in this sad moment. Every time they are this close he has to fight an urge to kiss her and he isn't sure if he can control himself anymore. He can't kiss her... not now... but they're so close. His control is barely hanging on.

"Ben... I know you care about me... but sometimes I wish more people did... and I wish someone could love me." How can he show her that he cares about her immensely. It might even be love. Love seems too early but he thinks that's what it is. Love is an intense feeling or deep affection. That's the exact definition.

"Rey... I... I have to tell you something. How do I say this? Umm... let me just show you." And there goes the last thread of his self control. He kissed her finally. It was calm and he hoped she would't hate him for taking away her first kiss. Her lips were just as soft as he imagined. That's when his brain came back and he realized what he was doing. He shouldn't be kissing her. Not when Rey is in this state of sadness. He pulled away and mentally slapped himself.

"Sorry. That was really inappropriate." She looked at him in shock and he thought he saw excitement.

"Says who?" They looked at each other and this time Rey made the first move. Before he knew it they were kissing again. This kiss was completely different. It wasn't sweet, it was actually really rough. Maybe she's felt the same as he has the whole time. He didn't realize he was pushing her until he felt the wall against his hands. He had pinned her against the wall.

"Rey... we need to... stop." He pulled away and he brushed his thumb across her bottom lip. He didn't think this would ever happen.

"Ben... how long have you felt this way?"

"Ever since I met you. I'm drawn to you and I've always cared about you...I want you so badly."

"Really? I have always just thought I had an infatuation of you... but I realized recently that I have feelings for you."

"I have more than just feelings for you Rey... I love you. I know it's insanely early but I can't control how I feel."

"It's not insane... now what?"

"Now I can take you on a date without worrying about being rejected."

"I can still reject you."

"Yeah but you won't"

"You're right"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **I really hope you enjoyed this chapter! Also, Kylo Ren is going to be in the story very, very soon. I have a lot of ideas. If you have any questions about things that might be unclear, I'd be happy to answer them :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **This whole chapter is just going to be Rey's POV because I wanted a lot to be in her point of view. Sorry for those who like Ben's POV. This chapter also has more dialog than usual so I hope that's okay.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There is a mature part in this chapter so anything that is mature will be in bold. If you don't want to read any of the "gross" stuff then skip the bold lettering.

Rey's POV:

The second Ben looked at her arms was the second she felt more ashamed than she ever has. She is hurting Ben by hurting herself. She did her absolute best to stop hurting herself but she failed. When Ben kissed her she was so surprised but she had a hard time hiding the excitement. She was excited that Ben kissed her and excited that she just had her first kiss. It was way better than she thought and she was glad it was with Ben.

"I can still reject you." She definitely won't. She's wanted to be with him for so long and she just found out he feels the same.

"Yeah but you won't."

"You're right." They stared right into each other's eyes. She couldn't look away. It was so easy to get lost in the moment. Ben kissed Rey's cheek, breaking the tension and sat on her bed.

"Hey... I thought you weren't into college kids." Rey is smirking now.

"I'm not. But like I said, you're an adult not a college kid." Now he's smirking but it falls quickly and he suddenly got serious.

"Come here." She did as she was told and sat down next to him. He rolled her sleeves back up but this time he was more gentle. He rubbed his fingers over the cuts.

"Rey... please stop doing this."

"It's easier said than done. Kind of like ignoring Olivia."

"Try. Just try to stop."

"Okay."

"Wanna head out to dinner?"

"Like a... date?" She was hoping Ben would be a lot of her firsts. He was just her first kiss and now she wants him to be her first date and boyfriend.

"Yeah. So what do you say?"

"I'd love to." Ben unrolled her sleeves and pulled her up and out of her apartment. She wanted to look nice on her first date but she didn't care right now. She was too caught up in the moment. When they got into his car she was actually really hot so she took off her sweatshirt. She usually doesn't wear shirts under her sweatshirts but luckily today she did.

"I knew you were hot in that." Rey rolled her eyes.

"But you're hotter in that." Rey blushed and smiled a little.

"Why are you all the sudden so forward?"

"I don't need to hide it anymore. I was worried you didn't feel the same so I just said what friends would say. I have a lot more to say but I'll keep it to myself. Let me just say, it's extremely hard not saying what you want to."

"Like what?" Rey was curious if he thought of the same things as she did.

"Not saying."

"I'll tell you what I think if you do too." He glanced at Rey as he started driving to wherever they're going.

"Okay. Deal." Ben feels the same way as she does so she might as well be honest.

"Well as you know, I think you're hot. Like really really fucking hot. Sometimes even..." what's the word she's looking for?

"...sexy."

"That's not true but continue." Rey rolled her eyes and continued.

"Anyways, I always get jealous when other girls are around you and I've really liked you for a while. Also, when you wear your uniform I almost die." She paused for a second and looked over at Ben to see him smirking.

"Also...I may or may not have had a dream with you in it."

"What was I doing?" He said it in a very seductive tone, still smirking, and eyes on the road.

"Umm... well... sooo..." As Rey struggled to say what she was trying to say, Ben parked in the parking lot of a really nice restaurant.

"Ben. I can't afford to eat here."

"I'm paying."

"No! You're not paying for me."

"Yes I am. Now continue what you were saying." Ben faced Rey, waiting for her to explain her dream to him. Rey rolled her eyes and continued.

"You were kissing me and things got really heated... clothes were removed... stuff like that."

"Be more specific." He was smirking again and his stare was so intense.

"No."

"Fine... Well lets go in."

"Hey! You're supposed to tell me what you think about me!" He got out of the car and Rey quickly followed him.

"Your turn Ben." He ignored Rey and it was hard for her to keep up with how fast Ben was walking.

"I'm going to keep bugging you until you tell me."

"Okay. It will be a waste of your time."

"Why can't you just tell me? Would it offend me? Would it hurt my feelings?"

"No. I'm a really dirty person and I don't want to scare you away." He opened the door for Rey and she was wondering what this restaurant is even called.

"You won't scare me away. Where are we anyway?"

"Cheesecake Factory."

"There is no way in hell I'm letting you pay for me. This place is so expensive!"

"Too bad. I'm paying and you can't stop me." She finally gave up knowing she'll lose. They were seated pretty quickly which normally doesn't happen. Last time she came here was with Finn and Poe on Finn's birthday a couple years ago. They waited an hour just to be seated because this place is so popular. But now she waited only waited not even 5 minutes.

"So... Ben... tell me what you think about me..." He rolled his eyes and looked at the menu.

"I already told you. I have feelings for you. Now decide on what you want."

"No. I told you what I think now you have to. We made a deal."

"Too bad. Now what should I get? Water or Coke?"

"Beeeeeeeen."

"Reeeeeeeey." Rey was getting frustrated. His thoughts about her are either really sweet or dirty. Either one seems like he's embarrassed to tell her. Even if it was really really dirty it wouldn't bother her. She even held back with what she wanted to say. Rey didn't want to ruin their first date by bugging him during the whole dinner, so she'll just do that after dinner.

\---

Rey's first date was good. Well, she thinks it was good. She doesn't really know because she's never been on a date before. Her and Ben talked for hours making each other laugh sometimes. When the check came out Rey started arguing about paying for herself again. Ben payed for it without her noticing and she felt really guilty. She really hates it when people pay for her, especially when its really expensive. They are back in Ben's car and Rey was surprised when Ben asked if she wanted to go to his place. She's been wanting to but Ben is OCD and needs his apartment to be 100% clean. Apparently it finally is.

"Beeeeeeen?"

"What?"

"Tell me what-"

"I said no and I meant it."

"I thinks you're being unfair. I wouldn't of told you what I think about you if I knew you were lying."

"Well it's fun to lie sometimes. Plus, I wanted to know so I had to get you to tell me somehow."

"Ugh. Fuck you."

"I know you want to. You had a dream about- ow!" Rey pinched his arm as he said this and she glared at him, trying to stop herself from laughing. They both stayed silent for the rest of the ride and when they got to his apartment she was not going to give up on getting Ben to open up. She is eager to know.

"Tell me what you think."

"No." He was looking for his keys as Rey kept asking.

"Please?"

"No."

"Pleaseeeee?"

"Noooo." He found his key and started to unlock his door.

"Please? Please? Please?"

"No, no and no." He opened the door and she saw his apartment for the first time. It was clean. Really clean. There was also barely any color. Just grey and black. Rey shut the door and she still wasn't going to give up.

"Please?" Ben groaned as he set their stuff down.

"Please-" She was cut off by Ben covering her mouth with his hand and pushing her up against the door. He moved his hand away and put both hands on the door. Each hand on one side of Rey's head as he pressed his body against her.

**"Every time I see you I have a hard time controlling myself. Especially when you're in your dance clothes. Fuck Rey you have no idea how much you turn me on... I'm using all the strength I have to stop myself from having my way with you. I want you so fucking bad." He paused and stared right into Rey's eyes. Rey was surprised by Ben's sudden dominance. She knew it was in there but she never thought he'd let it out. His words are sending shivers down her spine, in a good way.**

**"I want to be your first time and if you had your first time with someone else I'd go insane. I want to be the one to make you feel things you've never felt before. I want to be the only one who fucks you. I want to be the only one who kisses you. I want to leave marks so I can show everyone that you're mine. That's just what I think when you're wearing normal clothes...don't even get me started with what I think when you're wearing your dance clothes." Rey was getting so turned on right now. She can tell he has more to say and that thought is turning her on even more.**

**"Just looking at you makes me think of all the things I could do to you... I think about going down on you, being inside you, and right now I can't stop thinking about bending you over my counter. My blood boils at the thought of someone else touching you. I want to be the only one to touch you and the only one to hear your screams." Fuck. He wasn't lying when he said he was dirty. He is so fucking hot.**

**"I want to bite the lip you're biting right now." She didn't even realize she was biting her lip and quickly stopped.**

**"Now you know. Anything else you want?" Rey was speechless. She wanted to say something but she couldn't come up with any words.**

**"I'm a sick pervert I know. I'm a fucking creep and I understand if you run from me."**

**"What makes you think I'll run from you?"**

**"Why wouldn't you?"**

**"You're actually making me want to do the exact opposite. You may not realize it, but you turn me on too. Everything you just said was hot." Ben looked at her lips then back up into her eyes.**

**"Stop biting your lip or I'll lose all my self control." She's biting her lip again?**

**"What happens if you lose your self control?"**

**"I'll do everything I just told you." He pulled away and went out of the room.** She doesn't know where he went but she'll use this time to look around. It's very organized that's for sure. His kitchen has marble counter tops and all the furniture is either grey or black. She sat down in the chair at the counter and looked at her broken phone.

"You really need to get that fixed." Ben's voice startled her as he walked into the kitchen.

"Can't afford it. I need to save my money for school and my apartment."

"I'll pay for it."

"Hell no."

"Stop being stubborn and let me do what I want."

"I'm not stubborn."

"Then let me pay for a new phone."

"Fine." He nodded and started making popcorn.

"Go sit in the living room and away from the counter."

"Why?" He faced Rey and raised his eyebrows. It took her a minute to understand why but she finally understood when she thought about what he said earlier. Maybe she wouldn't mind if that happened.

"What if I don't want to move?"

"I'll move you myself then." He walked over to Rey and threw her over his shoulders. She yelped as he did so and started laughing.

"Put me down!" He finally did but he put her on the couch instead. This man will be the death of her.

\---

Rey was being woken up by Ben and she realized she was on his couch. It was morning because she could see the sunlight shining through the windows. Wait... it's moring? She sat up quickly and looked for a clock to see the time. She must of fallen asleep last night when they were watching a movie.

"What time is it?"

"Noon."

"Shit! I missed 3 of my classes already! Why didn't my phone alarm wake me up?"

"I somehow missed my alarm too. I just woke up about 5 minutes ago." She is praying that she won't get in trouble for missing class. She asked Ben where the bathroom is so she could fix her hair and he showed her. She quickly went there and tried to hurry. Even though it's lunch break, she still has to go home and get ready. She doesn't have much time.

She used Ben's hairbrush, which wasn't surprising at all, considering his hair. Rey heard a knock on Ben's door but she didn't think much of it. He'll just get the door then drive her home. She put her hair up in a bun and quickly left the bathroom, but when she went into the living room she saw 2 Bens. Is she seeing straight?

"Uh... Ben?" He looked at Rey and appeared annoyed and angry at the same time. He walked to her and pulled her into what seemed to be his room.

"I have to tell you something."

"Clearly."

"I have a twin brother." Why hasn't he ever told her about this?

"What?"

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. Don't be mad."

"I'm not mad...just shocked."

"His name is Jacen Solo but he goes by "Kylo Ren." Don't ask me, ask him. He changed his name for some stupid fighting league called the First Order. When I came back from Luke's my parents told me he left to be with the First Order. I saw him when I was 20 but only for an hour. He left again and I haven't seen him since. Now he's suddenly back in my life."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I keep him hidden away... I don't understand him."

"Did he say why he's here?"

"Yeah. He claims that he's fighting here in Naboo and my mom, well our mom, told him where I live so he could see me. I'm not letting him stay here though. I would go crazy."

"He can't be that bad."

"Go take a look at him. We have the same face, but somehow he looks better than me. In elementary school, all the girls were obsessed with him. He's also a player. He will go for any girl he can get his hands on and it doesn't take much effort." Ben went from annoyed to protective in a matter of seconds.

"If he goes for you I'll kill him."

"Don't worry. I want to be with you not him." Ben kissed Rey on the cheek and led her back to Kylo. She has more questions but she ask them later. She took a better look at Kylo and noticed only slight differences. He is wearing all black, while Ben only wears black sometimes. His hair looks exactly like Ben's but Ben's is slightly longer. Their faces are identical except for the scar on Kylo's face and his face is clean shaven. That's when Rey actually noticed Ben has a little bit of facial hair. She obviously knows Ben has facial hair, but she hasn't thought much of it.

"Hello there. Nice to meet you." Kylo's voice sounded similar to Ben's but it was much deeper. Of course he's attractive. He's literally identical to Ben. But Ben is still more attractive. She could see that he was checking her out but she ignored it.

"Hi. I'm Rey Kenobi."

"Kylo Ren... I must say... I'm surprised Ben got someone as hot as you in his apartment."

"I'm not." She saw Ben shift uncomfortably and she felt bad. He must be feeling so much emotion right now.

"Got a boyfriend?"

"As a matter of fact I do. Ben." Ben's eyes shot right to Rey's and smiled a little bit.

"I'm impressed Ben." Rey really needed to get home so as much as she was enjoying this, she changed the subject.

"Ben will you drive me home?"

"Of course. Let me grab my keys." He did so and Kylo walked closer than he should of to Rey.

"Why are you with Ben when you could be with me?"

"He's way hotter than you that's why."

"But we have the same face."

"You may have the same face, but he's hotter because he has a kind personality and from what I understand, you're just a dick." She walked over to Ben and held onto his hand as all 3 walked out the door. Apparently Kylo is coming with. This won't be awkward at all...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **I really hope this chapter was good. Next chapter will be mostly Ben's thoughts of everything that happened in this chapter and obviously more Kylo Ren. This should be interesting...**


	8. Chapter 8

Ben's POV:

Ben knew he could of made Rey's first date a little better. Yeah it was nice but he should of asked her out properly and then go on a date on a different day. But he wanted to go on a date as soon as possible and it seemed like Rey didn't mind at all. She didn't mind until it got to the subject of payment. It's cute when she argues with that accent she has. Nothing she says is going to stop him from paying for dinner. He isn't sure why she gets like this when it comes to buying stuff for her but she should get used to it.

He could listen to her talk all day. She has a lot of experiences that she talked about and Ben loved every moment of it. He also couldn't get over how Rey would react to some of the things he had to say. When he told her about his childhood she would smile and it was the cutest thing ever. They also came upon the subject of his ex girlfriends. His 2 relationships never worked out. His first kiss was with some girl in his sophomore year of high school and they dated for a few months. That same girl was also the girl he lost his virginity to. Right after she broke up with him and he was hurt because she was using him the whole time. His second relationship was in his senior year of high school and they dated until they graduated. It would of lasted longer but she was moving and didn't want a long distance relationship. 

Rey told him about her social anxiety and how hard it is for her to make friends. She explained her confusion as to why she's never had a boyfriend. She thinks she isn't pretty enough, which isn't true. Ben is surprised that boys don't throw themselves at Rey. She also told him about her childhood memories and he's glad she had a good childhood. They can talk to each other so easily it's like they've known each other for years. There is so much he wants to do to and with her but he has to take it slow. It's her first relationship so he doesn't want to scare her away with his impatient personality. 

When they left the restaurant she was trying to get him to open up all the way, just like she tried before dinner. He's glad she stopped during dinner. It was cute seeing her frustrated but he was losing his patience. When they got into his apartment he was just going to make popcorn but Rey wasn't going to give up. If he told her about all of his dirty thoughts he was scared she would think he was disgusting. Just like Snoke. As he set their stuff down he looked around to make sure everything was clean and saw his counter. More dirty thoughts came to mind and he couldn't hold them in anymore. As he pushed Rey up against the door he was worried he hurt her but her face showed otherwise. She looked shocked but she also had an amused expression. He told her everything. He was pouring his thoughts and feelings out without even thinking. His feelings for her aren't much different than his thoughts. Only difference was that his thoughts were more fantasies than feelings. 

She kept biting her lip and he knew she wasn't aware of it. It was driving him crazy. Absolutely insane. He had to pull away because he was afraid he would kiss her. Not a big deal but with all the sexual tension it would of escalated quickly and Ben wanted to take it slow. He wanted Rey to enjoy all these firsts, not let them be thrown at her. Plus, they just told each other how they felt just a few hours ago. This "relationship" has to go slow. It would be best for both of them. He went to his room to calm himself down. He took a few deep breaths and brushed through his hair before he went back into the kitchen. Rey was sitting right by the counter and it was not helping his dirty thought about bending her over it. He just calmed himself down and now his calmness is fading away. 

Ben tried his best to think of something else so he offered to fix Rey's phone. He isn't taking no for an answer so Rey should stop wasting her energy by arguing. No matter what he thought about he couldn't stop thinking about Rey and the counter so if she won't move he'll move her himself. He's carried her before on the night she was drunk, and she is just as light as he remembers. He easily threw her over his shoulder with no problem. They watched a movie and he felt himself drifting into sleep. He kept trying to stay awake but he failed. Oh well.

\---

Ben doesn't know what woke him up, but he was suddenly waking up on his couch with Rey asleep next to him. He admired her for a second because she looked so adorable when she sleeps. Sleep is the only place for Rey without any problems and she looks so peaceful. Like nothing bad has ever happened to her. He saw the time and thought going to work would be a waste so he called in sick. That's the first time he's ever done that but he doesn't care right now. Rey most likely wants to get to dance so he had to wake her up, no matter how much he wanted to just let her be. 

As she was in the bathroom someone knocked on Ben's door. Out of habit, Ben didn't check to see who it was first. He opened the door to his brother. Why the hell is he here?

"Jacen?"

"It's Kylo Ren. Call me by my real name again and I'll punch you." He shoved past Ben and he started to freak out. How is Rey going to react?

"What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to visit my little brother."

"We're twins so that isn't possible dumb ass."

"Yeah but I was born 5 minutes before you so technically I'm older." Ben was getting annoyed already and he just got here.

"How did you find out where I live?"

"Well I have some stuff I have to do here in Naboo and I remembered Leia telling me you lived here. So, I asked for your address and now I'm here."

"You're not staying at my apartment."

"Wasn't planning on it. This place is tiny."

"Well I apologize for not being as rich as you." Ben was glaring at Kylo when Rey walked into the living room. She looked so confused and Ben refused to explain what's going on in front of Kylo. He quickly brought Rey into his room and explained as much as he could. He thought Rey would be angry with him but he was wrong. She should be mad at him. When Ben was grabbing his keys he heard Rey and Kylo talking and he was getting jealous. With what Rey said though, Ben felt a little better and remembered that she wants to be with him and only him. He was annoyed when Kylo followed them to his car and hoped he would just leave. He doesn't want to see his brother after what he did. 

"Kylo are you coming with or leaving?"

"I'll come so I can catch up with you and your pathetic life."

"Thanks." Ben opened the door for Rey, making Kylo sit in the back. Rey sat in silence the whole ride and he can tell she's uncomfortable. Kylo decided to say something and Ben wished he would just stay silent until Rey was gone. 

"So Rey... what were you doing at Ben's?"

"Just to hangout."

"Yeah I'm sure that's why." Ben heard the sarcasm in Kylo's voice and suddenly Rey started to giggle. 

"What?" Kylo just stayed silent as Ben was trying to figure out why she was laughing. 

"Just thinking about last night and what you said."

"Keep your mouth shut. I swear-"

"What did Ben say to you?" 

"Just that he wants to-"

"La la la la!"

"Ben can just tell you." As she said that they got to Rey's and she got out saying bye to both Ben and Kylo. She walked over to Ben's window so he rolled it down. 

"I'll text you." She gave a quick kiss and left. During this Kylo made his way to the front seat with a smirk on his face. Ben started to drive back home and wasn't looking forward to spending time with Kylo. 

"So... what did you say to her last night?"

"None of your damn business."

"How long have you two been together?"

"Since last night."

"Really... well I'm happy for you."

"Yeah right."

"Don't fuck this up. Leia wants grandchildren."

"That's not happening for a long time. And stop calling mom by her name."

"I refuse to call Leia mom. She was barely one. Han wasn't exactly a dad either."

"I disagree with you on mom but you're very right with dad." Ben heard his phone go off meaning he got a text but he can't answer it while he's driving. Should he trust Kylo looking to see who it was?

"See who that was. I'm driving."

"I hate that you're a cop. You're such a goody goody." Kylo looked at Ben's phone and looked confused.

"Isn't Hux that kid you were friends with?"

"Who texted?" He answered ignoring Kylo's question. 

"Rey. She said, 'I hope you're working today because I don't feel like dealing with Hux today." As Kylo said that, he imitated Rey's accent. Shit he totally forgot about Hux.

"Tell her I'll come." Kylo looked at Ben looking like he was about to laugh. 

"What?"

"I bet you'll come..." He mumbled and Ben knew how wrong Ben's reply to Rey sounded. 

"Shut the fuck up and tell her what I told you to tell her." Kylo sighed and did so. Kylo is just as dirty as Ben is but Kylo might be worse. Ben quickly changed and called back into work saying he decided to work today. Kylo either needs to leave or stay at his apartment. There's no way in hell Kylo is coming. Ben went to leave but Kylo fucking followed him.

"You are not coming."

"Yes I am."

"Why? Don't you have a girl to hook up with or something?"

"Nah. I'm not in the mood."

"Fine. You keep your mouth shut and stay away from Rey."

"I'm not gonna steal you girlfriend. I'm not that evil." Ya sure. 

\---

Ben walked inside quickly as Kylo followed. It was almost time for Rey's class so he knew Rey would be here somewhere. He found her by the classroom so he started walking towards Rey.

"Whoa hold on Ben."

"What now?"

"Rey's a dancer?"

"Yes. Don't look at her, stare at her, check her out, nothing." Ben has never been this possessive before. 

"Hey Rey."

"Hi Ben. Kylo came too?"

"I didn't want him to but I probably can't stop him from doing whatever he wants...like stealing you from me." He eyed Kylo as he said this.

"Like I said, I don't want to be with anyone but you."

"Prove it." Ben smirked and Rey looked around before pulling his head down to kiss him. 

"I have to go to class now. Bye." She walked off and Kylo rolled his eyes.

"Disgusting." Ben went to watch Rey dance through the window because he can never get enough of it. He was watching Rey so intently that he forgot Kylo was even there. He looked over at Kylo and he was staring directly at Rey. He kept licking his lips and Ben got possessive again. He pushed Kylo away from the class so he could stop looking at Rey. 

"Mine." Kylo raised his hands in the air like a surrender. He hopes Kylo won't be here for long. 

Rey's POV: 

Rey could tell Ben was getting irritated with Kylo. Every time Kylo would say something to her or look at her Ben would get really protective and possessive. It was pretty fun to watch. She just wishes Ben understood that he doesn't have to worry about Kylo "stealing" Rey. She got ready really fast and made it to school a few minutes before Ben did. Well Ben and his clone. 

When class finally ended, she was stretching when Ben came in with Kylo following behind. She came out of her splits and went to stand up but Kylo reached his hand out to help her. She didn't take his hand because Rey knew it would bother Ben so she got up on her own. Just as she stood up Olivia came over. Olivia should just give up on Ben and try with Kylo. It will do both Rey and Ben a favor. But no. Kylo decided to go to the bathroom at the one moment Rey actually wanted him to be there for. 

"Who was that officer Solo?"

"That's none of your concern."

"Yeah totally... but I must ask one last question."

"Yes?"

"Why are you talking to Rey? She is so... what's the word... lame? Out of your league? You'd be better off leaving her alone... where she belongs. Hell she's even cutting herself for attention."

"Lets go Ben." He stopped Rey by grabbing onto her forearm. He held Rey's arms out towards Olivia.

"She does this to herself because of you and many other things."

"You didn't answer my question...officer." 

"You're too self centered to actually see Rey so I'm not explaining." 

"Why can she call you by your first name? Why is she damn important to you? She is just another one of us... so what makes her so different?" 

"I'm not answering anymore questions. But I will answer one you haven't asked yet." The next thing Rey knew, her lips were against Ben's. No one has ever stood up for Rey before. Ben pulled away and pulled Rey out of the class. When Rey looked back she saw the worst glare she's ever seen. Mission accomplished?


	9. Chapter 9

Rey's POV:

Rey is so excited to finish her shift at work. It feels like she's been working all day but she's only been working for a few hours. Ben isn't coming in tonight because he has to deal with a robbery at someone's house. Ben said that Kylo finally left and went back to his hotel, so there's something that she's happy about. Kylo hasn't done anything, yet, but it's a lot less tense when Ben isn't constantly fighting with Kylo. 

"Rey will you go help who just came in? I'm busy right now." She's been cleaning tables most of the night so she'd be more than happy to take someone's order. She went to take the customer's order and as soon as she saw Kylo she wanted to go slam her head into a wall. 

"Oh... hey Kylo... what can I get for you?"

"Hi lovely. I'll just have a black coffee." 

"Not surprised." She walked away to get his coffee and as she was waiting she noticed Kylo kept staring at her. She wishes Ben was here. 

"Here's your coffee. Anything else?" Kylo eyed her up and down. Rey knew he was checking her out and it wasn't making her very comfortable. She's in a relationship, well she thinks, with Ben and Kylo needs to understand that. 

"How about you sit, and we talk." 

"I can't. I have a job to do." Maz came up to them and she hoped Maz would get her out of the situation.

"Go ahead Rey. You need a break anyway. I can find someone to cover for you." No Maz! You're supposed to help!

"Umm... okay..." She sat down in front of Kylo as Maz walked away smiling. Something is off and she can't figure out what. Maz is being less strict and has been smiling the whole time Kylo has been here. Also, Kylo doesn't seem like Kylo. He seems... different.

"So... you and Ben? You're together?"

"Well I hope so. We haven't exactly talked about it yet."

"How could you like someone like him? You could be with someone so much better than him."

"We had this conversation this morning. He's hotter. It's not just his appearance that I'm very attracted to, it's his personality. He's so sweet and caring and selfless. He's also funny and he actually cares about what I have to say. We relate in so many ways. The question you should be asking is how could Ben like someone like me?"

"You should give me a chance. I could do way better than Ben." Why can't he just give up already?

"How so? You could do better at being a boyfriend or better at sex?" She was trying to sound as rude as possible and she hoped it would work. 

"I can't guarantee being a better boyfriend but I'd definitely be better at sex." 

"Well that will never happen so stop wasting your time trying to get in my pants. I gotta get back to work." Rey got up and tried to stay as far away from Kylo as possible. Something was off about him. His voice wasn't as deep as she remembers and she could of sworn his hair was shorter than that. Could it be... Ben? No it couldn't. Ben doesn't have a scar across his face. There is also no way Ben could act like Kylo that well. Why would Ben pretend to be Kylo anyway? Yeah there is no way it's Ben. 

Rey: Bennnn save me

Ben: ?

Rey: Your damn brother is here

Ben: I'm sorry. Work is keeping me later than expected.

Rey: I know :( 

Ben: Don't give me a frowny face

Rey: :'(

Ben: You must be real sad if you're sending :'(

Rey: I have a question.

Ben: Yes?

Rey: What are we? Like girlfriend and boyfriend or...

Ben: I like the sound of calling you my girlfriend ;)

Rey: Okay boyfriend. I have to get back to work. Maz will kill me if she sees me texting

She only had 5 more minutes and she could finally go home. Kylo just left so thank goodness she doesn't have to deal with him anymore. She cleaned some more tables and before she knew it her shift was over. 

"Bye Maz!"

"Don't come in tomorrow. You deserve a day off."

"Thanks." Rey left and started walking to her car which wasn't very far but far enough that she had to walk for a few minutes. She was so close to her car but her walk was interrupted by someone grabbing onto her arm and pulling her behind a building. It was too dark outside to see who it was and that made her panic even more. Whoever this was is strong and she couldn't get out of their grasp. Once this person spoke, she immediately knew it was Kylo Ren. 

"Do you know how jealous I am of Ben?"

"Umm... I'm guessing a lot. Now let me go!"

"Just one night Rey and Ben won't have to know."

"Sure... in your dreams!" She was trying so hard to get away but his body was the strongest one she's ever encountered. 

"You would rather have sex with Ben?"

"Yes I would! Now let me go!"

"That's the answer I was hoping for." What???

Ben's POV:

After the encounter with Olivia, Ben finally got Kylo to go back to his hotel. Ben got off work early and headed home. He was planning on heading over to the Diner to see Rey but he had a better idea. It involved lying to Rey and he doesn't like lying to people, especially Rey, but this idea was too good to pass up. He could pretend to be Kylo Ren and make a move on her. He knows Rey would reject Kylo but he wants to see how she would react. As much as he hates it, deep down he is a little uncertain if Rey would actually reject Kylo. How will he pull this off though? Even though they look almost exactly the same, there are still very noticeable differences. 

He will have to shave to get Kylo's perfectly clean shaven face but that's probably the easiest part. He will have to figure out how to do the scar. He might have to do it with makeup because he can't think of anything else. One thing he refuses to do though, is cut his hair. Kylo's hair isn't that much shorter but he still isn't going to touch his hair. He likes it the way it is. The clothes should be easy too because Kylo just wears all black. He knows it's probably not a good idea to pretend and be his brother, but he honestly doesn't care. 

Once he finished getting in Kylo's getup he thought he did pretty good. He was surprised at how well he did the scar. It wasn't easy and he even had to go buy makeup, but he did it. He hated lying to Rey. When he told her he was busy with a robbery he felt guilty. He is more worried about Kylo finding out though. When he got to the Diner he realized he has to act like Kylo too. That shouldn't be too hard. He wanted to tell Maz though so his plan worked out the way he wanted it to. 

"Maz can you do me a favor?"

"And hello to you too."

"Sorry."

"What is up with you?"

"That's what I'm trying to tell you. I'm being my twin brother for a night."

"You have a twin?"

"Yes. I wanted to see how Rey would react if he made a move so please be less strict on her tonight."

"Okay. But it's gonna cost you."

"Okay. How much?"

"Not money. I don't want that. I'll let you know when I think of something." He nodded and sat down somewhere random. He has a seat he always sits at but he can't tonight. He can't blow his cover by sitting in his usual seat. When Rey came to take his order he saw the annoyance in her face expression. Kylo must really annoy her. When she came back and sat down with him he started asking questions about "Ben". He wanted to know what she would say about him to other people. She wasn't very nice when she answered his questions and Ben was very relieved.

"You should give me a chance. I could do way better than Ben." 

"How so? You could do better at being a boyfriend or better at sex?" 

"I can't guarantee being a better boyfriend but I'd definitely be better at sex." Ben would never say that but Kylo would so as much as he hated it, he said it. 

"Well that will never happen so stop wasting your time trying to get in my pants. I gotta get back to work." That's good. He isn't done yet though. He will have to think of something else to do. After she walked away he got a text from Rey. He had to be careful because if Rey sees him on his phone as she's texting him then she'll know he isn't Kylo. He looked at the time and saw that Rey gets off work in 5 minutes so he left before she did. He's going to do something that might scare her but it's what Kylo would do. He's seen it happen before. When Rey was walking back to her car, Ben followed until they got to the back of the restaurant so no one would see. When he pinned her against the wall he saw fear and panic. He felt a little guilty but he continued anyways. Obviously he won't go too far. 

"You would rather have sex with Ben?"

"Yes I would! Now let me go!"

"That's the answer I was hoping for." He let go of her and tried not to laugh at how confused Rey looked. 

"What?" He didn't know how to tell her it was him so he took out his police badge and tried wiping off the "scar". 

"Ben?!" 

"Surprise..."

"Why the hell did you pretend to be Kylo Ren?!"

"I just wanted to see how you would react."

"So you don't trust me?"

"No I do. I was just curious at how you would act if Kylo made a move."

"Oh well good job I guess. I was wondering why 'Kylo's' Hair looked longer than usual and why his voice wasn't as deep." She smiled a little then slapped Ben across the face. He should of seen that coming.

"Ow! What was that for?!"

"That was for pretending to be Kylo and lying to me about working." Then she slapped him again. Holy shit she hits hard!

"And that was for scaring the shit out of me just barely and making me think I was about to be raped." 

"Sorry... oh and Maz knows about this..." 

"Well whatever you got her to do thank you cause she was being easy on me tonight."

"Sorry again."

"It's fine just don't do that again. If I'm honest with you though, if I had a twin I would of done the same thing."

"I bet you would..." He paused and looked at Rey's arms. He realized he pinned them against the wall and hoped he didn't hurt her.

"Did I hurt you?"

"No. You just scared me. By the way, you are really strong. Like incredibly strong."

"Which is why I'm worried. You're telling the truth? I didn't hurt you?"

"You didn't hurt me Ben. Don't worry." 

"Can I kiss you?" She nodded and he put his hands on her waist and kissed her. It was gentle and quick but he loved every second of it. 

"I need to get home. Dancing bright and early."

"I'll walk you to your car." Little did they know someone was watching them the whole time. 

\---

Ben couldn't sleep at all last night. He feels like something bad will happen and he can't figure out why he's feeling this way. It's probably just anxiety. He went to NU today because he felt like he should be there for Rey. Hux hasn't done anything for a few days so Ben doesn't want to take any chances and not be there in case Hux decides to do something. Thank goodness Kylo didn't follow Ben around today. He was such a pain in the ass yesterday. Now he's busy actually doing what he came here to do. Rey gets a break for lunch in the next few minutes so he'll go surprise her at her classroom door. The bell rang and Rey came out after a few seconds. 

"How was class?" They started walking together and Rey had a faint smile on her face.

"Good. I have Nutcracker tryouts in 2 weeks."

"Can I watch?"

"I don't know if they'd let you but sure."

"I'll sneak in." He winked and Rey laughed a little. She stopped walking and laughing when they saw Hux walking right towards them. Ben grabbed onto Rey's arm and kept her as close to him as possible. He had a tight grip so he was probably hurting her but his protectiveness was taking over. 

"Officer can I speak with Rey?"

"Why do you always need to speak with Rey? You speak to her quite a lot."

"Well I'm in charge of the music for the Nutcracker so I like to speak to dancers about their preferences with music."

"It's a little odd that you only talk to Rey and no one else." Hux stood there looking like he didn't know what to say.

"If you need to speak to Rey that badly then I will accompany her." He saw a lot of anger and annoyance in Hux and he wasn't hiding it very well. 

"Very well. My classroom." He turned and started walking. Ben followed but Rey stopped him.

"I don't want to Ben."

"You'll be fine. Okay? I won't let him touch you." 

"Fine. Can you at least loosen your grip on me?"

"Oh yeah. Sorry." He did and continued following Hux. It makes sense that Hux is this way. He was probably sexually abused way longer than Ben as a kid. Of course he's fucked up. But that still doesn't give him a right to touch Rey. Or any girl without the girl's consent. Same goes for guys. Girls don't have a right to touch guys without the guy's consent. A lot of people don't ever think about that though and it's kind of sad. They got to Hux's classroom and Ben never let go of Rey the whole time they were there. Hux just talked about stupid music shit and clearly wasn't prepared to actually talk. He was prepared to harass someone instead. 

\---

Rey and Ben are back at his apartment watching "Grease". It's Rey's favorite movie so she insisted they watch it because Ben has never seen it before. Someone called Rey though and interrupted their time together. 

"Hello?... Seriously?... umm yeah I'll come get her... bye."

"Who was that?"

"Jyn. Her and Rose are at Poe's party and Jyn asked me to get Rose. She's drunk apparently." She got up and got all her stuff together.

"I'm coming with."

"Okay. I'll probably need your help anyway." He paused the movie and grabbed his keys.

"Where is it? You don't have your car so I have to drive."

"Poe's house..." She teared up but shook her head and grabbed her still broken phone. Damn that needs to be fixed. They got to his car and she put the address in the GPS because she was too lazy to direct him herself. It was a 15 minute drive but he didn't mind. He actually really likes to drive. They got there and the first thing he noticed was the huge pool in the backyard. Some people were swimming and most people were doing what they usually do at parties. Drink, drink, and more drinking. 

"Fuck this is bringing back memories." Rey was walking pretty fast so Ben had to keep up with her. He figured she was trying to get to Rose fast.

"I hate that damn pool."

"Why?"

"Umm... no reason. Just bad memories with Poe and Finn." They walked through the back and Rey was stopped by some guy.

"Rey what are you doing here?"

"Hi Finn. I'm just here to get my friend and I'll be out of here."

"Actually can we talk?" So that's Finn. 

"Umm I guess... Ben will you go find Rose? I'll find you in a second." He nodded and went to look for Rose. Whatever they have to talk about will hopefully fix things because she's been really hurt by them. He finally found Rose by the pool and Jyn was trying to keep her standing up. 

"Where's Rey?"

"Talking to someone. I'll help Rose out. You go do whatever you were doing before." Jyn nodded and walked over to a guy. He fucking hates parties. 

"Rose come on." She fell so Ben had to help her back up but something caught his attention. Rey was really really close to the pool and he didn't think she knew that. He saw Finn awkwardly standing there wall some guy was getting up in Rey's face. What the hell was going on? He only heard a few words from the guy before Rey was being pushed in the pool. These fucking parties are just fucking ridiculous. But Ben panicked when he heard what Finn yelled.

"Poe why the hell did you do that?!! You know she doesn't know how to swim!!!" He let go of Rose and quickly said sorry before he bolted to the pool. He didn't give a shit if his clothes got wet. He pulled Rey out of the water as fast as he could and she instantly started coughing. He didn't have to jump in but his shirt still got really wet. He doesn't have time to care right now. 

"Finn! Get Rey a towel!" Finn came back pretty fast and wrapped the towel around Rey. Ben stood up and went to go see why Poe pushed Rey in the damn water.

"Why the hell did you do that?!"

"You must be the boyfriend."

"Answer my question!"

"She deserves it. She'll be fine stop worrying. I'm sure you'll find a way to warm her up." He knew what Poe meant by that and he wanted to punch Poe in the fucking face! He won't though because that's not a good idea at all. He went back to Rey and picked her up while Finn stood up looking pretty guilty.

"Finn, do you know Rose Tico?"

"Yeah were really close why?"

"Can you get her home?"

"Of course. Will you have Rey call me when she's... better?"

"Yeah. Thanks by the way." He got Rey to his car as fast as he could. It was pretty chilly outside and he's sure Rey is freezing because of her wet clothes. He got her buckled in and turned on the heater as soon as he got in the car.

"You okay?"

"Y-yeah." She leaned her head against the window and he saw a tear escape. She was shivering so even though it felt like a sauna in the car it didn't matter. 

"So what happened?"

"Lets go to your apartment and I'll explain."

"Your clothes."

"Whatever. I'll just wear one of your shirts." 

"Okay." He doesn't care but if Rey wears one of his shirts... he's gonna lose it.


	10. Chapter 10

Rey's POV:

When Rey found out Ben pretended to be Kylo Ren she was pissed. He didn't need to do that. It was Ben the whole night and that annoyed her. She was suspicious but she didn't think she'd actually be right. All the annoyance drifted away when Ben kissed her. Yes she was a little mad but there was a little amusement too. Ben is truly one of a kind. The next day was pretty rough though. Lizzy, her teacher, was extra hard on the classes today. It was exhausting. Because of that all she wanted to do was watch a movie with Ben and that's exactly what they did. When Jyn called her though she pretty much knew why she was calling before she even picked the phone up. She was watching her favorite movie with her favorite person and now she has to take her drunk friend home. How perfect...

When they got to the party, Poe's house was bringing back so many memories. She hasn't been here in years. That pool is terrible though. She's always been scared of water so when Poe and Finn tried to teach her to swim, it didn't go so well. She doesn't know how to swim still and she feels like she failed one of the easiest things ever. Ben can never know. 

"Rey what are you doing here?" Finn...

"Hi Finn. I'm just here to get my friend and I'll be out of here."

"Actually can we talk?"

"Umm I guess... Ben will you go find Rose? I'll find you in a second." Ben walked away and Rey had no idea what Finn would want to talk to her about.

"You wanted to talk?"

"Yeah... Rey, I'm so sorry. I really am. I wish we could be friends but-"

"But Poe doesn't want us to. I know. Why do you let him boss you around?"

"He is important to me and I love him."

"But you don't love me. Got it."

"Rey-" Poe came up to them and Rey wanted to punch him so badly right now.

"Why the hell are you here?"

"I'm getting my fucking friend. Geez Poe... Why are you so mad at me? It was a stupid ballet."

"Well you're such a fucking selfish bitch. I actually liked being your friend but once we graduated high school you were starting to take Finn from me. After that ballet bullshit I had it with you."

"So that's why I can't be friends with Finn? And that's why you're mad at me? I have a boyfriend you know!"

"Wow! You're a whore now too!" Rey slapped him across the face. She was so infuriated with him right now.

"Well I think this is a nice time to tell Finn about your hookup at the graduation party." Finn looked alarmed and immediately brought his full attention to Rey. 

"Yeah. At the graduation party Poe hooked up with a girl while he was with you, Finn. He cheated on you. He told me he'd tell you but I guess he didn't." Poe pushed Rey so she started backing up. She was a little worried he'd hit her. 

"Well how's your first relationship going?! Huh? Well let me save you the time. He probably doesn't give a shit about you. He probably only wants you for sex. Have you two had sex yet?" Rey stood there not wanting to answer.

"That's what I thought. He's gonna act like he loves you then once he gets what he wants he'll leave you just like everything else." No. That's not true. Ben wouldn't do that. Right? The more she thought about it the more she doubted Ben. He's told her his dirty thoughts about what he wanted to do so maybe it's true. 

"You're just jealous because I wouldn't have sex with you in 11th grade!!!" Right when she yelled that she was suddenly pushed into water. She didn't realize she backed up that far. Wait... she's in water! Shit! She was struggling and couldn't get to the surface of the water. Fuck! She doesn't want to drown! She was about to give up when arms that she was very familiar with pulled her out of the water. When Ben yelled for Finn to get a towel she heard the panic in his voice. Of course Poe is wrong. If he was right Ben wouldn't be so protective and caring. She is suddenly overcome with guilt by thinking so low of Ben. She zoned out thinking about what just happened. She is in a little bit of shock. She didn't even notice Ben pick her up until he set her down in his car. She was so embarrassed that Ben knew that she didn't know how to swim. Well that whole incident was embarrassing. She has a lot to tell Ben. 

"Do you want me to carry you in?" She shrugged her shoulders and Ben sighed. He got out and got Rey out of the car. He carried her to his apartment and once they were in there he set her down on his couch.

"Ben! I'm going to ruin your couch!"

"I don't care." He went to his room and came back with 2 shirts. 

"Choose which one you want to wear and I'll wear the other." She grabbed the black shirt because the white one will be see through. She will have to take her bra and underwear off. Good thing she brought her dance bag with because she has some shorts she can put on to take the place of underwear. Ben took his shirt off and she just realized that this is the very first time she is seeing him shirtless. Holy shit. It's better than she imagined. He has so much muscle and his abs... shit he's hot. 

"You don't have to wear a shirt..." He chuckled and set the shirt he was about to put on down. Yes! 

"I'm gonna go change." She went to the bathroom and changed out of her wet clothes quickly. She was so cold and wet clothes aren't comfortable at all. She put Ben's shirt on and fixed her hair to make it look decent. When she came out of the bathroom Ben was sitting on the couch waiting for Rey. She knew he wanted to talk about what happened and she wasn't very excited about it. She sat down and waited for him to speak first but he was distracted. 

"What?"

"You look really hot right now..." She playfully rolled her eyes and got more comfortable. 

"So... what happened?"

"Well Finn and I were talking then Poe walked up and got up in my face. He's mad at me because he thought I was getting all of Finn's attention. I'm apparently a 'selfish bitch' and when I told him I had a boyfriend he called me a whore. I slapped him because I had it with his shit but he started pushing me around and saying stuff that is really bothering me."

"What did he say?" Rey started to cry and Ben pulled her into his arms. She was crying into his chest and laying in his lap. 

"He said... you don't care about me and that you only want me for sex. Once you get what you want you'd leave me like everything else... I believed it for a second and now I'm so fucking guilty that I thought so low of you. Ben I'm so sorry..." 

"Rey honey don't be sorry...."

"I also said something I probably shouldn't of said. There was a graduation party a week before graduation and Poe was drunk and hooked up with some girl while he was with Finn. He told me about it and promised he would tell Finn. He never did and I just blurted it out at Finn. I probably just ruined their relationship and I bet Finn is very hurt right now."

"That's why he pushed you into the pool?" Here's a story she never thought she'd tell...

"No not exactly... in 11th grade Poe was going through this faze... he was hooking up with whoever he could because he was a horny teenager. He tried to get me to have sex with him and I rejected him. I pointed that out and he pushed me into the pool. I'm so fucking stupid! I can't even swim! It's the worst thing ever. I have this fear of water so I never learned how to swim. I'm not scared of like showers and baths or anything like that but pools or beaches freak me out."

"Rey sit up and look at me." She did so and they made eye contact. 

"You're not stupid. You are strong, beautiful, funny, kind, and so much more... You dance for hours everyday and you never give up. Not knowing how to swim is nothing compared to what you do everyday. And Poe can go fuck himself. He is treating you like shit. Don't listen to what he says cause it isn't true. I care about you so fucking much Rey. You are so important to me. Whether we have sex or not, I would never leave you or hurt you. I love you so much Rey." Rey was crying still but after he said that she started bawling. He held her tightly and she finally stopped crying after a while. 

"Sorry. I'm sure doing this is the last thing you want to do."

"Actually I wouldn't want to be doing anything else." She smiled and relaxed against the warmth of his body. 

"Do you want me to sing for you?"

"Seriously?!" She sat up quickly and got really excited. 

"Yeah."

"Please! I've been wanting to hear you sing for a month now!" He started singing her favorite song and she was about to cry all over again. Did he know this was her favorite song? "Missing you" has always been her favorite song. In fact it was the one her and Ben danced to. His voice was so beautiful. She was kind of sad when he finished the song. 

"Ben... did you know that is my favorite song?"

"Yeah. You listen to it a lot."

"Aww... your voice is amazing!" She was about to kiss him but someone knocked on the door. If it's who she thinks it is she is going to scream. She got off Ben so he could answer the door and as Ben got up he looked Rey up and down. She was probably blushing right now. 

"You look so sexy right now... I'm really struggling."

"Stop worrying about controlling yourself. You couldn't go too far if you tried."

"Hmm... how dirty are you?"

"Very. Now go get the door." He got the door and just as she guessed, it was Kylo. Why now? It's almost 10 pm. 

"Kylo why the hell are you here?" Ben is clearly pissed off too. Kylo came inside and sat at the counter. 

"Hello to you too. I just wanted to come by and have a few drinks but I see you have company. Damn..."

"No no no." Ben rushed to his room and came back with a blanket.

"Rey put this over you."

"Why?"

"Just do as I say." She put the blanket around her and figured Ben didn't want Kylo looking at her body. Kylo rolled his eyes and brought his attention back to Ben.

"What drinks do you have?"

"Not anything you would want. I just have water and soda. I don't drink."

"Lame."

"Sorry that getting drunk and being a complete idiot doesn't intrigue me." Rey wasn't at all surprised that Ben doesn't drink.

"Well did I interrupt something here?" 

"Kind of yeah." Rey spoke up and walked to the counter where Kylo was sitting. 

"What's up with you?" He had a smirk on his face and it was pissing her off. 

"I was just pushed into a pool and yelled at by my ex-best friend. Don't start with me." 

"Damn you're feisty." She glared at Kylo and sat back down on the couch. Kylo only stayed about 20 minutes talking to Ben about the First Order and what he is doing in Naboo. She wasn't really paying attention and played games on her phone. When Ben shooed Kylo out the door Rey jumped up and waited for Ben to walk back in the living room. His apartment is pretty open. You walk in and the living room is right in front of you but if you go to the right the kitchen is right there. When you go into the living room you turn left to go down the hall with the bathroom and bedroom. Her apartment isn't nearly as nice as Ben's. 

Ben's POV:

"Goodbye Kylo."

"Have fun with your girlfriend..." He winked and and left with a smirk. His damn brother is such a pain in the ass. Him and Rey were in a good moment but Kylo had to ruin it. Singing to Rey wasn't as scary as he thought it would be but he was still nervous. He thought that would cheer her up and it did but once Kylo came she got grumpy and sassy. Which he totally doesn't mind at all. His brother deserves it. He walked back in the living room and as soon as he did Rey threw the blanket at him. 

"Hey. Don't throw stuff at me." He smirked and Rey giggled a little.

"What are you gonna do about it?" She put her hands on her hips and waited for his answer. He isn't going to talk though. He will act. He walked all the way over to Rey and threw her over his shoulder. She squealed and that made him smile. 

"You're gonna drop me! Ben!" 

"You're fine." He put her on the couch and started tickling her. 

"Ah! Ben s-stop!" After a fit of giggling he finally gave her a break and sat down next to her. 

"You're so cute."

"I thought I was sexy." She raised an eyebrow and had a faint smile. 

"Oh you are."

"And so are you. You're pretty distracting when you don't have a shirt on." 

"So I asked you a question before Kylo got here. How dirty are you?"

"I already answered. Very. We both already know how dirty you are." He really needs to know her boundaries. If he goes too far or says/does something too dirty, he might scare her away. 

"You should tell me what would be considered 'too far' cause that might happen if not."

"Nothing is too far. It doesn't seem like it but I'm a lot more inappropriate than you may think. Things you'll say is most likely what I think too. So stop worrying about it. Let it all out. I don't want you hiding anything. I won't hide anything either." Rey definitely looks very innocent so this surprises him just a little bit. 

"So me bending you over the counter has crossed your mind?" She smirked and looked away when she answered. 

"Yes it has. Ever since you said it I think about it every time I'm in your kitchen. I don't mind that at all honestly..." Shit...

"It's a lot harder on me because you're always in my kitchen. You should stay out of it more often."

"Is there any other place that's not your kitchen counter?"

"Yes. I think of a lot of places but I'm not telling you."

"Why?"

"Cause you can find out later. They can be surprises." She widened her eyes a little bit and suddenly she is straddling him. She paused then started kissing Ben. He put his hands on her back and she put her hands in his hair. He moved his hands lower on her back and slowly made his way to her ass. Rey grinded against him when he squeezed her ass and that brought her even closer to him, if that was even possible. He slipped his tongue into her mouth when he got the chance and deepened the kiss. Rey was grinding against him and it was driving him crazy. They both pulled away to catch their breaths and Rey looked so beautiful. Her hair was messy and her lips were swollen from kissing. 

"Ben... can we finish the movie? I want to keep doing this but I'm not ready to go further than just kissing yet."

"Yes of course. If you're not ready that's just fine."

"I'm sorry if I got you excited."

"Don't worry about me. Don't let me make you decide on something you don't want yet."

"I want to but I don't feel ready yet. I'm a little scared to have sex." 

"I completely understand." He truly did. He didn't give a shit if they had sex or not. She isn't ready for that yet and he gets that. It makes sense to be scared. It usually hurts girls when they have their first time and she probably wants to prepare herself for that. He will wait and it will be worth it. Rey got off of Ben and laid her head in his lap as he started the movie from where they left off. He ran his fingers through her hair as they watched the movie and pretty soon she fell asleep. He was falling asleep too so he gently moved Rey off of him so he could get up. He picked her up and carefully walked her to his room not wanting to wake her. She stirred a little but he successfully laid her down in his bed without waking her up. He pulled the covers over her and went to leave but Rey's hand grabbed his. 

"Don't leave..." Her eyes were barely open and her voice was really quiet from just waking up. 

"Okay." He had sweatpants on so he got right into bed with Rey. She clung to him as soon as he got in and he loved holding her small body. He will do his best to protect her from all the bad. He won't fail his sweet Rey.


	11. Chapter 11

Rey's POV:

Rey was startled awake by her phone alarm and remembered she had classes today. Nutcracker auditions are in 2 weeks so she needs to get ready for it. She looked around and realized she slept in Ben's bed last night. How is she going to leave? She doesn't want to wake up Ben. Well too late because his alarm went off too. 

"Morning." His voice was groggy from sleep and she thought he looked so cute in this moment. He was laying down with his eyes barely open and had messy hair. 

"Good morning. Can you drop me off at school? I have all I need for class in my bag."

"Yeah. I might not be able to pick you back up though. My boss said we might be dealing with an actual robbery today."

"It's fine if you can't. I'll figure it out."

"If I'm not busy I'll pick you up. If I am I can see if... never mind."

"What?"

"Uh... Kylo could... maybe..."

"Not a bad idea actually."

"I just don't trust my brother."

"I won't let him do anything."

"I know." He sat up and kissed her on the cheek before getting out of bed. She turned the light on because it was still a little dark. It was sunrise but still a little hard to see. When she turned the light on she saw Ben and totally forgot he had his shirt off. Holy shit... she just wants to run her hands over his chest. She's always wondered what he looked like under his shirt and finally got to see last night for the first time. She hurried out of the room, before she lost her mind, and changed into her leotard for dance in the bathroom. She was wearing her leotard that was more revealing and usually she doesn't like that but it's what she has right now. She also likes wearing colored ones but this one was just black. She put her hair up in a bun and did a little bit of makeup then got her things together. Ben was in the kitchen getting something to eat and he was already in his uniform. 

She thought back to last night and remembered how sweet he was to her. She also remembered when things got really heated between them. She wanted badly to continue but the fear stopped her. She plans on losing her virginity to Ben but she doesn't feel ready just yet. She has to mentally prepare herself. She is just scared because of all the negative things people say. If she takes time to get to know Ben even more, maybe that will take a little bit of fear away. She isn't worried about regretting her decision or how awkward it might be, she's worried about the pain that happens to a lot of girls. Of course Ben would stop if she asked. She doesn't have a doubt about it. 

"Ready?" Ben grabbed his keys and offered Rey a pop tart, which she gladly took.

"Yep. Oh and thank you. For this and last night." 

"Your welcome." They started walking out to his car together and she wondered why he didn't have a cop car like most cops do.

"Why don't you have one of those cool cop cars?" 

"I have one. I just like using my car more often. The "cool cop car" is at the police station." He used finger quotes when he mentioned the car. She probably would use this car too. It's a silver 2017 Ferrari GTC4 Lusso. She just has a Nissan 2015 Altima. Her car is trash compared to his.

"How do you afford your apartment and this car? Geez this car is probably more than the apartment."

"I have some money from my parents. They wouldn't let me leave without it. We have a lot of money because of my parents. I'm sure you know who my dad is, Han Solo. He is pretty famous for some car companies he owns." She has heard about Han Solo but was never really interested.

"What about your mom?" 

"She is Mayor of Chandrila, which is where I'm from." 

"Wait. You're from Chandrila?" He nodded and she got excited.

"I've always wanted to go there."

"Maybe I can take you sometime." They both smiled and he opened the car door for her when they got to his car. They both got in and she had so much more questions to ask. 

"So do you like Naboo or Chandrila better?"

"Naboo. It's a lot prettier here. Chandrila is more of a city. Naboo is like California and Florida. It's so green and it's never too hot or too cold from what I can tell. Oh by the way, we need to go to the beach sometime."

"We can go to the beach as long as we're not swimming."

"I completely agree but if you change your mind... I could teach you to swim or just hold on to you while I walk you around in the water."

"I'll think about it." She trusts him but she can't really do anything about her fear. He started driving and she was thinking of what question to ask next.

"Rey... if you don't mind answering... why you're scared of the water?"

"Umm... I've always just been scared. I can't remember when I started being scared of water. I'm guessing it was when I was around 8 or 9 cause I remember going to the beach and swimming when I was little. My parents would take me as much as they could." She smiled at the memories and remembered how much fun she had with her mom and dad. 

"So what is Chandrila like?" She wanted to change the subject before she got sad.

"It's pretty busy and it takes forever to get places. It is pretty but the longer you're there you notice how filthy and dirty the place is."

"What's your mom's name?"

"Leia Organa. She'd like you for sure."

"Sorry I'm asking a lot of questions."

"I don't mind. You're just trying to understand me. I might be asking questions too so be ready." As he said that they made it to NU and she was nervous because she knew Ben wouldn't be here today. She'll just stick with Rose and Jyn to be safe from Professor Hux.

"Bye Ben. Text me."

"Will do. Bye." Rey got out of the car and got inside 10 minutes before class so she has just enough time to stretch. 

\---

She worked extra hard today and now she's exhausted. After her last class she changed into some black jeans and a white crop top. She had this outfit in her dance locker. She got a text from Ben that was sent hours ago so hopefully he's smart enough to know she couldn't answer her phone because of class. 

Ben: Ya I'm super busy with stuff today. Do you want Kylo to pick you up and bring you to my office at the police station? 11:12 am.

Rey: Sorry I haven't looked at my phone at all today. Kylo can get me as long as you're fine with it. 3:08 pm.

Ben: Okay. Kylo said he would be happy to pick you up. Of course he'd be happy to. You are hot and he probably can't resist you. 

Rey: It will be fine Ben. And thanks for the compliment <3

Ben: Please tell me you're wearing regular clothes and not your dance clothes...

Rey: I'm wearing normal clothes don't worry. 

Ben: Good. 

Rey: So you have an office?

Ben: Yeah. I'm currently in it and my boss won't let me leave cause "This robbery case rests in our hands".

Rey: I'll let you go so you can work. She put her phone away and started walking outside. It's really nice outside today so she'll relax in the sun while she waits for Kylo. She was sitting when a guy sat next to her.

"Nice day isn't it?" She was so confused. Is he talking to her? The closer she looked at the guy the more creeped out she got. He looked a lot older than her. A lot. He wasn't the best looking either. What happened to his face?

"You're very pretty."

"Thank you..." She feels really uncomfortable right now. 

"My name is Snoke. Yours?"

"Rey Kenobi..." Snoke... that name is really familiar. Where did she hear that name? She thought of everyone she knew and tried to remember who would of said that name. Maybe it's just someone she's served at work. Maybe not though. She doesn't remember serving such a strange looking person.

"Well Rey, what are you going to college for?" He moved closer and she wanted to get out of the situation so badly.

"Ballet."

"I'll have to watch you sometime." Please don't.

"Hey Rey! You coming?" She never thought she'd be so excited to see Kylo ever. She quickly got up and walked over to Kylo. 

"Who was that?"

"Snoke I think is his name." He looked Rey right in the eyes and brought his attention back to the guy. He looked alarmed. 

"What? Say that name again?"

"Snoke..." 

"Fucking shit. Come on let's go." She followed Kylo to where she thought would be his car but it was actually a motorcycle. She's never been on one before. This should be fun...

"What's wrong?"

"Uh... have my brother tell you." Ben... Snoke... wait. Snoke! That's the guy that sexually abused Ben! She almost started having a panic attack but Kylo brought her back to reality. 

"Hop on." She got on behind him and put on the helmet he handed her. 

"I'd hold on to something if I were you." She wrapped her arms around his torso and tried to ignore the feeling of his muscles. She stayed quiet the whole ride, freaking out because she just talked to the man who ruined Ben's mental well being. When they got to the police station she saw Ben walk outside and wait by the front. She got off and took the helmet off before she walked over to Ben. He was looking pretty damn jealous. It's honestly cute. Ben put his arms around her waist and roughly pulled her against him, which startled her just a little bit. He kissed her and slowly pulled away and she knew what he was trying to do. He knew Kylo was watching so he's being possessive. It's so cute when he's like this. 

Ben's POV:

This day was probably the most stressful day he's had. He's been so busy with finding a robber and figuring out what he stole and how to get it back and blah blah blah. It's a complicated process. Rey was the only thing keeping him from being overly stressed. He honestly didn't want Kylo picking her up but Rey needs a ride and he completely trusts that she can beat Kylo's ass if he tries anything. He didn't know Kylo had a motorcycle until he came to the police station with Rey. Ben immediately got jealous because that meant Rey had to wrap her arms around his annoying brother. He tried to act cool but he failed. He didn't mean to pull Rey against him so harshly but she didn't seem to mind.

"Ben... you don't have to be so protective. I'm sure your brother is fully aware we're together."

"I don't know what you're talking about." He smirked and she pecked him on the cheek before forcing herself out of his grasp. She began walking into the station and he quickly followed.

"I want to see your office. I didn't know you had one." 

"It's not that interesting. Just files and more files. Oh and some pens." He led the way to his office and he cleaned up the two empty cups of coffee he had on his desk. He had papers scattered across his desk, his jacket was on his chair, and there were files of information all over the place. Kylo slowly made his way into the office as well and had a smirk on his face.

"Damn Ben. You're so messy. Nothing new though. You were just like this as a kid." Rey hopped up on the desk and sat where there weren't papers. She looked around as Ben looked right at Rey. She was giving him very inappropriate ideas. It's probably worse than his ideas with the counter. They made eye contact and Rey bit her lip. Shit. Kylo really needs to leave. After a few seconds Rey spread her legs out a little bit, smirked, and looked away. She's doing this on purpose...

"Ben?" Damn it Kylo. 

"Hmm?"

"I asked you a question..." Shit...

"What?"

"I said... when did Snoke get out of jail?" What? He should still be in jail for another year. 

"He should still be in jail..."

"Uh that's strange because Rey was just talking to him at NU." He brought his full attention back to Rey and nearly had a panic attack.

"Wait Rey what the hell happened?!" He wasn't mad at Rey he was mad at that disgusting man for talking to her. 

"A guy sat next to me and claimed his name was Snoke."

"What did he look like?"

"He looked like he was about in his 60's maybe 50's... with a face that looks like he was ran over by a car 50 times."

"Was he creepy in any way?" 

"No." Her face said otherwise.

"Tell me the truth. Was he creepy in any way? Did he make you uncomfortable?"

"...yes." Ben didn't want Rey going through what he went through. She's broken enough.

"What was he doing?"

"Just saying I was pretty... he wants to watch me dance... asked my name-"

"Did you tell him your name?"

"Maybe..."

"Rey why the hell would you do that?!"

"I didn't know he was your childhood monster..." That's an interesting way to put it. Why is Snoke here? And why isn't he in jail? He needs to find out as soon as possible.

"This is not how I wanted my day to go. Kylo how good of a fighter are you?" 

"What kind of a question is that? Have you been living under a rock? Clearly you both have. I'm in the fucking First Order. The best fighting league in the world. I'm The Kylo Ren."

"Yeah yeah. Can the great Kylo Ren protect Rey?" He doesn't trust Rey being alone ever. 

"Of course I can. Definitely better than you." There goes his jealousy again. He wanted to punch Kylo. 

"I'll be with Rey as much as I can and when I'm not able to because of work, you will stay with her."

"Fine. You do know I'm leaving in a week though right?"

"Hopefully that will be enough time to figure out why Snoke is here and whether he is a threat or not." Rey groaned and everyone's attention was back on her.

"Guys I don't need 2 twin body guards. I can take care of myself."

"I'm not taking any chances." She rolled her eyes and slouched. 

"Well I'm going. Your welcome for the ride." Rey said thank you and Kylo left. 

"Ben... everything will be okay." He nodded and calmed himself down. If Snoke got out of jail he most likely wouldn't be stupid enough to make his same mistake again. Yeah. There's nothing to worry about...

"So... I should probably get back to work. You can do whatever for the next 30 minutes. You need to move though. I need my desk." She nodded but started smirking after a few seconds. She wasn't moving. 

"Rey I need my desk..." He does need his desk for work but he can't stop thinking about fucking her right now. 

"What are you gonna do about it?" Fuck... she needs to quit biting her fucking lip! They both sat in silence until Ben decided to make a move. He swiftly walked and stood in between Rey's legs. She was sitting on the edge with her legs dangling so it was easy. 

"Ben are you sure work is why you want me off the desk? Or is it something else?" She is a smart girl. She still had a smirk and her tone sounded like she knew exactly what he was thinking. 

"Maybe it is something else. And you don't like to listen do you?"

"Nope." She giggled as Ben pulled her into a kiss. His hands were on the desk on each side of Rey's legs so he could keep his balance. Somehow Rey slowly laid down and Ben was leaning over her, pinning her arms above her head. People would say their relationship is moving way too fast. And maybe it is. They've only known each other for a little over a month. They've been together for not even a week. But this is his best friend and he doesn't really care about other people's opinions. 

"Sorry I forgot my- oh my fucking hell!" Ben jumped off of Rey to the sounds of his brother's voice. Him and Rey were both startled. 

"Uh... I'm just grabbing my jacket and you two can continue whatever you were doing..." Ben said nothing and Kylo left just as fast as he arrived. This time he shut the door. And locked it on his way out. 

"Okay I'm going to work now."

"Good idea." Rey got off the desk and he could see that she realized something but didn't know what.

"Damn it!" 

"What?"

"I was so fucking distracted with Snoke that I think I left my dance bag either with Kylo or outside in the grass."

"Oh shit. Nothing too important is in there right?"

"Oh no not at all..." She paused and he could hear the sarcasm in her voice. 

"Of course there is! My house keys, car keys, my $100 pointe shoes, my wallet-"

"Okay I get it. You have a lot of important stuff in there."

"I'm texting Kylo."

"No-" She already had her phone out before he could finish his sentence. 

"Too late." After a few minutes she got an answer from Kylo.

"He doesn't have it. I left it at school and I don't know what to do. Snoke probably went through it." That made him angry the second the words came out of her mouth. 

"Lets go find your bag." He didn't give a shit about his job right now. If Rey has her wallet AND keys to everything in her bag, there is no doubt Snoke or even someone else would use that against her. 

"Ben you have work-"

"Nope. Not anymore. What is in your wallet by the way?" 

"Debit card, driver's licence, ID, stuff like that."

"Please tell me none of those have your address on it..." She went pale and he knew the answer when she looked down. He gently grabbed onto her wrist and tugged her out of his office. His boss stopped them so Ben had to think of something fast.

"I really need to go. It's kind of an emergency."

"I was just about to tell you to go home. Good luck with whatever emergency you have." Ben let go of Rey's arm and hurried out to his car hoping Rey could keep up with him. Once Rey was in the car he hurried to NU. 

"Ben you don't need to be so worried."

"Snoke could easily find out where you live and everything about you just by looking at any of the things in your wallet." She was calm until they got to where she was sitting when Snoke approached her. She was keeping it together really well until they saw that her bag was gone. What makes this terrifying is that they don't even know if it was Snoke that took the bag. He knew what her panic attacks looked like and he can tell she's about to have one because she is pacing and trying to breathe slowly. She was fanning herself and she was about to break. He can tell. She sank to the ground and put her head between her legs.

"My money, my keys, all my shoes... and now I can't drive." He sat down next to her and wrapped his arms around her knowing it would calm her down somewhat. 

"What do I do?" She sounded defeated.

"First you need to cancel your debit card before anyone uses it. Then after that just make sure you doors are always locked... actually... never mind." He realized locking her door would do no good because whoever has her bag has her keys. That just made her more upset. 

"Uh... don't buy any new shoes in case you find your bag... well you can't anyway." She doesn't have her money.

"You're not really helping..."

"Sorry. This is bad and I'm not gonna lie." He held her and as he did he looked around. He saw someone watching them and knew exactly who it was. He didn't say anything though. He didn't want to accept that Snoke was back in his life.


	12. Chapter 12

Rey's POV: 

Rey was having a full on panic attack. She was breathing heavy, her chest was hurting, her heart was racing, and she couldn't concentrate on anything but the big problem she is dealing with right now. She could tell Ben was giving it his all to help her but every thing he said was mute and all she could hear was her sobs. It wasn't just the thought of Snoke or whoever had her bag finding her house or stealing something from her bag. It was all the hard work she put into getting money and spending it on dance shoes. Also her driver's license but that was the thing she worried least about. She can get that back by going to the DMV. It's the money that can't be easily taken back. Ben is right. She really needs to cancel her debit card. Good thing she has a spare key to her apartment in her dance locker. She was beginning to hear Ben's voice but it was still hard to piece it all together.

"Rey... Rey... it's going to be okay. I promise. I promise on my life. No one will hurt you and you will get everything back. Rey you just need to calm down so we can figure out what to do." 

"Ben... I... do you have... those... damn it why can't I fucking talk!?"

"Breathe... you were saying 'do you have those...' Focus on what you're trying to say and not on your panic attack." She focused so hard it hurt and finally got out what she was trying to say.

"Do you have those... pills for panic attacks. This one... this one is bad." 

"In my car. You need to get up. I'm not leaving you even 5 feet away from me."

"Ben... I'm trying... I can't think straight." She really was trying to get her body to stand up but panic attacks kind of stop you from doing pretty much anything. 

"I'm carrying you to the car then." He picked her up like she weighed nothing and walked to his car. He set her on the ground by the door and held onto her arms to keep her steady.

"I need you to stand up just for a second. Hold on to something if you feel like you're going to fall."He let go and she surprisingly stood pretty well. He got the medicine from his car and got back to Rey in less than a minute. 

"I don't have any water so you'll have to swallow the pill alone."

"I don't give a shit... anything to get rid of this damn panic attack." She swallowed the pill quickly and waited for it to kick in. As she was leaning against Ben's car with Ben beside her, Rose and Jyn suddenly came into view.

"Hey Rey! What are you doing here?" Rose was as excited as ever while Jyn just smiled.

"Can't talk." Rey closed her eyes and hoped Ben would explain, which thank goodness he did.

"She's having a bit of a crisis right now."

"Oh what happened?"

"Her bag is gone and it has everything in it."

"Oh shit. That sucks. Well I hope you find your bag." They have no idea what could happen to her if someone has all her information. Jyn finally said something.

"We're heading to dinner. You guys can come if you want. It can take the stress off from losing your bag." 

"Guys I don't think she-"

"Actually Ben... lets go with them. I don't want to think about the problem right now." She could feel herself relax and her heartbeat calm down. 

"Okay. Whatever you want." Jyn looked slightly worried while Rose didn't seem fazed at all by what's happening.

"Wait... are you and Officer Solo together?!" 

"Yeah."

"Oh my gosh! Jyn you owe me 20 bucks. I knew they would get together!" 

"What do you mean?"

"Jyn and I placed a bet a few weeks ago. I could see lots of romantic tension between you two. Jyn didn't. Obviously I won the bet."

"Okay Rose. You win. Now lets go!" Rey and Ben followed not knowing where they were going. 

"Hey Rose and... Ben? You two go ahead. I need to talk to Rey." Rey didn't even know how Jyn knew Ben's name but she did. Ben and Rose were further ahead as Jyn stayed back with Rey.

"Hey I know how you feel about losing your bag. I lost mine once and I was screwed. I lost all my money and dance stuff."

"Yep. It really sucks."

"Just make sure you get a new debit card and change your locks. You can easily cancel your card and transfer your money onto another one at the bank. It isn't as easy to change your locks though."

"Thanks. I didn't even think about changing my locks."

"No problem. Now lets go get some dinner."

\---

"Wait wait wait... so when did you two realize you both liked each other?" They were eating at Denny's. Rose and Jyn were facing Ben and Rey.

"Monday night." Rey explained that they liked each other for almost the whole time they've known each other. She also explained they both didn't know how the other person felt. Now Rose is getting deeper and deeper into the questions. 

"Aww this is just too adorable... it's literally just like a book I read. Two people meet and they like each other but they don't know it. Then something pulls them together and bam! They are together."

"Rose calm down. It probably won't work." Jyn got the smile to leave both her and Ben's face.

"What makes you say that Jyn?"

"Well first of all they've only known each other for a month. Second of all Ben is a police officer and Rey is a student."

"I don't see anything wrong with either of those."

"Well I do. They need to really know each other before they start a relationship. Also, it just doesn't seem right. A cop that works at our school? With a student? There isn't a law that says they can't be together... but I don't find it very appropriate." Rey never thought about this. It still doesn't change her mind about Ben though. Jyn doesn't understand that she's told Ben things she hasn't ever told anyone about. They connect in a weird way. She really hopes Ben feels the same...

"I need to use the bathroom." Rey got up and hurried off to the bathroom. She needed to breathe in case she gets mad at Jyn. As she left the bathroom after recouping, she was suddenly being pushed up against the wall in the hall of to the bathrooms by Ben. It wasn't aggressive. In fact Ben pinned her against the wall pretty slowly. 

"Ben what are you doing?"

"Don't let Jyn make you think differently about our relationship. Don't think about anything she just said."

"I wasn't planning on it."

"I don't care what other people say. When I want something nothing will change my mind. Even if you didn't want me in return, I can still want you, I just can't have you."

"Don't worry. I just needed to get away before I snapped at her."

"Okay good." He gave Rey some space and she smiled.

"You're forgetting something."

"What?" She rose on her tip toes and kissed him.

\---

Rey and Ben were back at her apartment trying to figure things out. Jyn and Rose were at some party right now. Rey got an email saying classes were cancelled tomorrow because the teacher was sick. That's fine though. She really needs a break. 

"So how much does it cost to change locks?" Ben looked confused than realized why she was asking.

"It depends. I'll take care of it for you."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes." The next thing they knew someone knocked on her front door. She got up and answered the door without looking to see who it was first. She probably should of. 

"Hey you left your bag when you left the school earlier. I thought I'd bring it to you." It was Snoke. On her front doorstep. Good thing Ben is in her room and not the living room. 

"How... how did you find my apartment?"

"I tried to look for anything to see where you lived so I could return your bag to you. Sorry it's creepy but you have a lot of important stuff in here." Maybe Snoke isn't as bad as she thought? 

"Oh... thank you..."

"You very welcome... Rey." Eww... Snoke brought his gaze to somewhere behind Rey and she didn't even bother to see what he was looking at.

"Well see you. Bye Rey." He paused and smirked. 

"Bye Ben..." She shut the door quickly and turned around to see Ben standing a few feet away from her. When did he come in here? She didn't hear him. So that's what Snoke was looking at...

"Ben?" He didn't respond. He just stood there staring in the direction of where Snoke was. He was expressionless. 

"Ben?" Finally he looked at Rey and then her bag. After a few seconds of staring he moved to Rey and took the bag out of her hands. She didn't try to stop him. He opened the bag and went through everything. It felt like she was getting a bag check... well she kind of was but it wasn't to check for drugs. He didn't say anything as he zipped the bag back up and set it down. Why was he being so silent?

"Ben please answer me."

"What..." Now some emotion was showing. He was trying to hold something in.

"What's wrong?" 

"He's back... in my life... why?" 

"Oh Ben..." She wrapped her arms around him and he rested his head on her shoulder. She knew exactly what he was holding in.

"Let it all out Ben." After a few seconds he began to weep. He was shaking and crying. She's never seen him so vulnerable. He is always strong and confident. Now he looks lost. She feels pretty special that he is crying in her arms. He probably never has with anyone else. 

Ben's POV:

The conversation at Denny's was awkward and uncomfortable. But Rey was smiling and having a good time so he tried his best to do the same. For Rey. What Jyn said though didn't make him even want to pretend to be happy. He saw Rey's smile slowly go into a frown. Good job Jyn... not. Good thing Rey felt the same as him. Neither of them care about what people think. When they got to Rey's she was stressing about what to do and how she would get everything back. No need. She loses her shoes, he'll buy her more. She loses her keys, he'll buy her copies. He'll do anything for Rey. When she got up to answer the door he stayed in the room thinking of things to do. When he heard the familiar voice of man he didn't want to face, he made his way into the living room.

"You're very welcome... Rey." He was confused. Snoke was returning her bag? Something isn't right. He kind of wished he never came out here though because Snoke looked right at him. Ben was frozen. He felt like he was suffocating. 

"Well see you. Bye Rey." Ben walked slightly closer to Rey and stopped when he spoke again with a smirk.

"Bye Ben..." Ben didn't know what he was feeling. He heard Rey say his name but he felt numb. When he came back to his senses his thoughts went right into protective mode. He went through everything in Rey's bag and everything was there. Maybe Snoke isn't such a threat afterall... He has never been so vulnerable to anyone. Why is he being like this? He needs to be the strong one. But by the way Rey was hugging him, he knew it was okay to be like this sometimes. So he let himself cry on Rey's shoulder, even though he had to bend down a little bit to match her height. The more he thought about it, the more he realized he never actually cried about Snoke. When it was happening he just accepted it. When he told his family he isolated himself and just felt alone. Then he decided to use it to his advantage and become stronger. He's cried before but not about the incident with Snoke. He cried when his dog Chewy died when he was 17. He cried when he didn't get what he wanted as a child. Now he is crying because of his damage. And... it feels really good. 

"Ben... I need to tell you something." Tears will still escaping when he pulled away to look at Rey.

"Ben... you said this I think twice and I still haven't said it. Even if we weren't together I would still say it... I love you." He didn't know what to say. He just brushed some of Rey's hair behind her ear and cupped her face with both hands. He didn't kiss her, he just savored this moment before it ended.

\---

"Ben!" He was running though a dark hall that never ended. He couldn't find his way out. All he could hear was the sounds of Rey's screams. 

"Ben!" He was trying to find where her voice was coming from but had no luck.

"Ben!" He ran until he was tired of running and found a single room. He went right in to find Rey tied to a chair and blood everywhere. 

"Ben!" He looked around the room and found Snoke, Hux, and... Kylo? They had Rey. He went to grab her but a window or something like it stopped him. 

"Ben!" She couldn't see him... The 3 began doing things he couldn't ever forget. And what made it worse is no matter how hard he tried... he couldn't save her...

"Ben! Wake up!" He jerked awake and sat up in Rey's bed covered in sweat, breathing heavy. Rey was looking at him with a concerned look on her face. 

"What? What's wrong?"

"You were having a nightmare. You kept whimpering and saying things in your sleep. Also you were breathing really heavy and you did not look okay."

"What was I saying?" 

"You kept saying my name and you were swearing... a lot." He remembered the dream and he pulled Rey into his lap hugging her as tightly as he could. He ran his hands through her hair and nuzzled her neck. 

"Ben what is wrong with you?"

"I promise I won't let anyone hurt you. I'll keep you safe."

"Ben seriously..."

"It doesn't matter. What time is it?"

"4."

"Well I don't want to have that same dream again so I'm getting up and heading to work early."

"Okay."

"You'll be fine here?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. I'll on you as much as I can. I'll also see if Kylo can start being your 'Body guard' today." He used finger quotes when he said body guard. 

"Ben I'll be okay. Kylo doesn't have to keep me safe while you're working."

"I'd feel a lot better if I knew you were with a guy who can break someone's nose in one punch."

"Okay. Whatever floats your boat. I'm going back to bed so I'll text you when I wake up."

"Okay. Bye." He left Rey's house, still shaken from his dream that he hopes never comes true. 

\---

He was at NU and it was different when Rey wasn't there. He didn't have anyone to look forward to seeing. 

Rey: I'm awake. 10:03 am

Ben: Wow sleeping beauty.

Rey: It's not that late old man.

Ben: Excuse me? :0

Rey: You read that right ;)

Ben: How kind... (middle finger emoji)

Rey: Wow... you're kinder than me <3 (middle finger emoji)

Ben: Hey there... the middle finger emoji is my thing.

Rey: Not anymore. Now go stop people from stealing candy from kids.

Ben: :'( 

Rey: Don't you dare.

Rey: I'm working extra today because I totally forgot about work last night. 12:09

Ben: Okay how long?

Rey: 1 to 7. Not too bad. I usually work from 4 to 7.

Ben: Okay. 

\---

"Officer Solo please?"

"No."

"Why?" These damn boy crazy girls don't understand what the word no means. This one in particular is being very difficult. Why do so many girls want to go out with him? He isn't that hot.

"Because I have a girlfriend."

"What? Since when? Who?"

"Since none of your business. If you must know who though, it's Rey Kenobi." He is proud to tell anyone that Rey is his girlfriend.

"That bitch... well bye!" Girls and their hormones. His phone was buzzing in his pocket so he looked to see who it was and it was just Kylo so he ignored it. If it was an emergency Rey would just call him. It's 6 pm so Rey should be at work while Kylo is most likely keeping guard. Hopefully... He headed back to his office to wrap up a few things with the robbery case and the whole time Kylo was non stop calling him. What the hell does he want? He looked at his phone and he had 26 missed calls from Kylo. Maybe something is wrong... This time when it ringed he answered.

"Ben why the fuck weren't you answering?! You need to get to Rey's apartment! Like Now! Immediately! And hurry!" He heard Rey crying and whimpering. That gave him even more motivation to get to Rey than Kylo's words. As he was running to his car he spoke.

"What's wrong?" He got in and didn't even bother with a seat belt.

"I'm not telling you because if I do you might crash and die. Hurry!" 

"That bad?! I really should of answered!" He was mostly talking to himself but Kylo answered anyway.

"Yeah well why didn't you?!"

"Ugh you should of called me on Rey's cell!"

"Uh you see... about that... it's kind of... broken."

"Ya I know the screen is shattered."

"No like it fell when Rey tried to get it and it isn't turning on." 

"Damn it! Tell Rey I'll be there as soon as possible." He hung up and he is really starting to regret his choices today. Leaving Rey and not answering his phone. He got to Rey's as fast as possible and when he got there he bolted to her apartment. The door was open and when he walked in he almost wished he was dead.


	13. Chapter 13

Rey's POV:

"Hey Maz!" Rey was in a pretty good mood today. She got to sleep in and she isn't stressed now that she has her dance bag back. Snoke is still a little creepy but it was nice of him to bring her bag to her. 

"Hello Rey. I'm sorry about last night."

"I should be saying sorry."

"No no. There is no need. Just get to work. It will be a long day." Rey was getting her work stuff on when Kylo walked in. She isn't exactly excited to be supervised all day but at least it reassures Ben that she is perfectly safe. 

"Hi Rey. Ben told me to chill here all day."

"Yeah I know. You need anything?"

"A coffee would be nice."

"K." She got Kylo a coffee and went on with her day. Kylo was pretty bored from what she saw. He was either on his phone, flirting with girls, or going outside to smoke. She figured he did. Does Ben smoke too? Probably not because she would know by now. About 10 minutes to 5 Rey needed to get her phone charger so Maz let her take a break to get what she needed from home. 

"Kylo you can just stay here. I'm grabbing my charger and I'll be back in 5 minutes."

"If you're not back in 10 I'm coming after you."

"Deal." Rey left and hurried home so Kylo wouldn't have to come after her. When she got inside though she realized something. She is using her spare key to get in her apartment... where are her actual keys? She searched through her bag and the keys weren't in there. There is only one person who could have them. Snoke. And before she knew it Snoke was walking out of her kitchen with the keys in hand and a knife. 

"Hello Rey."

"Get out!"

"You're not getting me out of here that easily." Rey did the only thing she could think of. Run. She got to her front door but Snoke made it to her before she could leave. He was pushing Rey against the door so it wouldn't pull open. 

"What do you want?"

"You know... when I first saw you and Ben behind that diner you work at I wasn't exactly sure what you were to Ben. Until I saw you guys make out." He was there when Ben pretended to be Kylo Ren? How long has Snoke actually been here?

"I was quite intrigued by you so I've been watching you since. Also thank me for Hux. I made him leave you alone so Ben would back off a little." Wasn't Hux Snoke's kid?

"I learned that you are actually one of the most important things to Ben. So I need to end that." Rey finally built up the courage to kick Snoke in the shin and run to her room. She almost made it but Snoke grabbed her by the waist and held her in the air. She kicked and squirmed as much as she could but it wasn't working. He threw Rey on the ground and got the knife he was holding. He picked Rey up by the hair and slammed her against the wall. He held the knife against her throat and she was panicking so much right now. Come on Rey. You can beat him. 

"Ben took everything from me! He got me put in jail! So now I need to take everything from him! You are his everything! He doesn't deserve it!"

"Stop! Please!" Snoke laughed the most evil laugh she's ever heard and that scared her more than the knife against her throat. He looked at her body and his eyes were fixed on her wrists. 

"Ben has good taste... only problem are those scars on your arms." He released the knife from her neck and pinned both hands above her head with one hand. He is strong. 

"He'd be disappointed to see that you started cutting again..."

"I already stopped!"

"He doesn't know that." He started cutting her wrists and this is pain she was already used to so it was easy to not react. 

"What are you trying to do?!"

"First I'm going to make this look believable then I'll get rid of you. Easy."

"What, you're going to make this look like a suicide?!" 

"Exactly." She is going to die. No question. She wishes Kylo would of just given her 5 minutes instead of 10. She heard someone's car door slam shut but she was too busy watching the knife get closer and closer to her stomach. After a few excruciatingly long seconds Snoke stabbed Rey in the stomach. She let out the loudest scream she's probably ever screamed. It was the most painful thing she has ever felt in her life. He went to stab again but he probably saw no need to. He let her fall to the ground and hurried out of the apartment. Rey couldn't breath. She literally couldn't. She was trying so hard. She finally was able to breath just a little and because of the lack of oxygen she was getting lightheaded. 

The pain of a knife being plunged into her stomach was excruciating. She was getting blood everywhere and she couldn't stop crying and screaming. Her phone. It's on the table. She just needs to get to it. She went to get up but a sharp pain shot through her stomach that was already hurting enough. She ended up crawling and dragging herself with her arms to get to the table. She reached up and almost got her phone but it slid off and landed screen first. She picked it up and it was completely shattered this time and it wasn't turning on. 

"Ah! No! Kylo! Someone!" She was crying so hard and it wasn't helping her breathing at all. She felt like she was getting weaker every time she breathes. Kylo was suddenly rushing through the door and ran right to Rey.

"Ben's gonna kill me... what happened?"

"Snoke stabbed-" She had to stop to breath and let out a whimper.

"He stabbed me... I can't breathe." That last part turned into another cry of pain. She wanted it to end. She'd rather die. 

"I'll call Ben." He called so many times Rey thought Ben's phone might be dead.

"Damn it Ben answer the fucking phone!" Finally Ben answered and Kylo left the room to muffle Rey's screaming out. He quickly returned and sat next to Rey.

"Where did Snoke go?"

"I'll... answer questions later." She felt like she was about to pass out from both pain and lack of oxygen. But she has to stay awake until Ben gets here. Also she might die so she needs to hold on to life. After about 2 minutes Ben came running in the room. He stopped dead in his tracks with a horrified expression on his face. 

"Kylo!!! Why didn't you call 911 you dumb ass?!!" Ben rushed to Rey and got down beside her. He was freaking out and she could tell.

"Sorry I thought it was more important to call you."

"Well what are you doing just standing there?! Call 911!!" Kylo went outside to call the ambulance and Ben started ripping her shirt apart. 

"I need your shirt off. I have to stop you from bleeding out." She nodded and Ben pulled her shirt off. He took her shirt and pushed it against the wound. She cried out in agony.

"Ben... it hurts... I can't breathe... I want to die..."

"Shh... I know it hurts just hold on. You can do this." She was sobbing and she was positive she looked so bad right now. Her shirt was filled with blood so he yelled to Kylo while he was outside on the phone.

"Kylo!! I need your shirt!!"

"Why?!"

"Because I can't exactly take my uniform off right now!"

"Fine!" Kylo came back in and took his shirt off. At another time, she would of struggled to not look at him. But right now she is focusing on the hole in her stomach.

"The ambulance will be here in about 10 minutes."

"10 minutes?!! Just give me your shirt!" He did and Ben replaced Rey's shirt with Kylo's. 

"Geez her boobs are small..."

"Kylo!!! Now is not the time!!!" Good thing she was wearing a bra. If it was just Ben she would of been fine but Kylo's here so she does care. 

"Sorry..."

"Rey what do you feel like?"

"What do you think I feel like?!"

"No that's not what I meant... I meant do you have any dizziness or something like that?"

"I feel like I'm about to pass out... I'm really really... struggling to breathe. And it hurts so bad..." She just kept crying and whimpering. She knew it was really upsetting Ben but she can't help it.

"Rey I'm sorry. This is all my fault. I promised I'd protect you and I failed. I promised I'd keep you safe."

"Ben... sometimes... we make promises... we can't keep..." She really felt like she was going to pass out. She moved her head to the side and felt here eyes getting harder and harder to keep open. 

"Rey no! No no no no no! Stay with me!"

"Ben it hurts so bad... I can't take much more of this."

"Yes you can! Please don't let yourself fall asleep! You can die! You're body won't be fighting back if you do!"

"Death honestly sounds better..."

"Rey no! You can't die! Please!" She was trying but her eyes were barely open.

"Stay with me!" He started crying and soon she blacked out.

Ben's POV:

"Rey no! Wake up! Rey please!" He was so overwhelmed right now. The second he got through the door he wanted to break down. He couldn't though. He had to do what he could to get Rey to survive until the ambulance came. He knew she was stabbed when he came in because it's pretty obvious. He was also feeling extremely guilty. He promised Rey... he promised she'd never get hurt. Well she is on the verge of death now. He couldn't protect her and it's all his fault. He could of stayed with Rey all day... he could of done so much to protect her...

"Damn it Rey! You won't hear this but I love you..." He kissed Rey on her lips, cheeks, forehead, and even arms before got up and started pacing. Kylo was just standing there looking at Ben.

"What Kylo?!"

"I didn't think she was that important to you..."

"How did this happen?!"

"She needed to get her charger and said she'd be back at the diner in 5 minutes. I told her I'd go after her if she wasn't back in 10... well she wasn't so I got here and saw this. You will have to ask her exactly what happened but from what I know Snoke stabbed her." He had a hunch that Snoke had something to do this.

"Fuck!" Ben picked up Rey and set her on the couch. She was still breathing but her pulse was getting lower and lower. She is probably going to die if the ambulance doesn't get here soon. Ben observed Rey's body and saw new cuts on her wrists. It definitely wasn't Rey because they are still bleeding and Snoke was just here. Just as he was thinking this 4 paramedics came in so Ben moved out of their way and stood by Kylo. Once they checked everything and took Rey out he immediately went through the house. 

"Ben are you coming?"

"Ya I'll meet you there. Just text me the hospital they're taking Rey to."

"Okay." Kylo left and Ben hurried and slammed the front door shut. He frantically searched the apartment for the knife Rey was stabbed with. What the hell happened anyway? He finally found it in the hallway to her bedroom. Usually he is used to blood but he is feeling sick knowing it's Rey's blood. He set it on the table and picked up Rey's phone. Yep. It's completely broken now. He needs to get someone to come and investigate while he gets to Rey. He called his boss because he couldn't think of anyone else. 

"Hey I really need your help. My... girlfriend was stabbed and I'll need people here now. She's already at the hospital."

"Okay just tell me the address and I'll take care of it while you deal with your girlfriend." He gave his boss the address and hurried to his car. He still couldn't believe this was happening. He wishes it was a dream but it's sadly not.

\---

"Kylo where is Rey?" He is finally at the hospital freaking out because he doesn't know if Rey is okay. 

"They took her into a room to bandage the wound before it gets infected."

"Is she going to be okay?"

"The doctors said she should be okay but she won't be waking up anytime soon. She is in a coma due to her loss of oxygen and blood." It's worse than Ben thought it would be. A coma? He wants her awake. 

"I need to see her. Now." Kylo sighed and gestured for Ben to follow him. They went into the room she was staying in and it seemed like the doctors just finished bandaging her wound. The doctor came up to him after finishing up. 

"You the boyfriend?"

"Yes..."

"Rey will be okay. Her coma luckily isn't affecting her in a negative way. You will just need to be patient. She's breathing just fine on her own and everything is working like it should so don't worry about that. When she does wake up though we will give her time to get herself together before we will apply sutures. The whole process will be long so we would need to put her down with anesthesia first. We will then clean the wound, suture it, and let her go on with her daily life." This was so much to take in and it wasn't exactly reassuring Ben.

"She dances almost every day... what will she do about that?"

"The wound will take 10 days to heal so she will need to take a break for that time to let it heal safely and properly. After the 10 days she will be able to dance again but she would just be a little sore." When was Rey's Nutcracker auditions? He hopes she will recover in time... 

"Thank you..."

"Your welcome. I'll give you some time with Rey. If you have any questions let me know." The doctor left and Kylo followed. It's just Ben and Rey. Ben sat on the hospital bed next to Rey and he felt tears begin to fall down his face. This is all his fault... 

"I know you can't hear me... but I'm so sorry... when you wake up I'll be here. I'll always stay until you tell me to go. Anything you want..." He gave Rey a kiss on her forehead and left the room. He needed to process everything that just happened. He also needs to make a lot of phone calls. He sat in the lobby of the hospital with Kylo and let his mind process everything. He doesn't know how long he's been sitting here but Kylo soon left to get to bed, no one was in the lobby, and it was completely dark outside. Tomorrow he plans on getting Rey a new phone before she wakes up and then he'll call all her friends, even Poe and Finn. They deserve to know, even if they won't give a shit. Tonight he'll just wait. Once Rey wakes up and all her friends are aware of what happened, he is going to hunt down Snoke and make him pay for what he did.


	14. Chapter 14

Ben's POV:

A few days later

It's Sunday and Rey still hasn't woken up yet. He is concerned she won't ever wake up but the doctors keep telling him to stop worrying. She's been asleep since Friday night, the night she was stabbed by Snoke. Ben has barely gotten any sleep and luckily he didn't work on the weekends. He's literally stayed in Rey's hospital room the whole time and only left for food, to use the bathroom, and to get Rey's new phone. He got her the newest Iphone and transferred everything from her old phone onto the new one. He ended up calling Rose, Jyn, Poe, Finn, Maz, Phasma, and Rey's dance teacher. Everyone except Poe said they'd visit as soon as Rey was awake and told Ben to call them when she does. Poe just said he'd think about visiting. After hours of being bored and watching Rey he decided he should probably call his parents. He hasn't talked to them in a few weeks and he feels bad that he hasn't even told them about Rey. After the phone rang for a few seconds, Leia answered.

"Hey Ben!"

"Hi mom. Is dad there?"

"Yeah he's right here."

"Put me on speaker. I have to tell you guys a lot." He told them everything about Rey and everything they went through. He told them about things that happened with Kylo, Ben pretending to be Kylo, Snoke's return, Rey being stabbed, and especially telling them that he loves Rey and that he'd love for them to meet her. 

"Oh my! She sounds wonderful Ben! It's awful that she's in the hospital right now..."

"Yeah well I'm doing my best..." Han hasn't said a word yet and he wonders if he was still even there. 

"Well you need to call us when everything is well. I would love to talk to Rey over the phone."

"Sounds good. Also... I was wondering if when she is better... maybe we could visit for a weekend. She's always wanted to see Chandrila and she wants to meet you guys."

"Of course honey!"

"Hey dad?"

"Yeah kid?" So he is there...

"What do you think about all this?"

"That I might have some grand kids soon." He chuckled and Ben's mouth dropped. Fucking hell dad.

"That won't be for a long time." He wants kids but not until he is about 30. 

"Yeah... sure." They both asked about Kylo and what he was doing in Naboo and Ben answered to the best of his abilities. Once they said goodbye Ben felt like he could relax just a little bit. It's good to talk to his mom. Every time he looks at Rey he thinks of Snoke stabbing her and he gets angry. He's been trying to figure out where Snoke went and so far him and all the police on this case hasn't seen any sign of Snoke. When and if he is found, not only will charges be pressed, but Ben's fist will make him even uglier than he already is. 

"Mr. Solo?"

"Yeah?"

"Kylo needs to talk to you out in the hall." He sighed and left the room. Rey won't be waking up anytime soon anyway. 

"What Kylo?"

"So some of the officers spoke to Armitage Hux today. He is being interrogated because he knows a lot more than they thought."

"Okay... I just want Rey to wake up."

"You've been saying that."

"No like if she is awake she can fucking explain to me what exactly happened. That would help a lot. All we know is that she was stabbed and that's all we can really charge Snoke for. If we know more, which I'm sure there is, we can get him found."

"Yeah yeah. Well this is your fault kind of. You put me in charge of her and you wouldn't answer your damn phone." Ben is fully aware that all of this is his fault. If Rey never met Ben she wouldn't be in a coma with a hole on her stomach right now. To hear that it's his fault coming from someone else's mouth though made it worse for him. Ben walked away before he got more upset and went outside for a breather. He is so lonely without Rey. He has no one to really talk to besides her. He feels so alone and lost without her. Who knew that a ballerina slamming into him one day would lead to this. In such little time too.

\---

He was still outside and the sun was beginning to set. He been sitting here for hours thinking about all the problems he causes. When Rey wakes up he is probably the last person she wants to see. How could he let this happen? He should of called in sick for work the other day so he could stay with Rey. He should of protected her. He shouldn't of been so blind. What really tears him up is that he promised Rey she would never get hurt. And she believed him...

"Ben you really need come back in." Kylo was out of breath and it seemed like he just ran outside. 

"I'm just going to stay here..."

"No Ben. Come back in. Rey is awake flipping out. She is literally screaming for you." Ben shot out of the seat he was sitting in and starting rushing back into the hospital.

"Well why didn't you just say that first?!" Fucking idiot.

Rey's POV:

Rey was slowly waking up. She was hooked up to machines and had an IV in her arm. Where is she? After looking around she saw she was wearing a hospital gown, her hair was fully down, and she had some oxygen thing in her nose. She's... in a hospital? Her memories were slowly coming back and she sat up so quickly she couldn't see for a few seconds. An agonizing pain shot through her and she remembered her stab wound. She started breathing heavy and she just wanted to see Ben. Where is he? Ben... she needs him... now...

"Ben!!!" She started crying and she couldn't figure out why she was acting like this. What fucking day is it? Where the hell is Ben? 

"Ben!!!" 4 nurses and a doctor came running in and tried to get her to lay back down.

"No! No! No! I need Ben!! Where is Ben?!"

"We will get him miss okay? Calm down and relax."

"I can't relax until I see Ben! Why am I so fucking confused?!! Why the hell am I not dead?! Why-"

"Sweetie calm yourself."

"I just want Ben! Please!" Kylo came in the room and looked a little panicked.

"What is up with her? I heard screaming." Kylo is such a fucking asshole!

"Will you find Ben?" The nurses were trying to get her to calm and lay down but she wasn't budging. 

"I want Ben! I'm not resting until I see Ben!" Kylo disappeared out of the room and all Rey wanted was Ben. And this fucking bandage on her wound is fucking itchy!

"Get this off of me!" 

"No that has to stay honey." She was crying so hard right now. She can't think straight. She didn't realize Ben came in the room because she was crying so hard.

"I want Ben!! I want to fucking get out of this damn bed and this stupid thing is my nose is fucking annoying!!" She pulled the oxygen thing out of her nose and she was struggling to breathe. 

"Sweetie no. Put that back in. You can't breathe well on your own."

"I want Ben!!" She felt arms on her shoulders and whoever this was is trying to get her attention.

"Rey! Rey! Look at me!" She did and it was Ben. 

"Relax. Calm down. I'm here. I'm here okay? Please put the oxygen thing back on and lay back down."

"I can't fucking think straight!" Ben pulled her into a hug and she clung to him like her life depended on it. 

"Rey please do as I said. Once you do we can talk." She nodded and did what he said to do. She still hasn't calmed down at all though. 

"What questions do you have Rey?"

"What day is it?"

"Sunday. You were stabbed Friday."

"What the hell happened?!"

"You... went into a coma. You passed out after I found you in your apartment. I've been waiting for you to wake up since." She closed her eyes and tried to relax. It was somewhat working. 

"Where is Snoke? Where is Kylo?"

"We don't know where Snoke is. Kylo is right behind me." She just wanted to know if Kylo was okay. The nurse started talking now.

"Okay Rey. We need to check everything and we will give you some time to process everything. You just woke up from a coma." Once the nurses were done they left and it was Ben, Rey, and Kylo.

"Ben, tell me everything the doctors told you." He nervously looked around and sat next to her.

"When you're calm and everything... you need to get stitches or whatever it's called on your wound. Once that is all done... I hate to tell you this but... you have to take a break from dancing for 10 days."

"Okay... the dancing part is good I guess... Nutcracker auditions are 2 weeks from yesterday."

"That's great but these next few weeks will be a little painful and someone has to change your wound bandages everyday so I'm going to stay with you until you're healed. I have time off of my job for you. You can stay at my place or I can stay with you."

"I really prefer your place... not after..." She couldn't finish her sentence. Too much right now.

"Okay. Do you want me to continue with everything? Or do you need some time?"

"I really just want to know everything. I need to know."

"Okay. I got you a new phone. I got everything from your old phone onto your new one. Also, your friends wanted me to tell them when you woke up. I even told Finn and Poe. They deserve to know. Do you want me to call them?"

"Thank you for the phone and call my friends a little later."

"That's pretty much it then." 

"Ben... are you okay? You were so worried last time I saw you and I hate that I put you through that..."

"Yes I'm fine. Don't worry about me... I'm so sorry you're here though. It's all my fault."

"No it's not-"

"Yes it is! I couldn't protect you! I promised you Rey! I promised you wouldn't get hurt and I broke that promise! You're so much better off without me... If you never would of met me you wouldn't be here." He seriously thinks this?

"That's what you think Ben. This isn't your fault for hell's sake Ben! You didn't stab me Snoke did!"

"But I could of-"

"You could of done a lot of things Ben. Stop beating yourself up and let it go."

"Rey-"

"Let it go." He sighed and looked down at the floor. 

"Okay I can't hold this question in anymore. What happened before Kylo showed up at your apartment?"

"I went home for my charger and I realized that I've been using my spare key the whole time. Snoke had my fucking real key and when I got home he was in my kitchen. He's been here for a while now. He saw us when you were Kylo-"

"What?" Uh oh... Kylo is in the room and he just heard what she said. Ben looked back at Kylo and Ben nervously laughed.

"What does Rey mean by 'when you were Kylo'? 

"Uh... continue Rey." 

"No no no. What did you do Ben?"

"I pretended to be you, scared the shit out of Rey, the end. Now continue Rey." 

"Okay... anyways, Snoke has been watching us for a while and he discovered that I'm the most important thing to you. He wanted to end that because you "ruined his life". He thought you deserved to lose everything too. I'm, in his eyes, your everything." 

"That is actually true..." 

"He was going to make my death look like a suicide. He cut my wrists and stabbed me. He was going to do it again but I think the sound of a door made him leave... I can't really remember. I was too busy trying to breathe. Trying. He also stopped Hux from bugging me so you'd lay off for a bit. Now Hux is going to bother me again and I can't... I can't..." She started crying again and Ben immediately wrapped his arms around her. 

"Rey... I'm not leaving your side and I mean it this time."

Ben's POV:

Holding Rey in his arms when she is awake was so relieving. He still couldn't believe she was awake. When he came running into the room she was screaming and panicking. He didn't think Rey would want him there that badly. Also hearing everything that happened with Snoke made him both guilty and angry. He is just glad Rey is okay. Rey finally fell asleep in his arms so he took this time to talk to the doctor. He left the room quietly and found the doctor that he's been talking to most of the time. 

"When are you going to stitch Rey's wound?"

"I was hoping tonight to get it over with."

"Okay... why was she so confused and panicky when she woke up?"

"That usually happens when people wake up from a coma. They don't know what's going on, they panic, in Rey's case she was screaming because she wanted you by her side, for some people they aren't even affected." 

"When can she go home?"

"When the stitches are done she can leave when she's ready. Just make sure you change her bandages every day."

"Okay." Ben thanked the doctor and went back in the room. Rey was just waking back up as Kylo was on his phone. Why is he still here? Ben explained what the doctor just said and after about 10 minutes the doctor brought a wheelchair to push Rey to the room where they're doing to sutures. Rey was back pretty soon and Ben fell asleep with Rey in the hospital bed once Kylo left. Everything is going to be okay.

\---

"Ready to go?"

"Yeah." They are finally leaving the hospital bright and early. Well it's 11 but it feels early because he fell asleep late last night. Rey had the option to be in a wheel chair for a few days because it would be really painful to walk but Rey insisted that she can walk just fine. Yeah right. She was wincing and limping but Ben won't say anything because Rey would get pissed. When they got back to his apartment she laid down on the couch as he called everyone and told them that Rey was awake. He gave them his address and they are all coming. Even Poe. Wow. They all understood that Rey needed time yesterday and they really want to see her. He isn't leaving Rey's side ever again. He won't make the same mistake. Rose, Jyn, and Maz were the first to see Rey. Rose brought some donuts because Rey loves them. 

"Rey! I'm so glad you're okay!" Rose hugged Rey and he saw her wince but Rey didn't acknowledge it. Jyn and Maz didn't hug her because they wanted to be gentle. Once they left Phasma came and quickly said hi before Rey's dance teacher came. Rey's teacher will excuse her from the classes she will miss. Once they were gone, Poe and Finn came. Finn and Poe were clearly not very happy with each other. Finn gently hugged Rey while Poe just stood there.

"Rey I'm sorry this happened to you... Me and Poe aren't on very good terms right now but I got him to come."

"Thank you Finn."

"Love you Rey."

"Love you Finn." Finn stepped away and Poe was next. 

"Hi."

"Hi Poe."

"Sorry. About this and... about pushing you in the pool." As Poe spoke Ben stood closer to Rey and rested his hand on her shoulder. 

"Rey I need to tell you something. Finn already knows so I hope your boy toy won't care about what I have to say."

"What?"

"I... like you Rey... I've liked you for a while actually. Yes I was with Finn but I always just liked you. I got jealous because you didn't like me in return. You saw me as a brother. And now you have a boyfriend. That really pisses me off." Ben was getting pissed but he didn't want to upset Rey so he let his anger boil inside. 

"Poe... this doesn't change anything. How you treated me was not okay. And I don't forgive you yet."

"Which I totally understand. We need to go to dinner sometime. When you're better. Ben can even come."

"Okay. Sounds good." Finn and Poe ended up staying for most of the day, which Ben actually didn't mind. Him and Finn were talking a lot as they all watched TV. He looked over at Rey to see a smile on her face. She is okay. And he will do his best to keep her that way.


	15. Chapter 15

Rey's POV:

Rey was shocked. Like actually shocked. Poe likes her? What the actual fuck? She didn't let that bother her though because her, Poe, Finn, and Ben were having a good time watching a football game. Ben went to the kitchen to grab snacks and drinks while Finn followed to help. They are really hitting it off. 

"Hey Rey can you show me the bathroom?"

"Yeah." Rey got up and led Poe to the bathroom. Once they got there Poe pushed her in the bathroom and shut the door. 

"Poe what are you-" The next thing she knew Poe was kissing her. No! If Ben finds out he'll hate her forever. She pushed him away and slapped him across the face.

"What the fuck Poe!"

"Sorry. I had to do that." He left the bathroom and Rey started freaking out. What will Ben do? She has to tell him. But if she does he will get mad. She wants to kill Poe right now. She left the bathroom and apparently Poe left. Finn and Ben were laughing at some joke Finn made as Rey sat back down. She will tell Ben what happened as soon as Finn leaves. 

"Hey I gotta get going. School is really early tomorrow."

"Bye Finn." She gave him a high five as she said bye.

"See ya Rey. Bye Ben. Oh and Rey? He's a keeper." He's 100% correct. Once he was gone Ben turned the TV off and looked at Rey. 

"Whats wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Rey... I know when something is wrong. You get quiet and awkward."

"Umm... Ben please don't be mad... but... Poe kissed me..."

"What?" He looked hurt. Shit...

"I was just showing him where the bathroom was and he kissed me. I pushed him away though I swear. Please believe me."

"Why wouldn't I believe you? You haven't done anything to lose my trust. If you say you pushed him away then I believe you. It's all good."

"You're not mad?"

"Did you kiss him back? Did you enjoy kissing him?"

"No."

"Then there is nothing to be mad about." Ben is letting her off this easily? He moved closer to Rey and kissed her on the cheek.

"Stop worrying sweetheart." That name for her made her heart melt. Only because it came from him. 

"Aww you're dirty and sweet." He rolled his eyes and smiled.

"So are you." He's not wrong about that. 

"True."

"How did I get so lucky to meet you?"

"I ask myself the same question."

\---

"Ben! No! I can walk myself!" Her and Ben are walking out to his car and he is being a little difficult. She knows he is trying to help but she doesn't want to be carried everywhere, no matter how painful it is to walk. She feels guilty when other people do stuff for her. They're going to Rey's to get some clothes and anything else she'll need since she'll be staying with Ben until she's healed. After the Snoke incident, and the fact that he hasn't been found, Rey is going to move when she is healed. She's been looking for some apartments all day since she can't really do anything but sit. 

"Why can't I carry you? You're going to start hurting if you walk."

"I'm fine Ben." He finally gave up and they continued walking down to the car lot. His apartment is pretty far from his car, which seems even further when she's hurting. She stopped when they were about half way to his car so she could take deep breaths. Ben raised his eyebrows and waited for her to give in. She is really hurting and she hates to admit it.

"Fine." He smirked as he picked her up and carried her in his arms to the car. 

"Told you Rey."

"Shut up before I slap you." She really hates it when he is right. He set her down so he could unlock and open the car door. She opened her door and because she wasn't paying attention she bumped her stomach. Usually it wouldn't hurt but because she is sore it was so painful she bent down on the ground. She tried not to cry and she kind of succeeded. A few tears escaped and she made a hissing sound because of the pain. Ben noticed almost immediately and hurried over to her. He knelled down beside her and rubbed his hand over her back soothingly. 

"Are you okay?" She could tell he was concerned and she didn't even have to look at him. 

"Nope." Her voice was strained so she took deep breaths to get rid of some of the pain. 

"Sorry I need a minute."

"Take your time. No need to rush." Ben could of just gotten in the car and waited but he stayed with her until she could stand up. Once she did he didn't move until she was safely in the car and buckled up. When he did the same he reached over and held Rey's hand. Her hand was so small compared to his. His phone started ringing and he couldn't answer it because one hand was on the wheel and one was holding Rey's hand.

"Do you want me to get it for you?"

"Yeah." He let go of her hand and handed his phone to her. She looked to see who was calling and it was his mom.

"Hello?" 

"Hi! Is Ben there?"

"Yes but he is driving."

"Oh well may I ask who I'm talking to?"

"Rey. Ben's-"

"You're Rey! Ben's girl! Oh I've heard so much about you!" She didn't think Ben even talked to his parents. The fact that he talked to his mom about her made her heart flutter. Ben mouthed 'Put it on speaker' and so she did. 

"Yep I'm Rey... you must be Leia? Leia Organa?"

"So I see my son talks about me. I was worried he didn't but I guess he does!" Ben rolled his eyes and Rey smirked.

"He's told me about Han Solo too."

"Now that surprises me."

"What does Ben say about me?" She looked over at Ben and raised her eyebrows. 

"He says that you are the most beautiful and sweet girl he's ever met. You're his, and I quote, sunshine." She looked over at Ben and he was shaking his head while smirking. 

"Aww... he really said that?"

"Yes! You just sound absolutely amazing!"

"So do you."

"Oh you know what Ben used to do?"

"Mom no!" 

"Oh Ben can hear me? This will be great. Anyways, when he was about 6 or 7 he would dress up in my dresses from when I was his age-"

"Mom!" Rey wasn't quite sure why Ben was bothered by this. He was a little kid. 

"Oh and Han has a friend named Lando and Ben was obsessed with him. It was so adorable. Ben was always running around naked when he was a toddler screaming "Unco Wanwo!" I think my favorite was when he would call Han ta-da. Such a cutie." 

"MOM!" 

"Sweetie stop worrying- Han hold on... fine- I need to get going. It was nice talking to you Rey. Bye Ben!"

"Bye mom..." Rey said bye then hung up. Leia was not what she expected, in a good way. 

"My mom is insane. Sorry."

"I think she's wonderful. You seem like such a cute kid!"

"Not true. I was so awkward. My ears were too big and in fact they still are. That's mostly why I grew my hair this long."

"I love your ears though!" He gave her a weird look as he was driving.

"Seriously?"

"I wouldn't of said it if I didn't mean it..."

"You need your eyes checked then."

"Ben! Don't criticize yourself! If I'm honest with you you're way hotter than Kylo. He's too emo. How the hell was he not the awkward one when you guys were little?"

"I was always so weird and he wasn't. He could talk to anyone and for me the thought of talking to a girl was terrifying."

"Well Kylo is an asshole. You're not. That's a way better quality."

"Yet I was the one sent away..." Rey frowned and put her hand on his thigh. 

"Ben..." 

"Why was I sent away and not him? Kylo does stupid shit and nothing happens. But I don't seem like myself for a while and then I'm sent away. Meanwhile Kylo is home living his normal life."

"Just remember that you wouldn't even be a cop right now if it wasn't for that... and you wouldn't know me."

"I know. I just get jealous of my brother sometimes."

"Well you should show me some pictures from your childhood of you and Kylo and I'll decide on how "awkward" you were." 

"Okay. By the way, I don't know when but my parents said you and I could visit them. If and when we do, we could look at pictures. My mom has tons."

"I would love that."

Ben's POV:

When he saw Poe leave and then Rey silently sit on the couch he knew something was up. She looked like something was bothering her and she's never this quiet. When she revealed what was bothering her he was a little hurt but when she hurriedly explained he was angry. Not at Rey. No no no. He was angry at Poe. But he played it cool and reassured her that he trusts her. Of course he does. If Rey were to go hang out with Kylo he would trust her. Yes he'd most likely be jealous but he knows Rey would never cheat on him or anything in that context.

Now that him and Rey are in the car he has another problem. His mom. It was fine that she was talking to Rey but when she got to his embarrassing childhood stories he wanted to die. Yeah he was a little kid but somehow it is still embarrassing. They finally arrived at Rey's apartment and he just remembered that it was left just how it was when she was stabbed. Cops investigated but they left it how it was because they're still working on finding Snoke and any evidence that it was him. They walked up the stairs that led to her apartment and walked inside to a mess. Broken glass from whatever broke everywhere, clothes everywhere, and stuff like pens and papers scattered across the kitchen counter. Was it really this messy when she was stabbed? He must of been too distracted. Luckily the blood was cleaned up.

"Was it like this before Snoke showed up?"

"No. It was really clean until... that day. I'm starting to realize he went through my whole place. It looks like he went through my clothes and everything in my kitchen drawers." 

"Where did the glass come from?" She looked around for a few seconds looking like she was thinking.

"I must of been some glass cups or something. Once I tried to get away from Snoke he was picking me up and throwing me around so we must of knocked something down." She was taking this surprisingly well but Ben honestly wasn't. It's enough that Rey was stabbed, but now that he knows Snoke went through everything like her fucking clothes, he is livid. He did his best not to let it show though. Rey sighed and headed towards her bedroom with him slowly following behind. He was hesitant because her room might be in the same state as the rest of the place. It indeed was. 

"Hell it's even worse in here! If he's going to kill someone he could at least not make it obvious someone was in here. Idiot." Ben stayed quiet as Rey rambled about how dumb Snoke was. He really is pretty fucking stupid. 

"What I don't get is why the fuck are some of my clothes in my living room?" While Rey was finding her suitcase, Ben was getting her clothes to last the next 9 days. 

"Ben you better pick cute outfits."

"Don't worry I will." He put the clothes in the suitcase Rey just got out and got some of her shoes. Rey left the room while Ben got Rey's hair stuff and toothbrush. Once he was all done with that he brought the suitcase out into the living room. Rey had a small piece of paper in her hand and when she looked up at him she looked scared. He gave her a questioning look and took the paper to read whatever she just read. 

You think I'm done with you? I'll get you alone again Rey and this time I'll make sure you're dead. I do have a proposition though. Meet me behind the Diner tonight at 8 and do as I say. If not I will hurt Ben, Finn, Kylo and Maz. If you do, I won't lay a finger on them and everything will go on with out you. Don't even think about showing this to the cops. I'll know and it won't be pretty when I find you. For you or Ben. -Snoke

Everything pieced together once he read the note. The broken glass... all the messes that Snoke made... none of it was there when Rey was stabbed. It was when he came to leave this note on the table. Ben knew it was messier than he remembered. Somehow Snoke knows Rey is still alive and possibly everything she does. 

"Ben... what do we do? If I go something bad will happen to me but if I don't something bad will happen to me, you, Kylo, Finn, Maz, and anyone else he could get his hands on." Her voice was shaky and she was tearing up. He has an idea and he hopes Rey will trust him.

"Do you trust me?"

"Of course I do."

"You need to go there tonight but you're not going alone. I'll get Kylo to come with us-"

"Us? Ben you're not going. Hell no. He'll hurt you."

"Let me finish. You go and make Snoke think you're alone. Me and Kylo will be there but out of sight. Once he's not expecting anything, we'll come out and get him." 

"What if he-"

"Like I said... we will be there. As soon as he does or is about to do something, we will be right there. Once we got Snoke he'll be out of our lives. You just need to trust me."

"I trust you." Ben pulled her into a hug and held her tightly against him. This plan can go very, very wrong so that's why Ben didn't tell Rey the entire plan. She would know too much. He isn't just going to get Kylo to help, he is going to get as many people as he can to help. He will get as many cops as possible, Kylo, maybe even Finn, and himself. That will be a lot of people compared to Snoke. If he told Rey this, Snoke could possibly find out, but with what he told her it wouldn't matter. If Snoke somehow found out what he just told Rey, he would just think Ben and Kylo will be hiding when really it will be a lot of people.

"Rey... everything will be okay."

"I know Ben. I trust you."


	16. Chapter 16

Rey's POV:

She couldn't believe Snoke was in her house again. When she walked in, it seemed a lot messier than before and Ben seemed to notice as well. Now she knows it's because Snoke got back in. Ben was very helpful with her packing and she was really grateful for that but when she found Snoke's note her mood dropped. Ben's plan seems like it could possibly go extremely wrong but she trusts him. She knows he didn't tell her the whole plan and maybe it's for the best. She can tell he didn't because knowing Ben, there is way more to something than it seems. It was actually closer to 8 pm than she thought. It was almost 7 and once she saw the time she felt like she was about to have a panic attack so she wanted to hurry back to Ben's to be distracted. They finally got all her stuff and headed back to Ben's house. The whole car ride Rey was struggling with her almost panic attack. She was trying so hard not to let one take over. 

"Rey, are you okay?" 

"Yep. Fantastic." He eyed her before getting out of the car to get her stuff while she got out herself. When Rey started walking up to his apartment she felt Ben suddenly pick her up. 

"Ben!"

"I'll put you down when you tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing is wrong." He shrugged his shoulders and started rocking her like a baby.

"Ugh fine...  I'm really really nervous and scared." Ben stopped rocking Rey and his face was serious now. He kissed her on the forehead before setting her down and pulled her into a hug. The way he was holding her against him was different. It was like nothing could pull him away from her. One hand was in Rey's hair and the other was wrapped around her back. 

"Ben... if this plan goes wrong... just know that I love you. So much." She felt Ben hug her even tighter and his warmth and scent comforted her. He smelled like Ben and she never wanted to forget that.

\---

It was 2 minutes until 8. Rey can't remember the last time she's felt this nervous. Ben and Kylo were in the car with her and she just had to keep reminding herself that it will be okay. Ben parked and Rey quickly got out to go meet Snoke where she was supposed to. Ben and Kylo drove further away before getting out themselves and hiding. They didn't tell her where for whatever reason. She has her phone in the back of her pocket with Ben on speed dial just in case. She saw Snoke and slowly approached him. 

"Rey... I knew you'd come. Good girl..." She stopped and folded her arms, doing her best to remain calm. 

"What do you want?"     

"You know... your little plan is quite hilarious... you wouldn't want it to go wrong would you?" What is he talking about? He shouldn't know about the plan... 

"Hux come out." Hux came into view and slowly walked behind Rey. 

"I'd hold onto her if I were you... she will get a little... what's the word... feisty..." What the fuck is going on? Hux grabbed onto Rey's arms making sure she wouldn't be able to get out of his grip. Rey isn't too worried though. Ben is watching and so is Kylo. 

"Kylo Ren you can come out now too!" What? Soon she saw Kylo walking towards them and she was so confused. 

"Oh and Ben? I know you're hiding so just come out and stop wasting your time!" Snoke knows about the plan... how though? Ben's plan didn't work... Not long after Snoke said that she saw Ben walk towards them and stop a few feet away from Rey. 

"Come here my young apprentice..." Who? Ben? Kylo? Hux? Who the hell is Snoke talking about?! Her question was answered when Kylo walked to Snoke and stood beside him with a smirk. 

"Well done Kylo Ren. Your work will be rewarded." It finally clicked. Kylo Ren is with Snoke... Ben was the first to react.

"What the hell Kylo?! I trusted you! Fuck I trusted you with Rey!!" He went to move but Snoke immediately stopped him in his tracks. 

"Make a move Ben and Rey will get hurt." Kylo finally said something.

"You and Rey are both fucking idiots. How did you not see it? If it hasn't already pieced together in your minds... I've been working with Snoke and Hux the entire time I've been here in Naboo. I got him out of jail." So that's why Kylo never fully explained anything...

"I told Snoke this entire plan of yours Ben. Including the one you wouldn't tell Rey." Rey looked at Ben and he went pale.

"I told Snoke where Rey lived, where she goes to college, I even gave him her house keys. Snoke knows everything because of me and you two were too blind to see that. Oh and your welcome for the stab wound. He knew the best moments to get to you because Ben trusted me with you. It really is Ben's fault after all..." Rey tried to fight out of Hux's grasp while tears of frustration and anger were streaming down her face.

"You fucking bastard!!!" She was so angry right now. She kicked Hux as hard as she could and turned around to face him. She went to punch him but Kylo grabbed onto both of her arms and pulled her away. His grip was so tight she was whimpering from the pain. Once Kylo had a hold of Rey she didn't dare move. She knows he'd hurt her if she did. Snoke's full attention was now on Ben and she could see Ben's panicked expression. Soon Ben was being backed up against a wall and he was trapped. 

"Long time no see Ben... looking good..." If Kylo wasn't holding on to Rey right now she would literally go beat the shit out of Snoke. She was too focused on Ben right now that she didn't notice Hux was standing back up. How are they going to get out of this? What was Ben's other plan? Could it still possibly work? Snoke was getting very close to Ben and she's never seen Ben so helpless before... was this what it was like when Ben was young? Being abused constantly from someone he barely knew? Snoke ran his hands down Ben's arms and then his face. Ben was completely frozen and just kept staring at nothing. What made it worse was that she saw a single tear fall down Ben's face. There's nothing Rey can do. Kylo has a death grip on her and there is no way in hell she will get out of it. She started to fight out of Kylo's hold when she saw Snoke pull out a knife. Of course Kylo's grip wasn't loosening. What is it with Snoke and knives?

"Stop! Snoke! Please stop!" Snoke didn't. Instead of doing what Rey thought he would do, which is stab Ben, he slowly cut down Ben's left arm. Why wasn't Ben fighting back? He could easily get away. But no he's just standing there squeezing his eyes shut from the pain. Rey just had to watch it and listen to the hissing sounds he would make.

"Kylo! How could you just watch this happen?! It's your brother!" He didn't answer and she didn't think he would. Snoke lifted Ben's shirt up a little bit and slowly pierced through his skin. It was barely piercing and Ben was already breathing heavy and grunting.

"Wait! You said you wanted him in pain and I'm positive you want him in the most pain! There is something that will put him in the worst pain possible!" Snoke stopped and looked at Rey. Ben let out a relieved sigh and it sounded like he was in a lot of pain by the way he was breathing.

"Hurt me, torture me, anything you want... then kill me. And make Ben watch all of it." Snoke took a few steps away from Ben and fully faced Rey.

"No Rey!" When Snoke looked back at Ben so did Rey and nodded her head towards a glass bottle beside him. He hopes he understands her plan. If she can get Snoke to walk to her Ben can sneak up behind him and knock him out with the bottle. Ben glanced where Rey was looking and then Rey raised her eyebrows looking at Snoke.

"Okay Rey... well then... I do have an idea. Lets play... a game. Ben? You know the game. Tell her the rules. If you don't I'll just go straight to the pain and maybe death." Ben was tearing up when he responded.

"You have to answer Snoke's questions... if you get it wrong you take a piece of clothing off... if you get it right you get a surprise..." She didn't have to know that Ben was sexually abused to know what this little game was. Once Snoke started walking towards Rey, Ben hesitated but he picked up the bottle and quickly slammed it against Snoke's head, knocking him out. Hux and Kylo immediately reacted. They both went for Ben and Rey was released from Kylo's painful grasp. Rey went after Kylo because if he got to Ben it would not end well. She grabbed onto the back of his shirt and used all her strength to pull him away. She made him lose his balance but he turned around and backed her up by the wall Ben was just at. Rey went to punch him but he caught her hand so she went to punch him with her other hand and he did the same. He slammed her into the wall and she wasn't sure what was going to happen next.

Ben's POV:

When Ben and Kylo were hiding Ben wasn't sure where everyone was. Finn and other cops were supposed to be here but they weren't. His question was answered when Kylo spoke.

"I called Finn and told him to tell everyone that we didn't need them anymore..."

"Why?!"

"Shh! I have this under control okay? Don't worry." Once he said that Snoke told him to come out he didn't think much of it because he was told to come out to. Once he saw Kylo stand by Snoke's side he was furious. He will never forgive his brother. Especially after everything he said. It really is Ben's fault that Rey was stabbed. He trusted Kylo and because of that Rey was nearly killed.

"You fucking bastard!!!" When he saw Rey attack Hux and Kylo go towards her he wanted to stop it but he couldn't. If he moves or does anything Rey will be hurt. That's also why he stayed still when Snoke backed him up against the wall of the Diner building. When Snoke touched him it brought back all the memories.  **(A/N: I'm about to mention past sexual abuse so skip bold lettering if you don't want to read that. It isn't that bad and I don't really even say exactly what Snoke does but I know it's a bit touchy for some people.)**

**< ><><><><> _15_  years ago <><><><><>**

He's lived with Uncle Luke for 2 weeks and he already hates it. Why was he sent away? Does Jacen (Kylo Ren) miss him? Ben misses Jacen, mom, and especially dad. At least he has his friends Hux and Phasma. He walked to their house because they planned to have a play date today. He knocked on the door and was greeted by Snoke, their creepy dad. He is so weird but he just ignores him and runs downstairs to play with Hux and Phasma. He likes Phasma a little more and even has a crush on her but he won't say anything. Girls have cooties anyway. Today was a little different though... 

"Hey kids. How's it going?" Snoke only bothers them when Ben has to leave so it's a little weird for him to come downstairs now. 

"Good." They all said it in unison. 

**"Wanna play a game?" Hux seemed to know what game he was talking about but both Ben and Phasma didn't.**

**"Dad is it that game only me and you play?" Snoke nodded.**

**"Yeah want to play it with Ben this time? Phasma can watch."**

**"But dad... I don't like that game..."**

**"It will be fun. Want to play Ben?"**

**"Sure!" Phasma sat down while Snoke had Hux and Ben stay standing.**

**"Okay Hux do you want to explain to Ben how the game works?"**

**"Fine... so my dad asks questions and if we get it wrong we have to take a piece of our clothes off. If we get it right we get a surprise. I usually don't like the surprises though... they make me uncomfortable but my dad says it's okay." Ben didn't really like the sound of the game but he'll give it a shot. After a few hours of "playing the game" he decided he didn't like the game. Not at all.**

**< ><><><><> _9 years ago_ <><><><><>**

**Ben realized as the years went by that the so called game wasn't a game. After the first few weeks of supposedly playing it Ben thought it really was an actual game. After a while he began to figure out that what Snoke was doing wasn't okay. He even asked his uncle a few times if letting someone touch you and see you naked is okay. He made sure he didn't mention himself though. It got worse when Ben was going through puberty. He was having a lot of changes with his body. He's going to Hux's and Phasma's house again today. He is so sick and tired of it. Ben once said he didn't want to do this anymore about a year ago and Snoke threatened that if Ben didn't stop coming over, Snoke would get him in even more trouble than he already is. He was sent to live with Luke for getting in trouble and he'll be sent to boarding school if he gets in trouble again. Almost every day Ben goes to their house, him and Hux have a little bit of time to hangout, then Snoke comes downstairs. Once he is downstairs Ben and Hux both know that they need to start taking their clothes off. Snoke doesn't call it a game anymore. He only called it that because we were 9 and childish. Phasma is forced to watch and sometimes she's even involved. He doesn't even want to think about the things she had to do...** **Once Snoke was done with him today he went back home to Luke's just like the day before and had dinner.**

**"Did you have fun at Hux's?" No...**

**"Yep."**

**"What did you guys do?"**

**"Same thing we always do..."**

**"You guys really need to do something else besides video games." Suddenly Ben wanted to tell Luke what was going on. He's wanted to for years but never had the courage. Why is today so different?**

**"Uncle Luke?"**

**"Hmm?"**

**"I have to tell you something..."**

**< ><><><><> _Present time_ <><><><><> **

Remembering every single fucking day he had to go to Hux's and Phasma's house was making him feel numb. He couldn't look at Snoke. His touch was already enough. His memories faded away once Snoke cut a line down Ben's arm. It hurt really bad but he's sure it wasn't as bad as what Rey went through. When Snoke started poking the knife into his stomach though he couldn't hold in the groans and grunts. It was so painful and he felt like he was going to pass out. But thank fucking heavens Rey got Snoke to stop. He could tell Rey was trying to tell Ben something and he couldn't really tell. When he looked at the bottle and then back at Snoke he knew exactly what he had to do. Rey is just toying with Snoke to get him distracted. When he told Rey what the game was he knew what Snoke was planning to do. That motivated Ben even more to slam that damn bottle on Snoke's head. After that it turned into chaos. 

He saw Kylo push Rey away after being pushed him self and then he couldn't see them anymore. He was too busy dealing with Hux. He was trying to punch Ben but he blocked it every time. 

"Hux don't fight me!"

"I'll do what I want!"

"Why are you doing this?! Snoke abused you for years! Way longer than me!" Hux finally landed a punch right into Ben's shoulder and then kicked him in the shin. 

"You fucking left me behind! And you got my dad put in jail!" Ben landed a punch in Hux's face.

"That's for harassing my girlfriend!" 

"You mean your whore?!" Ben growled and punched him again before slamming him onto the ground. 

"Call her that again and I'll break your face!" Hux tried to get away from Ben so Ben turned around to check on Rey. She went to kick Kylo but he grabbed onto her leg and lifted it up. Rey wasn't at all badly affected by this because she's super flexible. She just stood there with an amused look on her face. 

"How fucking high do I have to put your leg up until it hurts?!" Ben nearly laughed at Kylo's frustration. He finally gave up and went to choke Rey but Ben made it over to him before he could. Kylo is strong but so is Ben. He punched Kylo in the jaw and that clearly pissed him off. Kylo turned towards Ben and punched him back. It turned into a whole fist fight between the two. 

"That's enough!" Snoke's voice caught both their attention. Snoke had a gun pointed at Rey's head with his other hand around her neck to hold her still. Ben immediately took his gun out and pointed it at Snoke's head. He would of taken out his gun a long time ago but if he did Rey would of been hurt. If he has to shoot Snoke there is a possibility he'll aim wrong and shoot Rey. He didn't know what to do. Then he felt a gun against his head. It was Kylo pointing the gun. He could tell Snoke was about to shoot so Ben just hopes he doesn't miss. Once he shot his gun he quickly grabbed onto Kylo's gun and threw it to the ground. He used all of his strength and punched Kylo in the face, knocking him to the ground. He looked back and saw Rey breathing heavily and Snoke dead on the ground. Did he just kill Snoke? At that moment he saw Finn and a few cops come running over to them. Awesome timing... not. The cops put handcuffs on Kylo and Hux before taking them away. Soon an ambulance came to get Snoke.

"Finn I thought Kylo called everyone off?"

"He did. But Maz reported a disturbance and we got here as fast as we could. Clearly you already took care of it." 

"Sure did..." He looked back where Rey was standing and she looked so relieved. Their eyes met and he quickly ran to Rey and engulfed her into a hug. He held her so tightly he thought she might suffocate. She's okay... he's okay... everything is alright. He kept his promise this time... His plan didn't exactly work but they're okay and that's all that matters. But now he has another problem... he killed Snoke... He fucking shot and killed Snoke...


	17. Chapter 17

Rey's POV:

Rey was so relieved. So relieved it was overwhelming. She was clinging to Ben like her life depended on it. Cops were talking, paramedics were looking over Snoke, and Finn was doing whatever he was doing while Rey and Ben just held each other in their arms. She's positive Ben killed Snoke and she hopes he won't get in trouble for that. It was out of defense and he really couldn't of done anything else.

"Ben... are you okay?"

"Don't worry about me. Are you okay?"

"I will be. Will you?"

"Maybe..." Finn eventually pulled them apart but Rey wouldn't stop touching Ben. She constantly had her arm wrapped around his. A cop, who seemed to be Ben's boss, came up to them. Ben looked a little nervous and she knew why.

"Snoke is dead. You did kill him but you won't be charged. It was an accident and it was out of defense."

"I didn't mean to kill him though..."

"That is a hard thing to go through so I suggest occasional therapy sessions. It would make you feel better about it. Also just let me know when you decide to start working again. I know you're taking work off for your girlfriend so if you need more time that is alright with me."

"Thank you." The man nodded and walked away. Rey wants to talk to Ben about what happened but she'll wait until they're home. Wait... did she just say home?

"Ready to go? I want to get out of here..." No need to ask her twice.

"Yeah just let me say bye to Finn first." Rey found Finn and she was pulled into a hug.

"Oh peanut... I'm so glad you're okay."

"Were you apart of Ben's plan he didn't tell me about?"

"Yeah... me, Kylo, and a few other cops were supposed to come out to outnumber Snoke but Kylo actually called everything off. Turns out he was working with Snoke." She still couldn't believe it. Why would Kylo do that?

"How's everything with Poe?"

"Not so good... don't worry about it though. Get home and get some sleep. I'll call you tomorrow to check on you."

"Okay. Love you Finn."

"Love you too Rey." She pulled away and smiled before turning back to Ben. He grabbed onto Rey's hand and their fingers interlaced as they walked to his car.

"Where is Kylo?"

"He was arrested. So was Hux."

"How do you feel about it? Kylo betraying us and being arrested?"

"Sad and angry. I trusted him... and what makes it worse is he was my brother. Now I have to explain to my parents everything that happened."

"I can talk to them with you..."

"Please do... When do you want to visit my parents with me anyway? If you still want to."

"Anytime really."

"I know this is short notice but... I was thinking Wednesday and we can come back Sunday." She doesn't care that that's in 2 days. She is so eager to see Chandrila and meet Ben's parents.

"That's in 2 days."

"I know. Like I said, short notice. I thought it would be a good idea because you're not dancing and you're still healing-"

"I never said no. Of course I want to!" He nodded and when they got to his car he opened the door for her. Once they were both settled in the car and he began to drive she started with more questions.

"Have you asked your parents about visiting yet?"

"Yes actually. My mom is all for it but my dad was pretty quiet. I'll call them tomorrow and double check. I'm sure that will be pointless but it's good to tell them. I'll tell them about Kylo being arrested when we get to Chandrila."

"I'm so excited!" She saw him smile out of the corner of her eye and she knew she was smiling pretty big. The drive to his apartment was silent but it wasn't awkward silence. It felt nice to be in each other's presence without talking. When they got there and walked inside Rey sat down at the counter.

"Ben, can I see your arm?" He nodded and placed his arm in front of her on the counter. It wasn't a deep cut but there is a possibility for scarring.

"Does it hurt?"

"A little..."

"And your stomach?" She almost forgot that Snoke began to pierce the knife through his stomach.

"It stings but I'm okay." He took his shirt off already knowing Rey would ask to see that next. It was a small but deep cut.

"Can I ask you something? You don't have to answer..."

"Anything."

"What 'game' was Snoke talking about?" She knew what that terrible so called 'game' was but wasn't exactly sure what happened to Ben. He clearly knew what it was. Ben sat down next to Rey and sighed.  **(A/N: Warning- Ben is about to explain his past sexual abuse so if you don't want to read that skip bold lettering)**

**"When I was 9, I went to Hux and Phasma's house all the time." Wait... Phasma? Ben must of sensed Rey's confusion.**

**"They are brother and sister. Hux, as you know, is teaching at NU and Phasma is going to NU. I didn't say anything about Phasma because you are friends with her."**

**"Oh." She didn't know any of this, but she let Ben continue.**

**"Anyway, I had this crush on Phasma... remember that." She nodded.**

**"Well one day I went to their house and Snoke wanted to play a 'game' and supposedly he had been playing it with Hux for a while already. I played it and hated it. He would always ask questions that were really really hard to figure out... I'd get them wrong and take clothes off until I was almost naked. At the time I was unashamed... I was too young to even care. But the questions I would get right were the ones I hated most. His surprises weren't good ones... he would touch me..." He was tearing up so Rey stopped him.**

**"You don't have to tell me about that."**

**"No I want to. You've told me so much about you and I need to be honest with you too..."**

**"Okay. As long as you're comfortable with it."**

**"I wanted to stop but he would always threaten me so I stayed quiet. And as I got older I got more... what's the word... embarrassed? Whatever word about my body. When you're young you don't think twice about it but when I got through puberty and started having all these changes I got very uncomfortable about it. Stop me if it's too much by the way..." Rey nodded again.**

**"Well as you know, guys get so fucking horny and they're constantly thinking about sex and shit like that. Puberty is probably the worst part of it, at least for me. That just made things so much worse..." He paused and looked away, trying to fight back tears.**

**"Snoke found out I had a crush on Phasma and took advantage of that... Do you remember me telling you about my first kiss in my Sophomore year?"**

**"Yeah..."**

**"That isn't exactly true. I hide it from everyone and do my best to hide it from myself. Phasma was actually my first kiss and time... Snoke made us... have sex... in front of him." Finally some tears escaped and Rey might even be crying herself. She hates Snoke for doing this to him.**

"When I got away... I got a girlfriend... and pretended she was my first everything but it's..." He was struggling to speak and before she knew it he burst into tears. She instantly wrapped her arms around him and did her best to comfort him.

"I ruined everything for Phasma! I was too fucking scared to tell anyone and I ruined Phasma's firsts!"

"Ben. Don't say that. It isn't your fault. It's Snoke's. Have you and Phasma ever talked things over?" He was still crying but managed to still speak.

"No. We both act like we don't know each other at NU. It's like I've never met her..."

"Okay let's not talk about this anymore... it's upsetting you."

"Alright..." She got off the counter stool and pulled Ben up with her. She wiped his tears away and pulled him into another hug. She feels awful for Ben. He is so full of guilt and regret and it isn't even his fault. He might not ever understand that and it kills her.

Ben's POV:

He isn't sure why but he is suddenly wanting to tell Rey  _everything._ Even if she doesn't want to hear it. He's been holding everything in for so long and he's beginning to break. He finally did when he explained to Rey what happened between him and Phasma. Rey was listening intently and never interrupted him. She let him speak and held him as he cried. He has never had this before... and it's nice to feel loved for once. Rey is the first person he's ever told this to. He didn't even tell his parents or Luke. He just told them the general idea of what has been happening to him. Why is it so easy to open up to Rey? She is so understanding and he doesn't deserve that. And he especially doesn't deserve to take away her virginity. He already took away Phasma's... he can't do that to Rey either... He feels sick thinking about it. He enjoyed it with Phasma because of his fucking hormones. Now he hates himself for that.

"Rey... I don't deserve you..."

"Yes you do. If it's anyone who doesn't deserve something it's me. I don't deserve you Ben." How? He's so...

"Just know that I love you and that I'm not going anywhere." How could she love someone like him?

"But you deserve someone so much better..."

"No. Because there is no one better for me. I want my first time with you Ben. I want everything with you." She pulled out of their hug and looked him in the eyes.

"I want  _you_." She made sure to put emphasis on 'you'.

"Rey-"

"Accept it. Stop being stubborn and accept it." He nodded.

"Okay. I love you and I want you too..." She smiled and kissed him on the lips. She had to lift her self up a bit but she did it.

"Now let's go to bed, get some sleep, and get on with our lives."

\---

The next morning was nice. He got up, made breakfast, and called his mom. She is probably more excited than Rey is. Rey woke up around 10 and ate the breakfast he made with him. They have today and some of tomorrow to pack for their trip. They are taking a plane tomorrow so they can't waste time on packing. But after eating breakfast he remembered Rey's wound. Shit.

"Rey!"

"Yeah?!" She was in the bathroom brushing her teeth while Ben was cleaning the kitchen from the mess they made.

"I have to change your bandages!" He has to yell because they are in separate rooms. He heard her groan and he smiled to himself. She walked out into the kitchen with just her bra and shorts on and he lost any words he needed to say.

"Change my bandages then..." He swallowed hard and found the bandages. He was really struggling. Now he knows how Rey feels when he is shirtless.

"Distracted Ben?" Yes...

"No." Rey smirked as she hopped up onto that motherfucking counter. Little minx...

"Well, change my bandages."

"Okie dokie."

"Okie dokie?" She snorted and it was the cutest thing ever.

"You're making me nervous okay?"

"I knew you were distracted..." Ben  began to change the bandaging and did his best to ignore her nearly naked body.

"Ben we should go to the beach today."

"I thought you didn't like water..."

"I don't but I want to overcome my fear and I know you'd help me."

"Alright."

"If you're reacting this way right now I wonder how you'll react when I wear a bikini." He'll lose his shit that's for sure. He finished up and Rey hopped off the counter.

"I need to buy a swimsuit so will you drive me to the mall? You can do whatever you want at the mall while I get what I need."

"Yeah. I'll help you decide." She smirked and left the room to put clothes on. He might lose control today and he hopes Rey won't hate that.

\---

They are now in a swimsuit store at the mall and Ben has just been following Rey around while she decides on which ones to try on. He's seen some he liked but he didn't say anything.

"Ben you pick some for me to try."

"Uh okay..." He grabbed the red bikini he saw and the maroon one piece. She smiled and added them to her pile of swimsuits.

"I'll buy whatever you want for you."

"Ugh no Ben! You always buy things for me. You're making me feel really guilty..."

"I want to. You need to get used to it." She sighed and continued looking. He kissed her on the cheek and wrapped his arm around her.

"You're cute." Rey rolled her eyes and finally went into a dressing room. He waited patiently until Rey called for him to come in with her. He awkwardly walked in there and she was already in the red swimsuit he picked for her. He couldn't stop the words that escaped his mouth. 

"That is hot..."

"Right?" She blushed slightly and he couldn't stop himself from checking her out. 

"If I didn't have this damn bandage on my stomach I would look a lot better in it..."

"You already do look really good in it."

"Eh..." 

"I think you're gorgeous. Forget the bandage. It doesn't change how beautiful you are." She smiled and went to change into the other swimsuit. Ben went to leave so she could have privacy but she stopped him.

"You can just stay in here so you don't have to keep coming in and out." He slowly nodded and sat down on the chair in the dressing room. He just looked away when Rey would change in and out of swimsuits and when she finally picked out which ones she wanted, they headed to Ben's apartment to change and pack a little. He ended up buying Rey the red bikini and a black mesh one piece that she picked out. She argued about him paying but he didn't give up and he succeeded. The beach is right in Naboo so Ben has no idea why he's never gone to it. He guesses he just didn't have the time. Rey changed into the red bikini and he changed into his swimsuit. After they started packing their clothes for their trip. They'd do it later but they both know they will procrastinate and wait until the last minute. They are leaving tomorrow anyway. 

\---

They finally got to the beach after packing their clothes. They will pack everything else they need later. They both got out of Ben's car and Ben held Rey's hand as they walked towards the water. 

"Nervous?"

"Very. But I trust that you won't let me drown."

"Damn right I won't." She giggled as they set their stuff down. 

"What made you want to overcome your fear all of the sudden?"

"I don't know... After last night something snapped in me and now I'm a lot braver than before." They made it to the edge of the sand where the water started and he faced her now. He grabbed onto both of her hands and gently pulled Rey into the water, making sure he went pretty slow. He saw her swallow hard and he even felt her hands shake a bit, so he reassured her that he's got her. He is so proud of Rey for even thinking about coming into the water. 


	18. Chapter 18

Rey's POV:

Rey didn't think she'd ever be standing in ocean water right now. She's always avoided beaches and swimming pools at all costs. Something in her made her change her mind though... she feels more brave and daring. After everything that happened to her and Ben, the water didn't seem so scary anymore. Of course she was still scared but not as much, thanks to Ben. 

As Ben was slowly pulling her into the water she was surprisingly not having a panic attack. Ben would stop if she asked, reassure her that he's got her, and let her hold onto him. She's sure it's a death grip but Ben doesn't seem to mind. She's finally deep enough in the water that it's up to her chest. The deeper they got, the more nervous she would get. Then she saw something in the water...

"Ah! Ben what is that?!" She pointed to the thing and Ben laughed before slowly letting her go to go under water. He came back up with a seashell.

"That's a seashell Rey..." She took the seashell from Ben and looked around for more.

"What are you doing?"

"Looking for more..." She found a big one but she didn't want to go underwater yet. 

"Will you get that one?" She pointed to where she saw it and Ben quickly got it. He had to shake his wet hair out of the way because it was all over the place. It was hot...

"Okay lets keep pulling you further in the water." Rey nodded and Ben got a hold of Rey again. He continued pulling her until she couldn't touch anymore. It was cold but she was too distracted by her fear right now to care. Ben picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist. Ben was really tall so it took a while for the water to even get up to his neck. 

"Do you want to go underwater now? I will hold on to you and I promise I won't let you go." Rey slowly nodded and prepared herself.

"On the count of 3. 1...2...3-"

"Wait, wait, wait!" She waited a few seconds and then nodded. She is so scared right now,  but she just has to remind herself that Ben has her.

"Okay I'm ready..."

"1...2...3." He gently pushed her underwater and gave her a few seconds before pulling her back up.

"See? That wasn't so bad." It really wasn't. It was kind of thrilling...

"Do you want to try along now?"

"Yeah." He slowly let go and this time she pushed herself underwater. She sank to the bottom and tried to look around underwater. Everything was blurry and it tasted salty but it was still amazing. She felt weightless. Rey pushed off the sand and came out of the water for air. As soon as she came out Ben grabbed onto her arms. 

"Rey, you did it!" 

"Oh my gosh... I did..."

"I'm so proud of you." He kissed her on the forehead and smiled.

"Come down with me this time." Ben nodded and pulled her down with him. She opened her eyes again and looked at Ben. He opened his eyes too and they made eye contact. The water was so clear and she didn't think that was even possible. She has been missing this her whole life? Well most of her life. Ben pulled her against him and kissed her while they were still under the water. They both needed air so they came back up and she latched back onto Ben. He carried her around for a little bit and eventually Rey lost all the nervousness she had. 

"I'm going to try to walk by myself..."

"Okay. You should find more seashells. What happened to the ones you got earlier?"

"I lost them but I'll find more." She looked until she had a handful of them. She started walking back to their stuff to put the shells there and Ben followed her. Once she put them in her bag, he picked her up from behind and she started laughing. He walked her back to the water and set her down. They walked around in the water looking for seashells when Rey thought of something.

"Ben? Do you think you could teach me to swim?"

"Yeah. Not here though. I'll teach you at a pool because it's easier that way."

"Okay." 

"How is your stomach feeling?" She forgot about her wound and realized it doesn't even hurt.

"Good. Sore but there isn't any pain."

"That's good." 

\--- 

They've been in the water for a few hours now and Rey is getting pretty tired so she laid her towel out and relaxed in the sun. Ben sat down next to her and started eating some of the snacks they brought. She noticed Ben continuously looking over at her and she couldn't figure out why. Sometimes he'd glance and sometimes he'd stare at her for a few seconds. 

"Okay, what Ben?" She sat up and took off the sunglasses she had on. 

"Nothing..."

"Oh my gosh just tell me." He looked at Rey and his eyes trailed down her body and back up. 

"What?!" She laughed a little and waited for him to answer. 

"You look really sexy... You're a big distraction."

"No I'm not. I barely have any fucking boobs." 

"I don't care."

"I still don't see how I could possibly be sexy."

"Have you seen yourself? Your skin is so tan and your freckles make that even better. You also have the legs of a dancer and all your other curves from dancing. Oh don't forget your ass... holy shit." She playfully rolled her eyes and looked at the ocean. 

"You're displaying yourself by spreading your body across a towel... of course you look sexy. That swimsuit makes it better." She looked back at Ben. 

"Well you're displaying yourself too. Fuck I knew you had abs by seeing you in clothes and hugging you but I didn't think they were that good. You're very buff and without your shirt I get very distracted. And then you're in the water shaking your hair around like a fucking model."

"Hmm..."

"We should get going. I'm hungry and we need to finish packing."

"Alright." They both got up and Ben put his shirt on. Damn it... He must of sensed her disappointment because he took it back off. 

"For you my love." He handed his shirt to her and smirked. She rolled her eyes in return. 

"Why are you giving this to me?"

"So you aren't walking around in a bikini."

"So?"

"I don't want people looking at you."

"There are people here already."

"Yeah like 2 families with kids. When we leave there will be other people."

"Ugh fine." She put his shirt on and put her hair up in a messy bun. Ben walked up to her and took her hair out of the bun. 

"Ben my hair is messy!"

"Put it in something else."

"Why?"

"It's making you look hot and I need to control myself." She put her hair back in the messy bun and went ahead of Ben, making sure to sway her hips a little bit. She'll tease him and see how long until he stops controlling himself. Rey heard him groan and she smiled to herself. 

"You're not going to make this easy for me are you?" 

"Nope." She skipped to the car and got in before Ben. When he got in the car he started driving them to his apartment. Once they got to the apartment complex they decided to take the elevator that leads to the upstairs apartments so Rey wouldn't have to walk up so many steps. Once they stepped inside Rey bit her lip out of habit. She saw Ben glance at her out of the corner of her eye, so she did it again. This time it was on purpose. She glanced at Ben and he was doing his best not to look at her. Rey knows what biting her lip does to him and so she does it again. Once she did it for a 4th time, Ben groaned and pinned her against the elevator wall and started kissing her. He did it pretty harshly but she didn't care. If she's honest she actually likes it when Ben is like this. 

"Stop... biting your lip..." He was still kissing her roughly and eventually put her hands above her head. The elevator dinged and Ben quickly got off Rey and stood beside her when someone walked in. After a few seconds Ben was pulling Rey out of the elevator and to his apartment. Rey bit her lip once again, but this time it wasn't on purpose. It is a habit that happens when she is nervous or around Ben. When Ben opened his door he guided Rey inside and pushed her against the closed door, kissing her again. 

"Rey... my self control is wavering... tell me to stop..." She didn't want him to stop though so why would she tell him to stop?

"No... I want you..." Her mind was made up. She is losing her virginity to Ben Solo. 

"Are you... asking me to..." His voice trailed off and she knew what he was asking. 

"Yes... I'm asking you to have sex with me..." They were kissing while speaking so they can't get full sentences out without pausing.

"A-are you sure?" 

"Yes. Please... I know you won't hurt me and you'll stop if I ask... I'm ready now."

"Okay." Ben's hands trailed down her body as she ran her hands through his hair. Ben pulled the shirt off that was covering her. His shirts are huge on Rey. He slowly guided Rey into his room and he was being very gentle. She likes his dominate side but how does she ask him to be that way? She doesn't know how to ask and she's positive Ben will be as careful and gentle as he can. 

"Ben... can you... be..." She trailed off not wanting to finish her sentence anymore. It's easier to ask in her head than out loud. Ben pulled out of their kiss and looked at her with a confused expression.

"What?"

"I like it when you're... dominate... or whatever you call it..." Now instead of a confused look he has a smirk on his face now. 

"I want you to be more..." She trailed off again and she was sure she was blushing. 

"Ahhh... I see... wow Rey... naughty girl..."  **(A/N: It gets real mature/rated R/NSFW here so skip the bold lettering if you don't want to read it. SMUT ALERT)**

**"Well you asked me to be dominate... you can't take that back..."**

**"Wasn't planning on it."**

**"I'll still stop if you ask me to."**

**"I know you will." Ben hesitated and looked like he was thinking before he roughly pushed Rey onto his bed. He got on top of her and started kissing her neck. She tried running her hands through his hair but he pinned them above her head. He looked at her as his hand moved further down her body. She's never done this before and really never thinks about it, so she just has to trust Ben, which she does. He knows what he's doing.**

**"Ben I'm going to make this terrible for you..."**

**"How?"**

**"I have no idea what I'm doing..."**

**"Don't worry... It's hard to disappoint me."**

**"That doesn't help..."**

**"I'll help you." She nodded and waited for Ben to do whatever he was going to do. Ben slowly put his hand in her swimsuit bottoms and she felt her heart begin to beat faster.**

**"Can I?" She nodded because the words weren't coming to her mouth. Before Rey could think about what's happening, Ben entered her core with his finger and she gasped at the feeling of it. She's never felt this before... not even she did this. He began to thrust his finger into her and it soon turned into 2 fingers. Once he did that she grabbed onto Ben's arms. She was breathing hard and gasping but she wasn't moaning. She doesn't want to moan but she might if her body decides to betray her today.**

**"Oh my gosh..." He stopped suddenly and she whimpered at the loss. Even though she hasn't had any experience with this, she still understands why he did that. She isn't completely clueless. He did that to get her ready for something bigger than fingers, if you know what I mean, and he stopped to put her on edge. Ben pulled Rey back up roughly so she was sitting and put his hands on the string of her swimsuit top. He was waiting for her consent and she quickly said yes. He was being sweet Ben and dominate Ben at the same time. Once she was only in her swimsuit bottoms he pushed her back down. She is suddenly feeling self conscious. She is vulnerable and exposed so she covered her chest. But Ben of course didn't like that.**

**"No." He grabbed onto her hands and put them above her head again.**

**"You're beautiful. Don't hide yourself from me." Ben let go of her hands so he could take off the last piece of clothing she had on and Rey moved her hands back over her chest. It wasn't even on purpose this time. Once her bottoms were off Ben was grabbing her wrists again.**

**"What do I have to do to keep your hands out of the way?" He smirked and she smirked back.**

**"I don't know."**

**"I have an idea but I don't know if it should happen yet. It might be better for later." Oh, so there will be a later? Gladly.**

**"What?"**

**"I could just tie your hands together but that seems a little too much... for now. You haven't done this before so it-"**

**"I don't care..." Ben eyed her up and down, looking unsure. She raised her eyebrows basically telling him to do it. Finally he froze and was off of her very fast. He came back with a shirt and got back on top of her just as fast as he left. He grabbed onto her wrists and roughly started tying them together with his shirt.**

**"I'm not using an actual tie. Too... erotic." He put her hands back above her head and got up to take his pants off. She was actually really, really nervous for that. Not what he is about to do, but what he looks like completely naked. She nervously bit her lip knowing Ben must of seen it. When he was completely naked he got back on her and she was even more nervous, if that was even possible. She swallowed hard when she saw how big his dick was.**

**"Are you sure you want this?"**

**"Yes."**

**"I'm guessing not but are you on birth control or any of that?"**

**"No..." Ben nodded and grabbed something off of his dresser. It turned out to be a condom and once he was done with dealing with that he lined himself up with Rey's body.**

**"I'll go slow."**

**"I know... don't worry. I'll tell you if it hurts." He entered her very, very slowly and it didn't hurt as much as she thought. It wasn't comfortable and painless but it didn't hurt. She tensed up,  wanting to move her hands somewhere but she couldn't.** **He** **let her get used to it and waited patiently until she told him he could start moving. He started to thrust in and out of her and the uncomfortable feeling disappeared. It turned into pleasure and soon she couldn't hold in her moans anymore. Ben wasn't quiet but he wasn't as loud as she was being. He kissed her neck at her pulse point and somehow that felt good. Ben kissed her on the lips and this time he bit her lip before pulling out of the kiss. She managed to move her arms over his neck, which held him close against her.**

**"You're so fucking tight..."**

**"And you're so fucking big..." She arched her back at a sudden hit of pleasure. She wrapped her legs around his waist and she finally came. It didn't take long for Ben to reach his release too. They both took a few breaths before Ben pulled out and situated himself. Once he was done he untied Rey's hands and kissed her wrists.**

"We didn't get very much packing done..."

"Nope." 


	19. Chapter 19

Ben's POV:

He couldn't believe what they just did. Well he really couldn't believe anything from today. He was so proud of Rey at the beach and how fast she improved on her fear. Then they get to his apartment and have sex. It doesn't feel real... But clearly it is because Rey is laying naked in his bed. She is more beautiful than he thought. Of course he knew she would be beautiful but she's even better than he imagined. He did his best to be careful with Rey but also be how she wanted him to be. He was a little surprised that Rey wanted him to be more in control. He figured she'd want to be in control but he was wrong. It did make him feel better though because now he knows for sure she doesn't think his dirtier side is bad. She likes it... 

Ben laid down next to Rey and held her against his body. She sighed and relaxed into his embrace. 

"We really need to finish packing Ben..."

"I know... I don't want to move though."

"Me either." He finally got out of bed with a groan and put on some sweatpants. Rey covered herself up with a blanket. Ben could tell she was self conscious and he couldn't understand why. He sat down on his bed and then leaned over Rey. 

"Why do you keep hiding your body from me?" 

"I don't like it and I don't see how you would..."

"Ugh do I need to say what I said earlier at the beach again?"

"Just because you think that, doesn't mean I do. I don't see how you think my body is hot. You've told me things you like about it but I just don't get it." Oh Rey... What a weirdo. 

"You're hot as fuck. Just say it."

"No."

"Say it Rey." She rolled her eyes and stayed silent. 

"Rey... just say it. It's true." She groaned and closed her eyes.

"Nooo..."

"Rey..." She opened her eyes back up and looked at him in the eyes with a smirk on her face.

"And what will you do if I don't?" Is she being serious or dirty? He couldn't tell. The smirk is making him unsure. 

"I'll punish you." 

"I'm sure you would..." Definitely dirty and not serious by the way she's smiling. 

"Rey seriously though. Say it."

"No." 

"You're going to make me sad..." He frowned and she finally gave in. 

"Ugh fine... I'm hot as fuck. Happy? That still doesn't change what I think about myself."

"Oh come on. What do you think think is so bad about yourself?"

"I hate my form first of all. I look like a fucking guy because I barely have any boobs and because I have so much muscle from dancing. I hate my arms and abdomen because they have cuts all over them, I'm too skinny, and I just don't think I look pretty." He didn't think any of that would bother her. He also didn't think about how her cutting scars would affect her. 

"Babe... You're literally perfect in my eyes. I don't think you look like a guy. Your boobs are just fine, your muscle gives you awesome curves, you're not too skinny, and your cuts don't change anything for me. You're beautiful and I swear I'm not lying. If were talking about your personality then I have a whole other list of things that makes you beautiful. There is just one flaw that I notice..."

"What?"

"You don't believe anything I just said. I want that to change. At least try." She sighed and looked away.

"Look at me." She did. 

"Please try."

"Okay." He got off the bed and helped her out. She's being a little more confident and that satisfies Ben for now. She picked up the shirt she was wearing earlier and put it on without anything under it. Damn... They both walked into the living room where their stuff was and finished up their packing. They're leaving tomorrow afternoon and he's a little nervous. He hasn't seen his parents in a while and he has to tell them about Kylo. 

It was about midnight by the time they finished and they were still wide awake. Rey was laughing really hard about really dumb things and he was rather amused by it. She has the giggles and it's probably from being tired. 

"Rey we need to get you to sleep." 

"Nah... I'm good." He pulled Rey on top of him and gave her a quick kiss.

"Do you regret having sex?" He was curious and hoped she didn't regret anything.

"No. Of course not."

"That's good."

"Do you regret killing Snoke? How are you feeling about the whole thing?"

"I feel really guilty but I wouldn't say I regret it... If I wouldn't of shot him you'd probably be dead instead." Rey relaxed against his body and wrapped her arms around him. After a few minutes she suddenly pulled away and started wincing as she put her hands on her stomach.

"Holy shit..." She was squeezing her eyes shut and her breathing was heavy.

"Rey what's wrong?"

"My stomach is hurting really bad... Hold on..." He gently lifted Rey off of him and got up himself so he could go get her pain medicine and more bandages. He brought them over and waited for Rey to pass through the pain. She gets random sharp pains where she was stabbed and right now was one of those.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah..." He handed her some medicine and she quickly took it. Once she did he lifted the shirt up a little bit to change the bandage but he completely forgot she was still naked under the shirt. 

"Ben... you're funny..."

"What?" She giggled and laid down so Ben could change her bandage easier. That didn't help at all...

"Oh nothing..." Ben did his best to focus on her stomach and finished bandaging her wound. He sat back on his knees and once he did Rey was on hers too kissing him. She had pulled him against her roughly and their lips collided, while they were on their knees. It was the last thing he thought she'd do but he isn't complaining. He placed his hands on her lower back and deepened the kiss. He didn't realize he was pushing her until she was laying down and he was on top of her. She moaned into their kiss and that gave him the opportunity to put his tongue in her mouth. He put his knee in between her legs and she moaned again. He stopped kissing her lips and started kissing her neck instead.  **(A/N: By now I hope you know what bold lettering means... Smut warning)**

**He began to slowly kiss down her body, eliciting more moans from Rey. He kissed over her clothed sternum and then made it to her abdomen. He lifted the shirt up and kissed over her scars. He looked up at Rey as he went lower and lower. Ben hopes she tells him to stop if she wants him to. She never did so he continued. Once he made it by her thighs he looked back up at Rey.**

**"Can I?"**

**"I don't know what you're gonna do but go ahead. You know a lot more than me." She doesn't know very much about this kind of stuff but that's okay. He'll teach and help her.**

**"Tell me to stop if you don't like this."**

**"Okay." He kissed her inner thighs before finally putting his mouth where it shouldn't be. He's thought about going down on her but he never thought she'd let him. Rey didn't seem uncomfortable, in fact she moaned and ran her hands through his hair, so he continued. She turned into a moaning mess as Ben sucked and lapped at her core. She arched her back and squeezed her legs around him, so he held her down with one hand and spread her legs with the other.**

**"Oh my gosh Ben... Don't stop..." He is more than happy to oblige. She tasted divine and he couldn't get enough of it. Rey seemed she couldn't get enough of it either.**

In the middle of this his phone rang but he didn't stop. He'll answer it later. Once it stopped ringing, Rey's phone started ringing. Who would be trying to get a hold of them this late at night? His mom? Dad? No because they don't have Rey's number... It has to be one of Rey's friends because he doesn't have any. Literally.

**The phones finally stopped and Ben could focus on what he was doing. He wasn't sure what Rey was thinking during the phone shit but she didn't seem worried so he kept going until she came undone. She came and put her hand over her mouth to block out her moan before he slowly pulled away and watched Rey as her breathing calmed. She was flushed and looked tired. It is weird to see her go from hyper and all over the place to this exhausted looking Rey.** **Ben pulled the shirt back down and helped her sit up. She looked at him like she wanted to ask something but she stayed quiet. What is going on in that head of hers?**

**"Ben... Can I- do you want me to- like... do the same for you...?" He smiled at how awkward she was being.**

**"Nah. Let's just see who called us and if you really want to you can do that for me another day."**

**"But Ben you can't just do that for me and not let me do the same..."**

**"Really it's fine." She pointed to his pants and he chuckled.**

**"But you're-" He is well aware he is hard.**

**"I know. I'll be okay." She gave him a guilty frown and got up to check her phone and handing him his. He doesn't want Rey to feel pressured to do something. She may do it for him but she probably isn't even comfortable with it. He would be able to tell if she really, really wanted to suck him off.**

"Fuck... Finn called. Uh oh..." They both know what this means... She called Finn back and walked into the kitchen as she was talking. 

"Sorry Finn I didn't answer because I was... uh... sleeping." Oh boy...

"Oh Ben was also sleeping... Do I have to? Finn... it's almost 1 in the morning. You know I'm leaving tomorrow with Ben." Finn seemed to be talking for a while.

"Why can't you just pick him up?" Shit...

"Ugh. Fine. Just text me the address. You owe me." She hung up and groaned really loud before throwing herself on the couch.

"Looks like I'm going to pick a drunk Poe up. You can get to sleep. I'll be back." She got up to get her car keys.

"No I'll come with."

"Ben I'll be fine. Get some sleep. I'll feel bad." He isn't letting Rey go by herself at 1 am. Hell no. Yes he's tired but Rey is more important.

"Nope. I'm going with you." He took Rey's keys so she wouldn't protest and put a shirt on. She sighed and left the room to change. She came back out in sweats and a crop top and it was hot as hell. Especially with her extra messy bun.

"What exactly are we picking up Poe for?"

"He's drunk and Finn can't get him because he needs his sleep. Apparently I don't need mine. Poe is a dumb ass for getting himself into this..."

"Well if I remember correctly you were once drunk and I had to save you."

"Oh shut up Ben."

"Isn't it Bun?" She glared at him and it made him laugh. Those texts from when she was drunk are not funny. 

"I'll kick your bun if you don't shut up. Let's go Bun."

Rey's POV:

What Ben just did to her or for her was crazy, but not in a bad way. She is so inexperienced with anything sexual so she had no idea what he was doing as he was kissing down her body. The feeling of it was amazing and she had no idea that existed. She knew doing that to a guy existed but not for girls. She is embarrassingly inexperienced. But Ben doesn't seem to care. He cares about her and she knows he'll teach her A LOT.

Now they're going to get Poe and she's honestly pissed off. It ruined her and Ben's moment. But it's worth the gaze that Ben was constantly giving her on their way out of his apartment. He looks at her like she's the most interesting person alive and it makes her feel loved and important.

They made it to the address Finn sent her and realized it was a bar.

"Fuck. I can't go in there... I'm not 21." Ben nervously glanced at Rey before smiling and raising his eyebrows.

"What are you talking about Rey? You are 21..."

"What no I'm-"

"Yes. You are... Let's go." What? He knows she is only 20.

"Ben what-"

"Just go with it." She realized Ben is going to try and sneak her in. Wow Ben... He's a cop and now breaking a law. She never expected him to do that. Before they made it to the door he stopped Rey.

"We need to make you look older so they don't question anything. I apologize in advance." He pulled her shirt down a little to show her cleavage and pulled a sleeve down off her shoulder. You'd think that wouldn't do much but when she looked at her reflection in a car window, she nearly flipped at how slutty she looked.

"Take your hair out." She obeyed and then Ben fixed it up so it didn't look like she just woke up. Next he tightened the string on her sweatpants to make it tighter around her butt.

"Do you have makeup with you in your purse?"

"Just eyeliner, mascara, and lipstick..." He gestured for her to hand him her bag and she did. He got out her makeup bag and used the light of street lights to see her face.

"Ben what are you-"

"You'd be surprised at what I can do. Close your eyes." She did and she felt the eyeliner pen against her eyelids. Ben better not fuck it up. When he was done she looked at her reflection again and once again she was shocked. He did her eyeliner better than she does it...

"Holy shit Ben."

"Lips." She bets he'll do just as good with the lipstick. When he finished she was correct. She was beginning to not look like herself. She rarely wears makeup and she so happened to have red lipstick. He finished her makeup with mascara and handed her stuff back. Ben stepped away and looked her up and down.

"The sweatpants are throwing it off a bit but it will do."

"Ben why are you doing this? This is so unlike you."

"I think it's time to live a little. Plus I'm not going in there alone to get Poe. I'd probably punch him." She doesn't have to ask to know why Ben would punch him. It's either because Poe kissed Rey or because he was an asshole to Rey. If not then she has no idea why.

Ben grabbed onto Rey's hand and led her inside. Usually at bars they ask for ID if they look underage or just cause. Ben probably made her look like this so no one would be suspicious.

"Walk more slow and confident."

"Sexy?"

"Yeah..." She did her best and walked a little ahead of Ben so he could see if she's doing it right. Apparently she was because when she looked back at Ben he was licking and biting his lip. She ignored it and continued walking through the bar, looking for Poe. Her and Ben passed a few workers and she was nervous they'd ask for ID but they just stared at her body. Ewwww... She had to dodge her way through crowds of people dancing before finding Poe with some girls. 

"Oh hey Rey!"

"Poe we have to go. Come on."

"Oooh. We heading to your place?"

"No. Yours."

"See you ladies. I have a better girl to hook up with."

"Oh my hell Poe. No." She got a hold of Poe and did her best to pull him out of the crowd. Ben helped and seemed used to this kind of thing. 

"How old is Poe?"

"Oh you're going to make me look all slutty and sneak me in here and you're going to worry about Poe's age?" She meant to tease him but he took it a little seriously.

"Rey I didn't mean to make you look-"

"Oh my gosh Ben. I'm teasing you. Poe is 22 don't worry." Once they got Poe outside he started to say more. 

"Shit Rey. You look hot tonight." Rey rolled her eyes and looked over at Ben to see him staring at her. She knows it's because of how she looks right now but that's his fault. Poe was trying to kiss Rey as they were walking and each time she would slap him away. It finally made Ben snap when Poe grabbed onto her boob. Ben grabbed onto Poe and forcefully yanked him on the other side of Ben, away from Rey. Rey would of fixed her shirt but she's keeping it so Ben goes crazy. When they got to her car Ben nearly threw Poe in the backseat. Once the door was shut Ben backed Rey up to the back of the car and pressed her against it before kissing her. He rested his hands on the car while Rey wrapped hers around Ben's waist. They pulled away for breath and Rey hurried away into the driver's seat. Ben was in the car shortly after her.

"Hey I wasn't done..."

"Ben we have plenty time at home."

"Home?" She's been calling it home lately. Maybe it is...

"Yeah. Wherever you are is home for me."

"That was the cheesiest thing I've ever heard you say."

"Oh shut up or we won't continue later." 


	20. Chapter 20

Ben's POV:

Ben woke up at about 9 am so he decided to make breakfast before Rey was awake. Last night was pretty fun. He knew he shouldn't of snuck Rey in the bar but as many people have told him, he needs to live a little. Even though they'd only be in that bar for probably not even 10 minutes, he still needed to make Rey look older. That made her look even hotter than she already was so it was hard for Ben but that's his fault. Once they got Poe home him and Rey went to bed. He remembered Rey calling his apartment home and it made his heart flutter. Even if it didn't mean anything. 

Ben set his thoughts aside and kissed Rey's cheek before he got out of bed and made his way to the kitchen. They need to leave by 11 so they can get to the airport in time. He quickly made some pancakes before going to wake Rey up. 

"Rey wake up..." He pulled the blanket off her and gently shook her awake. 

"I made you food..." Rey opened her eyes barely and smiled. 

"Food?"

"Yes, now get up so you can eat and get ready." 

"Ugh... Can I sleep for 5 more minutes?"

"Your food will get cold."

"Well shit." She sat up slowly and wrapped a blanket around her before she stood up and left the room. Ben followed her and gave her some pancakes when she sat down. 

"Oh my gosh! You made fucking pancakes!" He laughed at how excited Rey got and sat down next to her to eat too. 

"Ben... do you think your parents will like me?" She nervously picked at her food with her fork and looked up at Ben. Her question was very easy to answer. 

"Sweetheart, of course they will." 

"I feel like they won't..."

"They will. I don't see how they wouldn't." Rey silently finished her breakfast and walked out onto his balcony. He rarely goes out to his balcony but Rey likes to look at the view he has. From his balcony you can see most of the city. It's really pretty at sunset and sunrise because you can see the purple, pink, and yellow sky through the city buildings. Ben joined Rey once he finished eating and they stood together looking at the sunrise that was almost done rising. 

"It's weird to think that just a few months ago, we didn't even know each other." What Rey said was true. It is weird to think about. They met in August, when he got his job and when her dancing season started. Now it's October and Halloween is coming up. In fact Halloween is 2 days after Rey and Ben get back and Rey's 10 days of healing would be over. Rey will be able to start dancing again and then she has her auditions 4 days later. 

"You were here just moving in and I was somewhere out there. If someone would of told me I'd slam into the love of my life I wouldn't of believed them at the time. We literally collided. In this big mess of a city." 

"Look at you being all philosophical."

"It's true though. We collided. Literally. I don't know how else to explain it. I seriously think that even if I wasn't a dancer and you weren't a cop and you didn't even live here, we still would of met somehow." Ben wrapped his arm around Rey's shoulder and smiled. 

"I love you Rey..."

"I sound crazy I know."

"No you don't sound crazy. You're right. We collided just like you said. In this big mess of a city."

\---

Him and Rey are at the airport now with all their stuff. They just went through security and he could tell Rey was nervous to go on the plane. He was nervous too but not about the plane. He's nervous to see his parents and telling them about Kylo. But he needs to be there for Rey right now so he set his thoughts aside. Once they sat down in their seats on the plane, Rey was nervously biting her lip and rubbing her hands together.

"You'll be fine, Rey. I'm right here." She nodded and closed her eyes.

"I'll hold your hand if you want."

"Please?" He grabbed onto her hand and rubbed his thumb over her knuckle to soothe her. 

"Thank you Ben..." For the rest of the plane ride Rey was a nervous wreck. He did his best to comfort her and it worked just a little bit. He doesn't blame her for being nervous. It's her first time on a plane and she is about to meet his parents. His dad is picking them up from the airport. That should be great... 

"Ben?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I still see your pictures from when you were a kid?"

"Of course."

"Good." He nearly forgot and now he's nervous about something else. What will Rey think of him as an awkward kid? 

\---

The plane ride passed quickly and soon they arrived in Chandrila. Him and Rey received their bags and Rey fixed her hair up before they made their way to the gate where Han is picking them up. Fuck, Ben was nervous... He was running his hands through his hair and he was biting his nails. 

"Ben are you okay?"

"Nope."

"Nervous?"

"Yep."

"I'm here. Don't worry about everything that could go wrong and just enjoy what's happening right now."

"O-okay. I'll try." He felt his heart beat faster when he saw his dad. It's only been since July-ish but he's still nervous as fuck. Ben built the courage up and led Rey over to his dad. 

"Hi dad."

"Hi Ben. You look different... did your hair grow?" It did but he didn't think anyone would notice. Especially his dad of all people. 

"Yeah... I've been a little distracted to keep it at a decent state."

"No I think it looks good..." Since when does his dad compliment him? 

"Well anyway, dad this is Rey." Han smiled and held his hand out towards Rey. She smiled in return and shook his hand. 

"So this is the girlfriend Ben has told me and Leia all about... You're very pretty. Ben was right."

"Thank you." 

"Well it's nice to meet you. It's about time Ben finds someone that is good for him."

"It's nice to meet you too." 

"Well lets go. Leia is impatiently waiting for you two and would be mad to know that I'm keeping her waiting." As they were walking Han whispered,

"I like her. Don't fuck this up." Yeah because that makes him feel better... Once they made it outside he smiled at Rey's reaction. Her jaw dropped and she looked so happy in this moment. As they walked to Han's car, Ben wrapped his arm around Rey's waist.

"What do you think of Chandrila?"

"It's beautiful! Gorgeous even!" Ben looked down at Rey's beaming smile. 

"Very gorgeous..." Rey didn't seem to notice he meant that towards her and not the city but that's okay. Ben opened the car door for Rey and let her sit in the front with his dad. Any chance to not talk to him... During the car ride to his old house, Han and Rey talked and got to know each other. At least they get along...

"Has Ben seen you dance before?"

"Yes. Pretty often actually. No one really cared about my dancing until I met Ben. He even danced with me once." Oh fuck...

"Oh did he really? That would be interesting to see..." Rey smiled and looked back at Ben apologetically. They finally made it to his old house and Ben carried Rey's bags for her. He knows Rey wants to carry her own stuff but if Leia saw he wouldn't hear the end of it. Han opened the door and Ben saw surprise on Rey's features. He pretty sure it's because of his house that's too big for 2 parents to be living in it. As soon as they walked in Leia approached them and immediately pulled Ben into a hug. He had to bend down a little bit because he was so tall but that was okay.

"I've missed you Ben..." She pulled away and smiled.

"You're just as handsome before you left..." She brought her attention to Rey and pulled her into a hug this time. Rey smiled and hugged her back. When Leia pulled away she grabbed onto Rey's hands.

"You're just as beautiful as I thought you'd be. Maybe even more. I'm excited to get to know you Rey." 

"It's nice to meet you Mrs. Organa."

"Oh please. Call me Leia." Rey nodded and all of the sudden Leia was pulling a camera out. 

"You two get together. I need more pictures."

"Mom no-"

"Ben just listen and stop complaining for once." Ben listened and wrapped his arm around Rey's shoulder. Rey wrapped her arms around his middle, making it so that she was turning into him slightly. They smiled and Leia took the picture.

"Oh you two are such a cute couple! I can't wait for you to get married and have my grandchildren-" 

"Okay mom." He wants all of that but not for a while. And he doesn't really know if Rey even wants that. 

"Well I'm cooking dinner so make yourselves at home. You two will stay in Ben's old room so Ben can show you Rey. It's such a pleasure to have you here." Leia gets so excited it drives him nuts.

Rey's POV:

She wasn't exactly sure what to expect... Ben's parents aren't what she expected. They're great of course, but she expected them to be less kind. Ben's description of them wasn't showing if that's how they were. When she met Han she instantly connected with him. It was easy to talk to him. When she met Leia, Rey felt like she had a mother again. Rey loved Leia already. 

Chandrila was also more beautiful in person. Ben said it is but when you really get to know it, it isn't what it seems. She wonders what he meant by that... Ben's house was bigger than she expected too. Hell it was a mansion. No wonder why Ben has such a good apartment back in Naboo... 

"Sorry if this is a lot... My parents can be... overwhelming..." He was nervously running his hands through his hair again as he led her upstairs. 

"It's fine. I'm not overwhelmed. Your parents are great."

"If only they were this way to me..." Rey's heart clenched at his sentence. Ben showed her the multiple rooms that aren't used for anything, the game room, Leia's office, all the bathrooms, and there were quite a few, Kylo's old room, his parents room, and finally his. He set their stuff down and Rey observed the room. 

"It's exactly how I left it..." Ben had a bed next to his window and a small desk next to it. He had two shelves of books that all looked nearly the same. Rey looked closer at the books and noticed every single book was a Star Wars book. His walls were a grey color with posters of different music bands and movie posters. There was a lot of Star Wars on his wall... 

"Fuck I was a nerd..." 

"You like Star Wars?"

"Like? No. I love it. Well being the adult I am supposed to be, I shouldn't but I'm still secretly obsessed." Rey thought the small red on his cheeks was cute. He is cute when he's embarrassed. 

"I've never seen Star Wars... or read any of the books... but I've heard of it..." Ben looked like she just killed his mom.

"What?! This is a fucking emergency!" He frantically looked through a shelf by the TV in his room and pulled out 8 different movies. 

"We are watching every Star Wars movie during this trip. I don't care what you say." Rey smiled and looked at all the books.

"How many Star Wars books are there?"

"I have all 154 of them. I know I'm insane." Why hasn't he ever told her this before? 

"No you're not. I like it. I'm guessing they're all in order?" Ben blushed again and nodded. Why is he so embarrassed?

"Can I read them?"

"It will take you forever but knock yourself out. You can take how ever many you want home and if you want to finish the rest then next time were here you can take more." Rey smiled and pulled the first book out and set it next to her bag. She'll starting reading it tonight. 

"I wouldn't expect a 24 year old to still have this in his room..."

"Oh well I left for college and left it how it was. I came back for a few months and didn't bother to change it since I was leaving anyway." 

"Can I see Kylo's room?" Ben looked at her weird but nodded.

"I just want to see how emo it most likely looks." He chuckled and brought Rey to the door he pointed at earlier. They went inside and she snorted. Everything was black. Literally. There wasn't a single color other than black. 

"I went through an emo faze but it wasn't nearly as bad..." Ben going through an emo faze? Oh how amusing that would of been... 

"If you don't believe me I have pictures... fuck I question a lot." They went downstairs and Ben showed Rey even more bathrooms and rooms before showing her the kitchen and living room with a flat screen TV and a fire place. Ben eventually brought her outside in the back yard to a pool and a hot tub. 

"We can swim sometime if you want. I'll teach you like you wanted."

"Yeah." Ben brought Rey back inside and before they passed his parents Ben stopped.

"After dinner we're watching Star Wars. Rey hasn't seen any of the movies." Han answered first.

"What?! Forget the dinner!" Rey smiled at how shocked everyone was. Leia was more subtle though.

"You boys be nice."

"But mom she's never seen Star Wars."

"Big deal." Ben's mouth dropped and shook his head before leading Rey into the living room. 

"Ugh I can't wait until December..."

"Why?"

"Well December is a huge month. First we have your Nutcracker stuff, and don't deny that you will get a part, then "The Last Jedi" comes out, and finally Christmas."

"The Last Jedi?" (A/N: I'm aware this isn't very logical because all the characters are in the Star Wars movies but hey it's a story so who cares?)

"Holy fuck..." He pulled out a large book and sat down on the couch. He patted beside him and she sat next to him.

"Here's the pictures you've been wanting to see..." Rey nervously opened it and began to look through the countless baby pictures of Ben and Kylo.

"Who is who? I can't tell..."

"Honestly I don't know..." That's helpful. She finally found some baby pictures of just Ben and of just Kylo. She could tell who is who by the title on the page. She skipped Kylo's baby pictures and went straight to Ben's. He was so chubby and cute!

"Oh my gosh! Cuteness overload!" Ben laughed and kept blushing. She hasn't ever seen him blush so much. She finally found a few naked baby pictures of him in the tub and she thought it was adorable. His curly dark hair hanging just above his fucking adorable ears... 

"Aww... Little baby Ben taking a bath... and your little penis..." Ben threw his head back and covered his face.

"Oh god! I'm gonna pretend you didn't just say that..."

"Well I did." Ben uncovered his face and smirked. 

"Well it's not so small anymore... Is it Rey..." Rey looked up at Ben and giggled. 

"Yeah... And you're gonna fuck me with it later..." Ben's face was priceless and she was glad his parents were too busy cooking. She continued looking through the pictures and finally got to pictures where she could finally tell who is who. Ben's hair has always been slightly longer and his smile compared to Kylo's glare pretty much gave it away. 

"You weren't an awkward kid..."

"Yes I was..."

"No. Look how cute you were! You looked so sweet and Kylo looked so fucking rude and mad all of the time." Ben shrugged and now Rey was getting into his teenager pictures. Oh boy... She was starting to notice more physical differences now. Kylo always wore black and Ben always wore more color. His hair was longer and curlier while Kylo's was shorter. The most noticeable thing was size difference. Kylo was taller by a few inches and definitely had a lot more muscle. How did Ben go from a skinny, self conscious teenager, to this well built, hot as fuck man? But there was never a picture of Ben and Kylo together...

"Why were you so tiny compared to Kylo?"

"He was always working out and shit like that. I found no point in it until I started at the Police academy. Hell I was really that skinny?" It suited Ben but she knew he didn't like it. 

"Well anyway I started working out and getting in shape and now I'm like this." Rey looked through more pictures and she realized something... Ben was sent away when he was 9... These pictures were taken when he was living with Luke...

"You were living with Luke when these pictures were taken?"

"Yeah... It's kind of part of the reason why I'm so skinny and bony." Each time she turned a page she noticed Ben wasn't smiling as much in pictures. She eventually got to a point where there wasn't one picture of him smiling at all. He looked tired and worn out. Like something was bothering him in these pictures...

"Is this when your emo faze started?"

"No... Not even close... This was when Snoke was abusing me..." It hit her like a rock to the face. The older Ben got the more sad and broken he got. He had no reason to smile as the years went on... Finally, Finally Rey found a picture of him smiling and it was in his room. With all his Star Wars shit... She smiled and was happy that this was when he had found peace. After passing a few pages it turned into a shit show. It was hard not to laugh. 

"Hey! Don't laugh! I fucking know!" The pictures she was seeing was for sure the time he was going through his 'emo faze'. He was wearing all black, he always had his headphones on, and is he wearing... eyeliner? Her question was answered when she saw his Junior year school picture. He was wearing eyeliner... She couldn't stop herself from laughing.

"I'm sorry! Ah It's just too funny!" Ben was smirking and rolling his eyes. 

"Oh my gosh you're wearing eyeliner?!" 

"No..." And here comes Ben's red face again... so cute!

"Wait, wait, wait! Is that why you did my eyeliner so well last night?!"

"Uh... maybe..." He paused and hid his face in the couch.

"Ugh I told you!" She finally went through more pictures and noticed Ben in pictures with a girl. One that made her stomach do flip flops was one of Ben and this girl kissing. She was overcome with jealousy and quickly changed the page.

"What?" Ben was sitting back up and looking at her with concern.

"Nothing." He turned the page back and looked over the page before realizing what she saw. 

"Oh... That's not a big deal..." It wasn't but why was she feeling so jealous?

"I know... This sounds dumb but it makes me just a little jealous..."

"I love you and only you." He wrapped his arms around Rey and held her tightly against him. He let go and took the picture out and set it down. 

"Dinner is ready!"

"You can finish later. Lets go eat." He stood up and pulled her with him towards the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **I hope you got why this story is called Collided. Also I hope you got why I made the story cover a picture of a city. If you have any suggestions or questions I'd be happy to hear them :)**


	21. Chapter 21

Ben's POV:

Rey looking at all of his childhood pictures was nerve wracking but he got through it. She seemed to like them. She also seemed to really like his room. Fuck he was a nerd but Rey's smile said otherwise. He thought it was cute that Rey got jealous by looking at a picture of him and his ex. He probably would be too if Rey even had an ex. But he hopes dinner distracts her.

"You can finish later. Lets go eat." He brought Rey in the kitchen and pulled a chair out for her to sit down at the table. Ben knows he should probably tell his parents about Kylo really soon but he's so nervous. Once Rey was sitting, Ben helped Leia set the plates out with food on them. He would glance at Rey constantly because he couldn't stop looking at her beautiful smile as she talked to Han.

"Ben... She's so sweet." Leia whispered as they sat down to join Rey and Han.

"Yeah. She really is." Ben and Rey were sitting across from Han and Leia. Everyone ate but Ben was a little slow because he's anticipating when he should tell his parents about Kylo's current situation.

"So Rey, where are you from?" Leia distracted him from his thoughts and now his attention was back on Rey.

"I'm from Naboo. I lived in Jakku for a few months when I was little but I've been in Naboo for nearly my whole life."

"Are you ever planning on leaving?"

"At the moment, no. Maybe? I'm not sure yet. My family is the main reason why I want to stay."

"I'd love to meet your family." Ben shot Leia a look, telling her not to go there.

"Oh... Umm... I don't exactly have a family anymore. I like to think they're with me though."

"What do you mean?" Mom... no...

"My family is dead. Parents died in a car accident, grandparents died from unknown causes, and I don't have any aunts or uncles. I can't leave Naboo... too many memories are left there."

"Oh that's so sad... I'm sorry."

"I've been on my own since I was 17 but it's been manageable. It's been tough but when I met Ben it all got better. He's helped me with a lot."

"Well that's good. It's good to know one of my sons is doing well with his life..." Ben couldn't stop himself from laughing. He got a glare from his mother but oh well.

"Speaking of sons, how's Kylo doing?" Well shit...

"Umm... he's... kinda..."

"Ben... How is Kylo doing?"

"He's... sorta... you know... not... well..." Good fucking job Ben.

"Ben...?" The way she said his name and the way she's looking at him right now does not help.

"Okay so there's something I need to tell you..." Rey nervously looked at Ben then back at her food.

"So.... Kylowasarrested." He spoke so fast it sounded like one word.

"What?!" Han gave a strange look but stayed quiet.

"So... a few days ago... you know Snoke? Well we had to meet with him or he'd hurt Rey again, blah blah blah. Turns out Kylo was working with Snoke the entire time he was in Naboo. Because of Kylo, Rey was stabbed... and now he's in jail because of that and assaulting me and Rey... oh and because he had a gun illegally."

"What?! Benjamin Linnell Solo! Why wasn't I told this WHEN IT HAPPENED?!" Rey awkwardly looked around and he could see it in his peripheral vision.

"Sorry... I was scared... Also I wanted to tell you in person. Not over the phone..." Leia took a few deep breaths and seemed more calm now.

"Where is Snoke now?"

"I kinda... killed him..."

"Wha-"

"Let me explain. If I wouldn't of killed Snoke, Rey would be dead instead. It was defense." Han finally cut in.

"Well Kylo deserves to be in jail. He's an asshole."

"Han!" Leia slapped Han's shoulder and glared at him.

"What? It's true. He's always been a jerk and now I find out about this? We're not bailing him out." Leia shook her head and brought her attention back to Ben.

"Well let's just put this aside and have a lovely night. We'll deal with this later. I apologize Rey."

"It's okay." Everyone finished eating in silence and once Ben was done he brought Rey up to his room with him.

"Fuck I really should of gave them the news not at dinner..." Rey shut the door and sat down on the bed.

"Well you had to tell them sooner or later." She paused and smiled.

"Benjamin Linnell Solo?"

"Yes. Don't laugh." He pointed at Rey and smirked.

"What's Kylo's middle name? Or full name?"

"Jacen Dela Solo." Ben sat down next to Rey and looked around his room. It's weird to be back...

"I like yours better..." He smiled and laid down, pulling Rey on top of him.

"And what's your full name?"

"Rey Catherine Kenobi." (A/N: Look up the meaning of Catherine. It's so Rey) 

"Catherine? I didn't expect that. It's pretty and fits your name but I didn't expect it."

"Well I didn't expect Linnell either." She smiled and lowered her face down to kiss Ben. He pulled her tighter against him as the kiss deepened and flipped Rey over on her back. He felt Rey's hands reach for Ben's shirt so he stopped her.

"No... We have a movie to watch." He smirked and got up to get the first Star Wars movie to watch. He heard Rey groan.

"Get your pajamas on and get comfy." Rey sighed and got up before getting out shorts and Ben's shirt. So that's where that shirt went... He didn't feel like changing so he just waited for Rey to change and then they headed downstairs to the living room. Leia was sitting down while Han was finishing cleaning up the kitchen. Ben put the movie in the DVD player and started the movie. He grabbed a few blankets and sat down on the couch across from his mom. He made space for Rey to sit next to him but she had other ideas. She sat on his lap instead and pulled the blanket over them. When they heard the Star Wars theme song, Han pretty much bolted into the living room and sat down next to Leia.

"I'm gonna make this hard for you..." Ben nearly choked on air at what Rey said and she just moved a little bit to drive him crazy. She was sitting right on his lap and moving. This is going to turn into a problem. Little minx...

Rey's POV:

This movie they're watching is weird. Yes it's very good and interesting but weird. Rey can see why so many people love Star Wars. Especially Ben... Even though Rey was paying attention to the movie, she couldn't stop herself from teasing Ben. Not verbally. She'd occasionally grind against Ben and he'd either stop Rey from doing it again or he'd groan a little. Luckily, Han and Leia weren't noticing. If they do notice they haven't said anything.

"Rey if you don't stop you might regret it..." Ben's words weren't threatening but they were meant to stop her. She didn't of course. She'd like to see how she'll regret it. When she went to grind against him again he stopped her by grabbing onto her hips. Rey finally decided to stop for Ben and relaxed against him. He had other plans though. Ben casually moved his hand on her bare thigh and Rey was curious as to what he was thinking. Luckily there was a blanket over them. He slowly moved his hand to her inner thigh and she shivered at the touch.

"How are you cold Rey? We have 2 blankets over us." She knew he was smirking and she didn't even have to look at him. He said it louder than what he said before and Leia finally looked over at them.

"Would you like me to turn the AC off?"

"Oh, no I'm fine." Leia nodded and turned her attention back to the TV. She felt Ben's breath by her left ear and it was driving her crazy.

"I'll keep you warm..." She nearly gasped at what he said.  **(A/N: MATURE STUFF AHEAD)**

**Ben moved his hand to the waist of her shorts and slowly dragged his hand over her skin as he made his way into her shorts. Goosebumps formed on her skin from the feeling and she did her best not to shiver again. She glanced over at Leia and when Rey was about to say something Ben thrust his finger inside her. Rey tensed up and grabbed onto Ben's arm. When he started thrusting 2 fingers inside her slowly it was harder to stay quiet. It was also difficult to even pay attention to the movie. What was even going on? If Ben decides to quiz her and she doesn't know anything then that's his-**

**"Rey are you okay?" Leia looked concerned while Han was just watching the movie.**

**"Uh yes. I-I'm just fine..." Rey tried so hard not to let her body move or jerk. She glanced back at Ben and he was just casually doing this to her while staring at the movie.**

**"Do you need anything?"**

**"N-no, thank you." Leia slowly nodded and stood up. She walked into the kitchen and Ben started to thrust harder.**

**"Ben-"**

**"Shh..." She was coming close to her release and she couldn't stop herself from squeezing her legs closed on Ben's hand. It was nearly too much and she can't hold still. She was about to come when Ben stopped. It was the most frustrating thing she's felt in a while. She was about to quietly say something to Ben but he beat her to it.**

"I don't reward naughty girls..." Once again he whispered into her ear and it made her shiver.

"Well then what do you do?" Only her and Ben would be able to hear each other but she's still a little worried Han can hear.

"You'll see..." Fuck, if that didn't excite her she isn't sure what would. After about 5 minutes the movie ended and she just wanted to go to Ben's room. For... reasons...

"Well kids I'm going to bed. Turn the lights off Ben when you go to bed."

"Isn't mom still down here?"

"She went upstairs. Goodnight." Han went upstairs too and Rey was confused. Didn't Leia go into the kitchen?

"I could of swore your mom went into the kitchen..."

"Me too. I think we were... distracted." He smirked and pushed Rey off him so he could get up.

"What did you think of the first movie?"

"I liked it but I don't remember what happened towards the end. Hmm... I wonder who's fault that is... Ben." He laughed and suddenly threw Rey over his shoulder.

"Ben put me down!" He said nothing and turned off all the lights before carrying Rey upstairs to his room. Once they got to his room he turned the light on then shut and locked his door. She knows what that means...  **(A/N: More mature stuff. LIKE A LOT. You've been warned)**

**"I think you need to be punished."**

**"Oh really?"**

**"Yes." He laid Rey down on the bed and hovered over her.**

**"You were grinding against me during the movie, which turned me on, and you were back talking me downstairs. That is not very nice of you Rey..." She was so turned on right now it's not even funny. Ben clearly is too.**

**"Sorry but maybe I like being naughty."**

**"Well like I said, I don't reward naughty girls."** **She has an idea of what Ben is thinking but she isn't sure if that's what he's actually thinking.**

**"Punish me then." They never left eye contact and it surprised her that they could keep it for this long. They were both silent for only a couple of seconds before Ben flipped her over. Ben brought his mouth by her ear again and she wasn't sure how much more she could take.**

**"Are you sure? Because I hit hard." Yep. They're thinking the same thing. Honestly, the thought of it turns her on more than she thought it ever would. She hopes Ben knows that...**

**"Positive. I need to be punished so do it." She felt the weight of Ben's body disappear and before she could see what he was doing, he slapped her ass. She flinched but it didn't hurt in the way it should. It's weird when you're turned on...**

**"How many times do you think you deserve that?" How many? She doesn't know. 5?**

**"5." Another moment passes before she's slapped again. She gripped onto the blanket and waited. She can't see Ben so she doesn't know when to expect the hit. That's probably the point. Once he slapped her for the 3rd time she finally moaned. The slapping stung but it sent pleasure through her body. This is just making her want Ben to fuck her even more... Another slap.**

**"I don't like punishing you..."**

**"I like it..." She thinks she heard him groan but she wasn't sure because she was being slapped again. She felt Ben's weight on her again and once again he whispered into her ear.**

**"I'll fuck you now. Is that okay?"**

**"Yes please..."**

**"You're so dirty..."**

**"I told you." He pulled her up and turned her towards him. Once he did he pinned her against the wall and started kissing her. As he did Rey pulled his shirt up as much as she could until he had to pull away to take it all the way off. He did the same to her and he seemed more turned on by the fact that she didn't have a bra on. He slammed his lips against hers again and he slowly pulled her shorts and underwear off at the same time. He had jeans and a belt on she she did her best to undo the belt while they were kissing. She couldn't so she gave up on that.**

**Ben was aware and before she could react he pulled her towards the bed, turned her around so she was facing away from him, and roughly pushed her down. She was just how she was minutes ago, just no clothes. She heard him undo the buckle and heard the zipper of his pants. Damn she can't take the anticipation much longer. He lifted her up so she was on her knees and her ass was higher than the rest of her body. He pinned her upper body down, making her back arch.** **After a few seconds he thrust into her and she immediately grabbed onto the blanket.**

**"Did you put a condom on?"**   **Despite how distracted she was, she got control of herself to ask.**

**"Yes." She figured that's what took him a minute.**

**"Am I hurting you?" He must of sensed how tense her body got but it wasn't even from pain.**

**"No. I'll tell you if you hurt me." He thrust out and back in again and she was finally relieved. She's wanted this since her and Ben came up here after dinner and had to go back downstairs for the movie. He started thrusting at a slow pace and Rey was already fighting back moans. They need to be quiet so she put her face into the pillow to muffle her sounds if she makes them. His pace got faster and she moaned into the pillow. The angle of his thrusts felt better than anything he's done to her before. Just as she thought this Ben pulled out and flipped Rey over onto her back. He spread her legs and thrust into her again. She instantly put her hands into Ben's hair and had to stop herself from moaning.**

**"I like seeing your face better..." It was hard to understand what Ben said because the pleasure of it all was very distracting. She understood though and loved how breathless he sounded. As he was thrusting he nuzzled his face into the nook of Rey's neck. Rey kept her hands in Ben's hair and enjoyed the feeling of how soft it is. He looked back at her face and kissed her.** **She finally reached her release moments later and luckily she was kissing Ben so her moans could be quieter. Not too long after Rey, Ben came. He pulled out and got up to deal with the condom shit. She should probably start using birth control. It'd be easier.**

Rey completely relaxed and closed her eyes. Her breathing was calming and she was so excited to fall asleep. She finally got up so she could actually get into the blankets. Once she got into bed, Ben turned the light off and got into bed with her. He laid down all the way and gently pulled Rey against him. She turned towards him, wrapped her arms around his torso, and rested the left side of her face on his chest. 

"Did you ever think this would happen?" She was curious so she had to ask. 

"What do you mean?"

"We ran into each other literally then slowly became friends. Did you ever think this would happen...?"

"Not  _this_ , meaning what we just did, but I did hope we'd be together..."

"You were my best friend."

"You were mine."

"Just know... you still are my best friend." She looked up at Ben to see him smiling then finally closed her eyes to go to sleep. 

 


	22. Chapter 22

Ben's POV:

Ben woke up with Rey in his arms and last night's memories came back to him. It was all new to him. How could this beautiful young woman love him and let him love her in ways no one ever has? He isn't sure but it's not something he should worry about. 

Rey is a lot more dirty than he thought. Of course he knew she had a somewhat filthy mind but he didn't think it was that bad. Last night showed just how dirty she could get. And how he could get too. But she let him be that way. If something went too far he knows she'd tell him. It's just weird to think that not that long ago he wasn't even with Rey. Ben looked at the time and it was almost 11 am. Damn they slept late. 

"Rey wake up..." He shook her awake and she opened her eyes just a little. 

"No..." She got off of him and laid on her stomach before closing her eyes again. He slapped her ass and she flinched but laughed a little. 

"Okay, okay I'm up..." She opened her eyes and leaned over Ben before kissing him. It turned more heated and Ben slowly sat up. Once he was sitting up all the way, he pulled Rey into his lap and she straddled him as they kissed. They're still naked from last night so it would be so easy to just take her right here and right now but he knows they need to get downstairs. 

"Mmm... Rey... We need to go downstairs..." She nodded and got up before getting an outfit out of her suitcase. Ben watched Rey put her clothes on and he knew she was getting dressed slowly to drive him crazy. It's working. She wore a blue tube top with black shorts that made her ass look fucking fabulous. Hell her whole body is looking fabulous in what she's wearing...

"How do those shirts not fall down when your going throughout your day?"

"I don't know. But it's cute so...

"And you don't wear a bra with it?"

"No because it would look weird to have straps with a sleeveless shirt."

"I've never seen you wear that shirt before..."

"I don't wear it often because of... you know... my scars... but I decided to wear it for once." She put on some sandals and put her hair up in a messy bun. God... Those damn messy buns she always does... He decided to get out of bed and get dressed too. He put on nothing special and brushed his hair. His hair is a disaster. 

"Bennnn?" Uh oh...

"Can I do your hairrr?"

"No."

"Please? Come on. I'll make it look nice."

"No."

"I'm not gonna fucking cut it... I'll just braid it into a bun or something."

"Fine, you can do it downstairs." 

"Yay!" He's only letting her because it would make her happy. He had a window in his room with blinds over it so he opened up the blinds to get some sunlight in here. Rey quickly walked over to the window and looked outside. It was a small neighborhood of houses about the same size as this one or possibly bigger. If you look out in the distance, you can see the city. 

"I can't wait to go out and explore..."

"I can take you out today if you'd like."

"What about your parents?"

"They'll be fine. It will just be a little bit. I can take you out for lunch and then we'll walk around for a little bit." 

"Okay. I'd love that." He went up to Rey and hugged her from behind. He rested his head on her shoulder and sighed. 

"I love you, Rey."

"I love you more."

"Well I love you most." She giggled and it made him smile. Eventually he pulled away and they both went downstairs. Han and Leia were already down there watching TV. Rey smiled her normal gorgeous smile and walked into the living room with Ben.

"Good morning you two! Did you sleep well?" Leia is always very enthusiastic and sometimes it drives him nuts. 

"Yes we did." 

"Rey you can sit by us. I don't mind."

"Oh, no thank you. I'm doing Ben's hair." 

"Oh really? He's never let me do his hair before. You're very lucky." Rey pulled him in front of her and had him sit down on the floor. He is so tall Rey is able to stand and do his hair. 

"I bet you can get Ben to do anything." She's not wrong... He'll do pretty much anything Rey asks. 

"There is some things he won't do. Like leave me home alone or let me go out alone." And only  because of the Snoke problem. Once that has blown over he'll give her a lot more space. 

"Why is that Ben?"

"I'm really protective. You should know why..." 

"I do. Well what are your plans today with Rey?"

"I was going to take her out for lunch and then let her decide where we go from there."

"Okay. I hope you two enjoy your afternoon. Just make sure you're back by 6. We have dinner and a guest is coming over." 

"Who?"

"Your unkle Luke." Ben snapped his head towards his mom and it made Rey groan because she was trying to do his hair but he didn't care at the moment. Luke is coming over... He hasn't seem him in years.

"Luke?"

"Yes. I know you've had your issues with him but I'd like you to not start an argument with him tonight." Ben turned his head back to where it was and sighed. 

"I can't make any promises..." His dad is always very silent. He never really talks when Leia is around and Ben thinks that's because his mom never stops talking. Rey finally finished with his hair and he went to the bathroom to see his hair in the mirror. Damn... Rey is way better at hair then he thought. She braided the sides of his hair into a bun while leaving the rest of his hair down. 

"Do you like it?" 

"Yes. Thank you."

"Why did you get so worried when Leia mentioned Luke?"

"We never really get along. And it's just weird. He's the first person that found out about what Snoke was doing."

"It will be okay. I'll be with you." He went upstairs and grabbed their phones and his wallet then went back downstairs. 

"Ready to go?" He handed Rey her phone and smiled. 

"Yes. Are we walking?"

"If you want. It's not that far of a walk."

"Let's walk then." He nodded and told his parents they'd be back by 6 for dinner. He held Rey's hand as they made their way to the city and he could tell she was excited. 

"Where are we going for lunch?"

"There is a small restaurant that I used to go to when I was young. It's still here so I thought I'd take you there."

"Sounds good." 

\---

They had lunch at the place he talked about and now they're walking around. There isn't much to do besides look and shop but Rey seems to love it. He'd love it too but he knows this city. It looks beautiful but it's not what it seems at all. Kids are left on the streets and if they're lucky, they get to live in an abusive orphanage. He's seen it. Kids are abused all of the time in foster homes or orphanages. Rich people treat those with less money like shit and sometimes at stores if you look like you're poor the cashier won't even let them buy anything. People are mugged all of the time, raped, kidnapped, and in worst case scenarios, killed. Yes that's happened before. 

This city is beautiful but it's very dangerous and the people are shitty. That's why Ben is holding Rey's hand everywhere they go. He told Rey about everything in this city when they were at lunch and ever since Rey hasn't even protested when Ben held her hand or even followed her to the bathroom. In fact, she has been standing a lot closer to him than she was before. They went into a clothing store Rey was interested in and looked around for a while. She kept eyeing a yellow shirt with with floral designs on it but when she looked at the price she stopped looking at it. He looked at the price and it wasn't that bad.

"I'll buy this for you."

"No. I have my own money."

"Let me buy it for you. I want to." 

"What makes you want to?"

"You want it right?"

"Yes but-"

"I'll buy it for you because it would make you happy. Plus, I think it suits you." 

"Ugh... Fine." She chose her size and handed it to Ben. He smiled and paid for it while Rey looked around more for the fun of it. When he turned back towards Rey he saw her kneeling down and talking to a little girl. Who is that?

Rey's POV:

So far this day has been wonderful. The city is beautiful, there are no clouds, and she's just having an overall good day. Lunch was really good and even when Ben explained why this city is pretty terrible, she didn't let that bother her too much. Ben also looked really good today. She doesn't know if it's his hair or what he's wearing but he looks good. Once they made it to a store Rey liked, she got guilty when Ben insisted on buying her the shirt she wanted. She really hates it when people buy stuff for her but it's Ben so she should get used to it. As he was paying though and she was looking at hats and sunglasses, she felt someone tap her hand. She looked down at the little girl getting her attention. She looked very, very familiar. 

"Rey?" Who is this? Why does she look so familiar?

"Do you remember me? Maya?" Maya! That's who this is! Rey knelt down on the ground and began to tear up. Rey had a close friend in High School named Tiffany who went through a lot of tough things. Tiffany was raped by her boyfriend at some High School party once. He had been drunk at the time. Tiffany got pregnant and once she told her boyfriend he left her. Rey promised Tiffany she'd help take care of the child and once the child was born, Tiffany killed herself weeks later. She had left a note saying she couldn't live with the thought of being raped and having a child because of it. The child reminded her too much of her boyfriend. Because of this, Maya, Tiffany's kid, was left with Rey. She had no idea what to do with a newborn baby. She was only 15 at the time. So, because it was the best solution, she put Maya in the foster system. It made her very guilty but she can't take care of a baby and her family definitely wouldn't of let her. She did right a note though for Maya to read later. It said that once Rey had a stable job and was old enough, she'd adopt Maya. How does Maya know it's Rey though?

"Maya... how do you know I'm Rey?"

"My foster parent gave me your note and showed me a picture of you. I got out of the orphanage for a little bit and found you in the store."

"How old are you Maya?"

"5."

"What are you doing all alone? You shouldn't be alone."

"I had to get away from everyone. They're not very nice to me." Ben stood beside them and looked confused. Shit. She's going to have to explain something she hid away for a long time. 

"Rey you promised you'd come back for me..."

"I know sweetie... but you know I can't. I don't have a stable job or home at the moment. I'm still in school..." Ben cut in.

"Who is this Rey?" Rey closed her eyes and winced at how mad he sounded. He could be thinking anything right now. He most likely thinks it's her daughter. When she didn't answer right away Ben started to walk out of the store. Shit.

"Come with me Maya." She stood up and followed Ben outside.

"Ben let me explain." He stopped and faced Rey. 

"You have a daughter that you didn't tell me about? You lied to me about-"

"She's not my daughter. Can we talk about this somewhere else? She has to come with because she snuck out of wherever she's living right now." He looked at Maya and nodded. He turned and started walking somewhere. She followed and held Maya's hand.

"Why'd you sneak out Maya?"

"All the kids in the place always beat me up or tease me. The people in charge don't do anything about it. So I left. I don't want to go back..." Rey has to explain this to Ben as soon as possible. Rey quickly caught up with Ben and walked by his side.

"This isn't my daughter Ben."

"Then who is she?"

"I had a really close friend in High School that was raped and got pregnant by her own boyfriend. This is Maya.  _Her_  daughter. My friend killed herself a few weeks after she had Maya. I promised them both I'd take care of her but I was only 15 so I couldn't. I had to put her in the system. And now she's here wanting me to take her back. I don't know what to do Ben. I can't take care of a 5 year old child. I'm in school and I don't really even know where I live. My apartment or yours? I can't take care of Maya. I'm not settled down enough." She lowered her voice just enough that only Ben would be able to hear. Ben lowered his voice too. 

"Why didn't you ever tell me about this?"

"It's not just something I'm going to bring up in a normal conversation. I've kept this hidden away for years." He stopped and faced Rey. He wasn't mad anymore and she was relieved. 

"I'm sorry. She seemed like your daughter. The way things were said-"

"It's okay. I kind of expected you to think she was my kid." Ben nodded and knelt down in front Maya.

"Where do you live?"

"I'll show you." Ben stood up and let her lead the way. 

"Ben we can't just take her back. Did you hear what she said about the other kids?" 

"Yes but we can't just keep her either. It's not legal to just take her home."

"Well duh. I'm not stupid."

"Never said you were." 

"I really don't know what to do..." Once she said that, Maya turned down onto a less busy street and walked up some steps to a small apartment looking place. 

"I'm not ready to take care of a child either Rey but she lives in an orphanage. Who knows what happens in there..." Rey nodded and knelt down to talk to Maya easier. 

"Sweetie... we need you to go back inside and stay there. I promise we'll be back as soon as we can. It just might not be today."

"Okay. I'll stay. As long as you come back."

"I will. I promise." Maya nodded and went inside. Rey wishes she could just take her with them but she can't. She went back to Ben and they started walking again.

"We need to go back when we can."

"We will. I'll tell my mom when we get back. She deals with this kind of stuff all the time."

"I know... it's just... I promised I'd take care of her and I can't. Not yet at least." 

"It will work out."

"I hope you're right." 

\---

Rey, Ben, and Leia are now sitting at the table talking about solutions with this sudden conflict. They had gotten back 2 hours early because Rey wanted to get Maya out of the orphanage as soon as possible. Rey had told Leia about everything that had to do with Maya and Tiffany. 

"There isn't much we could really do about this. Rey, I know you promised you'd take care of her but you just can't right now. I'll try to get the orphanage problems fixed but this one is tougher. Neither of you are ready to take care of a child. Ben... how do you even feel about all of this?" Ben hasn't said much about his feelings with this.

"Umm... I don't really even know. This means a lot to Rey but she isn't ready and to be honest... I'm not either. Yes I have a stable job and home but mentally... I'm not ready. If Rey keeps Maya I need to be apart of this. And of course I'd love to help but I don't feel... like I'd do good." She didn't think Ben felt this way but she doesn't blame him. What will they do about Maya? 

"Well Rey... since you're apart of our family now... I'd like to help. I think you and Ben will be together for a very long time so... I've come up with a compromise. You can adopt Maya, like you promised her. But... I will take care of Maya and let her stay here until you have a stable living situation. Meaning, you have a good paying job and you will be able to take care of Maya. I don't care if it's 5 years. I'll be her Guardian until you are ready. This gives you and Ben time to be prepared."

"Thank you but I don't want to make you do-"

"I want to. I'd love to even."

"Alright..."

"We'll go to the orphanage tomorrow then. Luke will be here in about an hour so I need to go start on dinner." Leia left and went to the kitchen. 

"Ben... you don't have to be apart of this you know..."

"I know. But by the time you're done with school and you have a good job I'm pretty sure we'll still be together. And if we are... I will be apart of it. Of course I will be. I know I'll be ready by then and you will be too. How long do you plan on going to school for?"

"I was hoping 2 years then being a dance teacher. My goal is to own my own dance company someday. I know that's not a very good paying career but it's always been my dream."

"2 years will be just enough time. You're keeping your promise to Maya. It's just not time. Okay? Follow your heart."

"Thank you Ben."

"Your welcome." 


	23. Chapter 23

Ben's POV:

His mind was spinning. He couldn't think straight. Everything that's happening with Maya is stressing him out. At the time he saw Rey and Maya talking at the store, he thought Maya was Rey's daughter. He thought she had lied to him about not ever having a boyfriend and about being a virgin. He was angry and needed to leave the store. Of course he was not going to leave Rey in this damn city all alone, but he just needed to wait outside before he said something he'd regret. After Rey explained everything though, he was overwhelmed with a feeling of relief and guilt. How dare he think so low of Rey? 

Back to now, Ben is stressing out about the fact that, that poor little girl is stuck in an orphanage. He wouldn't be as worried if they weren't in Chandrila but they are. Even when his mother had been mayor, everything was shitty. She could only control and fix so much. 

Something that he can't stop thinking about either is that in at least the next few years he'll be taking care of a child. It scares him a lot. Like a lot. He can't be like his father and never be home. What if Ben isn't what a child needs him to be? There are so many what ifs and doubts in his head. And Rey is right. He doesn't need to be apart of this. But he will. He is positive him and Rey will be together by the time Rey is ready to take care of Maya. He isn't going to let Rey do that on her own. He's apart of this now. It's his decision. He wants this. Just not right now. So thank goodness his mom will take care of Maya for a while. What does his dad think about all of this though?

He's been thinking so many things he's starting to get a headache. Maya living in an orphanage, Rey needing to take care of her, hearing what Rey's friend went through, it was all too much to contain. Despite all of that, something else is gnawing at him. He feels very, very guilty for thinking so, so low of Rey earlier. It's worse than any of the feelings he's feeling right now. He assumed such terrible things of Rey at the time and now he can't stop thinking about it. He's on the brink of tears. Everything is too much. It's so overwhelming. 

He's been strong for Rey this entire evening. She's been stressing out over this and she's worried things won't go right. If Ben lets his feelings show, Rey won't feel any better. So he's keeping these feelings hidden. He needs to be there for Rey. Not freak out and worry her even more. He loves her more than anyone else and seeing her like this kills him. 

"Ben?" He's been sitting on the couch and didn't realize Rey came in the room until she said his name. 

"Y-yeah?"

"Are you okay?" She knelt down in front of him so they were the same height. 

"Of course I'm okay."

"No you're not. I think it's my turn to be there for you. You're always non-stop there for me. Asking if I'm okay or if you can do anything for me. I don't ask you enough. Stop worrying about me for 5 minutes. Just 5 minutes. Are you okay Ben?" He sat there for a minute, letting her words sink in. Isn't he supposed to be the strong one for her not vice versa? 

"No... I'm not okay." 

"Lets go to your room for a little bit." She stood up and pulled him with her. They both went to his room and sat on his bed.

"Ben... I know you worry about me. I know you get protective. I know you want to be in control of everything. But sometimes you just need to let others take care of you. Do you know how much you mean to me? A lot. More than that. I don't want you keeping your emotions inside. I made that mistake. I never told anyone how I felt and that led me into depression and my cutting. I do _not_ want you going down that same road. You start to feel alone, depressed, stressed, you get angry easier. Please,  _please_ don't keep hiding your feelings about everything just to be strong for me." He looked down at the floor and thought about everything she said. He is not used to someone taking care of him. He's grown up basically on his own if you think about it. 

"I-I'm sorry..." He is trying so hard not to cry right now and it didn't go unnoticed. 

"There's nothing to be sorry about..." She pulled him into a hug but this hug was different. It's usually him towering over her and caging her in because she is so short compared to him. This time she pulled him into her chest and she was towering over him. Somehow he was in her lap and shorter than her. Before he could try to stop himself he began to cry into her shirt. He's never been this vulnerable. Yes he cried his heart out to Rey when Snoke came back into his life but he's even more vulnerable now. It isn't just about Snoke now. Rey rested her chin on the top of his head and ran her hands over his back in circles to soothe him. 

"Rey... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..."

"What are you sorry about?" 

"I thought... so low of you at the store... when you were with Maya... And I can't help you..."

"That's what's bothering you?"

"A part of it..."

"Ben. I don't care. If I were you I would of thought it was your daughter too-"

"No... I thought you lied to me... about everything..." It was hard to speak because he was crying. 

"It's okay. Really it's fine." 

\---

He ended up telling her everything he was feeling and he hoped she understood. He finally calmed down and now he's currently laying down with his head on Rey's lap. She's sitting up and leaning against the headboard of his bed. She's been playing with his hair while they talked about Halloween and what part Rey wants in the Nutcracker. He likes listening to her talk about dance. 

"I can't wait to start dancing again..." It's Thursday and they leave to go home on Sunday. 2 days after that it's Halloween and the day Rey will be completely healed. She can start dancing again and has tryouts for Nutcracker 4 days later. He just hopes that's enough time for Rey to practice and be prepared. 

"I can't wait to start watching you dance again..."

"Do you miss working?"

"A little. But I prefer staying home to take care of you."

"Which by the way, you really don't have to do. You can go back to work..."

"I'll just go back when you start dancing again. Plus, we're on vacation so I can't work. And when we get back I'll only be missing 2 more days so it's fine."

"Ben-" Someone knocked on the door so he quickly got up and answered it. It was Han.

"Oh good. You two are dressed. I thought I was about to interrupt-"

"Okay dad. What do you need?" Han chuckled and put his hands on his hips.

"Luke is here and dinner is ready." 

"We'll be down in a minute." Han smirked and turned to walk away.

"Be quick you two."

"Dad we're not having s-"

"Oh shut up Ben. We both know you already did."

"We did not-"

"Hah! That's a funny joke." He went downstairs and Ben glared at him. His dad is so fucking ridiculous. Him and Rey went downstairs and he took a few deep breaths before going into the kitchen to face Luke. He looked older than before. His hair was longer and whiter and it was the same with his beard. Ben hasn't seen him since he told him about the Snoke incident. Ben walked up to Luke with Rey following behind.

"Hi Ben."

"Hi uncle Luke." A few moments of awkward silence passed and Ben decided to introduce Rey before it got anymore awkward. 

"Luke, this is Rey, my girlfriend. And Rey this is Luke." Rey smiled and shook his hand politely. 

"It's good to see my nephew with someone. Leia has told me a bit about you."

"Ben has told me a little about you too."

"I'm surprised." Ben felt very uncomfortable and awkward so he hurried over to his mom to help set the table.

"I mean it Ben. Do not start an argument with Luke tonight."

"I'll try." Everyone sat down and started eating. Han and Rey were talking while Luke and Leia were talking. Ben just ate his food in silence and did his best to avoid a conversation with Luke. Because if he does, he knows an argument will start. Luke is one of those people that will tell you what they're thinking, no matter how rude it is. It's infuriating to get criticized by his uncle every time they speak.

"So Ben, how is work going for you?" And now he is going to talk to Luke, which is exactly what he didn't want to happen.

"Uh it's good. It's how I met Rey actually. I'm taking a break though so I can take care of her. You know about what happened with Snoke and Rey, correct?"

"Yes. I do. But I don't see why you're taking work off for it." Here we go...

"Well why not?" 

"I'm sure she can take care of herself." Ben was already starting to get pissed off and they just started talking. 

Rey's POV:

Rey is starting to miss being in Ben's room and she just barely sat down for dinner. Meeting Luke was a little awkward. Ben seemed to feel the awkwardness too. Now that they're all eating, Rey felt relieved when Han started talking to her about what she thought of Chandrila so far. She likes Han. And Leia too of course, but she likes Han just a little bit more. He's easy to talk to. Fun even. She isn't sure why Ben finds his dad so frustrating. Ben and Luke were talking now and it caught everyone's attention. It caught hers because she heard her name. 

"I'm sure she can take care of herself."

"And she can but that's not why-"

"You need to focus on work Ben. You worked hard and she's distracting you." She can tell Ben was getting frustrated.

"She isn't distracting me."

"You're acting just like Kylo-"

"I am  _nothing_  like Kylo." Ben's voice rose a little bit and she saw Leia look nervously at Han. 

"Sometimes you act just like him Ben." Rey saw Ben's hand and jaw clench. This is not going to go well... 

"Anyways, all I'm saying is maybe Rey is a distraction." Luke does know she's sitting right here... right? Nothing he'll say will offend her but she finds this a little odd. 

"And I'll say this one more time. She is not."

"Well I hope you don't fuck this up like your other relationships." Rey's brow furrowed at how rude Luke was being to Ben. Han cut in.

"I don't think he'll fuck this up but he has fucked her." Ben groaned and put his hands over his face. Rey laughed at the comment and at Ben's reaction. Leia rolled her eyes and shook her head while Luke just sat there. 

"Is that true?" Luke was asking Han and Han just smirked.

"Why don't you ask them?" Luke looked at Rey and she just awkwardly looked at her food and took a few bites. She thinks she knows why Han is doing this. She saw his worried and angry expression when Luke was talking to Ben and after what Luke said about Ben messing up his relationships, Han immediately cracked a joke. Does Ben know? Han and Luke waited for either her or Ben to answer and finally Ben moved his hands. 

"If this will make you shut up dad then yes. We had sex. Happy?" Leia rolled her eyes again while Han kept his smirk on his face. 

"Yes." Luke cut back in and changed the subject.

"So... Rey... Leia told me you're a ballerina?" Everyone's attention was on her now and it made her a little nervous.

"Yes. Uh... I'm in college for it so I can get better at it. When I feel like I'm ready I'll be a dance teacher and hopefully open up my own studio." Luke looked unimpressed but it didn't bother Rey. She likes her plan and if he doesn't she doesn't give a shit. 

"Wouldn't you rather have a better paying job than that?"

"No. Money doesn't matter to me." She saw Ben smile out of the corner of her eye. 

"I was hoping you weren't with Ben for the money." She glanced over at Ben and he was once again angry. 

"May I be honest Rey?"

"Knock yourself out."

"I personally think being a ballet teacher is useless and a waste of time. You're not taking up any challenges."

"This is a challenge. A very hard one."

"Well if learning to teach ballet is a challenge to you, then maybe you need to grow up a little. See the world a little more. I'm sure your parents are a little disappointed." That last part stung a little but she wouldn't let anything he said bother her. Ben slammed his hand on the table and it made everyone jump. 

"Okay that's it! You can come in here and criticize me all you want. But don't you dare do that to Rey." She hasn't heard Ben talk to anyone like that before. And it scared the shit out of her. 

"I'm not criticizing anyone Ben. I'm just stating my opinion."

"You're just stating your fucking opinion?! By saying Rey's parents are disappointed in her and her decisions?! Her parents are dead! Have some sympathy!" Rey looked down at her food and glanced up at Han who was doing the same thing as her. 

"Well I did not know her parents were dead. But I don't regret saying what I said. If I was her parent I would be very disappointed." Ben basically growled when he got her attention. 

"Rey... Please leave the room." He didn't have to tell her twice. Rey got up slowly and surprisingly Han and Leia did the same. They all left and went into the living room. It was far enough away that Ben and Luke's yelling sounded like talking. 

"Shit. We left them in there with all the silverware. Someone's gonna lose a hand." Han's joke made her laugh.

"Han! Not funny!" Leia nearly yelled.

"Well why aren't you stopping them Leia?"

"Because I'll just make it worse." Leia brought her attention to Rey.

"I apologize. My brother is a bit..."

"Of a dick?"

"Han!" 

"What? It's true."

"Anyways Rey... I'm sorry about that."

"It's fine. I'm not bothered by it. But Ben on the other hand... I've never seen him like that."

"He's been worse. Don't let it bother you. He's just defending someone he loves." Both Leia and Rey smiled. Suddenly they heard glass break and she guessed it was a cup. 

"Leia! Go stop them!" Han seemed genuinely worried. 

"No! If I go in there I'll be the one losing a hand!" Rey laughed at how funny this was. It's not supposed to be funny but it is.

"Who do you think that was? Ben or Luke?" Han was trying not to laugh so good thing it isn't just Rey who thinks this is funny. Rey didn't answer because she was laughing so Leia did.

"That was Ben for sure. He is going to be in a lot of trouble when they're done yelling at each other." After a few minutes of trying to hear what was being said, Han spoke up.

"I'm stopping this." Han left the room and left Rey and Leia alone.

"Do you want to go out for dessert with me?"

"Sure. What about everyone else?"

"They'll be fine. Hopefully when we're back they've stopped."

"Yeah... hopefully."

"Han we're heading out!"

"Okay Lei- Ben that's enough!" Leia laughed a little and grabbed her purse before heading out the door with Rey following behind. They went to Leia's car and got inside quickly.

"If they wouldn't of wasted their time arguing they could of gone with us." 

"You took the words right out of my mouth." Leia smiled and started driving into the city. 

**I was laughing as I wrote the arguing and Han's and Leia's comments on it. I don't know why it's so funny to me. Hope you enjoyed this chapter!** 


	24. Chapter 24

Rey's POV:

Rey and Leia went to an ice cream shop and got ice cream. They've been talking about her childhood and everything she did with her mother and father. Rey doesn't mind and even enjoys talking about it but she wants to know about Ben's childhood from someone else's point of view. All he ever does is criticize his younger self. 

"Ben has told me about his childhood and how awkward he was. I want to hear your viewpoint on this." Leia smiled.

"He claims he was very awkward and nerdy. Awkward? No. Nerdy? A little. He was a very sweet and quiet person. He never really talked to anyone but when he did he was the kindest person ever. He was always put down by Kylo because Kylo had a lot of friends. It was easier for him and not for Ben. Ben just doesn't realize that even though Kylo had it all in his eyes, Ben really had more than Kylo. Ben was smart, kind, generous, selfless, funny, and nerdy in a good way. All of which Kylo wasn't. Ben would stay in his room a lot and read Star Wars books and watch the movies while Kylo was out with his friends. During this, Han was gone a lot. He had work things and it did bother me but I think it affected Ben the most. He was trapping himself in his room and barely eating. I was really worried about him. His grades were getting worse, he isolated himself, and he wasn't acting like the Ben I knew." This was really interesting to hear. Ben told Rey that they sent him away because he was acting out. He wasn't exactly lying... He wasn't acting himself and it worried Leia sick. Ben just sees it differently. Like he was a disappointment. 

"The biggest regret of my life is sending Ben to live with his uncle Luke. I just wanted to help Ben. Luke was a great therapist and I thought that Ben going to live with him for a while would help him get better. Instead it just ruined him even more." It's strange to hear this side of it. Ben and Leia see this situation completely different. If only Ben knew... He would feel a lot better about it. 

"All those years I was home with Kylo and Han thinking Ben was getting better and better. I thought about Ben every single day. But when I got a call from Luke saying Ben needed to come home and why, I knew Ben was worse. The whole Snoke situation ruined Ben." Ben thought his parents didn't give a shit while he was gone... Ben was constantly on Leia's mind. 

"Sorry I'm rambling..."

"No you're good. I love listening to people talk. I don't know what it is..."

"Well we should get back to the house and see what's going on."

"Oh shit I totally forgot about the fight."

"I'm really hoping Han solved the problem." They headed back to the house and they walked inside to complete silence. Is that good or bad?

"We're back Han!" Leia walked in the kitchen and once Rey did she wondered what the hell happened. Han was holding an ice pack against his eye, Luke was nowhere to be found, Ben looked angry and worried at the same time, and there was glass all over the floor.

"Han what happened to your eye?" Rey just stayed quiet, not wanting to interfere.

"Ben punched me..." Ben punched Han?

"Benjamin!!!"

"It was an accident."

"Punching your father was an accident?! Oh 'oops didn't mean to punch you dad.' You can't accidentally punch someone Ben!"

"No really it was. I went to punch the wall because I was angry and then suddenly dad's in the way. It's his fault not mine."

"I can't believe you right now! What the hell happened?!"

"If you would of stayed home then maybe you would know."

"I took Rey out for dessert because I did not want her here for another one of your stupid argument with Luke!" Ben's face went from angry to guilty in a matter of seconds and looked directly at Rey. 

"I will not ask again. What happened?" Ben looked back at Leia.

"Well you all left me with Luke and we started yelling at each other. I won't repeat anything when Rey is here because she doesn't need to know. Anyway, I threw a glass cup, paced around the kitchen, bla bla bla, then dad comes in the room and tries to get us to stop yelling at each other. Didn't work of course. Then I punch the wall and go to punch it again when dad walks right in front of me. After that we stopped arguing, Luke went upstairs, and now we're here." That explains the kitchen... She feels a little guilty though. She was the reason why Ben got angry with Luke. If she wasn't there Ben and Luke probably wouldn't of argued. Rey turned around and went back to the living room because Leia continued to yell at Ben. This is her fault...

Ben's POV:

During dinner he asked Rey to leave the room because he did not want her to hear anything else Luke had to say. He didn't say it very nicely but he didn't mean to. His uncle has no right to talk to her like that and talk about her in front of her face. It made him beyond angry. The second Rey was gone was when the yelling started.

"You are such an asshole! You never give a shit about what other people think! You just say your opinion and don't even think about how that can affect someone! You don't tell someone their career choice is shitty!"

"I did not call it shitty!"

"Basically you did! Rey goes through a lot of shit and you saying her parents would be disappointed is awful!"

"How about you stop being blinded by her looks! You're taking a break from your job just so you can stay home and have sex all the time!" Ben stood up out of his chair and threw his cup at the wall. 

"I am not blinded by her looks!!! And that is not why I'm taking a break!!! You think I'm using her for sex?!!"

"I wouldn't be surprised!" 

"What the hell makes you say that?!!"

"After everything with Snoke I wouldn't be surprised!" This is exactly what Ben was worried about. He is beginning to be just like Snoke. The way he is with Rey when they have sex is proof. Snoke turned him into a disgusting pervert just like him. 

"I'm not blinded by her looks, I'm not using her for sex, and I am not Snoke!!!"

"Hmm... If I remember correctly, Rey is a dancer. What did she look like the first time you met her?"

"She was wearing dance clothes!"

"And what made you attracted to her?"

"Don't you even go there!"

"So was it the dance clothes that attracted you? Her body? The way she dances?" Yes but her personality attracted him more than the looks. 

"No!"

"What was your first thought when you saw her?" That she was really pretty... 

"Stop!!! Just stop! I'm with Rey because of her personality! Do not make me think I'm like Snoke! I'm fucked up enough!" Han suddenly came in the room.

"Enough you two!" He heard Leia say she was going out but he ignored it. 

"You're the worst therapist! What kind of therapist tells his nephew that he's like-" 

"Ben that's enough!" He was so angry right now.

"No dad! Luke is not getting away with this easily! I've had it! He always comes over and has something to say! I've gotten through it! But when he starts doing it to Rey, I'm more than angry! I brought Rey to Chandrila to have a nice time! Instead she gets to hear how disappointed her parents must be and how her career isn't a good one!" Ben and Luke went back and forth about how Ben needs to grow up and how terrible Luke is. It takes a lot to make his dad angry and he's angry now. 

"Ben!!! Luke!!! Stop!!! Enough is enough!" He was breathing heavy and his fists were clenched.

"See Ben? Just like Kylo." That's it. Ben punched the wall beside him and went to do it again but fucking Han walked right in front of him and he punched his dad. Ben's eyes widened and got a little scared for a second. His mom will murder him. 

"You fucking idiot!"

"Sorry..."

"Punching walls solves nothing Ben! Nothing!"

"Well if Luke wouldn't of said that fucking Kylo comment I wouldn't of done it!" Luke cut in.

"I'm going upstairs." Hallelujah. 

"Good! Stay up there 'till I'm gone while you're at it!" Luke left and Ben got an ice pack.

"Ben why are you so angry?"

"Why am I so angry?! Because Luke-"

"No I'm aware of what Luke said to Rey. I know it's not just that Ben." Ben sighed and paced the kitchen to calm down a little bit. 

"Luke is saying I'm with Rey for the looks and sex. That is not why I'm with her. I'm with her because of her personality. And being with her for sex? First of all, we've only had sex twice. Second of all, we didn't have sex for the first time until the night before we came to Chandrila. How am I in the relationship for the sex? Also, he said he isn't surprised because of Snoke. I'm not Snoke." Ben was so frustrated and angry that he felt some tears fall down his face. 

"I'd never do to Rey what Snoke did to me. Never. I try to be as gentle as I can but Rey likes that dirtier side of me. Am I Snoke if Rey wants it? Anything I'll do with Rey is something she hasn't done before and something I learned from Snoke. Does that make me Snoke?"

"No it doesn't. I don't know what you two do when you're... intimate. But as long as Rey says she's okay with it, it's fine. It doesn't make you Snoke. Snoke did what he did to you without your consent and you hated it. Does Rey consent and like it?"

"Yes..."

"Then no. You are not Snoke. Luke does not define who you are. I don't like the way he treats you but I have to keep my mouth shut because if not your mother will end my life." Ben feels better but not all the way. The thought that someone, his own uncle, thinks he is with Rey for the looks and sex is really bothering him. 

"Ben, I love you."

"I love you too." They sat in silence for a few minutes before Rey and Leia walked into the room. He got yelled at by Leia but he wasn't really listening. The second he looked at Rey he felt extremely guilty. And when Rey walked away he wanted to cry. Is she mad at him? Is she-

"Ben are you even listening to a word I'm saying?!"

"No." She groaned and glared at him. Han walked closer to Leia and talked to her quietly so Ben couldn't hear. Leia suddenly looked sad and looked over at Ben. He knew his dad was telling Leia what was said. 

"Can I leave now? I need to go talk to Rey."

"Yes honey. I'll clean the mess." Leia was a lot more calm. Ben left and found Rey sitting on the couch. He sat next to her and looked at the floor. 

"I'm sorry Rey."

"It's okay. You were just trying to defend me."

"Rey... you'd tell me if you didn't like what I was doing right?" He looked at Rey and she looked back at him.

"Yes. So far that hasn't had to happen. What did Luke say to you?" Ben stayed silent.

"Ben?" 

"I don't want to say."

"Something is bothering you. Tell me what-"

"No!" She jumped and looked away. He didn't mean to yell at her...

"Rey I'm sorry. I'm just upset right now." She didn't respond.

"Luke said I'm using you for sex. And I'm only with you for the looks. That's not true. And he said that I'm the way I am because of Snoke. I have dirty thoughts of doing things to you and what we would do together." Rey finally looked at him and he was trying to hold back the tears.

"D-does that make me Snoke? Did me slapping your ass last night make me Snoke? Did me tying your wrists together the other night make me Snoke? Does me being the one in control make me Snoke?" A tear fell down Rey's face and he was sure he was already crying. 

"No. It doesn't Ben. You would stop the second I'd say no or stop. Snoke didn't. You asked my consent and made sure I was okay with it multiple times. Snoke didn't. The fact that you're worrying about this just makes you even less like Snoke. Anything you do is hot. And I say anything. Everything." Hearing that made him not worry as much but he's still upset. It will take a bit for him to cool down. 

"Let's go to bed. You'll feel better tomorrow. We'll be going to get Maya. Think about that." He nodded and stood up with Rey. He went into the kitchen to say goodnight first.

"I'm sorry about tonight mom."

"Honey it's okay. I'm the one that should be sorry. I need to defend you instead of yell at you." He hugged Leia and smiled at his dad.

"Goodnight parentals." Han laughed at the name.

"Goodnight you two!" Han is smirking. No. Don't say anything stupid.

"Have fun and don't be loud." No! Ben groaned and pushed Rey upstairs quickly. When they got into his room they both changed into their pajamas. 

"Your mom said sending you away is the biggest regret of her life. She sent you away because she was worried about your health and mental state. She thought about you everyday you were gone."

"What makes you think that?"

"Leia told me tonight." He didn't want to believe it but deep down he knew it was true. 

\---

Ben woke up at 8 and decided to let Rey sleep for a little bit longer. Rey was nearly on top of him so he had to carefully get out of bed without waking her. Luckily he succeeded. He went downstairs knowing Leia is already up. The smell of coffee said so. He went into the kitchen and it wasn't just Leia, it was also Luke. They were sitting at the table talking and he didn't really care what about. He turned around to leave, not wanting last night to happen again.

"Honey wait. Get some coffee and sit down with us." Ben slowly turned back around and hesitated before going to get coffee out of the pot of coffee already made. He sat down next to Leia and didn't even look at Luke. 

"I was just telling Luke about what we're doing today." Great. Wonder what Luke has to say about the whole Maya thing now...

"Why? So he could criticize me about that too?"

"No... I just felt like he should know. And he said it was a good idea." Ben scoffed. 

"Sure." 

"Ben, be nice..."

"I need to be nice? Did you hear Luke last night?" She didn't respond and Luke just sat there. Ben needs to leave before it gets ugly again. He went back upstairs and saw Han coming out of his room.

"Why are you already mad, kid?"

"Luke is downstairs." He nodded and started walking downstairs.

"I never liked Luke..." Same with Ben. He went back into his room and Rey was still asleep. She was hugging his pillow now and it made him smile because she probably thinks it's him. He got out the second Star Wars movie so they could watch it this morning before they go back into the city for Maya. 

"Good morning Bun." He looked over at Rey and she yawned. 

"Oh so now you'll call me Bun and not Ben?" She smiled. 

"I wanna look back at those drunk texts again." Rey had called him Bun when she texted him while drunk. It's funny now but at the time he had gotten mad at her for underage drinking and getting too drunk. Rey sat up and reached over to the table and grabbed her phone. She laid back down and looked through it. Probably looking for the texts... 

"Found them." She started laughing so Ben laid beside her to read the texts. He started laughing too. He forgot all about Luke and enjoyed this moment with Rey.

**If you can't remember what the drunk texts from Rey were or you just want to read them again, it's somewhere in chapter 5. Lol**


	25. Chapter 25

Rey's POV:

Ben is kind of all over the place right now. He's angry, then he's sad, then he's really, really upset, and then he's happy. Rey gets it though. This is all kind of Luke's fault. He pissed Ben off then made him feel guilty. Ben got upset and sad so Rey comforted him. Now he's happy the next morning as they're reading though her drunk texts. She loves and always will love this man. After laughing at her texts, he turned on the next Star Wars movie in his room and they both cuddled while they watched it. Rey's phone kept buzzing but she just ignored it. 

"You should probably see who's trying to get a hold of you..."

"Yeah I know..." She opened her phone and saw 1 missed call and 5 messages from Finn. 

**Finn: Rey. MAJOR CRISIS** 9:32

**Finn: Well kinda. I'm questioning something.** 9:33

**Finn: I need you.** 10:01

**Finn: Come onnn... you're my homie... Where's my homie when I need them?** 10:06

**Finn: I'll have to find a new buddy...** 10:11

**Rey: Geez Finn. I was watching a movie... What is this 'MAJOR CRISIS'?** 10:13

**Finn: Okay soooo.... I have a problem...**

**Rey: On a scale from 1 to 10, how bad?**

**Finn: Maybe 6.**

**Rey: Oof. What is up?**

**Finn: I'm questioning my sexuality... and I'm so confused... I thought I was gay and now I don't think so.**

**Rey: Oh. What's making you question it?**

**Finn: So me and Rose were hanging out last night...**

**Rey: Wait! You know Rose????**

**Finn: Well kind of yeah. Long story. Anyway, we were you know doing what normal people do when they hangout. Watching movies and eating food. Then she suddenly looks at me and kisses me. I didn't even try to stop her! Now I think I like her but I'm gay! What the hell do I do???**

**Rey: Uh... I honestly don't know. Maybe you're not gay. Maybe your bi? Idk.**

**Finn: Wow so much help. *Sigh***

**Rey: *Eye roll***

**Finn: Seriously... idk what to do.**

**Rey: I say just go for it. If you have feelings for Rose, be with her. It's okay to not be gay anymore... Do you really, really like Rose?**

**Finn: Yes...**

**Rey: Then go for it. Now I'm watching Star Wars with my bae right now so go make out with Rose and let me know how it goes ;)**

"Your bae?" 

"Don't read my texts!" He laughed and she took his phone out of his pocket. 

"Hey hey hey... Give me my phone back." She shook her head and jumped off the bed. She went to open his phone but it had to be unlocked. She tried 'Rey', 'Rey is bae', 'My sunshine', and 'Kylo is an asshole' but none of them worked. Ben paused the movie and smiled at her. 

"What the hell is your password?" 

"Rey69."

"Wow, real mature Ben." He laughed and his phone unlocked. His screensaver was a picture of Rey at the beach. She remembers him showing her the picture he took. 

"You don't care I'm in your phone?"

"I have nothing to hide." She completely trusts him and there is no need to look through his phone but she just wanted to see what the hell he does on here. He rarely uses it. She wanted to see his pictures first because she was curious. There were some silly and stupid selfies, some of random things he'll take pictures of, and a bunch of pictures of her. She didn't even know he took some of these pictures of her. 

"Wow I'm hot in this picture..." There was a picture of her making a really stupid face with really messy hair. 

"Sure are."

"I was being sarcastic."

"And I wasn't." She went to see who he texts besides her and he literally texts 2 other people. His mom and Finn. 

"You need to stop being such an old man and start texting."

"I prefer calling or talking to the person face to face."

"Okay old man." 

"I thought I was a bae."

"You're my... sexy old man."

"Eww..."

"I'll never say that again." Ben smirked and Rey gave his phone back. 

"Oh and nice screensaver of me in my bikini."

"Oh- I mean- I-if you don't-"

"Oh shut up Ben. Stop worrying so much." 

"Yes ma'am." Her phone went off again and Ben handed her phone to her.

**Rose: Rey I have to tell you something... Don't kill me...**

**Rey: You kissed Finn.**

**Rose: What?! How'd you know????**

**Rey: Finn told me.**

**Rose: Does he like me back? I've been worried that I pushed it too far...**

**Rey: I think he does ;)**

**Rose: What did he tell you....?**

**Rey: Stuff ;)**

**Rose: Oh no...**

There was a knock on the door so Ben answered it. Leia was dressed like she was working with a business company or something. Probably to look professional when they go to get Maya. 

"We're leaving to get Maya whenever you two are ready. Be fast." Ben shut the door and started changing. Rey took her shirt off and remembered her bandages.

"Ben, where are the bandages?"

"Oh umm... I can't remember where I put them. I'll find them." Rey put on the new shirt Ben bought for her and some skinny jeans then put her hair in the 3 buns she always does. As she was doing her hair Ben lifted her shirt up and replaced her bandages. Her stomach is looking a lot better and she doesn't really think she'll need the bandages anymore but she isn't going to risk anything. 

"Let's go."

"Wait Ben. I gotta put on some makeup."

"You don't need makeup..."

"Yes I do. I look like a train wreck." 

"No you do not." 

"I'll go without my makeup but we have walk around the city and ask a bunch a people what they think."

"No."

"Then I don't believe you..."

"Ugh fine..."

"If I win, which means more people say I am a train wreck, or anything like that, then I get to... go down on you." She's wanted to for a few days now and Ben has been a little... hesitant. He doesn't want to force her into anything. It's not forcing her if she wants to do it. Ben smirked and walked closer to her.

"And if  _I_ win, which means more people say you _aren't_  a train wreck, then I get to go down on  _you._ And, you can't wear makeup the rest of this trip."

"Deal." Either way something good comes out of it. She just wants to win. He went to kiss her but she turned away, put on some sandals and grabbed her phone before heading out the door.

"Come on Ben!"

"That wasn't fair..." She shrugged and headed downstairs. 

"Life isn't fair." Rey and Ben went with Leia into the city and they parked somewhere for some reason she didn't know about. Rey and Ben need to start asking people if they think she looks like a train wreck or not. 

"You two stay here for a second. I have a friend in that store that I need to speak to." So that's why they stopped... Leia went into the store and Rey decided to ask the first person that passes them. She looked friendly.

"Hey I have a random question."

"Yes?"

"Be 100% honest and I won't be offended. Do you think I look like a train wreck?" Rey heard Ben laugh and the lady just looked confused.

"Train wreck?"

"You know... like ugly or just looking bad in general. Do you think so?"

"Umm... no. I think you look fine." 

"Okay thank you." The lady walked away and Rey huffed as she stood beside Ben again.

"Poop..."

"She said you didn't look like a train wreck didn't she?" Rey didn't answer and Ben smiled. Someone else passed by and this time Ben asked. They said no also. So far it's 2 to 0. Damn it... Rey and Ben took turns and by the time Leia was back outside 5 people said no she doesn't and 3 said yes she does. She's catching up. Rey will not lose. 

"Mom, what were you talking to your friend about?"

"Oh nothing. Don't worry about it." As they walked back to the car, Rey and Ben would ask people that were walking the same way as them. Now they're at 6 to 5. She better win...

Ben's POV:

This little game they're playing is kind of fun. He doesn't like that they're playing to see who thinks Rey is pretty or not but as long as Rey is having fun with it, it's okay. She's keeping score and everything. She does not look anything close to a train wreck and she's crazy to think that. She looks gorgeous as always. His favorite part about her not wearing makeup is that he can see all of her freckles. When she has makeup on, he can't see them. 

They drove to the orphanage and he was a little nervous. He's about to see his future... daughter? Uh... kid? He doesn't know what to call Maya. But either way, she is going to be in his future. Leia knocked on the door and an older lady welcomed them all inside. He's having some serious "Annie" vibes right now. (A/N: If you don't know what Annie is or if you haven't seen the movie then what are you doing here? Go watch that movie!) Leia mentioned adopting and the lady introduced herself as Megan. Megan led them into an office and they discussed Maya and the situation. Once they did they filled some paper work out and Leia talked to Megan some more. They made it so that legally Rey can take Maya when she's ready for a kid. (A/N: I have absolutely no idea how adoption works so... just go with it. Lol.) When they dealt with all the adoption stuff, which took almost an hour, Megan let Rey help Maya get her things. 

"Rey! You came back!" The little girl ran up to Rey and hugged her legs because she was so short. 

"Of course I did. I promised I would."

"Does this mean I can come home with you?"

"Yes... well kind of. I'll explain everything later. Let's go get your stuff." Maya led Rey to her room and Ben followed. Megan got out a suitcase for Maya and Rey, Ben, and Maya started packing. He has no idea what his mom is doing but oh well. 

"So... Mr? Who are you?" Maya scrunched her nose up and it made him smile. He was also smiling at how she called him Mr. 

"I'm Ben."

"Rey's husband?" He glanced at Rey and she smiled as she was packing Maya's clothes.

"Uh... no. Not yet." When he said that Rey looked right at him and smiled even bigger before continuing. 

"So boyfriend?"

"Yes."

"You seem... scary."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah... you're like this tall and that's scary." She raised her arm above her head as high as she could and he smiled again. Well the smile hasn't left... Rey cut in.

"Don't worry. He's not scary. He's only scary when he needs to be."

"When does that happen?"

"Well when people hurt the people he loves... He gets protective. He is scary to them."

"Ohhhh... I like you Ben." She patted his arm and got some things off of her bed. Ben was sure he was smiling like a dork by now. Maya is so funny and cute. 

"See Ben? You're already doing great." He guesses he is... When everything Maya needed was packed, Rey put her stuff in the trunk of the car and sat in the front with Leia. This meant Ben got to sit next to Maya on the way back to the house. 

"So... Mr. Ben?" He looked at Maya and smiled once again. 

"Yes?"

"What's your favorite color?" Leia started driving and Ben had to think about the question for a minute. 

"Probably red."

"Mine is puple." The way she pronounced purple was so cute. 

"What's your favorite color Rey?" Rey looked back at Maya and smiled.

"Yellow." 

"Oooo I like that color. You're wearing a shirt that color right now!"

"Yep." Rey glanced at Ben then sat forward. 

"Mr. Ben?"

"Yes?"

"How is your hair so poofy?" Even the kids notice... His hair is just too fabulous. 

"That's a secret I won't reveal. Not even to Rey."

"Don't hide secrets from your girlfriend... That's not nice." He chuckled and shook his head.

"Mr. Ben?" He is growing rather fond of his new nickname...

"How did you meet Rey?"

"Well, I'm a cop. And Rey is a ballet dancer-"

"Really?!"

"Yes. Rey is currently in school for that. I kind of work at this school and we met there on her first and my first day."

"That's cool... Do you have a gun? 'Cause you're a cop?"

"Yes but not with me."

"What about those weird shock thingys?"

"A taser?"

"Yeah."

"Yes I also have one of those."

"That's so cool!" Kids get excited about the littlest things... 

"And Rey, you have have those cool shoes that ballerinas have!" Rey looked back at her and nodded with another smile. 

"What about you Mrs. Driving lady? Do you do anything cool?" Leia laughed.

"I used to. I don't know if it's cool but I was the Mayor."

"Oh that is cool! What's your name?"

"I'm Leia. Ben's mom."

"Ooooh I thought you were Rey's mom. Now I see where Ben got his cuteness from." 

"Oh thank you. But Ben is way cuter than me."

"Sure mom. Sure." Leia and Maya talked for the rest of the ride. They seem to like each other a lot. When they got to the house Maya got out and her eyes widened.

"That house is huge!" Leia held her hand and brought her inside while Rey and Ben got her stuff. 

"Maya is quite the character." Rey smiled at Ben's comment and shut the trunk.

"Yeah. She really likes you Ben."

"She likes you too."

"Well yeah but there's something between you two. Like a connection. Same with Leia." When they got inside he saw Maya talking to Han. He was smiling down at her while Maya talked about whatever she was talking about. Maya kind of reminds him of Rey... Making everyone smile. Rey makes everyone smile too. And Maya's brown wavy hair looked like Rey's hair. Just a lot longer than Rey's. Maya's blue eyes was the most noticeable thing about her appearance. They were the bluest eyes he's ever seen. 

"Okay Maya. We need to discuss something with Rey and Ben. Alright?" Leia took Maya's hand and had her sit down on the couch. Everyone else did the same. Where's Luke? God if he comes in here and says something Ben might punch someone's face again. Leia let Rey speak first.

"So Maya... I don't live in this state actually. I live in Naboo with Ben. We came here to visit Leia and Han, Ben's parents. Ben and I will only be here until Sunday. That's 6 days from now. And... we can't take you with us. I don't have a very good paying job, I'm still in school, and Ben and I just aren't ready yet. But, you will be living here with Leia and Han. When I'm done with school and I get a good job, and I actually know where I'm living, I will have you come live with Ben and I in Naboo. I'm sorry I can't take you know it's just really complicated right now..."

"It's okay. Don't be upset. I'm so happy! I'll be okay with Leia and Han. They're awesome! And I know you'll come back for me."

"I swear on my life, I'll come back for you."

"I know. I don't care if it's years before you come back. I'll have something to look forward to."

"And just because we can't take you as our own child now doesn't mean we can't see each other. I'm sure me and Ben will come back to visit, or you'll even come to visit. It will just be a few years before you can live with me."

"Thank you Rey. And thank you Mr. Ben." The way Rey was talking was making him feel really happy. She's so good with kids. So kind and patient. And when she said ' _we_  can't take you as  _our_ own' it made his heart beat a little faster. Rey sees a future with Ben in it. Yes they'll have their disagreements but they'll get through it. They've been dating for what, 3 months now? They met in the beginning of August and it's almost Halloween. So nearly 4 months. That isn't very long but he already knows he'll be with Rey for the rest of his life. He is deeply and ridiculously in love with Rey. Nothing will change that.


	26. Chapter 26

Rey's POV:

Rey thought Maya was absolutely adorable. Everything she was doing was the cutest thing ever. Especially when she would talk to Ben. He is amazing with kids. Whenever Maya would tell him something Ben would listen intently with a smile on his face. And he was always so gentle when he spoke to her. He thinks he'll be a terrible dad? Not in a million years...

After telling Maya the plan of her staying with Leia and living with Rey and Ben when they're ready, Leia cooked some lunch. Maya went to the pool in the backyard with Han while Ben and Rey were getting their swimsuits. When they were in Ben's room though, she was feeling upset. She feels really guilty and bad about Maya. Also her hormones are all over the place because it's that time of the month that almost all girls deal with. She just barely discovered that when she used the bathroom. Ugh...

"Rey what's wrong?" Apparently she can't hide her emotions that well... She tried to hold back the tears but she couldn't. Ben immediately pulled her into his arms and rested his chin on the top of her head.

"I'm just upset... about Maya. I feel so terrible that I can't take her home now..." She was crying out the words and she hoped Ben could understand.

"And I'm on my period..."

"Aww... baby..." The new name for her and how sweet he was being made her more emotional.

"Baby it's okay... Do you need anything?"

"No..."

"Are you sure?"

"Actually... Can I have some ice cream?" She has no idea why but ice cream always makes her feel better.

"Yes. Sit down and I'll go get you some. I'm sure my parents have ice cream and if not I'll go buy some."

"You don't have to do that."

"I want to." She pulled away and sat down on his bed. He walked out of the room and she was doing her best to calm down. Usually she never cries or gets this emotional when she's on her period but she's really stressed about Maya. She's also worried that she won't be ready to start dancing again. Rey has been hiding that thought from Ben. What if she starts dancing again and won't be ready for tryouts? What if she isn't ready because of her stab wound? Ben came back in the room with a bowl of ice cream and handed it to her. She started eating it while Ben sat down next to her.

"Ice cream makes me feel a lot better... thank you. And sorry. I never get like this..."

"Don't be sorry. You're just overwhelmed." Yeah. That's the word.

"Hey I've been memorizing a new song to sing..."

"Really?! What song?"

"Ride the wave by Boyce Avenue." (A/N: You should listen to the song while reading this. Idk why but I'm getting Reylo vibes from it)

"I've never heard it..."

"I like the song. It reminds me of us in a way."

"Well sing it!"

"Eh... I'm not really ready..."

"You randomly sang for me after Poe pushed me in the pool that one time..."

"Well I had prepared myself."

"Ugh... you suck." She frowned and sighed.

"Err... Fine." Rey smiled and set her ice cream down. He started singing the song and she knew he was nervous by the way he played with his shirt. She made sure she paid close attention to the words and a quite a few lines caught her attention.

 _The tides will rise and fall, some days you will feel small_  
But ride the wave, I'll ride it in with you  
If we should wash ashore, I'll fight for you once more

 _I cannot comprehend, how one day it all could end_  
But I guess that's how it goes, nobody ever knows  
How long this life will last, so while we have the chance

 _We gotta get up, we gotta get up now_  
The ride is always worth the rush  
We can't give, we can't give up now  
Our love will always be enough

There was obviously more but that's what stuck out to her. She tried very hard to not be distracted by Ben's voice. It was near impossible. He finished the song and she quickly straddled him and kissed him.

"You have a beautiful voice."

"What about you Rey? Do you sing?" She did not want this conversation to come up now. She didn't want to ruin the moment. She used to love singing. She did it all of the time and even wrote her own songs with an old friend that she is not ready to tell Ben about yet. Toby... was someone very important to her. Nearly a brother. But... he had left her behind. Toby had no family so her family was basically his. When her family was dead she had no one to go to, so her and Toby were both put into the foster system. He was adopted, she wasn't. They lost touch and she honestly has no idea where he is. The reason she doesn't sing anymore, is because of this but mostly because she sang at her parents' funeral. Ever since... she hasn't wanted to sing ever again. She gave Toby all of her/their songs.

"Rey?"

"Oh umm... no. I don't sing."

"You gotta let me be the judge of that." What does she do? She isn't going to sing. Never again. Reminds her too much of her parents and Toby. She loved Toby as a best friend and brother. Even had some romantic feelings for him in Middle school but he didn't like her back. It was nothing new though. Finn, Poe, and Toby were the only people she'd ever hangout with.

"Please?"

"Nah... I suck..."

"Alright." He sighed and kissed her again. Thank god. She'll tell Ben about Toby and her songs and everything when she's ready. Now just isn't... the time. Their kiss was getting more heated and Ben was tugging at her shirt so she pulled away and rested her forehead on his.

"We can't."

"Why?" She pulled away and looked at him like it was obvious. It should be... She's on her period. After a few seconds he finally understood.

"I honestly don't care..." What does she say to that? If he really, really didn't care then okay but it's just... weird... Well- hell she doesn't know.

"I-" A knock on the door startled them both. She quickly got off Ben and opened the door to Maya.

"Hey are you guys coming or what?" Rey smiled.

"Yes. We'll be out in a minute okay?"

"Hurry your butts up." Rey laughed at her sassyness and got out her swimsuit. Maya left so Ben shut the door and quickly changed into his swimsuit. Rey didn't know if she wanted to change in here or the bathroom... Ben doesn't seem to care that it's that time of month. Well yeah he does and wants to comfort her but he doesn't let it bother him. She changed and they both headed out to the backyard. Han and Maya were swimming and when Rey and Ben walked out Maya screamed 'Yay'. Ben grabbed the sunscreen on the table outside and put some on all over. Rey put sunscreen on herself and struggled badly to get it on her back. She was wearing her bikini so she had to more sunscreen on and she couldn't reach.

"Rey, you're funny..." Ben started putting the sunscreen on her back for her.

"Thank you." She tried to ignore the feel of Ben's hands all over her back. His hands were so warm and she could feel the heat even though it was already really hot outside. When he finished she walked over to the pool, remembering that Ben still had to teach her how to swim.

"Ready to learn how to swim?"

Ben's POV:

"So kick your legs and push your arms out like this." He demonstrated the arm movement and Rey did the action. He's been teaching her to swim for about 10 minutes now and she's doing pretty good. Maya knows how to swim and it discouraged Rey a little bit. Ben told her it was alright and did his best to make her feel better. She's been a bit emotional today and he understands why. Ben made sure he didn't say anything that would make things worse for her. He had to be very careful with what he said.

When Rey cried in his arms earlier today, he wanted to make her feel better in any way he could. It must suck to be a girl... Anything she wants he'll get or do. He brought up the song he was memorizing without thinking and slightly panicked when Rey wanted him to sing. He did anyway and relaxed as he sang. He was curious though... What does Rey's singing voice sound like? He asked and that's when her smile wavered a little. He knew he hit something deep by the way her face fell. He didn't push too far because he just wasn't sure. He just knows that it bothered Rey to talk about her singing. He wonders why...

Back to now, Rey was being cheered on by Maya every time Rey accomplished something during her 'Swimming lesson'. That's what he'll call it. Han went back inside after a little bit.

"Okay try swimming now. I promise I'm right beside you." She... tried. She got too nervous and immediately grabbed onto Ben.

"I can't do this..."

"Yes you can. Keep trying." She did. And after about 5 tries she finally swam for a few seconds before getting too scared to keep doing it.

"You did it!" Rey smiled and kept doing it. After about 30 minutes of doing that she was pretty much a pro.

"It's really this easy?" Ben chuckled and slowly lowered his lips onto hers.

"Ew!!!" Ben looked at Maya, who was staring at them, and smiled. Rey giggled. Ben kissed Rey again and made a 'mwah' noise as he pulled away just to make Maya react again.

"That's so gross!" Ha! She should see what they do alone... Wait. That sounds wrong. Ew. He's glad he didn't say that out loud.

\---

After an hour of swimming and a big lunch, they swam for a few more hours. Everyone is now taking a break and relaxing in the sun. Rey has her sunglasses on and is tanning on the lounging chair. She claims she's lost her tan so she needs to get it back. Ben is just sitting next to Maya in the grass talking about their favorite things. Han and Leia were arguing about whether or not they should go out for dinner or stay. Luke hasn't shown his face yet today, except for coffee this morning, and he hopes Luke never does.

"Mr. Ben?"

"Yes?"

"What is your most favorite thing in the entire universe?" This question was easy.

"Rey."

"But she's not a thing silly."

"She's not. But she is my favorite."

"Let me guess Mr. Ben. You love her the most too."

"Correct." Maya looked like she was thinking for a few seconds and then brought her mouth close to his ear.

"Don't tell Rey but you're my favorite." She smiled and sat back down. She had to stand because she was so tiny.

"Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me." She giggled.

"Hey Mr. Ben... Since you're my favorite... You should throw Rey in the pool."

"Ah... I see. You said I'm your favorite so I'd throw Rey in the pool." He looked down at Maya and smirked. She giggled some more.

"If you throw her in the pool I'll... buy... hmm... I'll get someone to buy you whatever you want."

"I never said no... I was about to say yes. No need to give me anything." This should be good... He stood up and slowly walked over to Rey.

"Hey Rey?" She lifted her sunglasses up and squinted her eyes because of the sun.

"Yeah?"

"Can I have a hug?" He heard Maya laughing and he had to stop himself from smiling.

"Uh... sure?" He knelt down and 'hugged her'. He was really getting a grip on her so he could pick her up. When he did Rey squealed.

"What are you doing?!" He walked her over towards the pool and she instantly started flailing to get out of his arms.

"Ben, no! Don't! I just got dry! No!" She was trying to hard to get out of his arms.

"No no no no no. Stop! Ahh!" She was smiling so he knew she probably didn't actually care. Maybe a little but not fully. He threw her in the water and she screamed. Han and Maya were laughing while Leia glared at Ben.

"Benjamin!"

"Oh come on mom." He started laughing himself and when Rey came back out of the water she started laughing too.

"Asshole!" She looked over at Maya and covered her mouth.

"Oops! Sorry Maya! Excuse my language."

"I've already heard you say the S word so don't worry."

"When did I say shit?" Oh Rey...

"Oh shit- Oh craaaapp. Uh I'll shut up now." She got out and Ben decided to push her back in.

"Damn you Ben!" She got out and tried to push him in the water.

"You won't ever get me in the water. And if you do I'll pull you with me."

"Han come help me!"

"Don't get my dad to help..."

"Too late buttface."

"Oh so I'm a buttface now? Not bae? Or sexy old man?" He was laughing and Rey finally pushed him hard enough that he almost fell in the pool. Rey suddenly stopped pushing and smirked. She lowered her voice so no one heard.  **(A/N: Something that is about to be said is not appropriate at all so... I'm warning you. If you don't want to read that just skip the bold. For those of you that do read it... enjoy. Lol)**

**"We should go into the city later and keep asking people if I look like a train wreck. I want to win. You want me to suck your cock don't you?" Ben stood there in shock. Not because what she said was very inappropriate but because she said a word he thought she didn't even know existed. Holy shit it turned him on...**

Suddenly he was being pushed into the pool and he immediately grabbed onto Rey so she came with him. When they both came back out of the water he stood closer to her so no one could hear them.

"Geez Rey... That was probably the dirtiest thing you've ever said..."

"I knew that would work. I said that to shock you or something like that so I can push you."

"Where did you learn that?"

"School. Really anywhere." Makes sense.

"Can you talk like that more often?" She raised her eyebrows and smirked.

"Maybe. You have to do something first." Uh oh...

"What...?"

"Since apparently that was the dirtiest thing I've ever said, what's the dirtiest thing you can say? I'd like to hear it. So I could see how far I can go with this. Because I can get pretty bad." How dirty is she? Fuck... Obviously very dirty. She can go further than what she already said? He can too but it was just shocking to hear what she said. To think she can get worse is... hot. He'd like to find out so he has to say what he feels no matter how nervous it makes him. His feelings itself are very dirty.  **(A/N: And once again, what is going to be said is beyond appropriate. This is the filthiest I've ever written so you've been warned)**

**He pushed her up against the wall in the pool and made sure no one was listening to them or looking.**

**"I can't stop thinking about how good you feel. How good your cunt feels when I'm inside you. You're so tight I can't take it. And I just wish my hands were combing through your hair, pulling it, and making you groan with pleasure. The sounds you made last time made me so weak... And also, as I've mentioned, the thought of bending you over my counter won't leave my mind. And when that happens, I'm going to turn you around and you're going to take it." Rey bit her lip and she looked at him with the same intensity of his gaze. Those really were his thoughts. He just hides them. He was worried Rey would think it was disgusting or terrible but she seemed like she thought the opposite.**

"Well... Ben... I probably can't beat that but... I will try..." She turned around and pulled herself out of the pool. He followed and she was smirking as she started drying herself off. Just then, Luke walked into the backyard. Great. Just fucking great...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Hehe... For those of you that read the really inappropriate parts, I hope you were prepared. I've been wanting to get like that for a while but I've been nervous about it. Well after a bit of thinking I thought, you know what? Screw it.**


	27. Chapter 27

Rey's POV:

When Ben was teaching her how to swim she was nervous. It was easy but she felt a little pathetic. She is 20 years old and she doesn't know how to swim. Ben kept reassuring her that it's okay. She had a fear of the water so it's okay to not know how to swim.

She was relaxing on the chair and she would look over at Ben and Maya every few minutes. It made her smile to see them talking and smiling. Apparently they planned something because Ben got up and walked over to her acting very suspicious. Everything that happened after that was fun and she plans on one upping what Ben said in the pool. She could get really bad...

The fun ended when Luke walked into the backyard. It got a little tense and Ben went back to Maya. Luke walked over to Leia and they talked for a bit. Rey decided to go over to Ben and Maya.

"Hey guys."

"Hi Rey!" She sat down in the grass and Ben gave her a kiss on the cheek. Maya was smiling so big.

"What have you guys talked about?"

"Stuff. Mr. Ben said he'd keep my secret."

"Ah... You can trust Ben." Maya nodded.

"And Maya... I'm guessing it was your idea for Ben to push me in the pool?" Rey smirked.

"May... be..." Rey was about to say something but Leia interrupted.

"We're going out for dinner. All of you should get dressed and ready." They all went inside and went to their rooms to change. Once Rey and Ben were in his room they quickly put some clothes on.

"We find out who wins tonight Ben..." He laughed as he was brushing his hair.

"I'll win Rey..."

"No you won't."

"What's the score again? Oh right... 6 to 5. I'm winning already. I hope you're not a sore loser."

"I'm a little surprised you don't want me to suck you off." She looked over at him and smirked.

"Well... It's not that I don't want you to... I just want to win..."

"I knew you wanted me to." He blushed slightly and it made her laugh.

"Ben... You're cute." She left the room and she heard Maya call her name from down the hall. She went to the room Leia gave Maya and saw her sitting on the floor with all of her clothes everywhere.

"What do you need Maya?"

"I don't know what to wear..."

"I'll help you." She sat down next to Maya and went through the clothes.

"I want to look nice for dinner... but I don't have any nice clothes..."

"That's alright. We can make you look beautiful with what you have. And Maya... just know that you're already beautiful." Rey chose a denim skirt and a purple shirt from the pile of clothes.

"The shoes you're wearing will look great with the outfit. Can you get dressed on your own?"

"Yeah. Thank you Rey!" Rey smiled and left the room. She went downstairs and saw Ben and a Luke sitting alone in the kitchen in complete silence. Leia and Han were still outside and it looked like they were arguing so she decided the awkward silence is better. Rey sat down next to Ben and started tapping her fingers against the table. Ben looked at her and Luke just stared at the table.

"I really hope my parents stop arguing so we can go..."

"What are they arguing about?"

"No idea." Ben rolled his eyes and looked down at the table. Maya came running into the room with a smile on her face but it wavered when she looked at Luke. She walked over to Ben and Rey and smiled big again.

"How do I look Rey?"

"You look pretty." Rey and Maya smiled.

"What do you think Mr. Ben?" Ben smiled and turned in his seat to face her.

"I think you look very beautiful." Luke had no expression on his face but she knew he had something to say. Leia stormed inside and when she saw Maya she calmed herself down.

"Sorry about that. Han was being infuriating. We should get going..."

\---

They all went to eat at a restaurant called The Spaghetti Factory and it went better than Rey expected. Luke just stayed quiet and would only speak to Leia. Rey and Han were talking most of the time while Ben and Maya would talk.

"What are some things Ben has done that he doesn't tell us about?"

"Probably nothing. He is such a goody goody."

"I'm not a goody goody!" Ben must of heard her and Han talking.

"Yes you are Ben."

"Are not."

"Are to." Han cut it.

"You really are Ben." Ben groaned and rolled his eyes.

"What do I have to do to prove that I'm not a goody goody?" Rey went to answer but Han beat her to it.

"Litter, speed-"

"No."

"See? Goody goody."

"Fine. But what is wrong with that?"

"Nothing." Rey smiled and rested her head on Ben's shoulder. Everyone talked for a little bit longer then decided to finally leave. It's getting late. When they all walked outside she remembered her and Ben's weird game. Luckily Leia said she needed to stop at a store so she took Maya with her, Han, and Luke. Ben and Rey just said they'd wait by the car. They ended up asking people if they thought she looked bad for about 20 minutes. Some people got creepy and she wasn't very surprised because it's night time and they're in a pretty dangerous city. Rey was so happy because she is winning now. 12 to 14. Leia better hurry because Rey doesn't want Ben to catch back up and win. Just as she thought that, everyone was walking back to the car with grocery bags.

"I just won Ben..." Everyone got into the car and Ben smirked.

"How about we ask everyone in here?" No! If he does she'll lose!

"No. We agreed on random people."

"Fine." When they got back it was almost 11 so Rey put Maya to bed. It was pretty easy. Maya put pajamas on and went straight to bed. She hopes Maya enjoyed today... She went back downstairs and Luke was finally talking to Ben. Uh oh...

"I'm impressed with how well you are with Maya. You'll be a great dad." Ben looked at him weird and looked a little surprised.

"But..."

"Right when I thought I got your approval for something... Of course there is a 'but' with what you had to say..." Luke rolled his eyes and continued.

"Don't let her become a distraction like Rey."

"Oh my hell not this again..."

"I'll shut up now. Goodnight Ben." Luke passed Rey and went to bed while Ben stayed where he was standing in the living room. Rey walked over to him and put her arms around his waist.

"You okay?" Ben nodded and kissed her on the forehead.

"Ready for bed?" She smirked and raised her eyebrows.

"Remember that I won Ben..." He shook his head and smiled.

"I don't want to accept it."

"Well too bad. Come on." She ran upstairs and Ben followed behind. He turned the Star Wars movie back on and sat on the bed while Rey put her pajamas on. When she sat on the bed she rested her head on his shoulder as they watched the movie. It ended pretty soon because they had stopped it earlier. Since it was over, she straddled Ben and smirked once again. Ben rested his hands on her hips and after a few seconds Rey started kissing him. She's so happy she won...

Ben's POV:

Ben was a little shocked that Luke didn't say anything at dinner. He said occasional things but it was what he wanted to eat or if he had to tell Leia something. Maya was so sweet also, which didn't surprise him. She would talk about all of her friends in the orphanage and that even though some of them were mean to her she would always forgive them. He enjoyed dinner and even the "argument" about him being a goody goody. Only thing he's sad about is his loss in the little game him and Rey were playing. Not too sad though because it made Rey really happy. 

Now she's straddling him and really turning him on. He was about to kiss Rey but she started kissing him first. It was desperate which wasn't necessary because they have their whole lives to kiss. But neither of them cared. He wants her right now but he's knows that probably won't happen. She is on her period and she may not be comfortable with that. At least that's what it seemed like earlier. And he totally gets that. She started grinding against him and he moaned into their kiss. She is driving him absolutely crazy... 

"Rey..."

"Hmm?"

"We should probably stop..." She giggled against his lips and pulled away.

"I won remember?" Oh... Oh! Why is he so nervous about that?

"Rey you don't have to..."

"It's fine. You know me... If I don't want to do something I don't do it." He nodded.

"Does this have to do with something from your past? Snoke?" He thought about it and it's a possibility...

"I don't know..." 

"You're worried about me when it's probably just yourself. Am I right?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... Something from when you were stuck with Snoke is coming back to you. It's scaring you..." He does remember a lot and it's starting to come back. 

"Snoke made Phasma..." He didn't finish his sentence. It all hit him. This does have something to do with his past... 

"I'm sure you can guess what Snoke made Phasma do... It just makes me feel guilty. I could of fought back and stopped it. I feel like I was the one that made Phasma do it... I don't want to make you do the same thing... I feel like some bad guy all the time. Like my stupid brother..." 

"Ben... None of that was your fault. If you would of fought back you just would of gotten yourself more hurt. You're not the bad guy... Snoke is. People like Hux and Kylo are. You are a good guy. Better than that. You just haven't realized that yet." Rey reminds him of that repeatedly but why can't he believe it? 

"I wish you never killed Snoke..."

"Why?"

"So I could kill him for you. Fuck I'd kill him everyday if I could. He is making you worry about things that you shouldn't ever worry about." Ben smiled at the tone of Rey's voice. She sounded so defensive and angry. 

"It's alright Rey. I'll be okay. It will just take time to stop thinking like this." She hugged him and he ran his hands over her back. They suddenly heard a knock on the door and it made them both jump. Rey moved off of him and he got up to get the door. Little Maya was standing right in front of him. He knelt down in front of her and she looked scared.

"What is it?"

"I can't sleep. I had a bad dream..." 

"Do you want to come in here?"

"Yeah..." He nodded and stood back up to let Maya walk into the room. Rey smiled and Maya sat on the bottom of the bed. 

"I'll sleep here and you and Mr. Ben can have your space." Maya smiled and got snuggled up at the bottom of the bed. Ben laughed and gave her a blanket. He turned the light off and they all got settled in bed. Rey had her arms wrapped around him with her head on his chest.

"See Ben? You're not a bad guy..." 

\---

Ben was woken up by a pillow being thrown at his head and giggling from Maya and Rey. He looked around and they were both standing up with pillows in their hands. 

"Who's idea was it?" He already knew it was Maya's. 

"Mine!" Rey raised her hand and giggled. So this wasn't Maya's idea... He smirked and slowly sat up. 

"Hey Maya, will you go tell Leia we'll be down in a minute?"

"Yep!" She ran out of the room and Rey looked at him weird. Ben stood up and walked closer to her.

"Oh no..." He quickly picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. He walked her out of the room and tickled her as he walked her downstairs. Throwing her in the pool might be too much but he doesn't like being woken up when he could of slept longer. And 'cause it's fun. 

"Ah! Ben! What are you doing?!" Ben walked her into the kitchen and everyone was sitting at the table. Maya was doing what she was told but started laughing when she saw Ben and Rey. 

"Mr. Ben what are you doing?" Ben brought Rey outside and she started kicking her legs around.

"No! Ben!!! Do not throw me in the pool!!!" Leia, Han, Luke, and Maya all followed them outside and Ben could hear Han and Maya laughing. Leia had to ruin it though.

"Benjamin! Put her down!" He ignored her and tried throwing Rey in the pull but she was holding onto him too tight. She's going to rip his shirt... 

"Come on Rey... It will wake you up."

"No!" He tickled her some more and he finally got her loose enough to throw her in the water. Rey came out of the water and started swimming to get out of the pool.

"You fucking asshole!" Ben laughed and once Rey was out of the water she charged at him. 

"I just threw a pillow at you!" She smacked his arm and he laughed some more. 

"So it was you that threw the pillow. I thought it was all Maya..." She flipped him off and Leia finally walked up to them.

"That's enough you two. Ben, grow up. And Rey, remember there is a child here." They both apologized and when he wasn't paying attention Rey pushed him in the water. He should of seen that coming... 

\---

_ 5 days later _

Ben and Rey are leaving today and he's honestly kind of sad. He's going to miss Maya and his parents. They spent the last 5 days swimming, eating, and watching Star Wars. Rey got caught up on all of the movies and now she's non-stop talking about what she thinks will happen in the next movie. 

Luke and Ben had argued once but it wasn't nearly as bad as the first time this week. Luke went home yesterday so he's glad. Since it's Rey and Ben's last day here, they're packing everything and getting ready to go home. He's grown to really like Maya and that might be the hardest part about leaving. 

Ben shut the trunk of the car and went back inside. They got everything in the car and their flight leaves in about an hour. He hates goodbyes but he's got to do them. Rey was sitting down looking a little upset and he knew why. Rey cried to him about it last night. She doesn't want to leave Maya. 

"Bye mom."

"Bye Ben. Call me when you know more about Kylo."

"Okay. I love you."

"Love you too. Be safe. And please make grand babies..."

"Mom... No."

"I'm kidding." Ben hugged Leia and Rey finally got up to say her goodbyes. 

"Thank you guys for having me. I enjoyed it."

"Your welcome. Call us anytime." Rey gave Leia a hug then knelt down to talk to Maya. This is the first time Ben has seen Maya this sad... 

"Maya... I'm going to miss you... so much." Rey started to softly cry.

"I promise I will see you again. Okay?"

"Okay... Goodbye Rey..." Rey gave her a hug and smiled.

"Leia and Han will take good care of you..." She stood up and wiped her tears away. Ben knelt down now and smiled. 

"Goodbye Mr. Ben..." He hugged her and as he did she whispered in his ear "You'll always be my favorite." 

"And you're my favorite."

"I thought Rey was your favorite..."

"So are you." He pulled away and stood next to Rey. He'll say bye to his dad when he drops them off at the airport. They left and got in the car and soon Han was driving them to the airport. Ben and Rey held hands the whole way there while Rey rested her head on Ben's shoulder. He felt her tears on his shirt and squeezed her hand tighter. Once they got there Han walked them inside and said goodbye to Rey.

"Bye Han."

"Bye Rey. I like you. Ben chose well." They hugged and then Han walked up to him.

"See ya kid. Keep her safe from assholes like Kylo."

"I will. Bye dad."

"Love you."

"Love you too." They hugged and now Ben and Rey are walking onto the plane. It's hard to leave his parents again. He feels like he won't ever see them again every time he leaves. It will be okay though. Everything will be fine. Rey will start dancing again, he'll start working again, and everything will go back to normal. Right? 


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **I got a question asking why Kylo Ren's "real name" in the story is Jacen. There are some Star Wars books that are about Han Solo and Leila's children. They actually had 3 kids. Jacen, Jaina, and Anakin. Jacen turned to the dark side and I think if the movies would of gone with the books, Kylo Ren would of been Jacen. Jacen later went by the name of Darth Caedus. The funny thing is in the books Luke has a son named Ben. Well anyway, that's why Kylo is Jacen.
> 
> This entire chapter will be Rey's POV because it's a big one. Sorry for those of you who don't like her POV**

Rey's POV:

Rey was relieved to get back to Naboo but also sad. She is going to miss Maya and Ben's parents. She'll see them again though and she can call them whenever. When her and Ben got back to his house she immediately sat on the couch. She knows she's technically not healed completely for another 2 days but she really, really wants to start dancing again tomorrow. It'd be perfect because it's a Monday and she can start right at the beginning of the week. But Ben might not let her... If he doesn't she'll just spend the day finding a Halloween costume for Tuesday. Geez it's a lot closer than she thought... Ben sat next to her and relaxed with her.

"Ben I want to start dancing tomorrow..."

"You're not completely healed yet."

"I knew you'd say that... Ugh I miss it so much. You have no idea..." He smiled and rested his hand on her leg.

"If you really want to dance that badly then go for it. Just go easy. I don't want you hurting yourself..." 

"I know. I'll be careful. You can come and make sure for yourself." They sat in silence for a few minutes because they were both really tired.

"When are you going to start working again?"

"Probably tomorrow I guess. I am missing it a little... And I'm getting poor from not working so..." Rey felt guilty for that but she won't say anything because Ben would just say it's fine. 

"I'm also going to visit Kylo and Hux tomorrow in jail. I need answers out of Kylo." She nodded and got out the Star Wars book Ben let her use. He smiled and got up.

"I'm gotta go get some things from the store. I'll be back okay?" Rey would go but she just wants to lay down. 

"Alright."

"Lock everything when I leave and don't answer the door. Even though Snoke is dead and Kylo and Hux are in jail, I don't want to take any chances..." She nodded and once he left she did as she was told. She is a little scared but no one is going to hurt her. She'll be fine. Any noise she heard made her flinch or jump. She is so paranoid... Rey's phone buzzed, meaning she got a text. She hopes this distracts her... The book hasn't been working because every time she tries to read she can't concentrate on the words. 

**Finn: So... Rose and I are going out tonight...**

**Rey: Really?!**

**Finn: Yeah. I asked her out the other day and she said yes.**

**Rey: Yay! I'm sorry things didn't work out with Poe though...**

**Finn: It's okay. I'm realizing what an asshole Poe is. I deserve better.**

**Rey: Good for you. Can I call you? I'm alone and I'm scared...**

**Finn: Of what?**

**Rey: Well I'm at Ben's and he left to go to the store. I'm worried someone is going to find me again. But that's just stupid. Snoke is dead and Hux is in jail with Kylo...**

Finn called her and she quickly answered. She hopes Ben will be back soon... 

\---

She talked to Finn for about an hour and Ben finally got back. He had some grocery bags and he set them down on the counter. 

"Okay he's back. Bye Finn."

"See ya." She hung up and quickly walked over to Ben. She hugged him and he hesitated before hugging her back.

"What's wrong?"

"That sucked. I didn't like being alone at all..." 

"I'm sorry... You're fine though. I wouldn't of left you here if I thought you'd be harmed." Rey nodded and sat down at the counter. She looked through the pictures on her phone and smiled at the ones of Maya. She pulled up the picture of her and her parents because it always comforts her. Every once in a while she'll pull the picture up, especially when she has a lot of anxiety. 

"Is that your parents?" Ben sat next to her and she knew he saw her looking at the picture. 

"Yeah..." She sighed and stared at the picture in front of her. 

"Can I ask you something?" Rey looked at Ben and nodded. 

"What was being with a foster parent like...? You told me briefly about it before..." She hates the subject of Unkar Plutt but she wants to tell Ben. She needs to. 

"It was terrible honestly. Not all foster parents are terrible but mine was awful. His name is Unkar Plutt. He was my foster parent for 5 months after my parents died. That was probably the worst I've ever been... I was depressed and I was just in a really bad place. With my parents dying, losing... someone, and living with that person, I wasn't very... I don't know the word..." She almost slipped up and said losing Toby but luckily Ben didn't really notice. She isn't ready to bring Toby up yet.

"What did he do...?"

"He'd make me work for him... and if I didn't get the job done or if I didn't do it correctly I don't get food that day. I was really underweight because of that. I'm a little surprised he even let me dance. I had no bed, no job, it was really difficult to even graduate, he took everything from me... This is all I have left of my parents. Well and my car but that's from my grandpa. When I turned 18 I was out of there as soon as possible. Now I'm here." She smiled and Ben looked a little sad. 

"I'm sorry you had to go through that..."

"It's fine. I'm okay now." He slowly nodded, as if he was unsure. She put her phone down and grabbed onto Ben's hand.

"I'm going to bed." Ben nodded and she went to his room. It's only 9 pm but she's really tired and really excited for dance tomorrow.

\---

_All she could see was black. She couldn't move and she couldn't see anything but black. Rey felt trapped. She couldn't escape. She felt like she couldn't breathe. After what felt like hours of this she saw what looked like Kylo, Ben, and Maya... In this dark room was them and she wanted to walk closer but she still couldn't move. Kylo was holding onto Maya and had a knife in his hand while she was crying really hard. Ben was standing in front of them looking scared. It felt real... But this is just a dream... It has to be..._

_"Leave Maya alone!"_

_"Give me one reason why I should. She is my daughter. Not yours." What? This can't be real... It just can't._

_"B-because you're not safe to be around! You hurt Rey! You fucking nearly got her killed! You know what else you did to her after everything that happened with Snoke! A-and you killed our dad! And Maya wouldn't even exist if you would of just left Tiffany alone! You made Rey's friend kill herself because of you! All you do is destruction! I spent my whole life blaming myself for your stupid mistakes!" Kylo let go of Maya and pointed the knife towards Ben._

_"I fucking hate you Ben. I always have." Kylo pushed Ben up against the wall and held the knife up against his neck._

_"You're nothing but a worthless piece of shit."_

_"Kill me. Go ahead. But whatever you do, leave Rey out of it."_

_"Don't worry. I wasn't planning on it. Your baby deserves to live and it can't if I kill Rey." Rey was really, really confused. This is such a fucking weird dream._

_"It's such a shame that you won't be here..." Ben had a few tears falling down his face and then Kylo stabbed Ben in the stomach. Even though this was a dream she still freaked out. It felt too real... And she is watching the love of her life die and she couldn't do anything about it._

_"No! Ben!" She started crying and shaking uncontrollably and before she could do anything else everything went black again._

......

Rey jerked awake to the sound of her alarm. She sat up quickly and she frantically looked around the room. She was sweating and breathing really hard. What the hell was that dream...? She looked over to the side of her and Ben wasn't in bed.

"Ben?" No answer.

"Ben?!" She started to panic a little bit. After seeing him be killed in that dream she is really worried. None of the dream made any sense at all...

"Ben?!" She got out of bed and walked into the living room. He was asleep on the couch. She was instantly relieved but she wondered why he was asleep in here. She walked over to him and started waking him up.

"Wake up. We have to get ready." He opened his eyes and looked around, confused.

"Did I fall asleep out here?"

"Guess so." He sat up and yawned. Ben looked at her and furrowed his eyebrows. 

"What's wrong?"

"N-nothing." 

"Are you sure...?" She stayed silent and sat down next to him. He turned his head towards her and he looked a little worried.

"Rey, are you sure nothing is wrong? You look like something is bothering you..." She teared up a little bit and looked down at the floor.

"I just had a bad dream that's all..." He rested his hand on her leg and moved his head down in front of her so she could see him from where she's looking. 

"Do you want to talk about it...?"

"Kinda... But I don't know... I'm really nervous about it... I feel like it's real... like it's going to happen..."

"What?" 

"I was trapped in some room and I don't know why but everything was just black... I couldn't ever move... But I saw you, Kylo, and Maya. Kylo was about to hurt Maya but you said to leave her alone. After that he said... wait." She looked at him and he looked confused.

"Ben... Did Kylo... ever have any girlfriends?" He thought for a second before nodding.

"A few. Why?"

"Do you remember any of their names?"

"Some but why-"

"I'll explain in a minute." 

"Umm... I think Hailey, Hannah, uh... and some girl with a name that starts with a T." Rey was getting a little more worried.

"Was it Tiffany?" 

"Oh yeah. Tiffany." Rey's eyes widened and he looked even more confused.

"What?" Rey started to panic. It could just be a different Tiffany. A coincidence. But how? Her dream literally entailed that Kylo was Tiffany's boyfriend and he is the father of her baby. Maya. Shit. This... no. It's not real. It's just a coincidence. 

"What Rey?" 

"I think Kylo is Maya's dad..." Ben seemed to understand where the name Tiffany came from.

"Tiffany... Your friend that killed herself? Maya's mom?"

"Yes."

"It could just be two different girls."

"Yeah but..."

"But what?"

"In my dream Kylo said something to you about Maya being his daughter not yours. Maya has one mom and that's Tiffany. Kylo dated a Tiffany. I just don't understand how it could be 2 different people... Also you screamed something about him hurting me and him killing your dad and you literally even said Tiffany's name. You said if he would of just left Tiffany alone Maya wouldn't exist. Ben I know this sounds crazy but I literally think I saw what will happen in the future..." 

"Rey it could just be all of your thoughts coming together and creating this weird dream."

"You don't believe me..." She nodded and stood up. 

"I'm just going to get ready." She started walking back to his room to start changing.

"Rey wait." He followed her and grabbed onto her arm.

"I do believe you it's just... it all just sounds..."

"Fake. I know. Now let me change." 

"No. We're not done talking." She started tearing up again.

"Well you're just going to keep thinking it's just another nightmare! I'm really scared if isn't! And it's not just because of Maya! There's more that I'm really worried about!" 

"Why are you so worried about this being real? If Kylo really is Maya's father then we'll figure everything out. But I don't get why it's so worrying to you." 

"Because he killed you!!!" She started crying and Ben just looked at her.

"He fucking killed you..." She isn't going to say anything about the baby Kylo mentioned. Ben already thinks this whole dream becoming reality is crazy. Ben gently pulled her into his room and had her sit down on the bed. He sat down next to her and sighed.

"So if this dream turns out to be real... is that all we have to worry about?" She looked at him and shook her head. She has to be completely honest. Even if she doesn't want to. 

"Let's write this all down... in case you forget. Then as each thing happens we'll see if this dream comes true."

"But what if you really do die Ben?"

"Then I die." She wiped her tears away even though that did nothing.

"But I don't want to lose you... I can't."

"Rey it will be okay."

"No. It won't. I don't even know when this could possibly happen. It could happen years from now. It could happen in a few days. We can't prevent Kylo from killing you.

"And that's why we'll write this down. Okay?"

"Alright." He got some paper and a pen and sat back down. 

"So tell me everything that happened. Even if you already said it."

"Maya is Kylo's daughter. Tiffany's boyfriend. The one who... raped Tiffany while drunk..." Ben looked at her and he looked like he wanted to say something but just looked back down at the paper and wrote what she said. 

"Umm... It's getting a little hard to remember... But Kylo killed Han. Umm... Kylo hurts me more apparently." She saw his jaw clench which meant that made him angry.

"Anything else?"

"Umm... Well he kills you. He hates you." He wrote that and crossed it out.

"Already knew that so your dream is already starting to come true."

"Ben that doesn't help!"

"Sorry."

"Umm... he said... nevermind. Anyways, he-"

"What did he say?"

"Nothing important."

"What?"

"He won't kill me because if he does the baby will die too. The baby deserves to live without you in it's life. Something like that."

"What baby?" She didn't answer.

"What baby Rey?" She still didn't answer.

"What baby?!" 

"Ours." 

"I still don't-"

"In the dream he wouldn't kill me because I was pregnant. With your baby. The baby doesn't deserve you. It's father." Ben suddenly looked panicked.

"Are you pregnant?"

"What?! No. That's not even possible. Like I said, I have no idea when this dream took place." 

"So you're not pregnant..."

"No. I'm not." He nodded and wrote down the last detail of her dream.

"Is that all?"

"I think so. Yeah."

"We'll cross these off if they ever come true. If not, then don't worry about it." Rey nodded and hugged him.

"I love you Ben."

"I love you too."  

"I really have to get ready now. I'm gonna be late." 

\---

She walked into NU with Ben beside her. She is so excited for her first day back and she didn't let her dream from last night upset her. Ben seems pretty excited too to get back into the routine of things. Once they got inside Ben went off to do his thing at the school while she went to her class. Once she walked in Jyn and Rose ran up to her.

"Oh my gosh Rey we're so glad you're back." Rose gave her a hug and Rey smiled. 

"I'm glad I'm back too."

"So... what are you being for Halloween tomorrow?"

"I don't know yet. Probably nothing."

"Are you doing anything today?"

"No not-"

"Alright. We're going shopping for a costume."

"Okay... When though 'cause I have work?"

"During our lunch hour. And Ben will love what I have in mind for you..."

"Uh... what do you have in mind exactly?" Jyn snorted at what Rose said. 

"Let me just say... it's not something Ben would want you to wear in public." Rey didn't really get it. 

"More of a... private setting." Now she got it. 

"That's really bold though Rose..."

"Exactly."

"But Be-"

"Guys like bold girls. Trust me."

"A-are you sure...?"

"Positive." Lizzy got everyone's attention and that meant class was about to start. Rey talked to the teacher about going easy and Lizzy was fine with it. Rey just needs to be ready for auditions in 5 days. They went through class as usual when someone suddenly walked into the classroom. She recognized him but she didn't have time to make out who it was because he wasn't facing her anymore. He talked to the teacher for a few minutes then sat down. She was about to look at him but she had to turn around for the left side of the combo at the barre. Rey wanted to know who that was... 

"Rey I know you have to go easy but that doesn't mean you can't point. Point your toes!" Shit. Rey did as she was told and continued. Once the combo was done Ben walked in the room. And once he walked towards the teacher she could finally look at the familiar boy. When she looked at the boy's face she was shocked. Toby?! What the hell is he doing here?! The teacher caught her attention.

"Rey? Officer Solo needs to speak with you." Rey nodded and looked at Toby as her and Ben walked out. She kept looking at the door once it was shut and they stopped.

"How is class going?"

"Uh... good."

"Why do you keep looking at the door?"

"No reason. What did you need to talk about?"

"I'm going to see Kylo so I need to leave. If you need anything call me."

"Alright. Rose can give me a ride also." Ben went to say something but the door opened and shut and it caught both of their attentions. It was Toby... walking right to her. Oh god...

"Rey is that you?" She fully faced him and her heart was pounding so hard. She hasn't seen Toby in... years. 

"Oh my god Toby." She walked over to him and the both wrapped their arms around each other. She started crying because she was so happy to see him. 

"I missed you so much... I think about you all of the time..." She thought Toby had forgotten about her but she was glad that he didn't. Ben made a coughing noise and that's when she remembered him. Oh crap... She pulled away and smiled before pulling Ben beside her. 

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm here for ballet. I didn't think you were already going here." As kids her and Toby both loved dancing. Toby was more of a hip hop kind of guy but he liked ballet too. They danced together a lot and taught each other different things. She is so excited to be dancing with him again.

"How's... life been?" Toby shrugged and smiled.

"It's been alright. I just moved here so... How's yours been?"

"Great." They stood in silence for a few seconds and when Rey looked up at Ben he seemed like something was bothering him. She is pretty sure she knows exactly what's bothering him.

"Well Toby, this is my boyfriend Ben. Ben this is... uh Toby." When she said the word boyfriend Toby's smile disappeared but was back by the end of her sentence. 

"Nice to meet you Ben. I'm glad Rey finally found someone. She wasn't a very... easy to get kind of girl." Ben was a little off but he still shook Toby's hand.

"Well I'll let you two catch up. I really gotta go."

"Ben-"

"Bye sweetheart." He kissed her on the forehead before walking away.

"Umm... Toby you can go back in there. I really need to talk to him."

"Alright. See ya." She ran towards Ben and stopped in front of him. He was looking down but looked up at her when he almost ran her over. 

"Ben wait."

"Why?"

"Please?"

"Who was that?"

"Stay so I can explain. Please?" 

"Okay." 

"Toby... was... my best friend. We were probably closer than Finn, Poe, and I. I've known him since kindergarten. He practically lived with me because he was an orphan. We wrote songs, danced-"

"Wrote songs?" This is the part she was especially not ready to talk about.

"I thought you didn't like singing-"

"I know what I said. Umm... Can we sit somewhere?" He nodded and they sat down at a bench.

"So I actually love singing. I used to do it all of the time. Toby and I would write songs together, I'd write my own, and we'd sing them. But... when my parents died... I-I sang at their funeral. I've never sang again ever since. It's too much... I gave all of my songs to Toby and I'm sure he's read them. Which is a little weird because I've written about boys I liked, my depression, and just really deep and personal things. And don't get all protective and shit when I say what I'm about to say. Promise?"

"Promise."

"I used to really, really like Toby. You know, more than a friend. I wrote some songs about him but I never had the guts to show them the songs. When I told him how I felt... He said he didn't feel that way towards me. I promise I don't like him anymore though. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Anyways, we were both orphans so we had to go into foster care together. He got adopted pretty quickly and left me behind. I haven't ever seen him again until today. It's really weird to see him."

"Why didn't you ever tell me about him?"

"It's not just something I'm going to bring up in a normal conversation. I wasn't ready and I'm not even ready now but it wouldn't be fair to you if I didn't tell you. It's something I've never told anyone about and I hate really even thinking about it."

"Is that what bothered you when I asked you to sing?"

"Yeah. And I'm not ever singing again so don't ask me to."

"Okay. I understand." 

"I'm really sorry I didn't tell you before but we have our whole lives to get to know each other. You know? We've only known each other for 2 months and haven't even been dating for 1." He nodded and she grabbed onto his hand.

"Now you can go. I have to get back in there." 

"Okay."

"Love you."

"Love you too." He gave her a quick kiss and left the school. She went back to class and went on with it. She's really nervous to talk to Toby again. What is going to happen? 


	29. Chapter 29

**Someone asked me what I think Maya and Toby would look like if they were real. I've always had a picture of what Maya looks like and idk why I've never shared it. I recently found a picture as to what Toby looks like. Well here it is :)**  
  
  
  


Ben's POV:

Ben didn't really know what to think about Rey's dream. When she told him about it he really thought it was just a weird nightmare. But the more he thought about it the more it made sense. There is no way Maya can't be Kylo's daughter. If she isn't then he'd honestly be shocked. This must be why Ben and Maya connected so well... Maya is his niece. Most likely. The rest of Rey's dream though didn't make as much sense... He doesn't want to believe that Rey will be hurt by Kylo in the future. He doesn't want to believe that Kylo will kill their own father. He doesn't want to believe that he'll be killed and leave behind Rey and apparently their child... If that happens Rey would have to do everything on her own. 

The reason he's scared for this to happen is because the first part turned out to be real. He is still going to get the answer out of Kylo for sure but Ben already knows the answer. If the first part is real why wouldn't everything else be? He just doesn't know how in the world Rey got all of this in a dream... They'll just have to see what happens. 

Besides all of that, he has another problem. Toby. Toby and his perfect blonde hair and blue eyes. He's way more attractive than him and probably more Rey's type. It's not really a problem but it feels like a problem. Ben saw the way he looked at Rey. The way Toby looked her up and down when she wasn't looking. And Rey was completely oblivious to it. He's just feeling so angry right now. When he left the school all he wanted to do was punch something. Rey had told him she wasn't ready to bring Toby up and he understands that but it still frustrated him a little bit. But he needs to focus. He has to deal with Kylo now. 

Ben walked into the police station and mentally prepared himself as he walked down to Kylo's cell. He does admit that he's nervous. Very nervous... Once Ben got to Kylo's cell, the guards let him through. Kylo was sitting on the floor against the wall with a bored look on his face.

"Kylo. Come with me." 

"I was hoping you'd be here soon. It's been a while."

"A week."

"Yeah, yeah. Where are we going?"

"We need to talk." Ben pulled out his handcuffs and Kylo rolled his eyes as he stood up. Once Kylo was standing he turned around and put his hands behind his back. Ben handcuffed him and pulled him with him to one of the interrogation rooms. It felt wrong... almost. To be bringing his own brother into a room where criminals are interrogated. Ben wouldn't say his brother is a criminal, but he has done some illegal things. And risked the safety of Rey. Kylo sat down in the chair while Ben just stayed standing. He has too many nerves. 

"I'm just going to cut to the chase." He paused and slammed his hands on the table in front of him. It didn't affect Kylo at all.

"What the hell Kylo?!"

"What are you referring to..."

"Why the fuck were you working with Snoke?!"

"Ah... I see. You're pissed because I put your slut in danger." Ben has never wanted to punch Kylo as badly as he does right now. 

"She's not a slut!" He turned around and ran his hands through his hair. Come on Ben. You're here to get answers. He faced Kylo once again.

"Answer my damn question."

"Well I really was in the fighting business. But I met Snoke. Snoke was offering a once in a lifetime opportunity. So I took it. I did what he asked. I could of gotten what I deserved but you killed Snoke and put me in here."

"W-why Snoke? You  _know_ what he did to me."

"You know what Ben? I honestly don't give a shit about what he did to you."

"Shocker." Ben suddenly remembered Tiffany and Maya. Shit. 

"So how long am I going to be in this hell for? I have a job to do."

"Well I need to figure out the math. First of all, you put someone in danger, you had a gun without a permit so therefore it's illegal, you assaulted 2 people, one of those 2 include a girl, and now I'm pretty sure you're going to be charged for rape. So I'd say about, eh... maybe 8 to 15 years?" Kylo actually looked really nervous but only for a few seconds.

"I don't know what you're talking about but I never raped anyone."

"Hmm... did you by chance date someone named Tiffany?"

"I believe so. Tiffany... Olsen?"

"When did you date?"

"She was like 15, I was 19?"

"Oh that's just fantastic. Now you're charged for being involved with a minor. Make that 20 years." Kylo looked very angry.

"That's not illegal!"

"Actually it is. I can show you-"

"Alright I get it." 

"Tiffany Olsen was one of Rey's close friends. Did you rape her?" Kylo sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Look, we were both drunk at a party. It was her fault as much as it was mine. She knew I could take whatever I want." Ben looked at him with disgust.

"So you did rape her."

"I wouldn't say rape... But I do admit I'm not proud of it."

"You do know the meaning of consent right?"

"Of course dumb ass!"

"That was sarcasm idiot." He paused. 

"Just because she was drunk doesn't mean she is consenting in anything. She didn't want it. She was conscious enough to know what she wanted and didn't want. You do realize you made this woman kill herself right?!"

"Yeah that was so fucking stupid."

"It's not fucking stupid it's fucking tragic!" Ben breathed for a few seconds before getting to the question he's been avoiding. 

"Did you get her pregnant...?" 

"Yes."

"Do you remember the baby's name?"

"Kind of. I left as soon as I found out she was thinking of names. I don't want kids. They're fucking annoying."

"What were the names she thought of...?"

"I think it was Charlie... for a boy and Maya for a girl? I can't remember really. This was 5 years ago Ben." Maya. Maya for a girl. Tiffany had the girl... He felt like he was going to pass out. He has a... he-he has a niece... Maya is his niece. Oh god... He adopted his niece with Rey... This has to be why he connected so easily with Maya... they're related. 

"Ben?"

"You have a daughter Kylo."

"And how do you know that? Well how the fuck do you know about any of this?"

"Like I said, Tiffany was Rey's close friend. Rey was supposed to take care of Maya when Tiffany killed herself but she wasn't able to. We found Maya when we were in Chandrila." Ben didn't really want to tell Kylo about the details but he deserves some of it. It's his daughter after all...

"Rey adopted Maya. Which means basically I did too."

"So now you have a kid? Just wonderful."

"No. She's with Leia until Rey is ready. And when I'm ready." 

"Well why are you telling me this? I don't give a shit whether I have a daughter or not." Ben ignored that.

"Just know, that I will do everything in my power to keep you away from Maya." That seemed to anger Kylo even more.

"I'd like to see you try Ben."

"I will. We're done here." Ben asked one of the guards to take Kylo back to his cell and Ben left the station as soon as he could. Ben was going to have a panic attack. He feels it. Shit. He got in his car and he knew he wouldn't be able to drive. So he pulled his phone out and called Rey, praying that she would pick up.

"Hello?"

"Rey... I need you right now."

"What is it...?"

"C-can I explain when I see you? Please just hurry to the police station... I-I..."

"I'm on my way." 

"How are you getting here?"

"I'll ask Rose or Toby. Someone. Just hang on. I'm hurrying."

"Don't you have class?"

"Lunch break. I'm supposed to go costume shopping but that can wait."

"Rey no! Go do that..."

"No. I'm coming to you. End of discussion." Then she hung up. 

Rey's POV:

When Ben left she went back to class and finished the last 20 minutes. Once it was over she was about to go shopping with Rose when she suddenly got a call from Ben; and when she answered he sounded out of breath. She was worried about him. So she forgot all about shopping and asked Rose for a ride.

"Of course! We can take Ben with us! Maybe that will get his mind off of what's bothering him." Rey nodded and they both drove to the police station. She saw Ben sitting in his car so she rushed to his door. She knocked on the window and he quickly got out. He was crying and breathing heavy. She knew what this was. He was having a panic attack... She seen him have one once but it was small and barely noticeable. 

"Ben. I'm here. I'm here..." She rested her hands on his face and made him look at her.

"Tell me what's wrong..."

"Kylo... he... he is Maya's dad. He raped Tiffany... fuck I have a niece... Something in your dream came true... fuck I'm going to die. I'm literally going to die. Kylo is going to murder me. I-I can't fucking think... I- you- we- ugh!" 

"Shh... Ben it will be okay. Calm down. Breathe... Did you take your anxiety medicine today?"

"No... shit..."

"Where is it?" 

"Somewhere in my car..." Rey nodded and got into his car. He found his medication bottle and got the dosage he needed then handed it to him.

"Ben you need to remember to take these."

"I-I know. I got distracted this morning." She couldn't help but feel guilty for that. Her phone went off and she was getting a call from an unknown number. She answered worried about who it was but from the voice she could tell it was Toby.

"Oh hey Toby... Look Ben is having a... situation right now." 

"I'm sorry it will just be a second. Did you get that invitation thing from Unkar Plutt to his party?"

"Uh no?"

"Really? He said he sent you one..."

"Hmm... Well if I get one I definitely don't want to go... Look Toby meet us at the school in an hour. Okay?"

"Alright." They said bye and she hung up the phone. She didn't even question how he got her phone number. She'll figure that out later.

"Ben are you doing okay?"

"What do you not want to go to?" He looked at her in the eyes and she panicked for a second. Oh no... Unkar has done some things that she still hasn't told him about yet... She heard Rose yelling their names from her car and luckily she got out of answering Ben's question.

"We're going costume shopping for Halloween. You're coming with." She started pulling Ben with her and as she did and brought his mouth closer to her ear.

"You're answering that question later." Shit.

\---

"Rose no!" 

"Yes! He'll love it!" They're currently in a Halloween store looking for Rey's costume. Ben wandered off into the Star Wars costumes while Rose is helping her. Rose is currently holding out a very, very, very slutty looking devil costume.

"But it's so short! A-and so..."

"Rey. Just try it on. I'll make sure you look fine in it." 

"Uh... okay. I guess I can try... maybe..."

"Oh stop worrying. You'll be fine." Rey went into the dressing room and put on the stupid costume. When she looked in the mirror she nearly shrieked. The dress thing barely even covers her butt! And the top is so low cut and see through... Is she supposed to wear something under it? Or is she just supposed to... ugh! She needs Rose.

"Rose!"

"Coming!" Rose came in and nodded.

"Yeah. That's the one. Ben will love it."

"Do- Should I wear something under it or nothing cause like if I don't wear my bra or a tank top he'll see my..."

"That's the point."

"Rose a-are you sure about this?"

"Look if you're really uncomfortable about this then don't do it. But I'm just saying it will make Ben go crazy." It not that Rey is uncomfortable with it... It's just... What if Ben thinks it's weird?

"I'll just got for it." Her decision is made. She's doing this. Rose left to give Rey some privacy and once she was changed they bought the costume. Ben came back to them and tried looking in the bag to see what she got.

"You can't see until tomorrow."

"Ugh why?"

"Because. It's a surprise."

"Fine." When they were done they got Ben's car then headed back to NU to find Toby. She got an email so she stopped and sat down for a second. Rose had to go find Finn so she left, leaving Ben with Rey. Her email was from Unkar Plutt...

_**Dearest Rey,** _

**_I'd like to invite you to one of my parties. It will be tonight at 8. I apologize for such short notice. It is at my house and I'm sure you know where that is. And I ask that you perform a dance for us tonight. I invited Toby also so I'm hoping you both can make it. It would be delightful._ **

**_-Unkar P._ **

Rey's memories from when she lived with Unkar were flashing back. There were some things she still hasn't told Ben. Toby knows about it because Unkar was in charge of the orphanage a lot of the time. But once a lot of people were adopted Unkar just took her alone into his foster home.

<><><>3 years ago<><><>

_Rey was only 17. Her parents recently died and she has been in the orphanage with Toby for at least a month now._ **_(A/N: There is about to be a flashback of something Unkar did with girls so if you don't like that skip the bold lettering. Rey was involved in a lot of it but at a certain point she was able to get out of the situation.)_ **

_**Secretly Unkar would gather all of the girls together and teach them some lessons. Sexual lessons to be specific. Unkar mostly taught them how to give blowjobs and made the boys watch them "practice" on weird objects. It was embarrassing and it made Rey very uncomfortable. Especially since Toby was there. Unkar was preparing them for the "final test". That's what he called it. This so called test was Unkar making all of the girls give him a blowjob. Rey did not want to do this. It was disgusting and not something she ever wanted to do.** _

_**"Rey." That meant it was her turn. She refused though and that was a mistake.** _

_**"No."** _

_**"Rey, I will not ask you again."** _

_**"NO!" She pulled out of his grasp and tears started streaming down her face. He had told her that he wanted to see her after the "lesson". Once this stupid shit was over she went to Unkar's room, as told.** _

_"You are in big trouble. You do not deny my requests!" He slapped her across the face and she quickly tried to run out of the room. He grabbed onto her and threw her against the wall. He beat her for probably about 20 minutes before one of the other girls stopped him. The girls threatened they'd tell someone if he didn't stop. After that, Unkar never bothered her again. Well until he turned into her foster parent. He would beat her every once in a while but she got used to it._

<><><>Present time<><><>

Rey's heart began to beat faster. Going to this party tonight to dance? It made her feel sick... But what happens if she doesn't go...? That's what scared her most. She started breathing heavy. She felt tears sting her eyes and before she could do anything they were spilling out. 

"Rey oh my god what's wrong?!" She ignored Ben and just sobbed. She was crying and breathing so loudly right now and she's sure it's worrying him.

"Go get T-Toby..."

"Rey I'm right here..."

"No! Go get Toby! He'll only understand! I-I need Toby... Please..." She heard Ben's footsteps as he walked away and she felt a little bad. Ben was trying to help but she just yelled at him. After a few minutes Toby came back with Ben and Toby immediately bent down in front of her.

"Rey look at me. Is this about Unkar?" She nodded and he quickly sat next to her and pulled her into a hug. She cried into his chest and held tightly onto him. 

"Rey it's okay... You don't have to go to this... What Unkar did, happened. It's over alright? You're safe. I'm here..." Rey took a bunch of deep breaths and slowly pulled away. She was still crying just a little bit but she was calm enough to function. When she looked at Ben he looked looked very... hurt? Jealous? She couldn't put a name on it... 

"Just think about all the good times... Remember our songs? Our fun camping trips? Our dance performances? Just think about all the good..."

"Okay... Thank you Toby."

"Your welcome."

"Are you going to the party...?"

"I am. I don't want to find out what happens if I don't."

"I'll think about it. If I go though I'm bringing Ben."

"Alright. I need to get to class so I'll see you later. I'm assuming you'd like to go home?"

"I really want to yeah..."

"I'll tell the teacher about your situation. Don't worry about it."

"Thank you." He smiled and walked back to his class. Ben must of interrupted it to get to Toby. 

"Ben... Let's go to your place. I just want to lay down." Ben nodded and didn't say anything before he walked out of the school without her. What's wrong with him?

"Ben what's wrong?"

"Nothing." He got in the car and waited for Rey to get in herself. He started driving and didn't look at her or say a word the whole way home. Did she do something wrong...?

"Ben...?" He got out of the car and started walking back to his apartment without her. She quickly caught up to him and didn't give up.

"Ben. What?" He just kept ignoring her. What the hell!

"Ben!"

"Oh my god what?" He stopped and looked at her.

"What is your deal?!"

"What is my deal?! I'm jealous okay?! I'm really fucking jealous!" He started walking and once they made it to his apartment he slammed the door shut and went to his room.

"Hey we're not done talking!"

"I am!"

"Ben! Seriously! Why are you so jealous?! Ever since you met Toby this morning you've been a complete jerk!" 

"He knows so much more about you! I don't deserve you! He does! The way he looks at you just angers me! He looks at you like you're his fucking dinner!"

"He doesn't look at me like that!"

"Yes he does! I can see it right in front of my face!" He started taking his uniform off as they argued.

"Well why does it matter?! I love  _you_!"

"And you love him too! Admit it!" She didn't answer. Because if she does Ben will take it the wrong way.

"You do. Say it."

"It's not like that though! I love him as a brother! Best friend!" 

"I just wish you'd tell me more. You're always hiding things. Why didn't you tell me everything about Unkar?! You just told me a little bit and said it was everything! Why'd you lie?!" She walked closer to him and looked him in the eyes.

"Ben. I've known Toby nearly my whole life. You've known me for a few months. It will take time... We have our whole lives to get to know each other. There are just some things that I'm not ready to reveal." He slowly nodded.

"Rey... can I at least know about what Unkar did...?" She sighed and nodded.

"I'll actually tell you everything this time." She told Ben about Unkar forcing all of the girls to do things and that she almost had to do it but she luckily got out of it. She told him about Toby and other boys having to watch all of this. She told him how badly Unkar beat her when she refused to submit to Unkar. 

"Now I might have to go to his stupid party tonight and dance. I hope he meant ballet or something. Not what I'm thinking..."

"You don't have to go..."

"He won't ever leave me alone if I don't." Ben stayed silent for a few minutes before finally saying something.

"I... I'm sorry... I didn't know-"

"I know. Don't be sorry."

"But... why didn't you just tell me?"

"Well honestly... I didn't want sympathy. You went through so much worse."

"That's still pretty bad..."

"Well one good thing came out of that."

"What...?"

"I'm really good at blowjobs." She winked and walked out of the room. 


	30. Chapter 30

Ben's POV:

Ben was angry and jealous about a lot of things. Everything was kind of going fine after he had his panic attack until they got to NU. He was a bit off at the store but it got his mind off some things. But as soon as Rey looked at her phone when they sat down she just started freaking out. It startled him a little bit because she was smiling like 3 seconds ago. He tried helping but she yelled at him for Toby and that's when he started feeling jealous again. Also, she never yells at him... 

He got Toby like Rey wanted and Ben just kept getting more and more jealous. Toby understood immediately why she was upset and Ben didn't. This is when he started getting mad. Rey never really tells him about her past and when she does it's not the full truth. Why doesn't she open up? He does... All of the time... And as selfish as it sounds, he wanted to be the one holding and calming her down. Not Toby... 

Toby got Rey calmed down in less than 2 minutes while with Ben it takes him a lot longer than 10. He always has to give Rey anxiety medicine and even after that she's still a bit shaky. Instead of being jealous of this he's just a little sad. He doesn't deserve Rey... Toby and Rey would be perfect together. They've been friends for their whole lives, they understand each other it seems, and they both have a lot in common. It just makes sense to him that Rey would leave him for Toby. Why wouldn't she?

Once Toby was gone and Rey was fine, he just wanted to be alone. Being alone sounds great right now. But Rey was persistent about finding out why he was acting so strange. He told her, more like yelled his emotions, and she yelled back. They've never yelled at each other like this before. It felt like an argument and it probably was. They've had their disagreements and they were small. Like when they can't decide what they want for dinner they'll argue a little bit but it's stupid arguments that turn into laughing. This one didn't end in laughing. 

What happened to Rey when she lived with Unkar was terrible and he wished Rey would of just told him about that. Then he could of helped her instead of Toby... He did understand though that they would have their entire lives to get to know each other. He just isn't very patient... 

When Rey winked and left the room he just stood there. What she said was meant to make things better and probably for him to follow her. He's noticed that Rey does things like that to lighten up the mood and ignore what happened. It just can't work like that every time they argue or have a problem. It may be her way of coping with bad situations but she's going to have to face that issue later again. So Ben just finished changing, shut his door, and laid down. He's supposed to be working but he honestly doesn't care right now. He's drained from today. 

\---

Ben slowly woke up from a nap he apparently took and checked the time. It was 5. Well he's not getting sleep tonight... He sat up and rubbed his eyes, feeling that confused feeling he always gets when he takes naps. He went into the living room and saw that Rey had fallen asleep on the couch watching TV. He turned it off and got something to eat. 

"Ben...?" He looked over at Rey and shut the cabinet. 

"Yeah?"

"Are you still mad at me...?"

"I was never mad at you... I was upset and jealous with Toby." He sighed and sat down next to her. 

"Well are you still mad and jealous?"

"Not really but kinda..."

"I'm sorry..."

"It's okay. Are you going to that party?"

"Yeah. I'm going to the restaurant in a bit to talk to Maz. I'm not working 'till Wednesday but I just need to talk to her in person. What time is it?"

"About 5:15."

"Okay. I'm going to change." He nodded and she got up to change. He just realized she was still in her dance clothes. He also just realized today is her last day here until she goes back to her own apartment. She's healed from her stab wound technically. Rey came back out in sweatpants and a t-shirt and got everything together.

"Will you take me to my apartment so I can get my car?"

"Yeah."

"I'm sure you're tired of driving me everywhere..."

"No it's fine." He got up and grabbed his phone and keys before walking out the door with Rey.

"I'm nervous about this party tonight..."

"You'll be okay. Toby will keep you safe." Ben is positive of that. 

"Actually Ben...? Will you come with? I feel more safe with you..." How? All he's caused was more problems. If it wasn't for Ben then she wouldn't of been stabbed. But if it makes Rey happy and more comfortable...

"Alright." 

\---

Ben held tightly onto Rey's hand as they walked inside Unkar Plutt's house. Rey had gone to Maz's diner and spoke with her about a few things while Ben went back home and showered. When Rey was done she came back over and before 8 Rey drove them both to her old foster parent's home. He could tell she was nervous by the way she tapped her fingers on the steering wheel. She stayed in her "ugly" clothes, that's what she called it, because she didn't want Unkar being creepy. 

"Why is he having a party anyway?"

"I don't know... I want to find out." Right as Rey was about to knock someone opened the door. He was a lot taller than Ben and bald. Ben would be crushed by this guy if they ever fought. He glanced over at Rey and she looked scared instead of nervous now.

"Hello Rey. Come on in." They walked inside and stood in the living room.

"I-is Toby here?"

"Not yet. Who's this?" The man, he assumed Unkar, gestured towards him.

"Oh umm... This is my boyfriend,  Ben."

"Pfft. Boyfriend." Rey's hold on his hand got tighter and he was even nervous. This guy was allowed to be a foster parent...?

"Yep..."

"I'm surprised."

"Uh y-yeah I guess it's a little... shocking. Especially when I'm with someone like Ben." Usually Rey stands up for herself and gets pretty feisty. This time she was hesitant with what she said. He's never seen her scared of someone before... She even flinched when Unkar walked away to get the door when someone knocked. He was a little shocked to see Poe...  Poe walked up to Rey and that's when Rey pulled out of Ben's grasp.

"Of course you're here. Why the fuck are you here?" There's the Rey he knows.

"Unkar invited me sheesh. I didn't know you'd be here."

"Well I am."

"Why are you mad?"

"Because you apologized when I got home from the hospital then kissed me! Also you got real creepy when I brought you home from the bar that one time."

"Oh right. The bar... Haha sorry about that." Rey groaned and leaned against the closest wall.

"Look Rey I'm- Toby!?" He looked over towards the door and Toby was walking towards them. Poe got completely distracted and smiled as he greeted Toby.

"Hey Poe. Long time no see."

"Dude I've missed ya."

"Missed you too. How's Finn?"

"Umm... Great!" Poe's face said otherwise.

"Good. Hi Rey." Rey waved and smiled. Don't get jealous... Don't get jealous... Rey hugged Toby and he ran his hands over her back. Annnnd he's jealous. Damn it. When they pulled apart Toby kept his arm on her back as they talked to Poe. Get your fucking hands off her... Calm down Ben. Calm the fuck down! Unkar came back into the area and once he did he had everyone sit down. Some more people came that Ben didn't know but Rey did and it didn't really seem like a party. More like a gathering of the kids he knew... Ew... More people came after that and Rey didn't know them so they had to be Unkar's friends.

"Rey I'd like to speak to you for a moment in the kitchen." Unkar put his hand on her shoulder and she slowly nodded. He saw her hands shaking as she stood up and made her way into the kitchen with Unkar. Toby scooted closer to Ben and got his attention.

"So... You're Rey's boyfriend huh..."

"Yeah."

"Look. You seem great. And you're a cop and everything so I don't have to worry about her getting into trouble or someone harming her. But if you hurt her in anyway, I will find you and hurt you." Ben tried not to laugh because that didn't intimidate him at all. He'd never hurt Rey. Never.

"I would never hurt her."

"You better keep that promise."

"I plan on it."

"I do admit though Ben... I am pretty envious of you."

"What could you possibly be envious about?" Certainly not his looks...

"Rey. You got the girl I've wanted for a very long time." Ben knew it. He just fucking knew that Toby wanted Rey.

"Well don't be jealous for too long. I'm sure she'll leave me for you." He tried to lighten the mood a bit but Toby just fired back.

"I'm pretty sure too." Ben clenched his fists and looked down at the floor.

"I helped Rey through that panic today pretty well. Have you ever helped her through any of them?" He knew Toby was trying to make him jealous.

"Yes. A lot."

"When's the fastest you've ever gotten her to feel better?"

"I don't know, 5 minutes?"

"See? I'm able to comfort her and get her feeling better quickly. I know my best friend very well."

"Do you think I don't know that? 'Cause I do."

"I'm just saying. It will just be a matter of time before she leaves you and comes to me. I'd start preparing myself if I were you." She won't actually leave him will she? No. They've talked about their future together. They're going to take care of Maya. Ooh... Wait...

"I don't think I have to worry Toby. Rey and I already technically adopted a child." Toby gave him a weird look.

"What...?"

"I assume you knew Tiffany? Rey's friend?"

"Yes..."

"Well Rey adopted Maya. And since Rey wasn't exactly ready for that she's living with my mother. So when Rey and I are ready, we'll take Maya to live with us."

"Well that's nice." Ben's jealousy is making him to stupid things... Rey came back and grabbed her things quickly.

"Ben lets go." He won't protest against that. He knew Rey was uncomfortable the second they got here.

"Okay sweetheart." Toby got up and tried to see what was wrong.

"Rey are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Come on Ben." Toby was resting his hand on her shoulder and she pulled away and grabbed onto Ben's hand. He tried so, so, so hard not to look back at Toby and smirk. Toby apparently followed them outside.

"Rey you can't leave..." She let go of his hand and turned around.

"Yes I can."

"Well why are you? Just stay..."

"Unkar asked me to do something that I won't do."

"Dance? Big deal."

"Yeah it's a big deal. It's not the dancing we're thinking." Ben wanted to go beat up Unkar Plutt and throw him jail. But if he even tried Ben would be dying a lot sooner than expected...

"What kind of dance...?"

"Strip dance you idiot. I'm not doing that. And if I stay I'm going to be pressured into it."

"I mean would it really be that bad...?" Rey glared at him and Ben could feel the anger radiating off of her...

"The only person I'll ever do that for is Ben. Goodbye Toby." Ben nearly chocked on air and he never saw Toby's reaction because Rey pulled him to the car too fast.

Rey's POV:

Rey had gone to Maz to discuss her work schedule and to see how Maz was doing. She has been very kind about the break Rey took and she's grateful for that. She said Rey could get back into her normal shifts on Wednesday and take any day off she needs to. That won't happen much because she needs to pay her bills.

Once they got to Unkar's she was extremely nervous. She's terrified of Unkar Plutt. It's when she's most vulnerable. And she hates that. She was surprised to see Poe here but then again why is that surprising? Ben was acting fine and a lot better since their talk until Toby was here. She does feels bad though. She knows what jealousy feels like and she knows how badly Ben thinks of himself. Toby isn't helping Ben at all. It's making him more insecure and he's worrying about things he shouldn't worry about. Toby isn't even intentionally doing this. The jealousy is going to eat Ben alive if he can't get that under control.

"Rey I'd like to speak to you for a moment in the kitchen." Unkar startled her but she tried not to show that. Once she got into the kitchen her heart was hammering in her chest.

"So... You're dancing tonight correct?"

"That depends on what kind of dancing."

"I'm sure you know."

"Ballet?" She tried to act like she didn't know.

"You're so naive."

"I'm aware."

"Don't get lippy with me."

"I'm an adult. I do as I please." He grabbed onto her shirt and pushed her up against the wall. She did what she knew would scare him.

"My boyfriend is a cop you know... Touch me and you'll be in jail before tomorrow morning." Unkar growled and let her go.

"How does he like you anyway?"

"I ask that question all of the time."

"You're distracting me girl. Are you dancing or not?"

"I said it depends."

"Strip dance. For me and my friends mostly. Maybe your stupid boyfriend would enjoy it." He would but not if he knew she didn't want to do it. Ben would make her stop. Ben would only enjoy it if it were her decision. And she's glad about that. That's an idea for tomorrow... Hmm... Stop getting distracted.

"I'm not doing that."

"Imagine how happy you're boyfriend would be."

"Not very happy that's for sure."

"And why is that?"

"I don't have to answer you." She isn't as scared as she was. Unkar can't hurt her. He's too scared of being arrested. Ben would do more than arrest too. Ben would crush him in a heartbeat.

"Just do it Rey. And I'll leave you alone for the rest of your life." Tempting but no.

"Excuse me for a moment." More like goodbye I'm leaving. She rushed out of the room and got Ben. He was easy to get out of the house but Toby made it difficult to leave. He was pissing her off. She does what she wants. Ben may think Toby is perfect but there are many flaws to him. Toby saying that dancing wouldn't be that bad made her very angry. She could tell he wouldn't mind seeing her do that. She just had to leave before something bad happened. Like her punching a certain someone in the face. Once her and Ben were in the car she started driving back to Ben's place.

"R-Rey...?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you something...? Or are you not in the... mood?"

"No it's fine. Go ahead."

"I-I know we kinda talked about this but would you leave me... for someone else...? Like Toby?" Ben sounded so nervous...

"No. Never. The only time I would ever leave you is if you cheated on me. Which I doubt will happen."

"Haha yeah... About that..."

"What?! You-"

"I'm kidding."

"You just gave me a heart attack!"

"Sorry..."

"Wait. Why are you asking me this...?"

"Toby and I talked a little bit..."

"What'd he say?"

"So... He said he'd hurt me if I hurt you. You know, the usual stuff a dad does to his daughter's boyfriend. Except he isn't your dad... Uh anyways he said he was jealous of me. Well envious but-"

"Stop being nervous. Just cut to the chase."

"Okay, okay. He said he was jealous because I'm your boyfriend and that I got the girl he's wanted for a really long time..."

"Stop joking around."

"I'm not!" If Toby liked her than why did he reject her when they were young?

"Okay... What else did Toby say...?"

"So because of the awkward person I am, I said something about you leaving me for him to make the conversation not so awkward. But he just said he thought so too... I'm just feeling really... I don't know..."

"Ben. I'm not going to leave you for Toby. Okay? I need you to understand that."

"Okay... Well you have to atleast admit that he's way hotter than me." She snorted and shook her head.

"Haha funny joke."

"Seriously!"

"Really? You're way hotter than him!"

"No I'm not."

"Uh hello? Do I need to buy you a mirror? When is your birthday?"

"November 19th... Why?"

"I'm buying you a mirror for your birthday."

"Rey-"

"You're a fucking hot mess Ben."

"Thanks?"

"Ugh Ben! Do I need to make a list?"

"I bet it wouldn't be very long..." She wants to slap some sense into this guy.

"For starters, you're fucking hair! Look at that! How the hell do you keep it looking so good? Even when it's messy damn! In fact it just makes you look sexier."

"Sexier? I'm not sexy in the first place." She groaned really loud and since they were at a red light she put her head against the  steering wheel.

"The light is green..." She started driving again and continued her list.

"Enough about your hair. Your body, holy shit. You're not too muscular but you got just enough muscles to make you look fucking hot. Your ears are so cute and you need to stop hiding them. I love your eyes, your nose, oh and those lips. Mmm..." Ben put his hands over his face and she smiled.

"This is a weird one but your hands make you hotter."

"How the fuck-"

"They just suit you. And your gentle with them but also-"

"Stop what your saying. It sounds very sexual."

"Perv..."

"I wasn't trying to be..." She needs to be careful with what she says. She'll say something as a joke but because of Snoke he just gets worried he said something wrong or creepy.

"It was a joke. Anyway-"

"Okay I get it. I'm..."

"Just say it."

"I'm hot. Fine. Happy?"

"Very." They got to Ben's house and she decided she should go home. She needs to clean everything up and get used to sleeping alone again. She went inside and got all of her stuff together. Ben helped her bring them out to her car.

"Thank you Ben. For taking care of me and taking me to Chandrila. For everything really..."

"You're welcome."

"So... Tomorrow is Halloween."

"Yep."

"Are you working? I don't have dance tomorrow."

"I thought I wasn't but my boss wants me to. It will just be until 5."

"That will work. Come over when you're done working. Maybe change first."

"Will you be wearing your a Halloween costume?"

"Yeah..."

"I'm excited to see it." Oh you have no idea what you'll see Ben...

\---

It's the next day and Rey decided to get some cleaning and shopping done. She got most of her apartment clean but she still has a few things to do. And she needs groceries. Bad. She threw on a black romper and went to the store. It's always warm in Naboo. She got what she needed and started driving back home. She was fine until she saw the flashing lights of a cop car.

"Shit..."

She wasn't driving over the speed limit... She has her seat belt on... Whatever. Rey pulled over and waited for the stupid cop. That stupid cop turned out to be Ben. She instantly smiled and felt relief wash over her. She rolled down her window and kept smiling.

"Hello sir. Did I do something wrong?"

"I believe you did." He smirked and bent down to her level.

"License and registration."

"Oh I apologize sir. I don't have that."

"Well I'll have to ask you to step out of the vehicle please." She thought this was funny. She got out of the car and giggled. Ben smiled and pulled her against him before kissing her.

"Sorry I had to do this. I wanted to give you a little scare since it's Halloween."

"How'd you know it was me?"

"I know what your car looks like and I could see the back of your head. Your three buns give you away. No one does that." She smiled.

"How's work?"

"So far so good."

"That's good. I'll see you tonight?"

"Mhm."

"Okay. Love you Ben."

"Love you Rey." They pulled apart and got back into their cars. Rey is still very nervous for tonight... When she got home she texted Rose.

**Rey: Rose are you sure about the costume????**

**Rose: Not this again... Yes I'm positive!**

**Rey: I'm sorry I'm just nervous.**

**Rose: Just breathe... Of course you're going to be nervous about this.**

Right. Yeah...

\---

It was 10 minutes after Ben's work shift and he is going to be here any minute. She put the stupid costume on and put her hair down. Fuck she's really doing this... Oh god. Last night she had given Ben her spare key to her apartment and he gave her his. Not a big deal but it is to her. She got a text.

**Ben: I'm almost there.**

**Rey: Okay. You can use your key.**

**Ben: :)**

Ugh that smiley face... Her heart was beating so fast holy shit. She's gonna die. Literally if she can't fucking calm down. She paced her living room and kept looking out her window. She looked one last time and saw him coming towards her door. Shit. Shit, shit, shit. There's no going back. She heard him unlock the door and he came in then shut it. Once he turned around and looked at her his face was priceless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Haha.... Cliffhanger. Kinda ;)**


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is full of smut and angst so for those of you that hate that... sorry

Ben's POV:

Ben's Halloween was going okay. Not the most exciting but he has something to look forward to at the end of the day. Rey is his motivation to get done with work for the day. He saw her once and it wasn't planned. It was brief but hey at least he got to see her. The day couldn't go any slower. Once he looked at the time and saw that it was the end of his shift, he got to his car as fast as he could. Ben didn't bother going home and changing out of his uniform because he just wanted to be with Rey. He'll just be a cop for Halloween, whatever. And he was expecting Rey to be some fairy or superhero. Something like that. But no... He walked into her apartment to something completely different... **(A/N: It gets real mature in here. Be prepared for the smutty smut)**

**He was completely speechless. He didn't expect Rey to wear something like... that. Is it wrong that he wanted to bend her over and fuck her senseless right now? Probably not... It is probably her motive... So Ben went with what he wanted and walked straight to her, dropping everything he had in his hands. She gasped when he grabbed onto her hips and slammed his lips against hers. As they kissed he felt Rey pushing him and soon his back met with the wall. She pulled her lips away just enough so that she could talk.**

**"Too much?"**

**"No... I like it... This-you... it's hot..."**

**"Stuttering much?"**

**"Can you blame me?" He swallowed when she put her hand by the waist of his pants.**

**"I see you decided not to change?" She smirked and he just stood there staring at her. She's never been this dominate before...**

**"Mhm..."**

**"Don't cops punish bad people...?"**

**"Uh... y-yeah..." He wasn't sure where she was trailing her hand to but he wasn't really thinking about that right now.**

**"I'm pretty bad... I am dressed as a devil after all..."**

**"You don't seem like the devil type."**

**"You'd be surprised." Suddenly he knew where Rey's hand was. She had placed her hand over where his handcuffs are placed on his belt.**

**"No." He shook his head, knowing what she was thinking. Handcuffing her is not a good idea... He doesn't want to trap her into a situation. But that look she's giving him... holy shit... Ben turned his head to the side for a few seconds then looked back at her, sighing. No matter how hard Ben tried he couldn't hold back. His hands were still gripping onto her hips so he quickly turned her around, making it so she was facing away from him, and pushed her up against the wall he was leaning on. He put his mouth by her ear while he took his handcuffs off of his belt.**

**"You're gonna regret this..."**

**"I don't think so..." He knew she was still smirking. He made sure to set the key on the counter right next to them. That gave him a thought... Ben pulled her hands behind her back and handcuffed her hands as loose as he could. She'd be able to take them off if she really, really wanted to. He shoved her towards the counter and bent her over it. Rey whimpered and tried grabbing onto Ben's shirt.**

**"Dream finally coming true Ben?" He growled when she pressed her ass against his groin.**

**"I imagined it being my counter but we can do that later..." He lifted the bottom of her costume and groaned at the realization that she wasn't wearing anything under it.**

**"Who's idea was this?"**

**"Rose's..."**

**"Hmm... You should listen to her more often." Ben hurriedly untucked his shirt from his pants and got rid of his belt.**

**"Ben you're so slow..." He chuckled and unzipped his pants before pulling them down.**

**"Maybe I should make you beg..."**

**"God no..."**

**"I'm not god."**

**"Shit please Ben..." He lined himself up with her and she whimpered.**

**"Please..."** **He was trying not to laugh at how frustrated Rey was getting. He gave her mercy and thrust into her without warning. Her hands clenched from trying to get a hold of something and she moaned loudly. He cursed at the feeling and put his hand on the middle of her back with the other on her waist. He thrust into her again and she finally got a grip on his shirt. He started at a slow pace and he knew it wouldn't be enough for Rey so he did it faster.**

**"Ben I'm going to fall..."**

**"I got you..." Not being able to use your hands must suck. She screamed his name when she came and he groaned in response. Ben came inside her not long after and pulled out while Rey was catching her breath. He took off the handcuffs and she immediately grabbed onto the counter.**

**\---**

**Her and Ben ended up in Rey's bed after their recent activities in the kitchen. They've gotten in bed and relaxed for a little bit. But Rey doesn't seem to be done... She sat up and looked down at him with a smirk.**

**"What...?"**

**"I won that game in Chandrila. And I never got to do what I wanted to do." Ben laughed and closed his eyes.**

**"As long as you're okay with it..."**

**"I am." Ben opened his eyes again when Rey got off the bed and left the room. What is she doing? His question was answered when she came back with the handcuffs...**

**"I think it's your turn now." Oh god...**

**"Sit up and lean against the headboard." Her headboard has a bar type design thing. He did as told and she got out his second pair of handcuffs. He rarely uses them for the actual reason they're made for and now he will never be able to get the thought out of his head... She handcuffed both hands to the headboard and kept that evil smirk on her face the entire time. He does admit that he's nervous. And he feels very restrained. He can't use his hands and it's annoying...**

**"Are you sure this doesn't bother you Ben?"**

**"It only would if you-"**

**"Don't think about me. Will it bother you? Because of your past experiences?"**

**"No. I've gotten over it..."**

**"Are you sure?"**

**"Yes." He really has. He's just worried about Rey. She nodded and unbuttoned his shirt as she crawled down his body. Fuck he is never going to be able to get this out of his head... Once she got to his pants she unzipped them and pulled them down. She was also doing this very slowly. Now he knows how she felt earlier... He is going to go crazy...**

**"You made me beg... Now you have to." He groaned and threw his head back.**

**"Ugh... please..."**

**"Please what?"**

**"Rey..." He wants to move his fucking hands! He kept groaning and finally Rey put her mouth on his dick. He moaned at the feeling and the sight. Fuck this going to be burned into his brain...**

Rey's POV: 

Rey didn't exactly have a plan for when Ben was supposed to come over. And luckily Ben finally stopped worrying about hurting Rey for 5 seconds and did what he wanted... She hasn't really ever been this confident before and she's proud of herself for stepping out of her comfort zone. Her and Ben spent hours doing so called "gross" things and by the time it was 9 pm they're were exhausted. They both laid naked on her bed in the dark in complete silence. Which silence is good sometimes... It was light enough to see earlier but now it's dark outside. Rey laid against Ben's chest while he traced her skin with his fingers. 

"Have you stopped cutting...?" The sudden question startled her but not too much. Rey sat up and turned on the lamp beside her bed before laying back down. 

"Yeah. I have no reason to continue it. I'm really happy..."

"C-Can I look at all of them...?"

"I don't see why not..." They both sat up and she hoped the lamp light was enough to see good. She had scars from cutting on her inner thighs, stomach, and arms. She is very ashamed of it no matter how hard she tries not to be. Ben lightly ran his fingers over the scars on her thighs and he looked very sad. 

"W-When did you start... doing this...?" Ben moved to the scars on her stomach and she tried to remember the answer to Ben's question. **(A/N: There is a brief explanation as to when and why Rey cut herself. If that is triggering don't read bold lettering.)**

**"I started doing this when my parents died... It was my lowest point. I became an orphan, I had to deal with Unkar, I lost Toby... It was all just too hard for me to fathom."**

**"Why did you do this to yourself?"**

**"It was really the only way to express my emotions... I had no one... I was alone... I kept everything on the inside... I didn't know how to show my feelings... Cutting was... the only way I feel like. I deserved the pain..." Ben looked up at her in the eyes and she could see tears in his eyes. She let some of her own tears fall down her face.**

"I'm so ashamed of it... It makes me feel and look so fucking pathetic... I didn't know how to deal with the hurting and pain..." She was sobbing by now and Ben gently rubbed his hand up and down her arm. 

"Don't be ashamed... It made you who you are..." She knew that... But it's the weak part of her. 

"Baby... I love you. So fucking much. You're not alone anymore..."

"I know that now... I love you too." Ben wrapped his arms around her and laid back down, pulling her with him. Even the smell of Ben and his warmth was comforting enough to get her to sleep. So she focused on that... 


	32. Chapter 32

Rey's POV:

Rey slowly woke up in the tight embrace of Ben's arms and she panicked when she saw the time. She was going to be really late for class if she isn't ready in the next 5 minutes... How did she sleep through her alarm? Shit! She shoved Ben's arms off of her and pushed him away so she could get up. Rey didn't have time to be sweet about it. She rushed to her dresser and started throwing on her dance clothes.

"That was mean..." Ben said jokingly and it startled her. She looked back at Ben and he was barely awake. 

"Sorry. I'm going to be late." She nearly tripped over herself as she yanked on her tights. She heard Ben laughing but she doesn't have time to do anything about it. Once she was dressed she put her hair in the messiest bun ever. Oh well. There isn't time to fix it. Instead of putting her Pointe shoes on at the school and taking her sweet time, she is going to quickly put them on here. She ran out of the room and grabbed her dance bag before sitting on the couch and putting her Pointe shoes on. Rey looked at the clock and she had about 10 minutes before she had to leave. She could of taken more time to get ready but she also has to eat something. Ben slowly dragged himself into her living room with his sweatpants on and messy hair. He's distracting her... He yawned and rubbed his eyes as he sat down on the floor in front of her. 

"How the hell do you tie those string things...?"

"Ribbons?" She laughed at what he called them.

"Yeah..."

"Like this." She showed him how she ties her Pointe shoe ribbons and he watched with furrowed eyebrows. 

"Show me that again?"

"Why?" She continued with the other shoe. 

"'Cause then if you're ever in a hurry, I can put your shoes on for you while you do whatever girl things you do to get ready." She smiled and the thought of Ben tying her Pointe shoes was a bit funny to her. His hands are so big. Would he even be able to? Well of course but it'd be difficult. Plus, he'd never remember how... 

"I'll show you one more time then you can try." Once she showed him again she untied all of her ribbons so Ben could try. She forgot about time but she'll be fine. She'll survive without breakfast. Ben attempted tying the ribbons and he did better than she thought. 

"You have to do that the other way." She showed him the right way to wrap the ribbon around her ankle and he tried again. This time he successfully did it and she was very surprised.

"How did you pick up on that so quickly?"

"I'm a fast learner? I don't know..." 

"Well if your a fast learner... learn the time." He rolled his eyes and looked at the clock. His eyes widened and he got up quickly.

"Now I'm going to be late. Shit I thought you were just over exaggerating!"

"Well I wasn't... I never exaggerate things."

"Umm... sometimes..."

"No I don't! Name one time." She smirked and Ben suddenly started acting girly. Standing with a knee bent with his weight on one leg, hands on his hips, and he batted his eyelashes. 

"Oh my gosh Ben I'm starving! And oh! I'm going to die if we don't get out of this heat!" Rey gasped and tried not to laugh at his imitation of her British accent and tone of her voice. 

"I don't sound like that!" He laughed a little.

"Ha. Funny joke." She glared at him and he smirked. 

"I'm just teasing you Rey... Come here..." He pulled her against him and hugged her.

"I'm gonna be late bun..."

"Oh now I'm bun again?"

"Mhm..." 

_3 days later_

Today was the day of her Nutcracker tryouts. And Rey was extremely nervous. It also doesn't help that she is feeling really sick. She thinks it's just a virus going around. Ben really wanted to watch her tryout but they don't let people in so he is waiting outside the doors for her. She is very grateful for the support. 

Rey re-adjusted her tryout number and waited patiently for her turn. She's done Nutcracker before but it's been a while... Ben had told her that she will do amazing and she hopes that's true... Her number was called and she walked onto the stage in the most graceful way she could. She did the dance moves she was told to do and did her best. Her turns weren't the greatest but she still got them. At the end of her tryout she thanked them and hurried back out into the lobby to find Ben. She doesn't find out if she got in and what part until tomorrow. It will be listed on the walls in NU.

Rey was a little disappointed in herself but she did her best. And that's pretty good. Especially since she's sick. She threw up last night and she hopes she doesn't throw up today. Once she walked out the doors she was attacked by Ben, Rose, and Finn. They all wrapped their around around her and she groaned.

"Guys... I can't breathe..." She didn't know Rose and Finn were here. They pulled away and she smiled.

"Why are you guys so excited?" Rose answered for everyone.

"Because you're trying out for a ballet where thousands of people will attend! I'm 100% positive you get one of the lead roles." Rey looked at Finn.

"And why are you here?"

"Support for my homie!"

"Don't ever say that again..." They both laughed and she heard Ben cough to get her attention.

"You're forgetting someone..."

"No I'm not. Hi Ben." She hugged him and he pulled her tighter against him.

"I know you did amazing. I'm proud of you. You did it even when you're sick." She pulled away and smiled. Ben went to kiss her but she put her hand of his face.

"Hey!"

"No kisses. I don't want to get you sick."

"I'm willing to get sick for you." Rose squealed and Rey turned around.

"That was the cutest thing ever!" Everyone rolled their eyes. They all decided to go get lunch and as they walked out Rose walked alone with Rey.

"So Rey... How did Halloween go with Ben?" Rose has been gone because she went on vacation. So Rey hasn't told Rose about it yet.

"Really good."

"See?! I told you he would love it!" Ben looked back at them with a smirk on his face.

"Shhh!" Rose laughed and Ben walked back next to Rey, putting his arm over her shoulder. Rose smirked.

"I'll leave you two alone." She caught up with Finn and Ben looked down at Rey while they walked.

"You're so cute." She blushed because she knew he said that in response to her awkwardness towards the costume. Finn and Rose walked out the door and they almost made it too but Ben gently pulled her into a hall and backed her up against the wall. He cupped her face with his hands and kissed her lips with fervor. She is going to get him sick but right now she doesn't care. It will be Ben's fault anyway.

\---

They went to lunch and Rey didn't have dance today because of tryouts so she went straight to work. Getting back into the routine of things is nice. Ben had work too so he is wherever he's  supposed to be. After a few hours of taking orders and cleaning tables she saw Ben come him. Which is weird because he never comes in this late... He usually comes in at about 5 but he's here at 7. Maybe he just got off work late.

"Hey Ben."

"Oh hi." He didn't sit down in his usual seat either.

"Do you want the usual?"

"No. I want some black coffee." What is it with Ben?

"Okay... I'll be back." She went and got his coffee then brought it back to him. Why is he acting so strange? She sat down in front of him and smiled anyway. Maybe he just had a bad day.

"How was work?"

"Uh good." He stayed quiet and she was very confused. He always talks and asks her questions. Something seems off.

"I get off work in 30 minutes. So you can wait and we can go do something or you can go."

"I'll wait."

"K." Rey finished up her shift and got changed before going back out to Ben. Something was different... She just barely noticed he wasn't wearing his uniform...

"Ready to go?"

"Yep." They left the restaurant and when Ben put his arm over her shoulder, something didn't seem right. He wasn't in his uniform, he didn't sit in his usual seat, he didn't get his usual meal, he didn't talk to her like he always does, he came later, and something else but she can't figure out what. She looked up at him and noticed a scar... Did he- wait. Kylo... But that's not possible... He's in jail... But it makes sense...

She started breathing heavy. Is this Ben tricking her again? Is this actually Kylo? Not knowing the answer is scaring the shit out of her. He pulled her down that alley and that's when she got even more worried. He took his arm off and she walked a little bit more before stopping.

"Kylo...?" She didn't want to turn around and face whoever this was.

"I'm surprised you're just now figuring it out." No. This can't be Kylo. Rey turned around and walked closer to him.

"Stop messing around Ben. This isn't funny. You said you wouldn't do this again."

"You know I'm not Ben." Rey didn't want to accept it.

"H-How are you out?"

"Of jail? Easy. Leia bailed me out. Very sweet of her."

"You're lying."

"I have no reason to lie."

"Is she here...?"

"No."

"Then how-"

"I'm done answering your questions."

"Why are you here?! What do you want?!" He pinned her against the wall in the alley and she started to panic. Fucking go away! Where is Ben? He doesn't come everyday but she's worried.

"Are you angry because Ben put you in jail?! Are you angry because Ben found out what you did to Tiffany?! Are you mad because Ben will never let you see your child again?!!" Kylo looked at her angrily and suddenly she was slapped across the face.

"Yes I am angry! Ben gets whatever the hell he wants!" He grabbed onto her arms and yanked her closer to him.

"You know I knew you right? When I was with Tiffany. Every time I was with her she'd talk about you. All the time. I never met you but I've seen you. With her, or around her. And it's crazy to say that I wanted you." Rey was trying to process this. She had Kylo around her... Oh god...

"But then I come here because Snoke told me to. And I didn't expect to see you with Ben. He got you. The one I wanted."

"What are you talking about?! No one ever wanted me until I met Ben!"

"What about Toby? And Poe? And me?"

"How-"

"You're so fucking naive Rey. You think no one wanted you when in reality every guy you know wants you. You never looked at what was around you."

"It's a shame though Kylo. You'll never have me." Kylo seethed and she tried pulling out his grasp before he could hit her again.  **(A/N it gets a little violent here so I warn you)**

Kylo punched her and pushed her on the ground. She tried taking deep breaths to relieve the pain but she was kicked in the stomach. She couldn't breathe now... He pulled her back up and slammed her against the wall, holding her there.

"If you want me so bad then why are you doing this?!"

"You're pissing me off. And this will piss Ben off."

"What are you gonna do? Rape me like you did Tiffany? Get me pregnant and get another baby taken away from you?" He went to punch her again but she luckily dodged it and got out away from him. She thinks he punched the brick wall because he groaned. She wasn't sure because she was running away from him. She turned down another road and was stopped by a dead end. Shit...

Rey turned around and saw that Kylo had followed her. He went after her and she tried punching him but be he caught her wrist and practically threw her against the wall. She was trying so hard not to cry from the pain. Looking weak isn't an option right now. He grabbed onto her and held her against the wall.

"Stop... Why are you doing this?"

"Because I'm angry with you. And this will put Ben in so much pain."

"You're gonna stab me too?!"

"No. I don't want you dead. But I will hurt you and you won't tell Ben it was me."

"I'll tell him what I want!" He put his hand on her neck, threatening to choke her.

"You tell him and I'll hurt him more than I'll hurt you." Rey swallowed back everything she wanted to scream at him. Rey was able to knee him in the stomach but that only made him angrier. He punched her again and again and it got so much that she just let herself drop to the ground. He wouldn't stop... Punching and kicking, punching and kicking... Make it stop... He did eventually and left her gasping for air on the ground. She isn't telling Ben about this. He'll freak out and she's sure Kylo would find out.

Rey slowly got up, wincing at every movement. Her whole body hurts. Nothing feels broken but she's in a lot of pain. She managed to get to her car and once she got in she started sobbing.

Ben's POV:

Today was a good day. And so we're the past few days. When he had tried to tie Rey's pointe shoes he understood it pretty well. He found it interesting. Then today he was so excited that Rey tried out for Nutcracker. But Ben was also a little worried because she was throwing up last night. She came over after her shift then threw up after a little bit. It's probably just the stomach flu or something she ate.

After her tryout he was so proud of her and he didn't even watch her. It takes guts to get up in front of however many judges there were. Lunch went pretty well then he was at work once again. And work was more exciting than usual. They're dealing with someone that isn't paying their bills and instead of being a civilized person, they tried fighting the cop that went to the person's house. So that's fun. This also means he has to work late. Ben called Rey to tell her about that but she never answered. She's probably busy...

"Solo! Let's go!" Ben grabbed his gun and put it on his belt before leaving his office. He's never needed to use his gun- well Snoke doesn't count. His gun is a precaution for even the most safe situations. He tried calling Rey again on his way out the door but she didn't answer again. He left a few texts then put his phone away.

"Focus and stop worrying about your girlfriend."

"Sorry." Ben got in the car with his boss and kind of partner. Rey's fine. She's just fine. Stop worrying.

\---

Ben didn't get off work until 10 pm so he went straight home. Once he got inside he tried calling Rey again. She always answers her phone... So why isn't she answering? He decided to call Rose. 

"Hello?"

"Hey... Do you happen to know what Rey is up to? She isn't answering her phone..."

"I don't... Hey Finn! Do you know what Rey is doing right now?" Ben heard talking between the two then a sigh.

"We don't know. She isn't answering Finn's texts either." Rey's phone has to be dead or something.

"Thanks Rose. Let me know what happens when you see her tomorrow."

"Alright. Bye Ben." He hung up and sighed. Oh well... He'll try calling her in the morning before work.

The next morning he called her again and she didn't answer. Is she mad at him? She couldn't be... She isn't answering Finn either... Ben was starting to get concerned. If her phone was dead she would of charged it by now. She would of texted or called him back. If she left her phone somewhere someone probably would of answered it. Ben anxiously got ready and headed to the police station. Hopefully Rey answers him...

\---

He's on his lunch break and he still hasn't gotten a response from Rey. He is slowly getting more and more worried. His phone started ringing and he instantly answered not even looking at who was calling him.

"Hello?"

"Hi." Oh. It's Rose... Well that's still great.

"Ben I don't wanna worry you but Rey never came to class today..." He gripped his desk and tried to keep himself calmed down.

"Did she stay home sick?" His sounded just as worried as he felt.

"I'm not sure... I'm really worried..."

"I'm going to her apartment."

"Let me know what happens."

"Will do." He hung up and hurried out to his car. He really hopes Rey is okay... Is she hurt? Did she get in a car accident? Did she get kidnapped? He is thinking the worst... Once he got to Rey's place he hurried to her door and frantically knocked on her door.

"Rey?!" She wasn't answering. Fuck... Is she okay? Ben remembered that he has a key so he got it out and unlocked her door. When he walked inside he saw her keys and phone sitting on her kitchen table.

"Rey?!" He walked into her room and she was laying in her bed.

"Rey?"

"What...?"

"What the hell?! Why aren't you  answering your phone?! Your door?!" She flinched but didn't move.

"I don't feel good..."

"Rey. You had me worried all night long and most of the day today! I thought something bad happened to you! I already nearly lost you once! And when you don't bother to send me a text back I don't think you're safe!" She sniffled and sat up. Her room was too dark to see her face but he didn't bother with the light.

"I'm sorry... I didn't feel good enough..." He sighed loudly and sat down next to her.

"Still feeling sick?"

"You could say that..." Ben furrowed his eyebrows and looked closely at Rey's face. Something looks weird... He got up and turned the light on and she quickly hid under her blanket.

"What? Does the light bother you?"  He tried moving the blanket but she slapped his hand away.

"Seriously what?" He finally got the blanket off her and he nearly gasped at what he saw. She has bruises all over her face and dry blood on her lips.

"What the fuck happened?!" Rey got up and walked out of the room. More like limped.

"Rey!" He stormed after her and grabbed onto her arm. She winced and tried pulling away.

"Let go." He did.

"Sorry..." She walked into the kitchen and got a glass of water.

"Rey what happened?! Is this why you didn't answer your phone?!"

"Nothing happened."

"Don't lie! I can clearly see something happened!"

"Stop raising your voice." He groaned and ran his hands through his hair.

"I'm not gonna ask again. What. Happened?" She stayed silent and looked at the floor.

"Please Rey... I want to help you..."

"I-I got off work last night and... some guy followed me down the alley behind the restaurant and attacked me." Instead of being worried he's angry now.

"Who did this?!"

"I can't tell you."

"You know who did this to you?!"

"Yes."

"Rey who the fuck did this?! You have to tell me! I swear to god I'll fucking kill this guy!"

"I can't tell you!"

"Why?! Why did this guy do this?! Why can't you tell me?!"

"I can't answer any of those questions..." He let out a few frustrated tears and gently placed his hands on her face.

"Rey please... Please..."

"It's for your protection." Ben turned around and paced the room. Why can't she fucking tell him?

"D-Did he... do anything else...?"

"No. I promise." He nodded and faced Rey again. He won't push it. He's just wasting his time by asking who did it over and over again. He ran his fingers over the bruises on her face and she looked down.

"Oh my god... What did he do...?" Who would do this? Why? Rey gently pushed him away started taking her shirt off. More and more bruises were revealed as she lifted her shirt up. She set her shirt beside her and pulled down the waist of her leggings to show bruises on her hips.

"Rey please... Tell me who did this..."

"No..."

"Rey-" His phone ringed and he sighed as he answered it. It was his boss.

"Hello?"

"Hey Solo. I just wanted to let you know that your mother bailed your brother out of jail." Just fucking fantastic.

"How did she do that? He has so many charges against him."

"Most of them don't have enough proof. Also, Leia paid a lot of money to get him out."

"When did you release him?"

"Last night."

"Well thanks for letting me know. I'm going to be a little late... I'm dealing with something right now."

"Alright." He hung up and slammed his phone on the table.

"What...?"

"Kylo was let out of fucking jail last night. Leia-" Wait. He froze and looked back at Rey. She was biting her lip which means she's nervous. That fucking bastard did this to her...

"Did Kylo do this?!" She didn't answer.

"Fucking answer me!"

"Yes." Ben closed his eyes and clenched his fists.

"Ben don't do anything stupid. It's not that big of a deal..." He opened his eyes back up and walked closer to her.

"Not that big of a deal?! Rey look at yourself! My own fucking brother did this to you!"

"Stop yelling." Ben groaned and started pulling at his hair.

"I'm just frustrated. I'm sorry." She sighed and started waking back into her room.

"Rey I said I'm sorry..."

"I'm just changing. Chill." Ben followed her and she started changing.

"How did this happen? What the fuck happened? I have a lot of questions..."

"Kylo came in and at the time I thought it was you. Since I thought it was you... I offered that we go do something like a movie. I'm sorry don't get mad. After that I figured out it was him and he did this."

"I'm not mad at you Rey... Don't think that. Why did he just randomly do this to you?"

"I may or may not have said things that pissed him off a bit... It was the only defense I'm sorry..."

"Stop saying sorry. I'm not mad at you." She nodded.

"He knew me when he was with Tiffany. I never met him but he saw me around and apparently damn Tiffany talked about me a lot. He's wanted me for years..." Ben's hands balled into fists again but he maintained himself.

"God Ben, why am I so fucking naive? If I would of just opened my damn eyes I could of seen all the people that cared about me..." Ben looked at her sadly but he won't say anything because he wants to let Rey finish with her thoughts.

"Anyways... I said some things, he hit me, bla bla bla..."

"Why the fuck would he hurt you if he wanted you?" She hesitated before speaking again.

"You... He's angry with you..." If Kylo was so fucking angry then just beat up Ben. Not Rey...

"Did he say why?"

"He said one reason but I mentioned the rest. You get everything you want. You got me... I said he's angry because you put him in jail, because you found out what he did to Tiffany, and..."

"And what?"

"Because you'd never let him see Maya again... It went downhill from there. Every time I said something about his child he'd get more angry."

"What made him most angry?"

"I-I asked... if he was going to rape me like he did Tiffany and get me pregnant... Then get another child taken away from him..." Ben wasn't sure what to do...

"You swear he didn't do anything else?"

"I didn't lie about that. He just did this. I promise." He believed her. He had no reason not to.

"Ben I'm a little worried..."

"Why?"

"Maya is Kylo's kid, he hurt me more than he already did... That's two things from my dream that came true." Shit...


	33. Chapter 33

Rey's POV:

Rey was really worried that Ben found out about what happened to her last night. Her plan was exactly for him not to find out. She would of put makeup on to cover her bruises and acted like normal. But Ben knows now... And she really, really hopes Kylo doesn't know that. 

When she had gotten home last night she left everything on her counter and laid in bed. She didn't even bother to call her teacher. Everything was hurting and it still hurts. Rey heard her phone ring countless of times but she was in too much pain to get up and get it. 

Now that Ben is here she was ignoring the pain. He came in here and started yelling questions at her, which she gets a little bit. She didn't mean to worry him. But it also scared her. He rarely yells and when he does it's not this bad. The only time she can really remember was when he had gotten in that fight with Luke. He was angry and she had never heard him like that. That's how he is right now... And it's towards her. Ben has never yelled at her like this before... and she knows it's because he's mad with Kylo. But still... 

Despite that, she's also scared of something else. Her dream is coming true... How is this even possible? It all just has to be a coincidence. 

"Maya is Kylo's kid, he hurt me more than he already did... That's two things from my dream that came true." Once she said that Ben just stood there, looking frustrated and concerned. 

"I'm sorry I yelled at you..." She looked down at the floor and shrugged her shoulders.

"It's okay... Just don't freak out like that when bad things happen... It scares me and makes me nervous." 

"I-I know... It's just... You know that feeling when you just can't control yourself because it's just so... ugh what's the word..."

"I get it."

"I'll try to not get so angry but I can't help it sometimes..." Rey nodded and sat down on her bed. Ben sighed and looked around.

"Come with me to the station."

"Ben I-"

"Please?" The look on his face made her feel guilty if she were to say no... 

"Alright... Hold on I gotta-"

"No makeup." She furrowed her eyebrows.

"Why? I'm not-"

"Just do as I say... I'm trying to get this Kylo problem solved without killing him." Oh... 

"Will they even believe us that Kylo did this?"

"I don't know. But it's worth a shot." 

"Okay... I'm brushing my hair at least." She got up and winced as she walked to the bathroom. She really needs to take some pain medication. She went to brush her hair but her arm hurt too bad.

"Ben will you do it? And don't be that person that rips the person's hair out 'cause they brush so hard." Ben shook his head and laughed. He took the brush and started brushing her hair. Either he's being extra gentle or this is how he actually brushes hair.

"Thank god..."

"That I'm not one of those people?"

"Yeah."

"Well I know how it feels. That's how my mom was when she tried to brush my hair and do things with it. It's probably the biggest reason why I don't let people touch my hair." She couldn't imagine Leia trying to do Ben's hair... 

"Okay. Let's go." Rey nodded and she grabbed her phone on their way out. She was a little slow but Ben was patient with her. 

"Do you need anything?" She shook her head.

"I'm okay."

"No you're not..." She just kept walking and tried proving to him that she is okay. Somewhat...

"Rey..."

"I'm fine." 

\---

Once they got to the station Ben's boss was in a meeting with someone, so they had to wait outside his boss's office. She got a text from Rose with a picture attached to it.

**Rose: Ben texted me and told me that you're alright. I hope you feel better soon... I'm texting you though to let you know Nutcracker parts were posted.**

The picture was the paper with the list on it. She nervously looked through it and gasped when she looked at her part.

_**Rey Kenobi: Sugar Plum Fairy** _

"What?" Ben looked at her, concerned but she just smiled excitedly and looked up at him.

"What...?"

"I got Sugar Plum Fairy!" 

"I have no idea what role that is but I'm so proud of you!" He smiled and she handed him her phone to show him the picture. He smiled even bigger.

"You got a lead role! Who exactly is this fairy person...?"

"She's like the queen or whatever in the second act of the show. She shows Clara and the prince the land. Have you not heard the popular Christmas song? She also does some pas de deuxs with a guy called the Cavalier."

"I've heard the song. But what the hell is a pas de deux?" 

"A duet." He 'oohed' and nodded.

"Well who got that part?"

"I don't know. Look." He looked at the picture and then looked at her with an annoyed expression.

"Toby got that part." Rey was confused. Toby tried out? That means she has to do duets with Toby and practice for hours with him. 

"Really?"

"Yep."

"Well cool." She smiled and took her phone back. 

"Does that mean he's gotta hold you close against him and do weird crap that they always do in those duet thingys...?"

"Yes... But it's like acting." He went to speak but the door was opened and whoever Ben's boss, Cal, was talking to walked out. Ben stood up and helped Rey up too. Once they walked into the office, Cal's eyes widened.

"What happened?!" Ben shut the door and gently put his hands on her shoulders, having her sit down. 

"Kylo happened." 

"Kylo did this to her...?"

"Yes. You have to believe us... If you don't I can find any-"

"I do. But if you were to report this and have it turn into a big deal... I don't know if you'd win. It would all depend." 

"What do you mean? Look at her." Rey shyly looked down at her hands while they talked.

"I see that. But we will need some evidence. Not me personally, that's enough. But... just in case... Find footage or anything that could lead back to Kylo. Where and when did this happen?"

"Last night. And I don't know... Rey you have to answer that." She looked up and nodded.

"In the alley behind the diner I work at. 'Maz's Diner.'"

"Alright. Do you know if there is any security cameras?"

"I believe there is... I could check..."

"If there is, Ben, check the footage. Bring it to me and we'll discuss further action." Ben sighed and nodded. 

"My mom is a fucking idiot for bailing him out..." She looked up at him.

"Hey. She didn't know." Suddenly his eyes widened and he looked like he just realized something.

"Oh shit... She doesn't know..."

"Know what?"

"That she has a grandchild... I still haven't told her that Maya is Kylo's daughter..." Cal looked at them strangely but Ben was suddenly pulling Rey up.

"We gotta go. Thank you Cal."

"No problem." He pulled her out of the room and he immediately started dialing his mom's phone number. 

"You're gonna tell her now?"

"Yes. She needs to know... Fuck. I should of told her earli- Hey mom." He pointed at the seat for her to sit down and once she did he walked into a different hall. Rey sighed and waited for him to be done talking to Leia. After about 5 minutes he came back and seemed pissed. 

"What happened? What'd she say?"

"She said she's having a hard time processing the information. I also told her about what happened last night and that's when she didn't really want to accept it. She went on and on about how Kylo isn't like that and that he wouldn't rape someone. I hung up eventually. But... whatever." He paused and held his hand out to help her stand up. 

"Come with me to my office."

"K." They went to his office and he started going through his drawers.

"What are you looking for...?" He didn't answer but just handed her a small flashlight looking thingy. 

"What is this?"

"Pepper spray." 

"Are you sure that would... work...?" He nodded.

"In the police academy they sprayed us with with pepper spray so we would know what it feels like. It is terrible... God that stuff is awful." That reassured her a little...

"Well when would I use this? I don't wanna use it at the wrong time..."

"You use it in situations like last night." 

"What happens if I use it and I need it again?" He pulled out another can of pepper spray from his drawer and handed it to her.

"Then have 2." 

"Okay..." She put them in her bag and looked back at Ben.

"Why do you have pepper spray randomly in here...?"

"In case I need it." He shut the drawer and set his stuff down at his desk.

"I have to deal with work shit. So looks like you're stuck here."

"Why do I have to stay here? Ugh..."

"Because. Kylo is out there somewhere. And he knows where you live. Probably has your keys."

"That's comforting to know..."

"Oh just dandy." He chuckled as he sat down and turned on his computer. 

Ben's POV:

When he brought Rey to the station he was worried his boss wouldn't believe him. But he surprisingly did. Then Rey reminded him, unintentionally, that he had to tell his mom about Maya being Kylo's child. Fun... Oh something that will also be 'funnn' is possibly watch footage of Rey and Kylo from last night. He'll deal with that later.

"Hey mom."

"Hi Ben. What do you need?"

"I have to tell you something..."

"Oh no..." He glanced over at Rey as he walked into a different hall.

"You shouldn't have bailed Kylo out..."

"Why? Ben... He's-"

"He's the boyfriend that raped Tiffany and got her pregnant." Leia was silent for a few seconds.

"What...?"

"He even admitted it. He was Tiffany's boyfriend and raped her. Maya is his daughter..."

"Y-You mean I'm a grandmother...?"

"Yes but I wouldn't think about that right now... Kylo needs to be in jail. Rape is something someone is arrested for mom."

"Are we even sure it-"

"Don't defend him. I've had enough of him."

"What has he done to you that is so-"

"He beat Rey up last night." More silence.

"Really...?"

"Yeah. Thanks for bailing him out. I'm very, very, very close to hunting Kylo down and shooting him-"

"Ben!"

"Not literally but I'd hurt him." 

"Ben... This isn't Kylo. I know who he is... Maybe he didn't rape Tiffany. Maybe it was a misunderstanding. And he wouldn't beat Rey up. She-"

"MOM! He raped, let me say that again, raped someone. That is not a misunderstanding. That is illegal. Very, very, very illegal. Also, he assaulted Rey. And had a gun without a permit which makes it illegal." 

"This is a lot to process... I still don't know... This isn't Kylo..." She went on and on and it started to really piss him off. He hung up in the middle of her sentence and shoved his phone in his pocket. 

Now he's in his office trying to work but Rey won't stop touching things. She's bored, he knows that, but oh my god... She keeps pacing the room, picking things up, and knocking stuff down. She's like a child. 

"Okay. We're going to the diner." He gave up on this case and decided to deal with the Kylo situation.

"Finally something exciting..."

"Exciting?"

"Yes. This is boring."

"Do this all day..." They went out to his car and headed over to the diner. Once they walked inside Maz gasped.

"Oh my goodness Rey what-"

"Yeah, yeah... I look like I just fell down 5 flights of stairs..." Rey explained what happened last night and Ben explained what they're here for.

"Yes. We have all footage in my office. Follow me." They did and once they were in the room with all the screens, Maz looked for the footage from last night. 

"Skip to where you need to. I need to go help costumers. I hope you find what you need..." She shut the door and Ben sat down in the chair. Rey stood next to him and looked closely at the screen.

"I need you to find the area you were in..." She pointed and he skipped the video until Rey told him to stop. 

"Stop." It was showing Kylo's arm on her shoulder as they walked down the alley. He took a few deep breaths and watched what happened. He could hear them too so he got to see what exactly triggered Kylo. Once he saw Kylo slap Rey he clenched his fists and tried to stay calm. The more they watched the angrier Ben got. He really hated listening to Rey's cries of agony and watching her try to fight back. He tried not to laugh when Kylo punched the wall but he didn't because Rey ran to where the camera angle switched. 

"What area did you go to?"

"Mmm... there." She pointed and he switched to that camera. He found the right time and continued watching this. He saw the fear in Rey's face when she made it to that dead end. Why did this have to happen to her...?

"Ben I don't know if you want to watch the rest..."

"I have to." The rest was terrible to watch... He saw her pretty much give up and eventually Ben had to close his eyes. The whole time he was worried and calling her last night this was happening...

\---

Rey and Ben are back at Rey's apartment waiting for anything from his boss. They had saved the footage and gave it to Cal. Now they have to wait.

Rey was starting to feel really sick again too... She's been feeling nauseous so she's laying down in her bed while Ben cooks some dinner. Rey wanted to cook but he wanted her to relax. When he finished making the dinner he went to get Rey but she was up running to the bathroom. He followed her into the bathroom and she threw up again. He quickly knelt down beside her and held her hair back for her. He hopes she isn't sick for too long...


	34. Chapter 34

Rey's POV:

_ 2 weeks later _

Things have been getting better. Everything is back to normal. Ben is working, Rey is doing well with dance and her job, and her Nutcracker rehearsals have been good too. She's just been stressed. She wants to do really well with it and so she is practicing her dances a lot more than she needs to. Her and Toby have their first pad de deux practice today also. 

There is just one problem that's she is getting worried about. Well kind of two. First, Rey is still sick. Some days she'll be throwing up and others she is fine. She's also been gaining just a little bit of weight. Not much but she is noticing it because she is used to being really, really skinny. Besides that problem, they still don't know where Kylo went. The footage her and Ben sent in caused him to be charged with assault and rape because of what Kylo admitted basically in the video. 

Rey walked into NU to go practice with Toby. Ben was working and said he'd be here in about an hour. They're going to go hangout at Ben's apartment after her rehearsals. She walked into the classroom and was greeted by their choreographer. 

"Rey?"

"Yes. It's nice to meet you."

"Very nice to meet you too. I am head director of the Nutcracker this year so if you have any questions, let me know. I'm Ted by the way." 

"Thank you." He nodded and she saw Toby come in. The choreographer introduced himself to Toby and they got started. He taught them the lifts first and had them practice. After about an hour their time was up and the guy left. Toby and Rey decided to keep practicing. There was a lift where he had to grabbed her waist and lift her up onto his shoulder. After she had to gracefully jump off his shoulder and be caught in his arms. He would then grab onto her thigh with one hand and her waist with the other and hold her nearly upside down. It's a lot more pretty than it sounds. 

"Okay lets try that again... Ugh this one is so hard..." Toby nodded and they both got ready to do it.

"Are you ready?"

"Mhm." He lifted her up onto his shoulder and she lost her balance a little bit. 

"Ahh... Don't let me fall!"

"I got you don't worry." She did the fall into his arms and they started laughing because they did it wrong. She heard the door open and saw Ben walk in.

"Oh hey Ben!" They stopped laughing but kept smiling. 

"Let's try this one more time before I go."

"Alright." Toby lifted her up again and this time she had better balance. She looked over at Ben and he was just staring at them. She is going to talk to him after this... 

"Don't fuck this up again Rey."

"Hey! You're the one catching me!" They laughed again and this time they did the lift correct. 

"Ben! Does this look good?" Ben walked closer to them and nodded.

"I have no idea how it's supposed to look but it looks fine to me." He smiled a little bit and Toby finally let her down. 

"K I'll see you tomorrow Toby."

"See ya." They hugged and she got her stuff together. 

"What's up with you Ben?" She knows how he acts when he's jealous. He's quiet and awkwardly stands there. Sometimes he gets a little possessive. 

"Nothing."

"Mhm. Sure Ben. Sure." 

\---

Back at Ben's he was making dinner while she paced the kitchen talking about Thanksgiving coming up. Ben kept smiling and she could see it out of the corner of her eye.

"I'm excited. I can eat lots of food."

"When do you not eat lots of food?" He laughed a little and she smiled.

"True. I probably should stop though... I'm gaining weight... I'm gonna get fucking fat." He stopped what he was doing and turned around to look at her. He furrowed his eyebrows.

"What? No you're not..."

"Yes I am. My stomach looks bigger than normal... I even checked on the scale and I gained 10 pounds." He looked at her body for a few seconds.

"I mean... I barely notice the small change but it doesn't look bad. I think it's better. Now you're not so underweight." She sighed and sat down at the counter. 

"I know... I just... What if it gets worse?"

"It won't." He turned back around and started cooking something on the stove.

"Well there is one good thing..." 

"What?" Ben turned around again while he let whatever he was making heat up.

"My boobs are bigger too so that's great." She smiled and grabbed onto her boobs. It was mostly a joke but also true. She's wanted bigger boobs for a long time. Ben smiled and chuckled.

"Don't you think it's great Ben?"

"No comment." He turned back around and she laughed. 

"Don't get shy..." She walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his stomach. 

"Answer my question Bun." She saw him smile and blush a little. 

"Yeah..." She smiled and jumped when Ben's phone started ringing. She let go and had her watch the food while he answered the phone.

"Hello?" There was a lot of talking from whoever called him but she didn't know who it was. Ben's eyebrows furrowed and he started nervously running his hands through his hair.

"What do you mean mom?" So it's Leia...

"Calm down. Hold on a second." He left the room and quickly went onto the balcony. She wondered what was wrong... She saw him pace the balcony and he looked really nervous and sad. 5 minutes pass and he finally comes back in the kitchen. He slowly set his phone down and stared blankly at the floor. He blinked back a few tears and finally looked at the food. 

"Ben... What's wrong...? What happened?" He hesitated before speaking.

"M-My dad... He was killed last night..." Her eyes widened.

"What?! How? What happened?" He bit his lip and continued cooking the food.

"Forget the food. What happened?"

"His body was found last night... In some street... He had a gunshot wound on his head..." Rey was about to cry... Han is dead? It doesn't feel real... Han was such a funny and sweet person... 

"Do you know who did it?" Ben nodded. 

"Cops saw security camera footage... K-Kylo did it..." Oh god... No... That fucking asshole! How could he do this?! How could he do that to his own father?! Ben looked so upset right now...

"Ben are you okay...?"

"Yeah. Just fine..." Rey put her hand on his shoulder. 

"Ben you can be honest..."

"I said I'm fine." His voice was more firm but that didn't stop her.

"Ben-"

"I'm fine!!! Alright?! Leave me alone!" She jumped and instantly pulled her arm away. He never yelled at her like that before... She looked down and avoided looking at Ben. Yelling always makes her really nervous. She hates being yelled at. 

"I think you need some alone time... I'm gonna go." She quickly walked away and got her stuff. 

"Rey no... I'm sorry... I didn't mean to snap..." She shook her head and opened his front door.

"Rey don't go..."

"I'll see you tomorrow." She didn't let him say anything else and left, shutting the door behind her. She knows he needs to be alone for a little bit. That was probably a lot to take in... It was for her. She heard glass break as she walked down the hall to go home. She doesn't have her car so she's just going to have to walk to Maz's Diner or something. 

Ben's POV:

Ben feels so fucking stupid... He shouldn't have yelled at her like that... Fuck he's an idiot! He didn't mean to... He was so overwhelmed by sadness and anger. When he answered the phone Leia was crying.

"Ben I have to tell you something... I-I don't know how to tell you this... Han's body was found last night... I-I don't know how to deal with this... Oh god..."

"What do you mean mom?"

"Your father is dead... I can't live without him... Ben I don't know what to do..." Those words had made him go onto the balcony so he could not worry Rey.

"Calm down. Hold on a second." When he got out there he started asking more questions.

"What happened?"

"Last night Han went grocery shopping... I got a call from the police that he was shot and killed..."

"What...? W-Where?"

"In some street..."

"Do you know who did it?"

"Oh Ben... You were right about Kylo... I shouldn't have bailed him out..." Kylo did this... No... Fuck! No no no no... 

"Kylo did it?" His voice cracked and he was trying not to cry.

"Yes... They found it on a footage tape... He was shot in the head... Ben why would Kylo do that...?"

"I don't know... Does Maya know...?"

"Yeah... She's a little upset. I didn't tell her exactly what happened though... She's too young to know her own father killed her grandpa..."

"What'd you tell her...?"

"I just said he got hit by a car... I didn't know what to say!"

"That's alright mom... Do you want me to fly to you...?"

"No honey... That's alright..."

"A-Are you sure?"

"Yes... I will let you know if I decide to do a funeral..." They said their goodbyes and he went back inside. He didn't know what to feel. He was confused, angry, really sad... He felt like his heart was just ripped out of his body... His dad wasn't the best dad but he loved him still... This is what made him snap at Rey. He was overwhelmed with his feelings and he didn't want to talk about it. 

Back to now, he feels really, really bad. When Rey shut that door he wanted to go after her. But he knew he shouldn't. She wanted to leave, that's her decision... Ben threw the glass cup next to him at the wall and didn't even care that it shattered. He ran his hands through his hair and started pulling at it, pacing the room. 

"Damn it!" He sat on the floor and put his head between his legs. He's never felt so sad... He feels awful for treating his dad so terribly... He feels so awful for yelling at Rey... He feels like the worst person ever... He started crying and he wanted this pain to just go away... He wants Rey here... He wants her to come back... He can't go through this alone... He thought of one person that he could talk to and be understood. This person understands what he's been through because she went through the same as him. Phasma. 

Ben got up quickly and tried to stop crying while he dialed Phasma's number. They haven't talked in a long time. They've seen each other but that's it. They like to act like nothing ever happened. But he has to apologize for what happened in the past. He knows Phasma would understand how he feels. Ben regrets so much and now that he is seeing what he regrets right in front of his face, he needs to apologize to Phasma before he regrets not doing that too. 

"Hello...?"

"Hey Phasma... I-"

"Ben...? Are you crying?"

"Yes. Can you come over? I need to talk to you..."

"Uh yeah sure. I'll be there in a second." He hung up and rested his head against the wall. He needs Rey more than anything but she probably doesn't want to talk to him right now. 10 minutes later Phasma got to his apartment and he let her inside. 

"Ben what did you need?"

"Kylo killed my dad and I just yelled at my girlfriend but that's not why I want you here..."

"Oh my god, are you okay?"

"No... Anyways... I realized how much I didn't do... and I really, really regret it... I can't regret anything else. I'm s-so sorry about the past with Snoke and-"

"Why are you telling me sorry? That wasn't your fault..."

"I could have stopped it."

"Ben we were what... 14? 13? You didn't exactly have control... My dad would have done something terrible to you..." Ben stayed quiet and remembered he had something else to apologize for.

"Also... I'm sorry I killed him. God that was all-"

"Don't be sorry about that either. He was doing terrible things and nothing was stopping him." Phasma was one of the only people he knew that was taller than him so he had to look up at her a little bit. 

"Ben this isn't something you should be worrying about right now... You're dad was just killed by Kylo if I heard that correctly?"

"Yeah... I- well... long story."

"It's okay you don't have to talk about what happened." Phasma pulled Ben to his couch and had him sit down. 

"What happened with Rey...?"

"I yelled at her... She left because of it. I didn't mean to..."

"Sometimes we do a lot we don't mean to do." She sat down next to him. 

"I know this is weird... We haven't spoken at all since... I don't even remember. You're the only person other than Rey that I can talk to..."

"It's not weird." Ben sighed and looked out the window.

"What do I do about Rey? What the hell do I do about any of this?"

"I say you give it a few hours then call her. As for your dad's death... You just need to grieve in the way that's best for you. Stop being a cop for 5 seconds and focus on yourself. You always need to go after someone who hurt someone you love. And you always worry about Rey. Not that, that is bad... It's just you never take time for yourself. Rey and I were talking one day and she even said she wishes you'd stop worrying about her so much. If Rey is what you need, then call her in a few hours. If not, take some time being alone." Ben nodded and let what Phasma said sink in.

"Thank you..."

"Mhm. I'm going to go now alright? You need some time to think." They both stood up and she hugged him. 

"Bye Ben. Lets get dinner sometime." He nodded and she left. What she said is true... It's just hard. He's so protective so it's really difficult to think about himself. 

\---

It's 3 am and Ben can't sleep at all. He's spent the rest of the night laying down on the couch and watching TV. He didn't eat dinner because he just didn't feel like eating. He tried calling Rey but she didn't answer. He gets why... 

Now he's turning and tossing in bed, trying his best to fall asleep. His head won't quit... All he can think about is how much he misses his dad. How sad his mom is. How bad he felt for yelling at Rey. How angry he was at Kylo. He feels so stressed... He just wants Rey. He shouldn't have pushed her away... His heart literally hurts... Ben tried calling Rey again but she didn't answer. He is going to have to deal with this for an entire night... It is 3:12 in the morning so he didn't really expect Rey to answer. Ben started crying for the 3rd time tonight and sat up. He can't take this... He's really starting to understand how Rey feels about her parents. Why she used to cut herself. He would much rather break a bone right now than feel this pain... He tried calling Rey one last time. If she doesn't answer he doesn't know-

"Hello...? Ben it's 3 in the morning..." Thank fucking god...

"I know... Rey I'm so sorry... I didn't mean to yell... I really, really need you... Please..."

"Okay... I'll... I'll hurry. I'll be over in a minute."

"Why didn't you answer earlier...?'

"I wanted to give you space. Answering the phone wouldn't have given you the space you needed." They said goodbye and Ben got out of bed. He couldn't take that stupid bed anymore.

\---

Nearly 30 minutes pass and he finally heard a knock on the door. He quickly opened it and let Rey inside.

"Ben-"

"Rey I'm sorry... I really am..."

"I was about to say... Ben, it's okay. Come here." He wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on her shoulder. He was really close to crying...

"Let's go sit. You're really tall..." They went into the living room and sat on the floor.

"Let me take care of you for once..." He nodded and hugged her, letting himself cry into her chest.


	35. Chapter 35

Rey's POV:

Rey held Ben against her as he sobbed into her chest and she did her best to be as comforting as possible. She knows how it feels to lose a parent... That awful feeling of regret. How much you miss the person. She feels bad for leaving earlier but she thinks it was best for them. She needed to leave before it could of potentially gotten worse. Also, Ben needed his space. He can't make his own decisions with someone right next to him. 

Besides what happened, she came to him. Even if it was 3 in the morning. She ignored his calls earlier because once again, he needed space. But once she got woken up this late, she knew he needed her. On the phone, Ben sounded awful. His voice was cracking, it was hoarse, and it sounded like he was crying. As tired as she was, she got up as quickly as she could, and came here. She'll always be there for Ben. No matter what. Ben has been there for her so much she lost count. She'd love to return the favor. 

"I fucking miss him..." She looked at him with a pained expression and rubbed her hands on his back. She misses Han too. But not nearly as much as Ben does. 

"I didn't realize how much I missed him until now... I want him back..." It was hard to understand but she figured out what he was saying. 

"Rey I want him back..."

"I know Ben... It hurts I know..."

"I was s-such an asshole towards him... I feel so terrible..." Now the regret. 

"You and Han ended on a good note. Remember our trip? You and Han shared so many stories... Laughed at stupid jokes... Laughed at me for not knowing what Star Wars was..."

"I know... I still feel terrible... I c-could have been better... My entire life I wasted arguing with him..."

"It's alright Ben. It may not feel like it but I know Han is very, very proud of you. Look at everything you've accomplished. What you have." She could of swore she felt Ben's arms tighten around her but she wasn't sure. 

"Ben what was the last thing you and your dad said to each other?"

"I don't know... I can't remember..." 

"Your dad said that he loved you. You said it in return." He nodded and she started running her fingers through his hair. 

"You know what is killing me the most...?"

"What?"

"I never told him about Maya... He doesn't know he was a grandpa... He n-never got the chance to try..."

"Ben don't beat yourself up over that. I'm sure Leia told him." It went on like this for at least another hour. Ben cried, stopped for a few minutes, talked about what he feels, then got back to crying. She didn't mind at all though. By the time it was nearly 4:30, Rey was leaning against the couch while Ben laid down with his head in her lap. He stopped crying but he still looked pretty upset. She hopes she helped at least a little bit... His eyes were swollen and red from crying for so long and her shirt was drenched with tears but she's just glad he is better than he was before.

"I'm sorry I'm not very good with helping..."

"No. You helped a lot... You're helping just by being here."

"You're not just saying that?" He shook his head and closed his eyes. Rey ran her fingers over his forehead and cheek, hoping he'd fall asleep. She's willing to stay up for the rest of the night just so Ben could finally rest. 

\---

Rey woke up to her alarm with her head against the couch and Ben still where he was. She doesn't remember falling asleep... Rey had classes today but she wasn't sure if she should go. But she has to... Her teacher has been a lot more strict about attendance. Rey needs to be to every class to be properly ready for Nutcracker. As much as Rey hated doing it, she gently shook Ben awake. Her heart ached because she had to wake him up... He looked so peaceful in his sleep. Not like he was fighting a constant war in his head. Ben grumbled a what and she had to fight back a giggle. 

"I need to get to dance... I'm really sorry... I'd stay if I could..."

"No, no, no. Don't be sorry. You need to go. I'll be alright." He slowly sat up and rubbed his eyes.

"Did you fall asleep sitting up...?"

"Yeah. It's-"

"Rey... Really? Now I feel bad..."

"Don't. I would of moved if I wanted to." He nodded and got up. Once she stood up she got really lightheaded. When she doesn't get enough sleep she gets really sick that day. It's worth it though. 

_1 week later_

Rey sighed and ran her hands over her dress. Funerals are rough. They remind her too much of her parent's funeral and they're always just very sad. It'd be messed up if it wasn't sad... 

Han's funeral was today. Because of this, Rey was excused from just today's classes. They were going to do the funeral tomorrow but Leia didn't think it'd be best because it'd be a Sunday. Her and Ben took a plane back to Chandrila late last night and got there early this morning. Leia picked them up but Maya wasn't with her. She found out that Luke was staying with Leia so he watched Maya. It was early and Leia didn't want to wake her up. 

Now it is almost noon, Ben is getting dressed, and Rey is waiting downstairs for him and Maya. Rey had on a black dress with some heels. Normal funeral clothes really. The dress felt tighter than normal which is more proof that she's gaining weight. Leia was sitting on the couch next to Luke, softly crying. Poor Leia... Maya suddenly came running down the stairs with a smile on her face.

"Rey!" She hasn't seen Maya yet and she smiled. Rey picked Maya up and hugged her tightly.

"Hi Maya." 

"I missed you!"

"I missed you too." Rey set her down and knelt down in front of her.

"Try to calm down a little bit okay? Leia and Ben are having a really hard time..."

"Okay. I will I promise. Is that why you're sad? Cause Mr. Ben is sad?" Rey nodded.

"That and-"

"And cause Hand died...?" Rey smiled because Maya called him hand. She is so adorable. 

"Yeah... I miss him. But don't worry about me. Can you give Ben a big hug when he comes down here?" She nodded excitedly.

"Of course I will." Ben has gotten a little better... If it were to be a scale from 1 to 10 she'd say he was a 10 before and a 7 now. She heard footsteps from upstairs and saw Ben come downstairs a few seconds later. Clearly he didn't bother with his hair today... Once he got down the stairs all the way, Maya walked up to him and hugged his legs because she was too short. Ben gave her a sad smile and sat down on the floor so Maya could hug him easier. Rey saw a tear roll down Ben's face and she wished he wasn't hurting so much. Maya laughed a little bit and Ben smiled as he pulled away.

"What?"

"Your hair was tickling me." Ben sniffled and kept smiling. Maya wiped away the tears slowly coming down his face and Rey thought that was the cutest thing ever. Leia stood next to Rey and smiled, despite how sad she was. Rey turned to her and gave her a hug.

"I'm sorry Leia... Is there anything I could do?"

"Thank you Rey but no..."

"Alright." Rey pulled away and watched Maya and Ben hug some more. 

"Thank you for being here Rey. I apologize for making you skip your dance classes..."

"Of course! No apologies needed though. You're not making me do anything. I chose to be here." Leia nodded and patted Rey's shoulder before going back over to Luke. Maya eventually stopped hugging Ben and went into the kitchen to get something. Ben stood up and looked in the direction she went. Rey walked over to Ben and he looked over at her. 

"You look good Ben."

"Thank you. So do you." Rey smiled and hugged him. He let out a shaky breath and played with her hair.

"I haven't asked if you were okay... Are you doing okay Rey?"

"I'm just fine Ben. Don't worry about me." 

"But you've been so patient and kind this week... I haven't even thought if this was affecting you..."

"Why would I not be okay from helping you?"

"I mean... about my dad."

"Oh... Yes. I'm alright. Sad but alright." Ben moved his mouth closer to her ear.

"And how are you feeling? I'm kind of worried that you're still sick..."

"I'm feeling the same." She's been throwing up still nearly everyday. She doesn't get how she's gaining weight when she's throwing up so much. 

"Can you please see a doctor soon...?"

"Not now but yes. I will soon. Okay?" 

"Okay." Ben shouldn't be worrying about her right now... 

\---

They had the funeral at one of the churches in the city. There was, as usual, a lot of crying. She didn't cry though. She almost did but she held it back. Rey is sad, really sad, but she doesn't want anyone worrying about her. Han isn't related to her so it feels wrong if Ben or Leia were to comfort her. She needs to be strong for them. Ben was doing pretty well surprisingly. He cried a few times but not as bad as he usually did. Now that the funeral is over, people are saying hello to Ben and Leia while Rey sits alone at one of the tables. It's best if she stays out of some of it. 

"Rey...?" She looked up at Ben, who's eyebrows were furrowed like he was confused.

"Yeah?"

"You can come stand by me... You don't have to be here all alone..."

"I don't think I-" Rey was interrupted by a girl that looked about their age. She looked familiar...

"Hey Ben... I'm so sorry about your dad..." Ben looked at her and gave her a sad smile.

"It's okay. Thanks for coming Steph." Steph? Is that a nickname or something? Ben looked at Rey then back at the girl.

"Oh Rey this is Stephanie. Stephanie this is Rey, my girlfriend." Nickname. Why does Rey feel jealous...?

"Nice to meet you Rey!" Stephanie shook her hand and she smiled. Rey smiled back but it wasn't as genuine as Steph's.

"Ben come here!" Ben nodded a goodbye and walked over to Leia. Steph stayed where she was at.

"I'm glad Ben found someone." Are you though? Who is this girl?

"I was sad it didn't work out between us but it was for the best." Oh! This is that girl from the picture in Leia's photo album... Ben's ex. The girl he was kissing when the picture was taken. Rey feels even more jealous now.

"What happened?"

"Oh it just wasn't working. We both liked different things... He was going out of state for college... We argued a lot... So we ended it. Don't worry I'm not here to steal him back." Was it obvious that Rey was jealous...? 

"I wasn't worried about that."

"You can be honest. I'm a tough girl. Anyways, I'm not stealing him back. I'm engaged so... I just knew Han really well and heard about what happened. What Kylo did was awful..." Rey felt a little better... You never really meet nice ex girlfriends. Stephanie is actually really nice...

"Yeah..."

"Um well again, it was nice to meet you." Rey smiled and waved her goodbye before she walked away. Rey went back to staring at the wall for the next half hour. 

\---

Ben and Rey were going to stay the night in Chandrila and go home tomorrow night so they're back Monday. The plane tickets cost a lot of money but Leia is paying for everything. That is making Rey feel really guilty. Rey sat on the bed in Ben's old room and took her shoes off. She was so tired and just wanted to go to sleep. Ben was putting Maya in bed so once he's in here, she's turning the light off. 

Ben's POV:

The funeral wasn't as bad as he thought it was going to be. He was still sad but it felt almost... peaceful... Maya also helped. She was constantly hugging him and saying cute things like "It's okay Mr. Ben." or "Hand is okay. He's in heaven now." From now on, he's calling his dad Hand. Rey has also helped him tremendously. Always there anytime he needed her, reassuring him that everything will be alright. When Ben was sad, Rey would comfort him and when he was angry because Kylo killed Hand, she would calm him down. Like he said, he's calling Han, Hand. 

Rey has repeatedly told him, "Don't worry about me.", "I'm alright.", etc. He knows she isn't. But after a few days he gave up on trying to comfort  _her._ She doesn't want the comfort, she wants to give it. So he'll let her. But not for much longer. He's tired of watching her wipe her tears away and smile. He's tired of watching her look at herself in the mirror because she's, "gained weight". He's tired of her saying she's alright. Because she isn't. She's not only sad, she's sick. Something is wrong and he's worried. Throwing up almost everyday for 3 weeks is  _not_ normal. And the fact that she's gaining weight, is very, very odd. Because of all the throwing up, she's been eating as much as she could. So that's his guess as to why. Her gaining weight also isn't bad at all. It's actually good. She was way underweight before.

"Goodnight Mr. Ben."

"Goodnight Maya." He went to leave the room so him and Rey could get to bed but Maya stopped him.

"Wait! What about a goodnight kiss...?" Leia must of started that... He walked back to Maya and smiled. He gave her a quick kiss on the forehead and ran his fingers through her tangled hair.

"I think your kisses are my favorite." He chuckled.

"And why is that?"

"Leia's were always like... squishy and wet. Han never gave me goodnight kisses. Just high fives. Your's was perfect." Ben smiled and said goodnight again as he walked out of the room. Rey was putting her hair up when he walked into their room. 

"What took so long...?"

"Goodnight kiss." 

"Aww... I missed seeing you give a goodnight kiss?" He nodded and started changing.

"That is fucking adorable..." 

_ 5 days later _

He was very stressed. Him, his boss, and his co-workers have been looking everywhere for Kylo Ren. There is no trace of him anywhere. They keep thinking they're onto him but it just leads to a dead fucking end. Ben is still sad about his dad but he is well controlled now. Now, he's just angry. Angry at Kylo. And when he finds Kylo he wants him in jail for the rest of that asshole's life. Asshole is an understatement. He can't even think of a word for him... He raped someone and who knows who else, beat up Rey like she was his punching bag, and murdered their dad. He is a fucking monster... 

Ben spends his entire day looking for Kylo. Nearly his whole night. Ben eats probably once a day, if that. All this work he's been doing, means he hasn't been with Rey that much. Not only is he stressed, she's stressed. She been practicing and practicing for hours on end for the Nutcracker. She wants it to be perfect. Also, still sick. She won't go to a fucking doctor and if she doesn't soon he will go to her house, literally pick her up, and haul her to the doctor if he has to. She's making excuses about it and he can't figure out why. 

"Damn it!" He growled and threw his phone at the wall. Ben was looking through videos of footage in Chandrila and Naboo and right as he thought he was about to find something, his computer died. 

"Fuck! You gotta be fucking kidding me!" He paced his living room and pulled at his hair. He works at his apartment most of the time. His office gets annoying. It was night time and he was going to call Rey to make sure she made it home from work okay but she called him first. He picked up his phone and answered it.

"Hey..."

"Hi Ben. Go onto your balcony." 

"Rey-"

"Just do it." He sighed and walked where she told him too. He looked down and saw her looking up at him with her phone against her ear. 

"I was going to come up there because I was over in this area with Rose but I didn't know if you were busy so I called. I'm lazy." He laughed and talked in the phone.

"If you come up here, I'm gonna tie you to my bed and keep you for at least 3 days. I'm just in that kind of mood." **(A/N: An actual thing Adam Driver said on the tv show he was on, "Girls". lol I thought it was a funny moment.)**

"Wow Ben... So romantic."

"Oh totally." She laughed and hung up the phone.

"So can I come up there?!" He nodded and she started walking up the stairs to his apartment. He unlocked the door so she could walk right in and got all his papers in a neat pile. She walked in and set her stuff down.

"Any signs of Kylo...?" He looked at her and shook his head.

"No."

"I'm sorry... You're trying though. Take credit for that." They both sat down on his couch and Rey sighed.

"How's practice?"

"Good I guess... I keep messing up the lifts with Toby..." Toby isn't so bad anymore, but Ben still gets jealous. They both sat in silence for a minute before Rey got up and got a glass of water. As she filled her cup of with ice she suddenly stopped and just started crying. He looked at her startled for a second then hurried beside her. 

"Oh my god are you okay?" She shook her head. He took the cup out of her hand and set it down.

"I can't hold this in anymore..." Ben knew she'd snap. She's been holding this in for a week now. Ben wrapped his arms around her and ran soothing circles on her back with his hands. 

"I'm so sad about Han... I can't get the stupid lifts in my dance right... I'm gaining weight..." Ben kissed her head and let her cry. She explained to him why she was the way she was at Han's funeral and why she wouldn't let herself cry. 

"Rey... Just because you're not related to my dad doesn't mean you can't cry and stand next to me when I talked to people... That is the silliest thing I've ever heard. R-Rey you're apart of my family... You know that right?" She shook her head.

"Well it's true. You are apart of my family now. Me, you, Maya, Luke, Han, sadly Kylo... We're all a family. Okay?"

This ended with both of them crying. Ben was crying for multiple reasons. His dad, Kylo, and especially because Rey was so upset. Her reasons for being upset was making him sadder than he already was. This is probably a good thing they're both crying and holding each other... It's kind of a balance now. They both comforted each other this time. Not just Rey being there for Ben or vice versa. 

\---

The next day felt different. He just felt more relaxed. Still stressed, but not as much. He got a full night of sleep next to Rey and made sure to wake her up once his alarm woke him up. Ben didn't go into work because once again, he'd rather be home and work on finding Kylo. Rey left a few hours ago so she could get to her classes. 

While she was gone he tried finding those footage tapes from last night again. He swears if he screws this up again he will throw his computer out the window... Ben's phone started ringing and he groaned. It was his boss. What does he want?

"Hello?" 

"Hey. We think we know where Kylo is."

"Really?! Where?"

"Canto Bight."

"That's like... 5 states away..." Canto Bight is like Las Vegas. And he should of known Kylo would go to a place like that. All he does is hook up with girls and now apparently, murder people's dads. 

"I know. This is why I'm calling you. We need to go there."

"Okay. When?"

"Tonight. I think it's best if we go as soon as possible. I bought you, me, and 2 other officers plane tickets. I also paid for the hotel rooms." So really Ben doesn't have a choice if everything is already paid for.

"How long are we doing this...?"

"Depends. Maximum will be 2 weeks. If we can't find him in 2 weeks we'll need to come back home." Ben ran his free hand through his hair and sighed.

"Alright. When does the flight leave? What airport?" 

"I'll email you info. Flight leaves at 8." 

"Okay. See you tonight." Ben hung up and dialed Rey's number. This trip isn't one he wants to take but if he is going to find Kylo, this is what he has to do. Even if he has to go to a place with lots of drinking and clubs and... whatever the hell they have there. 

"Hello?"

"Hey Rey... You busy?"

"No. I'm getting lunch. What's up?"

"I need to go to Canto Bight for 2 weeks. Maybe less..." She was silent for a few seconds.

"Wait, what?"

"We think we found Kylo. I didn't get the details so I don't know how we know this but he's supposedly in Canto Bight." He explained to Rey what his boss said and she was once again silent for a few seconds.

"Okay."

"Are you okay with this...?"

"Yes. Sorry Rose keeps asking me questions. Go ahead. I mean... I'll miss you but we can skype." 

"Yeah. You trust me right...?" 

"Of course. Why wouldn't I...?"

"I don't know... I just kind of thought you wouldn't. Canto Bight has all these clubs and-"

"Strip clubs?" He nearly died on the inside at that thought. If they need to go there to find Kylo-

"Ben?"

"Uh... I guess so. Just know that I might have to go there..." More silence. Rose needs to stop asking questions. 

"Oh my god Rose hold on... I'm talking to Ben- I trust you. If you need to go there than whatever. No big deal. As long as it's to find Kylo..." 

"I'm going to avoid going there at all costs..."

"You really are a goody goody." Can't argue with that.

"Be happy I'm a goody goody."

"I'll drive you to the airport. You're taking a plane right?"

"Yep." 

"When are you leaving...?"

"You see... Uh... tonight. At 8." 

"What?!" 

"Sorry-"

"Get over to NU now!"

"Why?"

"Because that means I only have like 8 hours left with you. I'm using that time."

"Rey I have-"

"Benjamin." Oof... She's never called him that before...

"Alright, alright. I'll be there in a sec." He went to NU like he promised and once he got there Rey came up to him and hugged him.

"You're leaving tonight... Ugh..."

"I'm sorry... I wasn't fond of leaving tonight either."

"Can you watch me practice? You give me that motivation I need." He nodded and smiled.

"What kind of question is that? Kill me when I say no." She rolled her eyes.

\---

He spent the rest of his day watching Rey dance for a few hours, going back home to pack, then coming back to watch Rey's Nutcracker rehearsal. She's driving him to the airport so they'll leave right after she's done. She had scheduled extra time in the studio and he couldn't believe how much she was practicing. 

Ben sat against the wall of the studio as Rey danced to the same song over and over again. He is going to really hate this song by the time she performs. She did a bunch of these weird turn things and once the song ended she would say how bad she was doing.

"Rey you're being way too hard on yourself. Chill out..." She took a sip from her water bottle and turned the song on again. He loves watching her dance, but seeing her like this was frustrating. She needs to stop criticizing her dancing... That same song ended again and Ben decided to turn on a different song. So Ben got up quickly and went through her song playlist on her phone. 

"Thanks Ben." He nodded. Wait until he doesn't turn on that song... She'll probably get irritated but whatever. He turned on the song E.T by Katy Perry and he walked over to Rey.

"Ben... I have to practice."

"You've practiced enough. Take a break." She sighed and nodded. Ben put his hands on her waist and smirked. 

 _You're so hypnotizing_  
Could you be the devil, could you be an angel  
Your touch magnetizing  
Feels like I'm floating, leaves my body glowing

Ben pulled her against him and she made a small gasping noise. Somehow this turned into some dance. Pretty dirty if you ask him... As soon as the chorus started though they had the same idea. 

 _Kiss me, k-k-kiss me_  
Infect me with your love and fill me with your poison  
Take me, t-t-take me  
Wanna be a victim, ready for abduction  
Boy, you're an alien, your touch so foreign  
Its supernatural, extraterrestrial

During the whole chorus they just kissed each other. Desperately. Because of everything that has been going on, they've barely had anytime to really do anything. The music started to just fade away. All he could think about right now is Rey. 2 weeks is going to be torture... 


	36. Chapter 36

Rey's POV:

Rey drove Ben to the airport and walked him inside to the gate he leaves at. She is a little sad he'll be gone for this long but it'll be worth it. And right when he'd get back, she'll have Nutcracker performances pretty much a week later. She found it so weird that Ben was worried she wouldn't trust him. There's no reason not to. He hasn't done a single thing to lose her trust.

Last night when her and Ben cried in each other's arms, she felt so overwhelming happy that Ben considered her apart of his family. She had no family and now she realized she does. And she is the most grateful person in the world for that.

Rey parked her car and helped Ben get his stuff out of the car. As they walked together into the airport she kept thinking about how much she'll miss him. Maybe it'll be good though. She's been so worried about her dances being perfect that Ben has to suffer listening to the music and watching her. He'll have a break.

Once they got to where Ben will leave, they stopped and hugged each other. They stayed like this for a while.

"Bye Ben... Please be safe. And call me when you get to your hotel." He pulled away and nodded. 

"And please go to the damn doctor while I'm gone. Please..." He's been wanting her to go to the doctor so badly. She wants to... But she can't afford it.

"I'll try."

"No. You won't try, you will."

"Ben-"

"Why can't you just go? It's not really that difficult..."

"I can't afford it Ben." He looked at her for a few seconds and handed her a card. His credit card...

"What? No! How the hell are you going to have money while your gone?!" He pulled out another card.

"I have a debit and credit card. I only use my credit card for things I really need."

"But Ben..."

"No buts. Don't argue. You're going to the doctor." She sighed and nodded.

"Okay. I'll go tomorrow. I promise." He seemed satisfied and nodded.

"I love you." He cupped her cheek and kissed her.

"I love you too." He kissed her one last time and left. She watched him leave then headed home. Guess she's going to the doctor tomorrow...

\---

Rey left her hairbrush at Ben's apartment so she went there before going home. His apartment was messier than it usually is. Clean, but considering who Ben is, he's probably annoyed with how "dirty" it is. So Ben could come home to a clean apartment, she cleaned everything up for him. Folded blankets, organized scattered papers, washed the dishes, then went to his room to see how it was. She put away all the clothes everywhere and made his bed. Hopefully this will take off some of Ben's stress when he's back. As she was cleaning she found a piece of paper and read it because it was Ben's handwriting. She totally forgot her and Ben wrote down the details of her dream...

She suddenly felt very upset because almost everything on this list happened. Kylo hurt her, Maya is Kylo's daughter, Kylo killed Han... She was also relieved though. She isn't pregnant so Ben... won't... die... Wait a second. Something just dawned on her. She's been throwing up, she's been gaining weight, she also  _just_ realized she missed her period... Is she pregnant? But how? That's not even possible... Her and Ben have always used- shit. Halloween... Oh no. They didn't use anything! Oh shit! They got so caught up in the moment...

"Shit, shit, shit..." She started panicking and paced the room. Her hands were shaking... she felt sick... she had no idea what to do... Rey looked through her phone for someone to call and she saw Rose's contact. She dialed it quickly.

"Hey Rey! What's up?"

"Umm... Rose?" Her voice was just as shaky as her hands.

"Is something wrong...?"

"Can you come with me to get a pregnancy test...?"

"Oh my god are you pregnant?!"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out Rose..."

"Right... Yeah. I'll go get one and bring it to you."

"Rose those are expensive."

"I don't care. Where are you?"

"I'm at Ben's but go to my place."

"Alright. I'll call you when I'm on my way." They hung up and Rey was still freaking out. She can't be pregnant... Ben will kill her... He won't want anything to do with it. She thinks this because he wasn't even ready to take care of Maya. How will he react to a baby? No. She's not pregnant. This is just... a coincidence.

\---

Rey went home, despite how panicked she felt. Rose walked in with a bag from the store and handed it to her.

"Thank you Rose. I'll pay you back."

"Don't worry about it." Rey did the test thing and set it on her bathroom counter while she waited for the answer to show up. Her heart was beating really fast... And her hands were  _still_  shaking. Rey waited a few minutes and then looked at the test. There were two lines... Meaning yes. She is pregnant. She picked up the test and walked out into the living room where Rose was. She stood up from the couch and walked up to her.

"Well?"

"I'm pregnant..." She handed Rose the test and started crying.

"Rey it's okay... This isn't a bad thing right...?"

"Rose it is a bad thing... I can't have a kid! And Ben doesn't want one... I don't know what to do..."

"Ben doesn't want kids?"

"Well he does but he isn't ready... Not yet... What if he wants nothing to do with him or her...? What if he doesn't want anything to do with me...?"

"Rey. Don't think that. Do you really think Ben would do that? Ben? Ben Solo?" Honestly she doesn't know... They haven't talked about kids besides Maya.

"I don't know... I'm just scared... Even if he did want something to with it... I feel like he'd be mad... Or want to do adoption... Or abortion... Or something..." Rey was still crying and Rose looked at her with a sad expression.

"When are you going to tell him?" She shrugged and looked at the wall.

"You're going to tell him right?"

"Of course I will. Just... Not yet."

"Rey you can't procrastinate this like you do everything else..." Rey wanted to protest but she was right... This isn't something she can avoid.

"I'm going to go to the doctor tomorrow. To be sure." Rose nodded.

"Would you like me to come with...?"

"I think it'd be better if I went alone."

"Alright." They sat down on the couch and Rey leaned her head on Rose's shoulder. It's good to have a friend that will always be there for her... A few hours pass and during that time they just watched movies and ate ice cream. It was nice. But then her phone rang. It was Ben.

"It's Ben..."

"Well answer it."

"But I'm gonna sound suspicious..."

"Answer it. You don't have to tell him now but you need to soon." Rey took a deep breath and answered.

"Hey Ben!"

"Hi. Just got to the hotel. I thought the plane ride would be a lot longer but I guess not. How are things at home?" Shitty.

"Good."

"That's good. Don't forget to go to the doctor tomorrow." Well it's kinda hard to forget you're pregnant...

"I know, I know. Hey I'll text you. Rose and I are watching a movie."

"Okay. Have fun. Love you."

"Love you too." They hung up and Rose sighed.

"You have to tell him tomorrow. Promise?"

"Promise." Maybe...

\---

The next day before Rey got to NU, she called the doctor's office to make an appointment. Once that was taken care of she got to the school and went to class. She's feeling really off today. It's probably because she's still worried and shocked about being pregnant. Maybe. She isn't 100% sure if she's even pregnant yet.

"Rey? You okay?" She looked up at Toby and nodded.

"Yeah. I'm fine. Just tired."

"Where's Ben?"

"Work trip in Canto Bight."

"Oof you sure you want him there?"

"What do you mean?"

"Rey that is like Las Vegas... But worse."

"Okay? I don't mind if Ben is there."

"You never know what stupid things someone could do while they're there." Rey mentally rolled her eyes and put her pointe shoes on. After class she had her lunch break and that was also when her appointment was, so she headed over there, texting Ben saying she is going.

**Ben: It's about fucking time. Let me know what's wrong.**

Rey nervously bit her lip and texted an 'Okay' before walking inside. She'll have to make something up- No. Tell him the truth.

"Name?"

"Rey Kenobi." The desk lady typed for a few seconds then handed her a clipboard.

"Fill that out. Doctor will see you shortly." Rey nodded and sat down. She answered all the questions on the paper and waited. The questions were simple like "Do you smoke?" or "When was your last period?" etc. The doctor, thankfully a girl, called her back. Once they were in the room Rey nervously tapped her foot on the ground.

"Hi I'm doctor Fitz but you can just call me Kendra." She smiled and Rey attempted to smile back.

"So what brings you in here today?"

"Well... I'm checking to see if I'm pregnant. I took a test but I wanted to make sure." Kendra nodded and took out a piece of paper.

"Alright. I'm gonna ask some questions and then we're gonna do some tests. I'll have to give you a physical exam as well. Will that be alright?" She nodded. This is the normal stuff that Rey does every few years. But this time it's different...

"How old are you?"

"I'm 20."

"Do you have a partner?" Rey nodded.

"Can I have a name?"

"Umm... Yeah. Ben Solo. Well full name or...?"

"His full name would be better."

"Benjamin Solo." She wrote the name down and sat back.

"So I'm going to ask personal questions but they are necessary."

"Okay."

"Are you sexually active?" Rey nodded once again and fixed her hair.

"Not as much anymore though."

"I'm going to assume Ben is the potential father?"

"Yes. My boyfriend."

"Mhm. Are you two trying to have a baby?"

"No..." Kendra looked up at her and gave her a sad smile.

"Do you use protection?"

"Yes... We kind of forgot... A few weeks ago."

"Do you know the date?"

"Halloween actually."

"Alright. Let's get some tests done." Kendra had her do a blood test because that's the best way to know. While that was being figured out, Kendra did Rey's checkup. As Kendra checked her ears and heartbeat Rey was glad she was making small talk.

"So how long have you been dating Ben?"

"A little over 3 months." Kendra smiled and did everything else with the checkup, asking occasional questions about her.

"Okay. You're healthy. I don't see anything wrong so I'll go see the results and I'll be back." Kendra left and Rey sat in the chair, anticipating what the results are. She knows she's pregnant. But a small part of her hopes she isn't. After a few minutes she came back in with a paper and sat back down.

"Alright. You are pregnant. You're estimated to be about 3 weeks along. Almost 4. From what you said and what I know, my guess is your first day of pregnancy was the day after Halloween. Maybe 2 days after. I'm sorry Rey..." She didn't want to cry in the doctor's office, but she did. Kendra handed her some tissues.

"Is there a reason why this isn't the best for you?"

"Yeah... Ben and I just aren't ready. We haven't known each other that long... I'm in college and I don't have a very good job..."

"Well there are options. You always have the decision to do an abortio-"

"No. I'd never do that. It's not fair to the baby..." She nodded.

"Well there is adoption." Rey considered it but decided that she won't do that either. She doesn't want to just give her baby away to strangers. The baby deserves his or her parents... Her and Ben will figure it out. 

"Let's schedule you an appointment for when your 8 weeks pregnant. I'll do an ultrasound and we'll just discuss some things. 8 weeks is 2 months and that will be around the beginning of January. Alright?" Rey nodded and they made the appointment. It's December in a few days so it's a lot closer to Nutcracker and her ultrasound than it feels. When Rey left the doctor's office and got in the car, she decided to call Ben. She needs to tell him. It's now or never. 

"Hello?"

"Hey Ben... You busy?"

"Umm... We're about to leave but it can wait. Did you need something?"

"Uh..." She tried putting it into words but then thought about it even more. This isn't something she should tell him on the phone... He'd freak out while he's gone. No stop making excuses. Just say it.

"Rey?"

"I was just calling to see how everything was going." Well shit. 

"Oh. You sure? 'Cause we can wait..."

"No it's fine." 

"Okay well everything is pretty good. We're going to some different locations to start looking. I'll tell you about it later." She wanted to tell him. She really did. But she just couldn't...

Ben's POV: 

The plane ride to Canto Bight was very boring and uneventful, especially since Rey isn't here with him. When they flew to Chandrila, Rey always found something to do and he felt more comfortable when she was there. But when he was alone his anxiety spiked because you never know when the plane could crash. 

The first night in his hotel room was also just as boring. He called Rey and went to sleep. In the morning he got dressed and got coffee with the officers that were apart of this search. He didn't know where Cal is but he's sure he'll be getting a call soon. He did get a call from Leia and so he went outside to take the call.

"Hello?"

"Ben I'm so, so, so sorry..."

"Why...? What happened?"

"What do you mean Ben? Your birthday was a week ago and I never called you..." What? Oh fuck!

"Uh don't feel bad mom. I forgot about my birthday too." How the actual fuck did he forget his own fucking birthday? What the hell... He never thought that would be something he'd forget but here we are. God he's an idiot.

"Seriously?"

"Yep. I spaced it."

"We must have been too occupied with what happened to Han..." That's true. After that call he went back inside and tried to figure out why he's so stupid and forgot his 25th birthday... He won't tell Rey because then she'll just feel bad. When Cal got to the coffee shop, they were going to leave and head over to the police station to talk to the cops here to find out if they've seen Kylo. He got a call from Rey as they were leaving, and she sounded a bit... what's the word... worried. Not herself. But he dismissed it and went on with the day. He really should tell her about his birthday... But he also doesn't want to. 

They walked into the station and talked to a few of the officers. They said they'd keep a lookout for Kylo. Ben was getting more and more frustrated with this... Why is Kylo so fucking hard to find? They left and talked outside about what to do first. 

"Ben what is something your brother would do in Canto Bight?" Easy question.

"Knowing him, he's going to be at a club trying to find someone to hook up with." Ben rolled his eyes at that thought and waited for Cal to respond.

"Alright, well since that's what he does I assume he'd do that at night... Let's pick this up tomorrow night. Meet in the hotel lobby at 7 pm tomorrow and we'll go to different clubs. You guys are dismissed to do whatever today and most of tomorrow." The other officers thanked him and left while Ben sighed and ran his hands through his hair.

"Solo I know you want to find him but ease up a bit. Go have a drink."

"I don't drink." 

"Maybe it's time you do." Honestly it sounds better than dealing with this right now. He said bye to Cal and went back to his hotel room. He needed to calm down so he called Rey on Skype. Her face came up on the screen and she smiled.

"Hey."

"Is this a bad time?"

"No. Just got done with dance. I have work in about an hour. What's up?"

"I needed to see your face..."

"You doing okay?"

"No." He rolled his eyes and laid down on the bed, holding the phone up so he could see Rey.

"It's just Kylo. Tomorrow we're going to clubs to find him. That's just going to be fucking awesome..." Rey looked at him sadly.

"It'll be alright." 

"It also doesn't help that I just remembered my birthday last week and then my mom-"

"What?!" Oh shit... He didn't mean to slip up like that. Rey's eyes widened.

"My birthday was last week... This dumb ass forgot."

"How could you forget your own birthday?!"

"Don't rub it in... It had to of been the whole Han and Kylo situation." She instantly calmed down and frowned.

"Ben... We missed your birthday? I feel bad now... I could have gotten you something and we could have gone out to dinner or whatever you-"

"Don't feel bad. It's fine. I forgot too."

"Fuck you even told me the date of your birthday! I'm a horrible girlfriend." He shook his head.

"No you're not. Don't beat yourself up over it."

"Fine, fine, fine. But we're doing something when you get back."

"Rey you don't have-"

"No. I will plan something, and you will do what I tell you." He chuckled and nodded.

"Alright Ms. Feisty pants." 

"Alright birthday forgetter." 

"You're never going to forget that are you..."

"Nope." Of course not. 

\---

Ben took Cal's advice and went out with one of the other officers, Cassian, for drinks. Ben has only had a few drinks throughout his life and that was at High School parties. He's never been drunk and never plans on ever being drunk. 

"What drink do you want Ben?"

"I don't know..."

"Well I'll order for you and if you don't like it then try something else." Cassian is nice and they talk a lot at work. It's nice to have friends for once. The only friend he has is Rey and she's not even his friend. She's his girlfriend so it's sad at the list of 'friends' he has. He guesses Finn counts but also not really. The bartender gave them their drinks and Ben asked what it was.

"Whiskey. Don't drink too much though, you're driving." 

"Obviously I'm not trying to get drunk." He took a sip and it wasn't too bad... After a few more sips he was feeling less stressed than before. 

"So how's the girlfriend doing?"

"Good. She's getting ready for this ballet thing and I officially can't stand Nutcracker music."

"She practicing a lot?" 

"Yeah... How's Jyn?" Jyn is Cassian's girlfriend and Ben could honestly just ask Rey that question but he's trying to make conversation. 

"She's good." They sat in silence for a few minutes.

"Is Rey still sick?"

"Yep. Speaking of, I need to text her and find out how her doctor appointment went..." Cassian nodded and looked like he wanted to say something.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Seriously what?"

"I have a suspicion... Have you two ever thought that she could be pr-" They were interrupted by Cassian's phone ringing. 

"I gotta take this." He left the area and left Ben alone with his thoughts. What was he going to say? He texted Rey, remembering to ask about the doctor.

**Ben: I forgot to ask, how did the doctor appointment go today?**

**Rey: Good I guess? They don't know what's wrong yet but they'll let me know.**

**Ben: Alright. I hope it's nothing too serious.**

**Rey: I have a feeling it might be...**

**Ben: Meaning?**

**Rey: I don't know. I gotta go, Maz will kill me if she sees me on my phone.**

**Ben: K. Love you**

\---

Ben got back to the hotel and threw everything on the couch. It was almost midnight and Ben and Cassian were at the bar for a really long time just talking and drinking. Ben has drunken enough to feel a little tipsy but he can fully function. 

**Ben: Hey. How's everything at home?**

**Rey: Good. I really miss you :(**

**Ben: I miss you too :'(**

**Rey: How's Canto Bight?**

**Ben: Boring af.**

**Rey: I'm sorry...**

**Ben:** **I did have the first drink in a long time but other than that... boring.**

**Rey: Wow... Look at you living on the edge *Large gasp*** Ben rolled his eyes. 

**Ben: Yeah, yeah. Shut up.**

**Rey: You alone?** He wasn't sure if that was supposed to be seductive or if she just generally wanted to know...

**Ben: Yep. Why?**

**Rey: No reason... ;)** Yep. Seductive. The winkey face is a dead giveaway. 

 **Ben: What are you wearing?** That was a dangerous question to ask...

 **Rey: Your shirt. Nothing else**  Fuck... This turned down a different path real fast. 

 **Ben: Do I get to see?** Not being with Rey has gotten him extremely needy for her.

 **Rey: Nope. When you're home though you can see, since you had a birthday you forgot about dumb ass...** He rolled his eyes.

**Ben: Can I at least get a sneak peek?**

**Rey: Sure ;)** Ben set his phone down and changed into his sweatpants. His phoned dinged a few seconds later. 

 **Rey: {Picture}** She was laying on her stomach with her phone out in front of her like she was taking a selfie. She was slightly smiling and from the angle he could see her cleavage. 

"Holy shit..." 

**Ben: Beautiful. As always...**

**Rey: What are you wearing birthday forgetter?**

**Ben: That killed the mood. lol**

**Rey: Answer the question.**

**Ben: Sweatpants. Nothing else. That didn't sound as hot as what you were wearing sounded**

**Rey: Says who? ;)** Ben brought his phone with him into the bathroom so he could brush his hair before getting in bed.

 **Rey: Do I get to see? ;)** Ben furrowed his eyebrows and looked at himself in the mirror. He took a mirror selfie and sent it. 

**Rey: Have you gotten buffer? Look at those muscles :o**

**Ben: I don't know** Ben turned the light off and got in bed. 

**Rey: Now I can show my friends a picture of my hot boyfriend ;)**

**Ben: Noooo** She didn't answer so he put his phone down and tried falling asleep. But Rey has put him in a very horny mood. He picked his phone back up and hoped she'd answer.

**Ben: You got me all hot and bothered...**

**Rey: Oh oops ;) And sorry I was getting food from the kitchen**

**Ben: Oh good. I thought you fell asleep.**

**Rey: Nope. Too busy.**

**Ben: With what?**

**Rey: Deciding which picture to send...**

**Ben: Picture?** That made him more awake than he already was.  **(A/N: The rest of this chapter gets a little mature but it's not too bad.)**

 **Rey: {Picture} I hope I get something in return ;)** Ben's eyes widened at the mirror selfie of herself naked. He wishes he was there with Rey right now...

**Ben: Holy shit... You're fucking hot.**

**Rey: I wish I could see how hot you are right now...** Ben nervously swallowed and looked back at the message she attached to the picture. She wants a picture back... Of what though? His whole body or just his... dick? He hesitantly got out of bed and made his way to the bathroom, turning the light on again. He ran his hands through his hair and tried to figure out what fucking picture to take. He awkwardly took his pants off and took a mirror selfie like she did then took a dick pic. He didn't know what one to send so he just sent both. He quickly put his pants back on and paced the room. He's not going to be able to fall asleep for a while now. 

**Rey: Oh my god... I really, really wish you were here right now...**

**Ben: Same.**

**Rey: You're so hot/sexy it should be illegal...**

**Ben: Guess I'll have to arrest myself then**

**Rey: No I want to be the one handcuffing you ;)**

**Ben: You're not helping with my 'hot and bothered' situation...**


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Someone wanted me to continue where I left off with the texting and I wasn't exactly sure how I'd continue that so I didn't lol. If you really want me to, comment or message me :)**

Rey's POV:

Rey spent her entire day filled with guilt. She should have told Ben that she's pregnant when she had the chance... But she's too scared. What will he say? What will he do? It's all so scary... The fact that she has a child in her was terrifying. She hopes she can be somewhat of a good mother... She knows for a fact Ben will be an amazing father, if he chooses to even be apart of the baby's life. That's another thing she's guilty about. She knows Ben well enough to know he isn't like that. But why is she still so scared of it?

Besides the extreme guilt she's been feeling, she misses Ben. He's been gone for not even 2 days and it feels like he's been gone for weeks. How badly will she miss him when it's been longer?

There is something she's excited about and that is celebrating Ben's birthday. She gets why he forgot his own birthday. He was way too distracted by Han's death and finding Kylo. But she will still tease him because it's funny. Ben teases her for calling him Bun after all.

When she got home from work she was fucking exhausted. Her normal classes along with extra practices and working at Maz's is tiring. When Ben had texted her at midnight she was still awake surprisingly. It's hard to sleep sometimes, even when she's wearing Ben's shirt, which is the most comforting thing in the world. She asked if Ben was alone because she was genuinely curious but also had a probably bad idea. She was nervous and worried at first about being flirty or whatever this was, but Ben seemed fine with it because he asked what she was wearing. A question that clearly meant he was thinking the same thing she was.

Ben also isn't the only one that's hot and bothered... The pictures he's sent are fucking hot and it's driving her crazy.

**Rey: You're so hot/sexy it should be illegal...**

**Ben: Guess I'll have to arrest myself then**

**Rey: No I want to be the one handcuffing you ;)**  Ah why is she acting like this?! She's never this confident...

 **Ben: You're not helping with my 'hot and bothered' situation...**  You're not helping either.

**Rey:** **Well that sucks for you lol**

**Ben: Yep. 2 weeks of being away from you will also suck**

**Rey: I second that. I'm going to call you on Skype.** Rey needed to hear his voice and see him. She went to her Skype app that she's never had a use for and called Ben. He answered after a few seconds.

"Hey." He was laying down and had the lamp on that was beside the bed. She had put Ben's shirt back on but didn't bother with anything else.

"Hi." She's not so confident on the phone...

"I fucking miss you..." She laughed and sat down on her bed.

"I think that will be a common theme for the next 2 weeks." He sighed and she could see him look her up and down.

"Disappointing..."

"What is?" She laughed again and laid down all the way.

"That you put the shirt back on." She blushed and tried not to laugh again. But that did give her an idea... That will be for Ben's late birthday celebration though.

"What are you thinking about?" Ben looked at her like with a hint of a smile.

"Nothing. You'll see when you're home."

"Well fine then." He laughed then let out a long sigh.

"Why don't you just come here?" Rey shook her head.

"You know I can't..." He groaned.

"I know... Ugh."

"You'll live."

\---

_ 1 week later _

Rey's practice with Toby today was doing well. Really well. Until he dropped her on the lift towards the end of practice. The lift was so good! So fucking good! But he had to fucking drop her while she was being held above his head. Dancer's worst nightmare coming true...

"Oh my god, are you okay?" Rey winced because she landed right on her arm but she feels fine. The impact did knock the breath out of her though.

"Yeah..." She's been in a pretty bad mood. Throwing up, dancing, eating a lot, working, and not being with Ben. It all just fucking sucks. She really wants Ben here. Just less than a week left...

"You sure...?" She stood up and nodded.

"Let's end early. I'm not feeling very well..."

"Oh fuck did I hurt you you? I'm sorry-"

"No, no. I've been sick lately."

"Lately? You've been sick for a long time. Are you sure you're okay?" Yep. She's just pregnant.

"I'm fine. Really." He looked at her suspiciously.

"Can I ask you something? It's a little... personal." Rey nodded.

"Have you and Ben ever... you know..."

"Had sex? You can say it..."

"Yeah." She sighed and nodded, wondering why he cared.

"Umm... Well... Could you maybe be... pregnant?" Rey didn't answer and just got her things together.

"Rey... You can tell me anything." Fighting back tears she stood up and faced him.

"Yes. I'm pregnant. You can't tell Ben though." He looked at her weird.

"He doesn't know?" The silence made him gasp.

"Rey! Why the fuck does he not know yet?!" Rey put her hands over her face and let out a sob. She felt Toby's arms wrap around quickly and she cried into his chest.

"Rey why can't you tell him...?"

"I'm scared..."

"Of what? Sweetie I've known him for not that long and even I know he'd reacted completely opposite to what you're thinking." She told him her thoughts and he just said that Ben wouldn't do that. But she doesn't get why she's still so scared. It's frustrating. She'll go to tell him when they're talking on Skype and she chickens out.

"Do you want to go out for ice cream or something?"

"Yeah. That'd be nice. I just need to stop at home first." He nodded and pulled away.

"I can just pick you up and we'll go together." She gave him her address then headed home. Once she got home she hurried and cleaned before Toby got here and she found the pregnancy test on her bathroom counter. Because she was in such a hurry, she just put it in her purse and got the door when she heard Toby knock.

\---

After getting ice cream with Toby, he dropped her back off at home and she slumped down on the couch. Almost asleep, she was startled by the sudden ringing of her phone. It was Ben Skype calling her like every other night he's been gone. She quickly answered and smiled.

"Hey Ben."

"Hey babe." Babe is what he has been calling her lately too. And she rather likes it.

"Anything new on Kylo?" Ben nodded but he seemed a little frustrated.

"Well as you know, we went to those clubs last week and found nothing. We've been just going to any place we can find for security footage. Well the footage at this one club showed Kylo and some girl. We've been at this club non-stop for the past 3 days and we can't seem to catch him. I'm tired of watching people be stupid and waste money on fucking lap dances. God..." Rey laughed a little at that last part.

"Have you been offered one?" It was a joke but he still answered.

"Sadly yes. I have never had interest in any of that kind of stuff before you and I still don't."

"What if it's from me?" His eyes darkened with lust and looked her up and down.

"That can be an exception." She rolled her eyes and huffed.

"How has your day been?" Now it's her turn to rant.

"Well first of all, I woke up late, then I couldn't fucking turn on pointe at all today, I missed lunch, and to make this day greater, Toby dropped me on a lift." Ben's eyebrows creased in concern.

"He dropped you? Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm okay. My wrist is sore but that's it."

"That's good. Have you thrown up at all today?" Yes.

"No actually. I'm getting better." Why can't she just fucking tell him the goddamn truth?

"That's good to hear."

Ben's POV:

The night after he texted Rey, they went to the first club to see if they could find Kylo. This isn't something Ben wanted to do but if this means they find Kylo, then so be it. They walked inside and he sighed, already dreading this.

"Let's split up. Ben go that way," he pointed to where people were dancing. "and Cassian go that way." He pointed towards the bar.

"Tom and I will go this way." Ben sighed and walked over by where people were dancing. They're not in their cop uniforms tonight because they kind of need to be undercover to find Kylo. Why did Cal have to send him over here? People kept running into him and he was trying not to get annoyed by it. It didn't help that there were many girls trying to hit on him. Trying. Their flirting skills were not good. And don't even get him started on the strippers... God. He's been doing his absolute best to stay turned away from them at all costs.

After a week of doing this, he's gotten used to it. He's learned to ignore the girls hitting on him completely. Also, he got a fake ring to make people think he was married and that actually helped a lot. He won't tell Rey that though... That'd be a weird conversation. 'Oh I bought a fake ring and told everyone you're my wife. No big deal.' Yeah... let's not tell Rey.

"Solo, you ready to go?!" He just got done with the Skype call with Rey and tonight they're going out extra late to hopefully find Kylo.

"Yeah!" He grabbed the hotel key and his phone then headed to the club again with everyone. They're running out of time to find Kylo... They have 5 days left. They walked inside and went to their normal positions, and his so happened to be the part where the dancing is. Again. Ben stood there for about 10 minutes when a girl walked up to him.

"Look I have-"

"Kylo, there you are!" Ben stopped talking and went with it. This has to be someone Kylo is hooking up with.

"Hey."

"Ready to get out of here?"

"Uh... I... yeah..." She looked at him weird then shrugged.

"Okay. Let's go then." She pulled him with her and he panicked. He looked over at Cassian and Cassian mouthed 'What are you doing?' Ben pointed at the girl and mouthed 'Kylo.' Cassian nodded and started walking in his direction. Right before Ben and this girl got outside Kylo suddenly walked to the girl.

"What are you doing?" Then he looked at Ben. Kylo immediately froze and before Ben could do anything Kylo was making a run for it out of the club. Ben chased after him and he hoped Cassian was following. Kylo ran right to a dead end and Ben laughed.

"Shit!" Kylo turned around and Ben slammed him up against the wall, holding him there. Ben was so angry that he couldn't think straight.

"You killed dad! Why did you fucking do that?! What was your fucking motive you fucking bastard?!" He didn't answer so Ben punched him in the face and he fell to the ground. Ben picked him back up by the collar of his shirt and slammed him against the wall again. Kylo winced.

"Answer me! Stop being a coward and answer me!" Cassian suddenly put his hand on Ben's arm and tried to get him to let go.

"Ben stop. We have him now. Let's just go." Ben shook his head and pulled his gun out, pressing it against Kylo's head.

" _Ben._ "

"Go ahead. Shoot me. Just imagine how Maya would feel when she finds out you killed her dad." Ben was so angry that he couldn't find it him to care.

"Ben, stop. Just handcuff him and lets go." He ignore Cassian. Ben went to pull the trigger but what Kylo said made him pause.

"Imagine what Rey would think." Rey wouldn't want anything to do with him... She'd think he was a monster just like his brother. Ben slowly lowered the gun and Cassian gently pulled Ben away from Kylo.

"I knew you were too weak. No wonder why you couldn't protect Rey." Ben went to punch him again but Cal showed up all of the sudden and got a hold of Ben.

"Calm down. I know you're angry but this isn't helping your anger. You're letting him win." Ben nodded and took a few deep breaths. Cassian had Kylo in handcuffs now and pulled him with him to the car. They finally got Kylo...

\---

As soon as they took care of Kylo, Ben went back to the hotel and packed. Cal said this meant they could leave early so Ben needs to call Rey and tell her. Kylo will be put in jail here because this is where he was found but it could change. Ben was so relieved that they got Kylo... It just scares him that Kylo made him so angry that he was willing to kill him for what he did. Ignoring that, he set his now packed suitcases down and Skype called Rey.

"Hey Ben. You're calling late..."

"Oh sorry did I wake you up?"

"No. I actually can't fall asleep so this will give me something to do."

"Oh good. Well I have good news." She smiled then yawned.

"What's the news?"

"We got Kylo and I'll be coming home tomorrow. I should be home a little before noon." Her eyes widened.

"Really? Oh my god." Ben explained what happened, except the almost killing him part.

"Hallelujah..." She closed her eyes for a second then opened them again before getting up from her bed really fast.

"Oh shit! If you're coming home tomorrow, I need to get your present ASAP." He shook his head.

"Don't worry about getting me a present."

"No! I'm getting you a present you butt face!"

"But-" She hung up and he groaned. He bets she's going to get him something right now. What a weirdo...

\---

The plane ride was once again uneventful but it wasn't as stressful. Now he can relax knowing Kylo has been arrested again. He called Leia and let her know and even though she didn't like her kid being in jail, she knows it's best. Rey was going to pick him up from the airport than apparently take him out to lunch for his late birthday. She is really hung up on that... He doesn't mind though. It's cute when she's excited.

He walked off the plane and got all of his stuff before walking towards the gate that Rey is waiting at. He scanned the crowd of people for a short girl with 3 buns and found her finally closer to the Starbucks in the airport. He started walking towards Rey and when she finally saw him she ran to him. Literally ran. He quickly set his stuff down and caught her when she jumped in his arms. She hugged him tightly and he nuzzled her hair.

"I missed you so much Ben..."

"I missed you too..." He finally set her down and she held his hand as they walked out to her car.

"Was Canto Bight as cool as everyone says?"

"Nope." She laughed a little and rested her head on his arm. She set her purse in the car then helped Ben get everything of his in her car.

"Why won't this fucking fit? It fit last time!" They couldn't get his last suitcase in and he started laughing at how wrong that sounded. She looked at him and started shaking her head.

"Ew, no." They finally got everything in the car and she drove them to Maz's diner.

"I know you like those weird cake thingys so I'm bringing you here. Plus Maz offered we could eat for free so there's that." Ben smiled and got out of the car. Him and Rey walked in together and for the first time at Maz's they sat down together. While they waited Rey tapped his finger with the fake ring on it. Oh shit... He forgot to take that off.

"What's with the wedding ring?" She laughed.

"Did you accidentally get married or something?" He chuckled and shook his head.

"No... I uh wore this to make people think I was married. It actually helped me a lot." She smirked.

"Who's this fake wife of yours?"

"You." She smiled and looked up at Maz when she came to their table.

"Hey you two. I assume the usual for both of you?" They both nodded and Maz smiled.

"Alright." When she walked away Rey pulled a small present out of her purse and handed it to him.

"You really didn't have to-"

"Shut up and open it. I wanted to." He nodded and opened it. It was a framed picture of him and his dad when they went to Chandrila. Ben appeared to be laughing while Han looked like he was saying some joke.

"I had to hurry last night and go buy the frame. I could have done that this morning but I needed to get that picture from Leia and she wasn't awake last night. I printed it quickly this morning before you got home. Do you like it...?" He teared up and smiled.

"I love it." He really did. He doesn't have any pictures of him and his dad. This was very thoughtful of Rey.

"I have another present but that's... for later."

"Another present? Rey you really didn't have to." She smiled shyly and shook her head.

"I didn't buy this next one."

"What is it?"

"You'll have to find out for yourself when we're back at your apartment." He eyed her suspiciously and she just kept smirking.

\---

After lunch they went to his apartment and Ben set all of his stuff down in his room. When he went back into his living room Rey was waiting for him.

"Sit down." He slowly made his way to the couch and sat down. She suddenly straddled him and he looked at her curiously

"This is your next present." Oh... It's  _that_ kind of present.


	38. Chapter 38

Rey's POV:

Rey was so fucking excited that Ben was finally home. She missed him so much. Hearing the news that he was coming home early  _and_ that he found Kylo, was very relieving on so many different levels. Last night, when he called and told her the news, she had to hurry with his present. Chandrila has different time zones and for Leia it was 4 in the morning so Rey didn't bother with calling her about a picture of Ben and Han tonight. She wasn't sure if any stores were open at 11 pm but luckily the store Wal-Mart was.

While she was looking for a nice picture frame, she saw Poe. Things between them are a bit... awkward. They haven't talked since the party at Unkar's house. She tried to go unnoticed but he saw her and walked to her. 

"Hey. I haven't seen you in a bit."

"Hmm... I wonder why." Rey said sarcastically. Poe sighed and followed her through the aisle. 

"Look, the kiss was in the past. I'm sorry."

"It wasn't just the kiss Poe. It was how you acted that night at the bar."

"I was drunk. I didn't know what I was doing." Rey ignored him and grabbed some vitamins since she's pregnant. She still doesn't know when to tell Ben... 

"Why are you getting those...?" 

"Uh... It will help me be healthier..." 

"Prenatal vitamins though?" Oh shit...

"Are you..." Thank god someone decided to call her in this exact moment. It was Rose and she answered it quickly.

"Hey."

"Hey... Can we talk?"

"Of course. I'm at the store though so can I call you back?"

"Yeah. I'm just upset about something."

"Alright. I'll hurry." She hung up and waved bye to Poe.

"I'll see you later." She's glad Rose called her... When Rey was back home, Rose was just upset because Finn hasn't been talking to her lately and she thinks he's mad at her. Rey said she'd talk to Finn for Rose and see what's up. 

The next day Rey got the picture she wanted from Leia then went to a printing place to get it printed on the sturdier paper. By the time she was done with that she had to go pick Ben up from the airport. She was really glad that Ben liked his present and couldn't wait to get to Ben's apartment. Now she is finally going to do what she's been wanting to do for a few days now. 

"This is your next present." Ben's eyes darkened as she was straddling him and then she stood back up again, earning a questioning look from Ben. **(A/N: I'm sure by now you know what bold means. I warn you though, this next part is a little extra mature lol)**

**Rey slowly took her shirt off and she saw his adam's apple bobbing. She tried to take her jeans off as graceful as she could but that was near impossible so whatever. Ben looked up and down her body and an idea came to mind. She took her shirt and tied it over Ben's eyes.**

**"I want to see you..."**

**"Later. I heard everything feels even better when you can't see. Some sensory thing." Rey straddled him again and he immediately put his hands on her waist.**

**"Lift your arms for a second." He did as he was told and she pulled his shirt off. She ran her hands over his chest and started grinding against him. He groaned and put his hands back where they were before slowly trailing them up her body to her head. She knew he wanted to kiss her so she leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss against his lips. Rey got back up on her feet again and he actually whined.**

**"Just relax. I promise you'll get what you need." She got down on her knees in front of him and started unzipping his jeans.**

**"Rey-"**

**"If you're going to ask if I'm okay with this, then I suggest you shut up." He chuckled and nodded. Rey pulled down his pants as much as she could but it was difficult because he was sitting. He looked like he was going to say something again so she quickly put her mouth on his dick. The words died and he let out a moan instead. She took her mouth off of him and started stroking him. He was clenching his hands so tightly that his knuckles were turning white.**

**"You don't have to restrain yourself from touching me..." After a few seconds he put his hands on her head and ran his fingers through her hair. She started sucking on his dick again and his grip on her hair got harsher. She didn't give a fuck though.**

**"Rey if you keep doing that I'm not going to last..." She kept doing it anyway because that was her goal.**

**"As much as I love this... I need to be inside you." She took her mouth off again to answer, but before she could he was pulling her up towards his face and pinning her to the couch. Ben took the shirt off his eyes and threw it somewhere behind him. He quickly stood up and pulled his pants off all the way before picking her up and throwing her over his shoulder. She squealed as he carried her to his room and dropped her on the bed. He pinned her hands beside her head and grinded against her.**

**"Stay put." She laughed slightly as Ben got a condom out of his drawer. They don't need that anymore because she's pregnant but she's not about to tell him right now. It's not the right time to just be like, 'Oh hey. I'm pregnant'. He put the condom on then pulled her underwear down, throwing that somewhere too. He lined himself up with her body and looked at her, silently asking permission. Rey nodded and he thrust into her. It was quick and sudden so she instantly put her hands on his back, probably digging her nails into him on accident. He kissed her neck then pulled her back up towards him sightly before using one hand to unhook her bra. He pulled it off then let her relax against the bed again. By now he was slowly thrusting but it was almost too slow...**

**"Ca-Can you..." She stopped herself suddenly feeling awkward. She's doing this but she can't ask a simple question.**

**"Can I what, sweetheart?" He could feel his smirk against her neck and she rolled her eyes.**

**"Can you go faster..?" Instead of answering her with words he quickened his pace and looked at her face.**

**"Don't get embarrassed about asking questions or saying something..." She nodded and he started kissing her lips this time. She was coming close to her release and she was trying to keep her moaning to a minimum. Ben came before her and that was the first time that's happened. Well she was driving him crazy for a good amount of time so it makes sense. He kept thrusting though so she could come too, which didn't take too much longer. Usually they talk a lot but they've been busy kissing each other to do that. He finally pulled away and they both were catching their breaths as he pulled out and went to the bathroom.**

Rey sat up and grabbed one of the blankets on his bed then wrapped it around her. He came back in the room with sweatpants on and his shirt in hand. He knelt down in front of her and gently took the blanket off of her before putting his shirt over her head. He stood up and kissed her forehead then laid down beside her, pulling her to lay down too. She rested her cheek on his chest and closed her eyes. 

"Thank you Rey for the picture. And this." She laughed slightly and smiled. 

"You're welcome." 

\---

The next night Toby and her had practice so that's what she did while Ben worked. Ben came in later with food and she smiled brightly before running over to him and giving him a quick kiss. 

"Hey Ben."

"Hey sweetheart. I'm just dropping this off then I'll-"

"Actually could you stay and watch? We're about to run through our pas de deux and I want you to see if it is looking good."

"Knowing you, I know it's beautiful but of course I'll watch." 

He sat down in one of the chairs while Rey turned on the music quickly. Toby and Rey walked towards each other and once they made it to each other he held her waist while she did a half inward turn. She then goes up onto pointe, putting her right leg in arabesque while he spins her in a circle. While she did this she tried to be the character... Imagining this was Ben dancing with her. When the music picks up she did a leap as Toby held her hips, landing her softly. She then leaned away from him on pointe and he held her hand, not letting her fall. Towards the middle of the dance the song got louder and more intense. That's when he starts lifting her up in the air and she does a kick. They did the lifts they've been practicing after that. Here and there, there were a few pirouettes where he holds her waist to sustain them. At one point they separated and Rey did a bunch of bourrees across the floor. At the very end she does a pirouette for as long as she can until a loud beat hits and she ends in a penche. Toby helped her stand back up and they both caught their breaths while she turned the music off. 

"Nice job, Toby." 

"Thank you. I gotta get going now. I'll see you guys." She waved goodbye and he left the room. Ben walked over to her and put his hands on her waist, pulling her against him. 

"You did beautifully." 

"Thank you. It's still a little rough but-"

"But nothing. It looks perfect. Okay?"

"Okay." He smiled and kissed her.

"Will you go grab my phone? It's in my purse."

"Sure." He pulled away and she took the CD out of the CD player. She faced Ben and he was completely still as he held her purse. She didn't know what he was looking at because he was facing away from her. 

"What?" He set her purse down and turned towards her with her pregnancy test. Oh shit... She completely forgot that she threw it in there when she cleaned her apartment up... This is not how she wanted Ben to find out. 

"Ben, I-"

"You're pregnant?" She nodded and walked closer to him. 

"That's not possible... We've always used a condom." He eyed her and she didn't know what to do. Her palms were sweating and she was trying not to cry. Ben's expression was really hard to figure out. 

"On Halloween... We forgot." She saw the realization hit him and he threw the test where he set her purse. 

"Shit." He paced a little bit and ran his hands through his hair. 

"Ben, I'm sorry I didn't mean for this to-"

"It's not your fault. Don't be sorry." 

"But I should have been more-" He grabbed onto her wrist and shook his head.

"No. I got way too carried away. Do not blame yourself." Tears prickled her eyes and she bit her lip. 

"I know you're not ready for kids and I get that so I understand if you don't-"

"Don't finish that sentence. Babe... I wouldn't _ever_ leave you because of a baby. We'll... figure it out later, okay?" Rey was so overwhelmingly relieved and happy. She was so stupid to think Ben would push her away... But she is still scared. Scared of Kylo ruining everything. Scared of having a child inside of her.

"I'm scared..." He wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly against him. She let the tears she was holding in fall down her face.

"Everything will be okay. Is this why you've been sick...?" She slowly nodded. 

"How long have you known?" This is the part where he'll get mad...

"Since the day you left..." He pulled away from her and he didn't look too happy.

"What?! When were you planning on telling me?! I'm also now realizing if I wouldn't have gone through your purse to find your phone, I wouldn't know you were pregnant right now." Rey winced and fiddled with her fingers. 

"I don't know... I was going to tell you when I called you about my doctor's appointment while you were on your trip but I was too scared. I didn't want you to get mad..." His expression softened. 

"Rey... this isn't something you can keep from me... I'm going to be a dad and that's something I kind of want to know." She nodded. 

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't be. Let's just... forget that part of it. How did you find out?" 

"Well I called Rose and she brought me a pregnancy test over. I was worried because I went to your apartment to grab my hairbrush and then I decided to clean your apartment. I found our checklist from my nightmare and I saw the note of me being pregnant in the dream. I instantly figured out that was the reason for being sick, and gaining weight, and all that other shit." She paused then continued. 

"I went to the doctor's the next day and the doctor said I was 3 almost 4 weeks pregnant. I'm guessing I'm about 5 or 6 weeks now. Speaking of... we have the first ultrasound January 8." He nodded and hugged her again. 

"Will you go to the ultrasound with me...?"

"That's a dumb question. Of course I'm going with you. I want to go to every single one of them. This is... our kid." 

"Ben?"

"Hmm?"

"What about the Kylo dream...?" He was silent for a few seconds before answering.

"He's in jail... If something goes wrong then... we'll figure it out. Okay? Maybe I didn't even die in the dream. Did you ever see me actually die?"

"Well I mean he stabbed you and I mostly assumed..." 

"Maybe I do get stabbed or something but I don't die." She guesses he's right. But also... he could be wrong. 

Ben's POV: 

Ben wasn't exactly sure what he was feeling right now. As soon as he saw that pregnancy test his head was filled with lots of confusion, anger with himself, worry that he'll suck at being a dad... There was no way this was possible because they've been careful every time they've had sex. As soon as Rey mentioned Halloween though he remembered that he actually never used protection. He was so angry with himself... He finally let himself go and this is the consequence. He wasn't sure if it was bad or good yet. There is also the question, will he be a good or bad dad? He isn't ready for this at all... but him and Rey have to work through this together. Even if at some point he's harmed by Kylo. 

Ben was a little more than pissed to find out that Rey kept this from him for so long. He honestly feels dumb. All of the signs... how on earth did he not see them? Rey throwing up, gaining weight, eating more, and slightly moodier. He wasn't so mad anymore when Rey explained. She seemed super nervous and he thinks she's absolutely insane that she thought he'd leave her for being pregnant. He's not Kylo. He was in a good mood from watching Rey dance but now it's kind of 'eh'. She danced like no one was watching and he's so proud that she wasn't nitpicking this dance like her solo. Yesterday was also fun but now he guesses the condom wasn't necessary. She's pregnant anyway...

"Maybe I do get stabbed and I don't die." She sighed against him and slowly nodded. 

"I'm just glad you don't hate me for this... Toby and Rose reassured me you wouldn't but-"

"Toby knew about this before me?" He groaned.

"Yeah... He kinda just guessed. Sorry..."

"Stop saying sorry. None of this is your fault."

"Sorr-Okay." 

"Do you want to come over? We can watch a movie and get our minds off of this for now." Rey nodded and started grabbing her stuff. 

"I choose the movie though. And I know just the one." He saw her smirk and he wondered what she had in mind. 

\---

"No." She waved the DVD in front of him and was smiling. They went to the store to buy a movie and some snacks. 

"Please?"

"No. We're not watching 'Fifty Shades of Grey'." Not only is the movie inaccurate, he just doesn't want to watch it. It's... weird.

"I'm not watching porn." Rey snorted.

"It's not porn you weirdo. It's got a good storyline." 

"Pfft okay." He rolled his eyes and she kept waving the movie in front of him. 

"Fine." 

"Yay!" They bought the movie and their snacks then went to Ben's apartment. She quickly put the movie in while Ben made popcorn and put some of their snacks on plates. He heard Rey giggle and he looked at her questionably. 

"What?"

"You're so OCD."

"So? What's wrong with putting our snacks on plates?" She walked into the kitchen and ate one of the pretzels from the bag. Ew... He can't eat things straight from the thing.

"You seem to be a bit of a germophobe too. Wait 'till we have a kid. You'll be having panic attacks." He rolled his eyes and continued putting their things on plates. 

"Seriously, Ben? You're putting M&M's on there too?"

"You know what? Stop judging me or we won't watch the movie." He laughed and she gave a dramatic gasp.

"Fine, Fine. I respect your weird M&M plating." She started smiling again.

"And pretzel plating and sour patch kids plati-"

"Okay shut up. I get it, I have a problem." He shook his head and smiled. They went back to the couch with their snacks and Rey started the movie. 

"I remember seeing this movie for the first time with Finn and Poe. It was so funny to watch them suffer." 

"Wow is someone a secret serial killer?" She looked over at him and smirked. 

"Maybe." She laughed and then she got serious.

"Okay shush and pay attention."

"You're the one-" 

"Shh little one." 

"I'm pretty sure I'm the opposite of little-"

"Shh big one." She kept a straight face for a second then started laughing really hard. Rey took her shoes off and leaned against Ben. He looked down at her and then her feet. She had blisters all over. Holy fuck...

"What the fuck happened to your feet?"

"Oh, Pointe shoes. I can put socks on if they're-"

"No I don't care. That looks like it's painful..." 

"It is. But I'm used to it so don't worry." He pushed her off of him then went into the kitchen to find Neosporin and band-aids. He went back to her and sat where her feet were before pulling her body closer to him so he could hold her feet better. 

"Ben my feet are disgusting. Are you sure you-"

"Just let me take care of you." He put the Neosporin on all of her blisters while they watched the movie. It was at the part of the movie where Ana was meeting Christian Grey and they were both cracking jokes. 

"Can you imagine me being Miss. Rey? I'd have to teach you to not be naughty." They both laughed. It got to the part where Ana goes over to Christian's house to negotiate the relationship and now him and Rey are laughing about that. Later in the movie Christian was getting mad at Ana for drinking too much.

"Oh my fucking god..." Rey laughed at Ben.

"What?"

"'If you were mine you wouldn't be able to sit down for a week'? Dude that's harsh..." Why can't they stop laughing at this stupid movie? They got to a part right after that where she bit her lip in the elevator and he started kissing her.

"Ben that's literally us after the beach." He laughed again and realized how similar it was. 

"I so relate to Christian because when she bites her lip it drives him nuts. You always bite your stupid lip and I'm over here screaming at myself to not do anything." She snorted again. She's been snorting a lot today and it's super cute.

"Oops. Well you know how you two also relate? You both get super jealous. You're both also super hot." They were silent for a while after that but then once they got to the first sex scene Ben started feeling awkward so Rey was teasing him for it. 

"Come on Ben, it's just boobs! You've seen mine, what's so different?"

"They're not your boobs, that's what." A few seconds pass and Rey starts giggling again.

"Hey at least you get to see all of her. All I get to see of the dude is his butt." Ben raised his eyebrows and looked over at her, smirking. 

"Hey don't judge me."

"Not judging... Nope." 

\---

The movie was finally over and he was so glad. The movie is well done but the content is terrible. His thoughts drifted back over to Rey being pregnant. He didn't really want to think about this again until tomorrow but here he is. It's a lot of stress knowing she's pregnant. There is that hint of excitement knowing they get a child of their own out of this though... and the fact that him and Rey will take care of him/her is making him think crazy things. Like marrying her and getting a house of their own. He wants that of course, but does Rey? Something he didn't think about was Maya. Maybe when the baby is born and they've gotten used to it a bit, they can take care of her finally. He knows they'll need Leia's help and she's not going anywhere. Him and Rey would have to be the ones to go there... It will ruin Rey's career and he doesn't want that so they might be dealing with this on their own. 

"My first Nutcracker performance is in two days I just realized..." He looked over at her and rubbed his finger over her knee. 

"You'll do amazing. You have 6 performances and I'm sure you'll do better and better each time." Rey sighed and nodded. 

"I guess you're right..." He was glad for the small distraction but his thoughts went right back to where they were. 

"Ben? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." She sat up and faced him, sitting on her knees. 

"You look like you're thinking about something." 

"I am but it doesn't really matter right now..."

"Ben. Just tell me." 

"I'm just thinking about the baby and how we'll make this work..." Rey crawled over to him and straddled him before hugging him. 

"I don't what I'm going to do about dance... I can't dance much longer until it starts to get unsafe for the baby. I don't know what to do... You work all the time and I'm working too on top of school."

"We can work this out along the way... I'm sure my mom will help as much as she can." Ben thought about how complicated it'd be for both of them to be living on their own. How will- wait. An idea came to mind suddenly. 

"I should probably get home..."

"Wait. I have a question..."

"Yeah?"

"Will you move in with me?" Rey looked she was thinking about it and he hoped she'd say yes. 

 


End file.
